


Beauty in the Broken

by Better_On_Page



Series: Kailock [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Healing, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 01:40:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 145,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1327042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Better_On_Page/pseuds/Better_On_Page
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kairi, continuing her life as much as possible after what happened, is still in London, surrounded by her friends. She's been fighting everyday to piece together the fragments left over from the nightmarish incident one year ago, but it has been a struggle. Working, wedding planning, and therapy consume her days, that is, until Sherlock returns. Sequel to Born in Black and White</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A SEQUEL TO BORN IN BLACK AND WHITE - If you'd like any story continuity, I suggest you read that one first as this is heavily rooted in what occurred in that story. Enjoy!

 

Kairi toddled around her front room, bouncing and shushing the baby that was wrapped up against her. The three month old infant was curled upon her chest, secured by a lavish piece of material, artfully tied to support him against the flat plane of her chest and stomach. She kept switching from humming to shushing anytime the little baby stirred against her, brazenly nuzzling his tiny face within the valley of her chest, no doubt rooting for food. She sighed as he did this, since she felt as if it were only moments ago that she fed him. She glanced at her nearby clock and realized that it had actually been a couple of hours since his last feeding and she better get on it if she didn't desire a screaming infant in her arms.

Too young to feed in the confines of the woven wrap, she gracefully untied it and sat herself down on the couch preparing to feed the eager and quickly growing baby with dark hair and deep blue eyes. He had yet to acquire either his mother or his father's signature orbs. She smiled sweetly at him as he wriggled in her lap, yawning and cooing and looking very much like his father with his wry grin. She chuckled at that, the charm seemed to be genetic. She woke him up a bit, tapping on his hands and getting him to reach out and grip her fingertips with a giggle. She cooed at him, trying to get him to respond or echo. For only three months old, he seemed to be very smart, developing quickly and curious about the world around him. Kairi couldn't be more proud.

"May I feed him?"

Kairi looked up into the eyes of Danni, now a brilliant six going on seven year old standing on the other side of the arm of the sofa. "Why don't you play with him a bit while I get his bottle ready?"

Danni's eyes brightened as Kairi stood and laid him down on his play mat. Danni sat next to him with Toby just a foot away, popping his head up and thumping his dangerous tail against the ground with a whump. He crawled just minutely closer, stretching out his nose to take in the glorious scent of a fresh little baby. Kairi chuckled as she walked into her kitchen and reached into her freezer to pull out a bag of pumped breast milk. She placed it in the warmer and got it started as she watched Toby and the children with a keen eye.

"Danni, you mustn't move around so much, he's still learning to focus." The refined voice of a now eight going on nine year old Julie called out, quite regally, from the nearby chair as she read one of Kairi's old books.

"He's a baby, he needs to learn to adapt." Danni shot back with snark, "Plus, he likes it!" She smiled down and wiggled her fingers in the infants face as his eyes widened with wonder.

Kairi chuckled again and looked to Julie who just rolled her eyes at her little sister. Kairi hastened to prepare the bottle, dropping the little plastic bag into the recommended bottle. This fancy thing was most analogous to a breast, as to not ruin little William's proper latch. The timer dinged just as the bottle was put together and Kairi switched the milk from the freezer bag into the bottle, swirling it gently to get it at the right temperature for the infant's sensitive mouth. She tested it on her wrist, not feeling a thing as the cream colored drops patterned her pale skin and she smiled happily, finally feeling as if she were getting the hang of this infant business.

She walked back over to the passel of children and sat the bottle on her coffee table. She bent over to the dark and wild haired baby and picked him up, bouncing him all the way back to their spot on the couch with Toby, hulking and awkward, following closely to ensure that the little one would not be harmed. In such a short time, Toby sure had formed an attachment to the little one. Everyone had.

She sat down and adjusted him in her lap, grabbing the bottle and putting it to his eager lips as he tried to grab at her shirt to get it out of his way, "Now that isn't going to work right now is it?" Kairi smiled and rubbed the nipple against his other cheek to distract him, "Here you go, bub." She grinned as he eagerly took it in and began to drink happily.

They sat like that for however long it takes a baby to feed, switching up sides and burping him to make it feel more natural. She knew how important it was for William to continue breastfeeding. She found it all quite educational and interesting, learning this new little human.

Once William was over her shoulder, fast asleep as she patted his back and waited for him to belch, she heard the sound of keys in her door and turned slowly, a keen smile on her face.

"So how is he?" The familiar voice echoed in her ear and it made Kairi feel just a little less alone.

"Fine!" Kairi whispered and winked, "He's just burping, Heather. I didn't know you'd be back so soon so I gave him a bottle just a minute ago."

Heather smiled and waved a dismissive hand at her sister, "No problem, Kairi, I'm just about beat and I was thinking we should be heading back to the hotel soon anyway. I want a nap before we go out to dinner." She smiled as she walked up to Kairi to take a peak at the sleeping lump in Kairi's arms.

"Oh, he's so precious Heather, I'm not sure I can let you take him back." Kairi chuckled as Adam walked through her flat's door, carrying some small bags.

"Don't you say that," Adam growled playfully, "you'd have to go through me first. I've been patiently waiting for a little man to call my own and I won't let the likes of you have him." He winked and Kairi just chuckled as she handed the fifteen pound babe back to his mother.

"I have half a mind to let you have one of them though." Heather chuckled as William stirred in her arms and she nodded to her other children who scowled at her comment. Heather rolled her eyes, "Oh I'm joking, I love you both to bits."

Danni seemed appeased while Julie gave a haughty scoff they both went back to their previous activity.

"Will we be seeing Sherlock this time?" Danni piped up after a few moments of tender silence.

Heather cleared her throat and Adam froze. Kairi felt tears stinging behind her eyes and she just chuckled, "No, not this time. He's still away on business."

Danni's face dropped and she sighed, "He's missed all our chances to play!" She sounded outright wounded, "Christmas! Thanksgiving! Did he even get you a present for those?" Kairi frantically looked over to Toby, the almost eight month old pup who was already a lumbering monstrosity of muscle and loose skin. "What about your birthday!?" Danni squealed in anger against the protesting shushes of her mother.

Kairi sighed and shrugged, keeping a smile on her face to hide the pain that was so very obvious to the adults in the room, "He's on business Danni. We can't help it. I'm sure we will see him soon, it's just hard when he's on a case. He's really quite focused. He's helping people." It was Kairi's mantra these days, all of the days since he had gone.  _He's helping me._

Danni huffed, "It's still not nice to miss Christmas." She sat on the rug with a sigh and then began to rub the belly of the only present Kairi had received from her absent detective.

Kairi swallowed heavily and glanced to her sister who looked pained, "No, it isn't Danni, and he'll have a lot to make up for, wont he?" She nodded dutifully to her niece who looked sad, "Perhaps we'll have to come visit for longer on the next holiday, maybe a Christmas celebration at Disneyland?"

Julie and Danni's eyes both widened and stared at their aunt with absolute glee. Heather chuckled and Adam sighed heavily.

"Perhaps we can give your mom and dad a break and just take you kids?" Kairi chuckled, "Next time you see him though, you'll need to pester him about it." Kairi walked over to Danni and sat next to her and held her hand, "You can't let up at all, he's very stubborn."

Julie giggled, "Oh, I think we can manage!"

Kairi smiled at her nieces conspiratorially. That should punish him a bit for the last half a year of non-correspondence. Her only reassurance that Sherlock was even alive were mutters from John and a comforting, yet vague, speech about national security from Mycroft every time she asked.

"We can handle it." Danni said, reassuring her aunt by patting her hand in a most mature fashion.

Kairi just chuckled a little evilly at that. She stood after patting Toby on the gut and began packing away the necessary items for Heather and the family's trip back to the hotel.

"Are you sure it's okay for tomorrow? I don't want to feel like we're dropping the kids on you constantly." Adam asked nervously.

Kairi waved her hand at them, "I'm on break still - Christmas vacation for the kids. Mycroft wants me to have my birthday off, so it's no problem. Molly and John will be away visiting Molly's family. I'd like a day with the girls and William, maybe we can go for a walk at Regent's park." Kairi muttered with a slight tremor in her voice. She had to recreate new and happy memories there. She shook her head slowly, "That or the science museum. So, possibly bring around the stroller so we can take the tube."

Heather gave her a weary look, "Are you sure that's safe with all the kids?"

Kairi nodded, "I'll bring Toby along with his training vest, no one will bother us with him around."

Heather chuckled, looking at the giant mound, belly up and being scratched by her daughter who was giggling wildly. Adam spoke up, laughing, "No I don't think anyone would. He looks like one of those hellhounds from Ghostbusters."

Kairi laughed at that, looking at Toby, his jowls floppy as he hung upside down with the tell-tale grin of a pit bull's face. "He does, doesn't he? That might be a good halloween costume for next year. I could be Sigourney Weaver in that orange tapestry thing." She chuckled and then ran a hand through her bobbed auburn hair, "I'll have to let my hair grow out a bit and make it all curly."

Adam walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek as he took the children's bags and loaded himself up, "I think you'd make an adorable Gate Keeper."

Kairi chuckled and helped him get sorted. "Oh you..." She patted his shoulder as the girls took their backpacks and shrugged them on. "Anytime tomorrow, just give me an hour or so's notice."

Heather smiled, "Adam will be around to drop them off around eleven, just around William's nap so he wont be too crazy. I've got a spa day! We'll pick them up early afternoon." She giggled merrily.

"Oh?" Kairi sounded jealous, "What'll you be doing then Adam?"

He grinned at Kairi cheekily, "The London Dungeon!"

Kairi rolled her eyes as she scoffed playfully, "I thought that was for kids?"

He looked affronted and paused his shifting of bags for the baby, "So?"

Kairi chuckled again and helped them carry out their large amount of things. So much was required for three children that it dazzled her! A bag for each child, not to mention the cold bag for the breast milk and a play mat and car seat for little William. A cab rolled up and amidst frantic goodbyes and reorganizing, Kairi bid them farewell and promised an exciting day tomorrow. Everyone smiled and blew kisses and they were off and Kairi went back into 221 Baker Street alone.

She reached the crucial point in the house. The one that could either let her keep her sanity or cause her to crumble into a mess. She glanced up the stairs, sighing heavily and turned away with closed, wet eyes. She shivered to herself, walking back into her flat and slumping down on her couch, resting her face in her hands.

Toby, amorous as ever, waggled over to her and pushed his way between her legs, forcing his face between her hands to kiss away the tears that were leaking from her eyes. She chuckled in spite of her sadness and hugged the beast against her chest. She loved Toby greatly. He was a perfect addition to her life, a needed change that fully pulled her out of her slump.

She had spent the last year, dangerously alone and distant, slowly coming to terms with what happened with her and...

She went to therapy, took medication for a while, and let her body heal as much as it could. It took a lot of focus, a lot of determination, and a lot of compassion to allow herself to feel comfortable in her own skin. With help from Dr. Sherman and her friends, she was even daring to admit that she may even love herself a little bit. She started with discovering her passions, trying to volunteer at different places, animal shelters, nursing homes, and finally at a school, all the while working part-time for Mycroft. She ended up sticking with the school, teaching children basic computer skills and even some basic web skills in order to help them learn the proper ways to research. Some of the older children who mastered typing and search skills even got basic tutorials in web design. She worked with decent people around bright children and it warmed her heart. She loved the work Mycroft gave her, but working with children was a special challenge. She didn't want them to be susceptible, she didn't want them to feel inadequate, despite their station. She wanted to make sure that they had enough confidence to ensure their future, to keep them away from the dark reaches of this world that already grappled for their home life. Kairi needed purpose and this was the perfect one.

She hugged Toby again as his large tongue grated about the clean skin of her face and chewed on her hair. Still such a puppy despite almost weighing the same amount as her. Where Appa was tall and lithe and ominous and regal, Toby was a bit of a gruff mutt, packing muscle into an only slightly smaller package. Half of her home had been clanged and bashed about when he discovered the perfect way to wield his tail with deathly force. Yes, Kairi loved him. Lazy and happy and loving, Toby was just what she needed.

Holes were still very much present in her heart, one in the shape of her absent detective. The last she had heard from him was the box in her home with Toby inside. The world seemed to move on around them, Sherlock mysteriously absent and Kairi feeling like she was wilting away.

She felt better, she really did. She still had nightmares, curbed occasionally by sleeping pills that were prescribed by her team of doctors. She fought her depression and anxiety with exercise and at one point medication when it had gotten overwhelming. Concurrent visits with Dr. Sherman had helped her refocus and retune. She had been working hard to get better. She  _wanted_  to get better. She was still angry, still very scared, but she worked and she fought. She fought for her friends, she fought for Sherlock, but most importantly, she fought for herself. She would no longer live in the darkness, fearing shadows at every step.

She stood abruptly, with Toby at her heels and stalked to the kitchen, trying to dispel her pain. The hardest part was missing Sherlock desperately. The hardest part was wanting him here, close, in her arms, kissing his lips. The painful part was knowing that even if he did show up in the next twenty minutes, there was still that terrified bit of her that had no idea what to do with him.

She busied herself in the kitchen, grabbing ingredients and flapping about. She finally pulled out her phone and put on some upbeat music, enticing her to dance around a bit and feel silly. She decided she'd make cupcakes this time; that way she could share with the girls when they came over tomorrow. She wanted tomorrow to be a happy affair and she knew the girls and baby William would help along with that.

From memory, she started in on some basic cupcakes, vanilla with strawberry frosting. She was feeling a bit courageous and decided to cut up pieces of strawberry and mix it in with the batter. She'd even puree some of the fruit to add to the frosting. She always could feel a little bit more excited and upbeat by baking something yummy to be proud of.

She laughed to herself, remembering Mycroft's almost desperate plea to stop bringing confections to work as he was trying so very hard to get fit. He was disappointed, only momentarily though, when she brought him some brownies the next day. She assured him it was a very healthy recipe, using pure cocoa powder, vegetable and fruit purees — black beans and applesauce actually — and only the finest, unsweetened peanut butter to mix in at the end for a delightful ribboned swirl. She tried not to laugh at the twinkle in Mycroft's eye when she assured him it was a healthy option for dessert and he didn't need to torture himself. Upon the first bite, which she practically forced him to take, she saw him suppress his delight. Alas, it was not enough to entice Sherlock's location out of his steel trap of a mind.

Once she finally put the doled out cupcakes in the oven, there was a knock at her door that was completely unexpected. She frowned slightly as Toby rushed the door and began sniffing at the crack, wagging his tail wildly once he recognized a scent. Kairi chuckled and walked to the door, opening it to a surprise.

"Hello love, I've brought some wine and a superhero movie." Lestrade smiled wide and Kairi grinned. "Early birthday present — there's a bunch of handsome men in this one. Though I don't see why you'd need'em with me around." He winked.

Kairi chuckled, "Come on in then." She opened the door fully and Toby gave him a playful growl.

"Watch your tongue, mutt." Lestrade shot back playfully as he walked into her flat to deposit the wine and movie on Kairi's counter. "Come over and give me a kiss then!" He said with open arms and Toby practically slithered his way over with a violently wagging tail, whapping Kairi on the thigh as he went past.

Kairi hissed and rubbed the spot, walking around her counter, "Give me twenty minutes then, until the cupcakes and frosting are done. I'll let them cool and set and we can order in."

She glanced over to Lestrade who was now on the floor with Toby sprawled back against him, belly facing out and his large head resting in the crook of Lestrade's neck as he rubbed his belly and made kissy noises. "Yeah all right," He added absentmindedly and finished his cuddling with Toby, "what do you feel like?"

Kairi pondered this as she added in confectioner's sugar and an appropriate amount of butter and began chopping strawberries to toss in her blender, "Curry?" Lestrade shot her a disinterested face, "Thai?" She added after a bit and he perked up at that and Kairi chuckled.

"I'll phone it in." He smiled and stood while Kairi reached for the menu on her fridge.

"I'll take a number four." She added and he nodded and turned to walk into her bedroom while she began mixing. Toby didn't seem to know who he wanted to be with so he just sat down, alternating between staring at Kairi's noise machine and in the direction of Lestrade perched on Kairi's bed behind glass doors.

Kairi wrapped up the finished frosting in a decorating bag and placed it in the fridge to set for a few hours. She began cleaning up a bit while the cupcakes finished baking and Lestrade made his way out of her bedroom with a smile on his face.

"Want a glass?" He motioned to the wine and she shook her head. "So how are things? Having fun with the kids?"

Kairi smiled as she rinsed out her mixing bowls and loaded them into her dishwasher, "They're lovely. A great distraction from my 'vacation'." She joked and he chuckled with her. "William is a gorgeous baby and so damn cute. I just want to eat his little face."

Lestrade chuckled, looking at her strangely, "Don't tell me you've got that itch?"

Kairi shook her head, "God no! He's adorable, but I still can barely take care of myself. I might just grow old and have a bunch of dogs and be a wretched and lonely maid, shaking my cane at pesky youths who traipse on my property."

Lestrade laughed, "Ah, you'll never be lonely."

Kairi beamed at him and he winked.

The cupcakes were cooling and their food had arrived and they ate quickly, littered with bits of conversation. Anecdotes about idiotic criminals and charming school-aged children were traded amidst laughs and meaningful glances.

Lestrade had been a constant companion of Kairi's for the last six months. As were Mycroft and John of course, and Molly was practically a daily installment, but she wanted to not be scared of men, she wanted to feel comfortable in her own skin around them. They had helped her with that, Lestrade especially.

Lestrade cleaned up their dinner and Kairi pulled out some wine glasses. They moved easily around each other like good friends were wont to do. She poured them both a hefty glass while he went over to turn the movie on. He sat back into Kairi's couch and got comfortable while she walked around to the DVD intro. She handed him his glass and he took it with a thanks and opened his arm to her.

"Would you like to?" He asked her cautiously, indicating her snuggling up in the space of his arms.

Kairi smiled, blushing just slightly, "Yes, I think that'd be nice."

She sat down and leaned into him, curling her legs to her side as she rested her head against his shoulder and chest. Kairi took a second to quell the panic in her chest, but she sunk into him and sipped her wine after a few seconds. He waited and then leaned his head against hers, kissing the top of her hair once she relaxed. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiling gently and allowing her to feel at ease in the moment. The movie began and they sat together, sipping wine and just being comfortable in each other's physical presence. The movie was fun, they laughed and gushed over actors they found attractive. Lestrade would make jokes to see Kairi smile, she'd indulge his stupid humor to make him feel better.

When the movie ended and the wine bottle was finished, Lestrade found a cab home and Kairi allowed herself some rest, curling up with Toby after shedding a few lonely tears.

Tomorrow was her birthday and it would be one whole year since her release from the hospital and Sherlock's disappearance from her life.

* * *

****


	2. 2

Kairi looked on approvingly at her cupcakes. She let them cool overnight and the strawberry buttercream frosting was a perfect consistency for decoration after some hours in the fridge. She swirled on the frosting with a shaky hand, but they ended up looking pretty good. It all looked the same once you shoved the whole thing in your mouth anyway.

She took one out and inspected it closely, she believed it was the prettiest one and so she reached into the nearby junk drawer and pulled out a singular birthday candle. She plopped it into the middle of the cupcake and gave it a satisfied nod. Placing it gently on one of her nicer ceramic plates, she sighed heavily before brushing her hands on her pants and making her way up to 221B.

The place was empty now. With Sherlock gone and John and Molly officially engaged, John had decided to work full-time and he and Molly could afford a very nice flat not too far from Baker Street - but just far enough for it to seem a hassle for  _people_  to show up unexpectedly.

She let herself inside the familiar flat, since it was never locked, and tried desperately not to cry while she took in her other home. It was her birthday, she shouldn't be sad, but it was also  _his_  birthday and she missed him very much. She looked around and sighed, everything looked the same: completely a mess and untouched, like some sort of sad relic of a time before. Well, except the kitchen. It took a while, and possibly a hazmat team, to discover and clean out the terrifying mess of Sherlock Holmes' experiments, but since no one would be living there and Kairi had no desire to spend extra time in 221B — especially with body parts — it all needed to be disposed of. A little smile graced her lips when she thought of how upset he would be to hear of it.

She knew he would be back, he had told her so, but a year was a long time. Who knows what could have happened? Who knows who he would be when he returned? He left changed and he could come back a completely different person. She forced herself to put the cupcake on the table next to his chair and she collapsed in it, with tears brimming in her eyes.

Her thoughts centered on how it could have affected him, how things were so drastically different and painful before he'd gone. Perhaps, while he was away, he decided that loving Kairi was too much of a hassle, too much of a hindrance for this life he led. He was practically a hero, cape and all, and she was a weakness, a blundering mess of a person.

She closed her eyes, fighting against the negative thoughts, pushing herself to focus on the fact that when Sherlock returned, even if he didn't have feelings for her, that it would not be the end. Her life did not hinge upon Sherlock Holmes and if he wanted to be properly removed from her life then she would do so with aplomb. She loved him desperately, but he would not be the end of her. Moran sure as hell wasn't and Sherlock could do no worse to her. No person ever could. She shook her head and wiped away her tears.

For the last year, she had done this on major holidays or anniversaries of importance, she'd make something for him and leave it in the now empty fridge. Today was his birthday too, so she'd leave a cupcake with a single candle. In the next week it would be gone, either by John or Mycroft or Molly or Lestrade or Ms. Hudson, it would be gone.

She always liked to pretend that it was him though.

She swore that he'd been in and out, only when she was not around, keeping his promise to give her space. She hated him for it, but she loved him as well. It was what she needed and she was grateful. The last year had been difficult enough with horrible nightmares only to be assuaged by timely hallucinations of men in long coats or the smell of cigarettes and old books wafting from a shop, she didn't need him close by throwing a wrench in her progress. She needed to get established on her own, feel okay inside her own skin, without Sherlock. What a bore it all was.

She felt better, she really did, but now she was scared of the next development. Sherlock would surely return one day and she'd have to deal with him. It wasn't about her fears of Moran being alive — she'd seen to that. It wasn't about being a killer — justly so. It wasn't about her healing from the rapes and the loss of her family and her fucking debilitating fear of anything that seemed good in her life — she'd done all right with most of that.

Now, it was about Sherlock Holmes and what he would be, who he would be in her life. Their acquaintance and relationship had barely spanned over a year before they had been quite literally thrown to the wolves and torn apart. She didn't know if what they possessed the year before would be strong enough to get through it. She didn't know if it was worth it to try to get past all of what they endured and try to be together. It wasn't about trust or love or friendship, it was about pain.

She was crying again so she gripped the small pendant around her neck, the constant reminder of Sherlock that she couldn't bear to let go. Lestrade had recovered it while searching Moran's house, after she just about had a heart attack in the hospital when she realized Moran had taken it from her. She was never without it now. It meant too much, not just a reminder that Sherlock was real, but a reminder that Moran couldn't have all of her. He was dead. That part of her life was over.

She rid her face of tears and she finally stood, grabbing the cupcake a little too aggressively and putting it in the fridge with an agitated hand. She closed the fridge door and ran from it quickly, fearing her beloved phantom would somehow materialize and chastise her for such a stupid, sentimental effort on a day that was no different from any other.

She had this, the gesture. She just needed to have this moment, a reminder he was real and that for some strange reason he wanted her.

She got back down to her flat and rushed in, not wanting to run into Mrs. Hudson who was sure to lavish her with attention and love. Kairi didn't want love at the moment, she wanted a desperate cry in the shower and a full face of baked goods with her cup of coffee. She ran into her bathroom with Toby trotting lazily behind her and flipped on the fan before she opened the small window and sat on top of her toilet, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her countertop storage and lighting one up. She tried to keep them at home, tried to limit herself most days to one in the morning with coffee and one or two at night depending on her stress level. Most of the time she did just fine, but there were always some days that were worse.

This was such kind of day.

* * *

 

The children arrived in a flurry of excitement. Adam, William, and the girls surprised Kairi by bringing small handmade gifts and party hats and poppers, exploding them in glee when she opened her front door (horribly upsetting the baby who was eventually calmed). Once they came in, the girls brought out their styling kits: one was a hair kit with lots of glittery clips and colored hair extensions; the other was make up, mostly consisting of body glitter, fun tasty lip glosses, and a few press on jewels and fake tattoos. They were setting up shop on Kairi's coffee table, keeping busy with the perfect layout to streamline the make-over process. Adam watched on lovingly, setting up William's things so Kairi wouldn't be bothered. She helped anyway.

"Are you sure this will be all right?" Adam chuckled as the girls circled Kairi and sang Happy Birthday, even lumpy little William squirmed, gurgled, and squealed along in his daddy's arms.

Kairi just laughed and reached out her hands, her heart lighter as fifteen pounds added to her weight by a baby in her arms, "Yes! Honestly, this is the best thing I could be doing."

Adam looked at her a little sadly, smiling only halfway before he leaned in and pecked her on the cheek, "Happy Birthday Kairi."

Kairi smiled, trying to not let herself cry at her brother-in-law's tenderness, "Thank you, Adam. Go on ahead, go traverse the dungeons."

A child-like gleam flashed behind his eyes and his mouth stretched into a wide, boyish smile, "Thanks Kairi!"

She laughed at him as he left, kissing his goodbyes before practically skipping out the door.

The girls were still circling Kairi and giggling as William bounced in her arms without full motor control, so she had to place a hand on his back to make sure he didn't flail out of her grasp.

"All right, lunch first, then makeovers?" Kairi looked down at her sweet nieces who were just positively beaming back up at her. They nodded vigorously and Kairi put together a simple lunch and gave William a bottle.

While William napped in his cot, already very accustomed to ignoring the screams of his sisters, Kairi, Danni, and Julie watched a bunch of Disney films and made each other up, set up like celebrities with stylish hair extensions and classy fake tattoos. For hours, there were tons of laughter and squeals of joy as Kairi braided hair and applied lip gloss. The girls took turns doing Kairi's hair and makeup, helping her feel like a princess on her special day. She had to admit it was the most fun she had in quite some time. Her mind was clear and she didn't feel sad at all.

They shared a few cupcakes and glasses of sparkling cider, laughing together and singing Disney tunes, dancing occasionally to music on Kairi's phone while they whipped their heads too and fro, flinging the colored extensions all around. Quite a few lengthy strips of neon ended up flying in Toby's general direction, which resulted in him scampering away in terror.

After another round of cupcakes and cider and another bottle for William, Kairi flipped on a movie for the girls who were positively exhausted. They lounged on Kairi's couch, munching on popcorn and giggling at the antics of Inspector Clouseau on-screen. William was happily under his play mat, kicking and gurgling and reaching towards hanging toys that jingled and clacked. Kairi sat at her kitchen table and picked up her phone, staring with empty eyes at random internet things, trying to find something to make her giggle. A few photos of celebrities and fan drawings of some of her favorite characters at least put a small smile on her face, but the emptiness was slowly creeping in.

The time was wearing down to when Heather said she'd be coming to get the girls and William. Perhaps she'd call Lestrade and see if he'd want to go out drinking and maybe dancing with her. He'd keep her from feeling miserable, he'd keep her from getting outrageously drunk, and most importantly, he'd dance with her after a few drinks and some subtle coercion. It'd been a long, long time since she'd been out of control on a night out, she had refocused and been able to keep her addictions from getting the better of her. She allowed herself a few nights of frivolity when it would work out, but otherwise kept the drinking and smoking to a minimum.

There was a knock at her door and she stood up, reading a comic on her phone that was successfully making her chuckle. Heather would be very excited to tell her all about how relaxing her day had been. Kairi thought Heather could be so strange sometimes, but it had to happen — they did share some of their genes.

She opened the door chuckling, "Hey." She said without looking up, "The girls are just -,"

Someone cleared their throat.

It wasn't a woman.

Kairi looked up. Everything inside of her instantly vaporized, she was left empty and needing as she stared at the sight in front of her.

Sherlock Holmes was standing in her doorway, looking sheepish for only a second before he straightened and his face became impassive.

She took him in completely, while she had a minor aneurysm. His hair was shorter, cropped on the sides with longer curls on top that seemed to droop down his forehead as was his style. His skin was slightly tanned, rich in color and looking healthy for once. He didn't seem to be missing any teeth or eyelids or nostrils, his face was clean-shaven and still just as handsome as the day he left. He had all of his limbs, at least that she could tell since he was in his signature suit, gloves, and coat, a deep blue scarf around his neck.

Kairi finally remembered to breathe. She looked down and he was holding a single cupcake in his hand. She glanced back up to his eyes and if it were anyone else gazing at him, they would have missed the almost imperceptible smile that ticked across his lips.

"I'm inclined to impose upon you one favor. Perhaps we could eat them toge-,"

Sherlock never got to finish his statement as Kairi flung herself at him. Her mouth connected with his in desperation as her arms flew around his neck. In a very small and totally ignored part of her logical brain, she realized how different he felt against her. He seemed broader as her arms grasped him close. Her bare feet seemed spastic as they sort of climbed their way up his legs so she could wrap her legs around his waist. It took him a good half a second to respond, but he did so ardently. His mouth was like fire against hers and his arms crushed her as he slammed her back against the door. They keened against one another, forgetting to breathe, focusing on nothing but their bodies finally interlocking, despite the despicable clothes between them. The cupcake had fallen to the floor, forgotten, where Toby consumed it with almost equal fervor.

Someone else cleared their throat.

Kairi stopped kissing Sherlock instantly and she felt his lips halt against hers. Her eyes shot open and her heart seemed vacant from her chest, their mouths parting at the absolute last moment as they turned their heads to see Julie kneeling on the couch, smiling wide, and Danni standing by the arm rest, her arms crossed and her foot tapping in an obvious state of disappointment.

Kairi cleared her throat, looking back to Sherlock momentarily as they disengaged. He placed her back on the ground and they stepped apart, adjusting their hair and clothes to appear respectable, as if their parents had just caught them snogging in the backseat of some car. They looked everywhere but at Danni and Julie and each other, trying to come to terms with what they just let happen.

Danni uncrossed her arms as she stomped up to Sherlock and stood right at his feet, glaring up at him with utmost vehemence. She pointed a finger right in his face, or as close as she could get, and actually growled at him, "You have a lot of explaining to do mister!"

Sherlock stared down at her incredulously and as he opened his mouth to reply, she turned sharply, wild colors fanning about in her hair and tattoos of hearts and stars on her arms sparkling as she walked back over to the couch and sat down with arms crossed, looking quite upset. Julie was still just grinning maniacally, sighing dreamily as she looked at both Sherlock and Kairi.

Sherlock's mind was absolutely buzzing, his entire body seemed electrified and he could feel the same coming from Kairi in wild waves. He turned to excuse himself, as she was obviously busy, until he heard a baby cry.

"Oh shit!" Kairi muttered and ran over around the couch, leaving Sherlock stunned.

"Auntie!" Julie hissed.

"Sorry!" Kairi managed to squeak out as she reached for William with shaky hands and brought him to her chest, cradling him gently and bouncing him as she hummed for him. She took a chance to glance back over at Sherlock who seemed frozen in time, with shock plain on his features.

"Is that ou-?" He stumbled forward just slightly and managed to get that out before he had to swallow. He felt like something was choking him as he stared at Kairi, clutching a dark-haired infant with wild wisps unfurling on the crown of its head. He tried to do the mental math, but he was left with a void inside of his mind palace, his only focus on the woman before him holding a baby.

Kairi's eyes widened, absolutely horrified, "H-he's Heather's!" She stammered out a little more shrilly than she intended. She turned away from Sherlock, not desiring to see his reaction to that statement.

When Kairi turned away, Sherlock managed to breathe, a sense of relief and a brief pinch of loss stung in the back of his mind and he exhaled a little too ragged for his own liking, "Oh." It was all he could manage. Again he was in a situation, believing his return would be automatically welcomed and thought humorous. He stared down at his boots, clearing his throat and ignoring the poignant non-look of Danni, and Julie's gleaming eyes pointing in his direction. He wanted to look back up at Kairi, but watching her standing there, holding a child, that for a second, he believed could have been...

"Hello!" Heather said cheerily as she walked through the door, "Oh fuck!" She screamed upon seeing Sherlock.

Sherlock turned, flinching slightly against her shrill shout. He met Heather's eyes, watering and pained as she stared at him. He glanced back at Kairi, who had turned upon her sister's entrance. All of their eyes seemed to be frantically flashing back and forth. No one knew where to look, unsure of what to say, so they just glanced at each other, looking away when eyes accidentally met, and remaining in silence.

"Mooooooom!" Julie groaned, "You dropped an f-bomb in front of William!"

Heather shot her daughter a dark look, "Get your things now!" She practically shouted and the girls hopped to their feet and began collecting their items.

"No." Sherlock rose a hand, finally finding his voice. He looked to Kairi who was still rather far away, holding the small infant against her. She looked so unsure and it was beginning to pain him, "I should be going." He nodded to Heather and her daughters with a tight, forced smile. He walked over to Kairi and stood just a foot away, feeling as if he stepped any further she may just wisp away like smoke between his fingers, "I'll need to debrief with Mycroft. I'll be home tonight and if you are willing, we can talk then."

Kairi could only nod, not bearing to look at him.

Sherlock returned the gesture and turned sharply, leaving the room in haste as if the only evidence of his presence were the whipping of his coat tails as he left the room.

He continued outside and shut the door to 221 Baker Street with more force than necessary. He got to the curb and chewed absent-mindedly on the thumb of his glove as he waved a cab down. Once inside, he instructed the cabbie towards the general vicinity of Mycroft's office and then lost himself inside of his racing thoughts.

"DAMN!" He snarled and lashed out at the door, hitting it with such force the whole cab seemed to shake.

"Oi!" The cabbie growled and looked back at Sherlock who shot him a very ominous glare as he seethed in the backseat. The cabbie's eyes went wide with shock and he adjusted himself slowly, "As you were." He muttered and ignored Sherlock completely.

Sherlock turned inwards again and tried to calm himself. The absolute pure rush of seeing Kairi, standing there within his reach, had caused his entire being to jolt back to life. After the last year, six months on one banal case, actually being a part of the dull "court process" and putting together information for prosecution with barristers and solicitors hounding him for advice, he'd found himself unbearably bored. He'd wanted to jab numerous sharp objects into his ears until his ear drums burst and he was no longer faced with their insipid babble. The second six months spent in a danker sort of litigation that involved no crown recognized court and involved a lot more hands on experience than Sherlock usually tended towards.

He tried to shake loose the thoughts that plagued him. It was done and over. His cases were cleared and he was sure that all of Moriarty's cohorts were successfully behind bars or dead. He wiped a hand down his face, pulling it back up across the slack skin to push curls out of his vision in the way it had become habit. He closed his eyes and finally remembered to breathe.

He focused on Kairi, on how she looked when he returned. Her hair cut short, just tickling against her jaw bones in a sharp bob, and colored a dark russet shade that contrasted with her absolutely flawless pale skin. He took in a sharp breath, fighting against the fierce desire that curled in his gut, remembering just how quickly she had climbed his body to wrap herself around him, just how she had tasted against his mouth, which had seemed deathly parched until her tongue had slid across his lips. He had to bite his own cheek in order to clear his mind once he remembered how it felt to hold her against the door, with her ankles locked at his lower back and her hips curving against him, his hips responding in kind, completely of their own volition. He hissed in distaste, utter hatred for his actions in that moment, not being able to control himself in that mindless splinter of unhindered passion.

He leaned his head against the cool glass, trying to push the heat from his body and his mind before it could consume him and he'd be driven to return to Baker Street and take her completely like he had dreamt of for the past year. It was a dangerous burning inside of him, one that he hoped to quash. He needed to tread lightly in this instance. The woman he had left one year ago was no longer the woman that he had seen only a few moments before.

"Here." The cabby seemed to squeak.

Sherlock glared at him and tossed him some cash, slamming the cab door and stalking down the street with purposeful strides that had people dashing out of his way and calling out curses.

When he finally reached Mycroft's office, he let himself in without preamble and took measured steps to reach the front of his brother's desk, refusing to sit.

"Make it quick,  _brother-mine_." Sherlock spat with disdain.

Mycroft sat, reading his paper, refusing to deign Sherlock with a mere glance. He sighed, "Dear brother, you've gone through a debrief of the official capacity. It was my intent to do so with you in an unofficial manner." He folded his paper with deliberate movements which had Sherlock twitching his fingers in annoyance. "I assume your detox went well?"

Sherlock scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Narcotics have very little effect on me Mycroft. You understood the risk of sending me there in that capacity."

Mycroft placed the paper down, still refusing to grace Sherlock with his stare. He still smiled slightly, "Good to hear brother." He chuckled, "I would be most upset if you'd come back some druggie lowlife — what a disappointment that would be for all of us. Much too  _important_ ," Mycroft laced the word with as much sarcasm as he could muster in a proper way, "\- for the world to lose their most precious asse-," Mycroft finally looked up and his almost gleeful sneer was replaced with a mask of abhorrence, "My god, what is all over your face?!"

"What?" Sherlock growled in utter annoyance.

* * *

 

Sherlock was gone.

He was gone.

_Again._

Kairi didn't realize she was gripping the back of William's onesie until Heather walked up to her slowly and unfurled her tight fingers. She gasped in a breath and looked back to Heather who was obviously concerned.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I didn't hurt him, did I?" Kairi's voice was shaking as she handed over William.

Heather shook her head and smiled at her sister, "No he's fine, you didn't hurt him."

Kairi breathed a sigh, her muscles finally unfurling from the tension she felt. She then crumbled slowly to her knees and onto her backside in a huff as her heart hammered away at her ribcage.

Heather clicked her tongue at her daughters, "Grab his mat, you'll be playing in Auntie Kairi's room with William."

"Mom!" Julie whined.

Heather gave her a stern look, "Absolutely not, you will take care of your siblings and let me talk to my sister in privacy."

Julie sort of slumped and grabbed William's mat and Danni's hand and followed her mother into Kairi's bedroom. Heather shut the door and walked back over to where Kairi sat heaped on the floor, to help her stand and make her way over to her kitchen table to pull out a chair.

Kairi slumped in the seat, placing her elbows on the table top and putting her face into her hands, all the while trying to remember how to breathe. Her mind was racing and empty at the same time, she couldn't formulate a cogent thought that didn't revolve around one simple phrase:  _he's come back._

When her mind stopped spinning, she looked up at her sister who sat at the table with two tumblers and a bottle of Kairi's favorite whiskey.

"I can't drink, he's coming back!" Kairi said frantically.

Heather chuckled, "First of all, he wont be back for ages, until he knows for sure we're gone. Second, you need to calm the hell down before you have a full-blown panic attack." She poured two fingers of whiskey into each glass and sat down next to her sister, "Third, what in God's name is all over your face?"

Kairi's eyes shot open wide and she leaped up, running towards her entry way to look in the small mirror. She let out a woeful groan and thumped her head against the wall. When she pulled back there was a patch of pigment and glitter where her face had collided with the surface.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Each one escalated until the last came out in a scream and she punched the wall, instantly regretting it as she pulled her hand into her stomach and held her breath against the pain. "FRICK!" She shouted and stomped her foot.

Kairi turned slowly and her eyes rested on Heather who was sipping her whiskey and trying not to laugh.

"Don't laugh at me! Stop laughing at me!" Kairi spat, absolutely livid as she stomped back over to the table and threw back the whiskey in one gulp. With a groan she sat down hard on her chair, ignoring the burning in her chest, "I look like a Ke$ha video threw up on me." She let out a pitiful whine, "I haven't seen him in a year and he comes back on my birthday and I look like someone tarred and feathered me with purple and green spackle and glitter! I look like a tart! A crazy fucking tart!" Kairi sighed heavily and with a dramatic groan, her forehead collided with her table top, "How is this my life!?" She yelled against the wood.

Heather didn't stop her laughs this time, "I don't know." She shook her head and then reached out to rub the back of Kairi's head, patterned with long lengths of neon colored fake hair peaking from her brown locks. "I hope he didn't have anyplace important to go." She managed to snigger.

Kairi shot up and looked up at Heather in horror, "Oh my god, I couldn't even look at him, I was sure I was hallucinating it all." Kairi put her face in her hands again.

"He looked like he made out with a craft store." Heather began laughing, clamping a hand over her mouth and Kairi just groaned in response.

"Oh my god, this can't be happening. This isn't real life. Things like this don't happen in real life." Kairi muttered to herself and then pushed her empty tumbler towards her sister. "Please let me have one more and then hide it. I want to crawl inside and hide, but I can't be tanked when he comes back."

Heather chuckled and poured her a slightly more generous cup and Kairi sipped it this time with her eyes shut tightly. She listened as Heather made a bunch of obnoxious noises, opening and closing random doors, humming pointedly as she hid the bottle of whiskey from her sister. "Ok, hidden." She said sitting down and sipping her drink. "What are you going to do?"

Kairi shook her head, feeling giddy and sick all at the same time, "I'm going to shower and smoke a thousand fucking cigarettes."

Heather snorted, "Just don't do it at the same time."

Kairi chuckled slightly, "God damnit, was it really all over him?"

Heather nodded.

"Shit." Kairi hissed, "He's going to talk to my boss, his  _brother_. What a fucking nightmare!"

Heather just continued chuckling, "I'm really sorry I'm laughing so much. It's either this or crying."

Kairi snorted at that and looked at her sister, "God, this is actually happening."

Heather nodded, "Yes it is. Are you ready for it?" She reached out a hand and took Kairi's free one.

Kairi looked concerned, "I don't know. I honestly don't. When I saw him, I just -," And she froze, looking back to her bedroom where her nieces were playing, "Fuck, I'm so sorry! I practically attacked him in front of the girls!" She felt like she was going to cry and if she started, she may never stop, "Oh god!"

Heather just laughed it off, "In all honesty, as long as clothes weren't shed, I'm not going to be mad. This is a circumstance no one could have possibly predicted and I'll talk with them about it. Just try not to climb him like a stripper pole the next time he comes over if the girls are present."

Kairi shook her head again, as if it would rid her of the shame and the absolute glee pulsing through her, "How could you possibly know I jumped on him?"

Heather laughed, "When I say he looked like he made out with a craft store, I should have also implied some heavy petting and dry humping in there. Glitter was  _everywhere_."

Kairi couldn't hold in the laughter this time and it just burst out, taking tension and horror and happiness with it, "Nomygod!" She squealed and put a hand over her mouth trying to contain the hysteria she felt. "Oh god, I'm so sorry."

Heather laughed and tossed back the remainder of her whiskey, "God, that's sick." She stared at the offending empty glass and looked back at Kairi who was now thoughtfully staring down into her tumbler, swirling the amber liquid. "You need to do some thinking and some breathing. Maybe you should call someone to talk to?"

Kairi shook her head anxiously, "I can try Dr. Sherman, but we haven't reached the topic of Sherlock yet. We've been working through my mountain of shit and it's just never come up." She felt a bit dizzy, she really needed to stop shaking her head.

Heather smiled, "Kairi, I don't think you could ever be prepared for him to come back, but he's here."

Kairi nodded, "I know." She sighed, "God, I know."

Heather sighed as well and patted her sister on the hand, "It will be okay. You both just need to find each other again."

Kairi felt like the dam was breaking, like her heart was flooding, she couldn't breathe. All of the things she needed to tell him, to talk to him about, all of it was overwhelming her, blacking out her vision until it was mere pinpoints.

"Kairi, breathe." Heather stood and approached her sister and held Kairi's face in her hands, "Just breathe. You needed to heal. You needed space. He knew that, so he left. He left for you and he probably left for himself too. Remember these things. What you went through, that's all over, it's dead and burned and buried." Heather's voice was stern as she searched her sister's lost eyes, "Do you love him?"

Kairi nodded, "So much it hurts." She whispered.

"Let it hurt, it's going to. Loving him won't be a bad thing, Kairi," Heather smiled reassuringly when she saw her sister's face begin to crumble under the weight of her tears, "Loving him is not going to end you, but if you hide from it, if you run away without giving it a chance, it will tear at you, it will eat you alive." She kissed Kairi on the forehead, "Kairi don't run from this, for once in your life, don't run."

Kairi finally sobbed and Heather pulled her tightly against her chest and held her. Kairi felt herself dissolving in this moment, her bones became liquid and her insides turned to fire. Atoms were warring against each other, screaming for her to run away and begging her not to leave.

She was terrified, absolutely, stone cold terrified of finally letting herself really love Sherlock Holmes. At this point in her life, she had nothing inside of her strong enough to be a barrier anymore. She had fought for the past year towards healing, towards pulling down all these walls meant to protect her. She had come so far across the torrid wasteland of her soul, to a point where she stood among the smoldering ashes of her insides and stared at this barren place, ready for rebuilding.

She was raw and new and absolutely terrified of happiness.

"Kairi..." Heather murmured sweetly and kissed the top of her sister's head, "I love you. God..." She whispered against her sister's hair, "Just please, let yourself be loved."

Kairi shook against her sister and began to steady her breathing. She tried to bring herself back into this real world where she was covered in glitter and fake tattoos. She almost let herself laugh but it came out as more of a wretched sort of sob, so she swallowed it and went back to just breathing. She pulled away from her sister slowly, who looked down at her lovingly and just smiled.

She glanced at Heather's now damp and probably ruined shirt, "Oh Jesus, Adam's gonna think you went to the strip club before picking up the kids."

Heather just laughed, "That's fine." She smoothed her sister's hair away from her face and just smiled, "It'll be okay."

Kairi nodded and hugged her sister one last time. "Let me get you a different shirt." She managed to chuckle.

They walked over to Kairi's bedroom and joined the children who ignored Kairi's mess of a face that they had worked so hard on. They didn't know what happened, but they knew that their auntie was hurting. They knew Kairi's state wasn't  _because_  of Sherlock, but they knew it had something to do with him. Danni was, of course, a little more impetuous, riled at Sherlock because she just knew that merely saying his name made her auntie sad. Julie, who was a little more imaginative and could recite a lot of Disney movies and musicals about forlorn love by heart, knew that her auntie was hurting. She assumed that Kairi and Sherlock probably needed a few good musical numbers before they would be okay and love would save the day.

They exchanged some clothing and the girls helped Kairi get the hair additions out while Heather fed William, who was still in high spirits. Danni and Julie helped their mother pack up their bags and clean up Kairi's flat to a state of previous disorder. Once things they contained the damage of Hurricane Children, Heather was making her excuses to leave.

Danni hugged her auntie, "Tell him no amount of sorries will get him out of trouble." Kairi chuckled and patted Danni on the back, "Don't let him back out of Disneyland or else he'll have to deal with me." She muttered into her aunt's stomach and Kairi bit her lip to contain her laughter.

"It will be okay Danni. We both have things to apologize for." Kairi smiled and kissed Danni on the cheek before she moved and made room for Julie.

"Everything is going to be okay, wont it?" Julie muttered with her arms around Kairi's neck when she knelt to meet the child's embrace.

Kairi nodded and kissed Julie's cheek, "Everything will be fine. Sometimes we just go through hard things and it takes time to heal."

Julie nodded and then pulled back to glance at her mother who was busying herself with organizing their items. She turned back to Kairi and shoved something into her hands, "Put it in your pocket, look at it after we go." She whispered and kissed her auntie on the cheek. Kairi just nodded, a bit confused.

Kairi hastily followed orders and then walked the family out the curb, giving a few last-minute kisses as they loaded up the cab. Kairi wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly in the evening air, so she turned quickly and went back into her home where Toby was fast asleep next to the fireplace. She rolled her eyes at the absurd laziness of that animal and then made her way into her bathroom with her glass of whiskey to grab her cigarettes and the lighter Sherlock had gotten her what seemed like a lifetime ago.

She went to the steps of Baker Street and lit up her first of, what felt like would be many, cigarettes as she sipped her whiskey. She tried not to think too much as she didn't want to put any assumptions on how the night would unfold. She didn't want to have expectations to be crushed, but she also refused to shroud herself in self-doubt and negativity. She was just trying to let herself feel happy that Sherlock was finally home and she would ultimately be able to figure out this gigantic hole in her life.

Three cigarettes and a scratchy throat later, she finished her glass of whiskey and made her way back into her home where Toby was still asleep. She scoffed and then heard his tail thumping against the wooden floor and it made her laugh while she walked into her bedroom to undress and get her shower started. She felt something jumble in her pocket and remembered Julie hastily shoving something into her hands, she pulled it out to investigate what had made her niece so secretive. In her hands was a small tube with a hastily written note wrapped around it.

In the scrawl of a young child, she read,  _You should keep it, I think he liked it._

It was a tube of lip gloss from their make up kit, strawberry-melon flavored. Kairi couldn't hold in her laughter and she crumpled to the floor in a fit of giggles, letting her hysteria seep out. When she could steadily stand, she placed the lip gloss on her night table and went to shower.

She stayed in the spray for at least thirty minutes and scrubbed herself raw, ridding herself of most of the odious glitter that clung to her skin and the tattoos that were brand new only a few hours before. She shaved and cleaned up, not expecting anything special tonight, but doing so out of habit — actually, she would out right refuse any hint at something sexual happening tonight, she wasn't ready for that. She was desperate for it, but she wasn't ready for it. She knew that.

When she emerged from her shower, wrapped in a heavy robe and a towel perched on her head, she felt much better. Most of her anxiety was gone and replaced by a very gentle buzz from the nicotine and alcohol combating each other for dominance in her addled system. She brushed her teeth and blow dried her hair halfway, letting the remainder dry in its natural waves that tickled the bottom of her jaw. She sighed heavily, looking at her make up bag and resigning to put it away.

She would listen to Heather, she would not hide. Not from him.

She went to her room and disrobed, looking into her closet for something acceptable to wear. He would of course be in his full suit, dressed impeccably. She was never very well versed in matching his level of fanciness so she just decided on a simple dress made of a thick jersey cotton with long, comfortable sleeves and a drooping neckline. The last thing she needed was to feel like she was being choked by her own clothes.

However, she needed very good reasons to fight getting undressed. She glanced back at her closet and wondered if she should wear the mother of all chastity belts, her button fly jeans. She could barely persuade herself to unbutton them to go to the bathroom, surely they would hinder her enough to deny herself sex. She frowned in their direction, knowing that Sherlock would probably make a deduction of her desperation and laugh at her, so she elected to ignore that idea. She'd wear the dress and some leggings. It would be subtle enough, but not over doing it. She would be comfortable, but covered enough to remain pleasant if a fire was lit. A hasty thought made her glance at her night stand and she reached for the tube of gloss and rolled it on, trying not to giggle.

She sighed heavily and glanced at her clock. Sherlock would be back by now. He probably would have returned while Kairi was in the shower. He would wait for her. He always said he would.

She slipped on some moccasins and called after Toby who rose from his slumber with the most ungainly sort of hectic movements that she giggled outright. When she opened her door, her breath caught in her chest when she heard the violin music cascading down the stair case.

How many nights had she dreamt of that music?

The song was somber and slow and it tore at her heart as she climbed the stairs with unsteady limbs, gripping the balustrade for dear life. As she took on the last few steps she had to close her eyes and force herself to breathe.

He was real.

He was here.

Sherlock.  _Home_.

She took another step and the boards creaked beneath her and she grimaced as the music stopped for only a beat and she paused as well, not knowing what to do. When the music continued, she exhaled the breath she was inadvertently holding in and climbed the final ascent.

Her hand was on the doorknob and she tried to calm her shaking limbs as she turned it slowly and pushed the door open.

She froze, her breath catching in her chest as she stared at his back. He was bigger now, though the last time she had seen him was in the throes of her case, and he never did look well during a tenuous case. He was thinner then, yet still his wiry, coiled self, but now, he seemed to fill up the room further, arms thicker and shoulders more pronounced. The lithe cat that had left her had returned a panther, all black and sleek and predatory, silhouetted by the light of the streets filtering in as the glow from the fireplace licked at the back of his black suit.

She sighed, trying not to laugh or cry or scream at him.

"Mr. Holmes." She said softly, a smile on her lips that she didn't dare fight. He paused his playing, taking deliberate time to place his instrument where it belonged. In all honesty, it felt as if he never left. The home that seemed so empty and lifeless during his absence appeared full of life, resurrected by the mere presence of the man before her.

He turned to face her, short curls falling across his forehead. She saw him and she could tell, she could still read him, he was trying so hard to be contained.

A small smile toyed with his lips, he was trying to fight it off it seemed, as he looked up at her finally and said in the deep tone Kairi fantasized about, "Ms. Aria."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> 
> *sings* reunited and it feeeeeels so gooooooooood....
> 
> What did you think my beloveds?! We obviously have much more coming in the next chapter, a full course of 7,000 or so words to eat up and I promise it'll be interesting... 
> 
> I'll say it now, I'm taking Sherlock into a realm that is widely unknown, so going OOC might happen, but I'm VERY MUCH TRYING to keep him in the frame of what I see as SHERLOCK HOLMES (and anyone who has spoken to me knows just how seriously I take it). The fact that he's romantically involved with someone in the first place is a weighty and unlikely thing to deal with, but with what him and Kairi went through on top of it......WOOOOOSH, that's a lot for any character and I truly hope to portray them both well through this ordeal. THERE IS A LOT THAT WILL BE HAPPENING BECAUSE LIFE IS COMPLICATED AND EMOTIONS ARE HARD...So before you decide you hate me or my characters or whatever, give them a chance to go through what they've been going through with each other... This will be another long-ish story (though I doubt it'll last 40+ chapters like the last one...unless you want it to?) and they have much to go through... A year apart is a LONG TIME - especially for someone dealing with trauma.
> 
> Please let me know what you are thinking!
> 
> ALSO: I'd like to know when the best time for posting is for my readers. I have plans for one per weekend and if I finish the story early I might speed it up (but I'm not that far ahead so don't get your hopes up yet). Do weekends work ok for all of you?
> 
> I love you my dear Holmies, I hope this is up to par so far :D (that rhymed, ignore me...)


	3. 3

"Ms. Aria."

His voice was just as smooth as it had ever been, all silk and sin that caressed her senses. She had missed this, this odd aura that surrounded him, laced with pleasure and mischief and child-like wonder. Toby waggled himself through the door behind Kairi and made his way over to Sherlock with bounding steps.

She saw Sherlock smile then, kneeling to pet Toby and rub his fingers along the dog's jowls and scratch behind his ears. It hurt Kairi to see him be so affectionate towards Toby when he had always given Appa such a cold reception. She was frowning when Sherlock looked back up at her with a wide grin on his face. The grin was beautiful and unfiltered, a rare one she had been lucky to see only a few times during their previous encounters. Though today, it stung her.

He noticed her frown quickly and stood, clearing his throat and straightening to a more regal posture while Toby trotted away to sniff around the flat. Kairi was slightly irritated at him now, and then she was upset with the fact that after an entire year of them being apart, of so many nights wishing she'd wake up to him, she was pissed at him over a dog — even if the dog had been her very best friend. It seemed childish, but she couldn't help it. Everything in this moment was raw and confusing. She didn't know how to rein it all in and process it.

He cleared his throat again and motioned towards the chairs, John's red patterned and Sherlock's black leather still facing one another just outside the fire's glow. "Please..." He left his invitation unfinished, looking terribly uncomfortable.

Kairi nodded and sat in John's chair, hugging the Union Jack pillow as she got situated, with her legs bunched beneath her. It was a defensive posture that Sherlock was sure to notice and comment on. She watched him carefully as he moved through his steps with perfection and grace. He moved like a specter, flowing, yet deliberate, always with purpose and delight.

He sat in his usual manner, his back rigid and his face emotionless as he looked at her. They stayed in silence for a few moments, Kairi refusing to hide her frown and Sherlock desperately trying to maintain control of the situation in his stoic way. A full year apart had left them both so very unsure. Interactions usually filled with stubborn, fiery, and impassioned actions now seemed too foreign. It felt like a lifetime since they were both in front of one another. Since their parting, they had each become a fantastical obsession to the other; something that you wanted so badly, despite the fact that if you got your hands on it, you'd have no idea what to do with it. This moment could never be so perfectly described as two children faced with their wildest dreams and staring back in utter vacillation.

After a few minutes of tense silence, Sherlock finally sighed, "I know you are upset about Toby."

Kairi raised an eyebrow at him and replied, a little bit snitty, "Do you?"

He shot her a dark look, because of her tone, but responded anyway, "You're upset with me because I showed the animal affection, despite how cold I was to your previous pet." Kairi glared at him and he tried not to smile. The familiar crinkle of her nose and the narrowing of her eyes, her body curled around a cushion like a child having a fit. Just looking at her brought back memories that he'd displaced many months ago. Like most everyone he met, her anger was amusing, but to him, he felt it oddly resonate in his chest. He thought it was  _endearing_.

He shook his head, refocusing on the fact that she was actually cross with him and deduced her easily, like always, "It is not that I disliked Appa. He was a decent and well-mannered beast, far more likable than any other creature I've come to know since childhood. I refrained from forming an attachment to him because that is what I do." He leveled her with a narrowed stare that seemed to make Kairi cringe inwardly, he sighed at his own impudence and continued, "It is not in my nature to attach myself to meaningless things: people, items, and pets." He waved his hand at the aforementioned, watching as Kairi seemed to stiffen again, anger no doubt bubbling because of the implication of Appa being meaningless, "However," He added with a weighty voice, "Much has changed within the last ten or so years of my life and I've come to regret that I was not as  _friendly_  to an animal who was so clearly deserving of your adoration."

Kairi blinked at him several times and tried to process just what he was implying. "I don't-," Kairi began, but the words wouldn't really formulate. She felt like everything was moving in slow motion, like her mind was sunk in a puddle of syrup. She was still just gushing over the fact that Sherlock was sitting in front of her, staring at her, talking about pets, and she wasn't completely imagining it.

Sherlock rolled his eyes at her slowness, "Upon the death of Appa, among other things, I decided to reform myself in some aspects. I regret it now, not showing him the appropriate amount of sentiment that he deserved. You obviously hold a great deal of meaning for your animals. I've come to understand I should be more respectful of what certain people deem important. In the end-," he cleared his throat, "-he died for you..." Sherlock left off the last part of the statement, the one that echoed in his mind,  _As I would have._

This divulgence, no matter how true, still struck him deeply. He was not a man of half measures and when he deliberately decided to place meaning upon a person, it was to its fullest extent. John, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, all of them had taken up residence in his mind palace for their particular importance. Now there was Kairi, struggling for purchase in his thoughts, fighting off the last year's worth of effort to shut her out.

Kairi's eyes widened again and she took in a deep breath, "Oh." She managed. She took a moment to stare at the fire and let herself uncoil from her tense position. She tried to relax the arms and legs that were held tightly against her body. She leaned on the arm rest as she watched the flames dance inside the stone hearth, allowing her mind to wander. So much was going unsaid, so many things that she didn't know or understand. All of her fears were viciously prattling in her mind. With another exhale, she looked over to Sherlock who was still sitting, still unmoving, and staring right at her.

She let out a little nervous laugh, watching his eyes flick over her, taking in every centimeter, "I see you showered." She nodded towards him, indicating that the glitter and pigment from her nieces' make up was now gone.

Sherlock grinned slightly, "Yes, I didn't realize that you would have been done up in such a manner. I failed to recognize that you may have been with company when I formulated my plan to surprise you."

Kairi smiled, "Well, surprise me you did. That's for sure." She finished with a rueful laugh. "I'm sorry about, you know, erm, jumping you."

Sherlock let out a tiny chuckle, "No matter." He grinned as he sat forward, watching her annoyance for that phrase taint her features, "Yes, I suppose I should apologize or something as well."

Kairi replied with her own giggle, "Yeah, or something." She rolled her eyes at him and then looked back to his face. It was softer now and he seemed relaxed. Teasing each other was always something they could fall back on if intimacy was displaced. They could always rile a response out of one another, prodding each other until one of them finally broke through the stubbornness. After a few beats of silence and staring at one another in a challenging way, Kairi realized that she needed to be the one to reach out. There was so much vulnerability that they were ignoring. He had left for her sake and he wouldn't truly return, not the emotional part, until she took the first step.

She sighed heavily and sat back, admitting defeat, resigning to fate, "I missed you." She admitted in an almost bitter whisper.

Sherlock nodded slowly, his brow creasing as he looked away from her. After a few tortuous beats of silence, he finally replied, "And I, you." He said with a soft and serious voice, gazing at the fire. "It was unfortunate that in my time away, I was forced to place you out of my mind in order to focus." His eyes were still centered on the flames, reflecting the turbulent thoughts that plagued his mind.

She smiled at that. To him, her being a distraction was a compliment, "Did it work?"

He returned his glare to her, with eyes darkened in a serious air of annoyance and something else, "Hardly." He growled, a tone low and sensuous despite the annoyance on his face. He then cleared his throat, shifting in his seat to appear more flippant.

Kairi blushed wildly, the tone sending a spike through her system that pulled her back into a time before Moran, before Sherlock's absence, when sex with him was something she felt could sustain her indefinitely. She managed a weak chuckle, trying to dispel tension as she put her feet to the floor and sat up straight with Sherlock's eyes still on her.

She smiled tenderly at him, "So your work, did it go well?"

He chuckled at her meager attempts at small talk, "Yes, it went fine. It was a case of diplomatic importance. Not greatly stimulating, if I must admit." His voice reflected his earnest boredom for the matter.

"So it  _was_  a punishment." Kairi joked.

Sherlock seemed to take in a deep breath, "In a way, yes, it was."

She looked at him sadly then, "That's not what I wanted. I didn't want to punish you. You did nothing wrong."

Sherlock nodded in response, pressing steepled fingers to his lips as he closed his eyes, absorbing her voice and letting it echo in his mind. "Yes, I understand. You needed space and time that I could not give you if I were here." His eyes remained closed, "You don't need to regret that decision. I had certain...needs in the end that this case helped manage."

The guilt Kairi was feeling suddenly dissipated. She looked at him oddly now, cocking her head to the side and then becoming distracted when Toby shuffled into the room and plopped down in front of the fireplace with a dramatic huff.

Sherlock opened his eyes and focused on the animal shuffling about, trying to get comfortable on the floor. He spoke up again, bringing her back into the moment, "Has he been satisfactory?"

Kairi smiled wryly, "Yes, but you're not getting out of that so easily. What  _needs_  are you talking about?"

Sherlock sighed and dropped his arms to the sides of his chair, crossing his legs delicately and glaring at Kairi, "Perceptive." He reproached her.

She smiled in her bright way and touched her nose on the side with a single finger and Sherlock couldn't fight the smirk that appeared on his lips.

"I discussed these things with Dr. Sherman." Sherlock exhaled, "Did he not discuss them with you?"

Kairi's eyes widened, "No! I never asked him about you." She added nervously, twirling a strand of her short hair between her fingers, "I figured, eventually, if you wanted to..." She let the statement trail off while she thought, "Wait! Does that mean...?"

Sherlock chuckled and shook his head, "No, he did not disclose information about you to me." He grumbled, "Despite my best efforts."

Kairi rose an eyebrow again, "You were spying on me."

He trained his grin back on her, a sparkle in his eyes caused by the firelight that made him look utterly mischievous and delectable, "No more than you spied on me." He tried not to smile, patronizing her, "Bribing Mycroft with sweets, now?"

Kairi huffed at his tone and glared at him, "You were God knows where, I just wanted to know if you were alive!"

He raised his hands gently, as if to showcase himself and gave her a coy grin, "As you can see, I am."

Kairi rolled her eyes and stood, stomping off to the kitchen for need of something. She wanted coffee or tea or whiskey, but the kitchen was empty. She cursed to herself and ran a hand through her hair, frustration and desperation flowing through her at rapid speeds. She heard him approaching behind her and she curled in on herself, fighting the violent urges to throw herself at him again.

She felt him there, at her back. He wasn't touching her, not even close enough to feel his breath on her neck, but she could sense him. His presence enveloped her and it caused her body to react in very unladylike fashions. She wanted to punch him, she wanted to kiss him, she even wanted to throw him on the table and ravish him completely. All in all, the process of their rekindling could be completed within a few volatile minutes of yelling and make up sex. She shook her head to clear those thoughts from her mind, she wouldn't let herself escape from this. She needed to face him, she needed to face what they went through, what they were to each other.

"What was it I said to upset you?" He finally spoke, his voice soft and tenuous.

Kairi turned, leaning back on the counter, putting further space between them, her hands gripping the edges of the cold surface. She didn't want to look at him, there were so many warring emotions that she could not control. The entire experience was overwhelming and it was taking every ounce of her consciousness not to just explode with all the possible feelings that were welling up inside of her. It would leave him horribly confused.

"I was just worried, Sherlock. I wanted you to be okay. I wanted you to be here. I wanted you to be on Mars." She allowed herself a rueful chuckle, "Every single day I prayed for you to come back, every single day I revoked that prayer and wished for you to stay away. I never stopped wanting you here, ever, but I couldn't exactly find the strength to face you if you had returned." She admitted softly and hazarded a glance at him. He was frowning, "It was a very difficult time for me, very confusing."

"Was Dr. Sherman not accommodating?" He muttered, pushing his hands into his pockets to keep himself from reaching out to her.

Kairi nodded and chuckled, "He is extremely accommodating Sherlock. I was a mess, an absolute fucking mess. He's helped me greatly with all of the things I went through, what we went through." She sighed again and dropped her eyes to her shoes, seeing Sherlock's feet edge just slightly closer. She tried not to smile, she was fighting the same urge to throw herself at him, "I couldn't talk about you much yet. I couldn't even process how to  _begin_  talking about you." The smile was gone and dread was gripping her chest, "I am terrified of you, Sherlock Holmes."

His toes almost touched hers now and she could feel the warmth of him curl around her, "Why?"

She shook slightly and looked up at him, "Because I still love you, after all that happened, I still love you. People usually fall apart after things like this, but somehow I didn't — I mean, I guess I did fall apart, but my love for you didn't change." She sighed heavily, "I can't even begin to tell you how much I care about you, Sherlock. I've never been good with relationships, with people in general! But with you it just seems...comfortable. Right." She closed her eyes and shook her head with her heart pounding in her chest, "I'm not going to try to stop it anymore, not unless..." She swallowed the words, she didn't want them out in the open. Once they passed her lips, she couldn't take them back.

"Unless?" His voice was almost a whisper. His hand reached out and he put a knuckle under her chin and with a rueful smile, he forced her face to meet his gaze. Her eyes were still closed and the muscles of her face were tense, fraught with her desire to hide. He laughed at her gently, "Unless?" He urged.

She sighed testily and opened her eyes, meeting Sherlock's gaze which was soft and open and nebulous, consuming her wholly. With a very small voice, which was stronger than how she felt on the inside, she finally admitted her fear, "Unless you don't want me."

Sherlock gave her a pained smile as he listened to those words _._ The nights he had spent imagining his time with her were practically all that kept him sane during his months away. It was the only thing that kept his rage bearable. Despite his desperate efforts to appear unattached and stoic, he had dreamt of her often, tasted her lips on a rare cigarette. He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed, "I'll say it again..." His voice was tender, full of need.

Kairi looked up at him, watching his features morph in front of her. He seemed confused and lost and unsure. Where was Sherlock Holmes? What had she done to him? Her stomach lurched and she felt a sob welling in her chest, fighting against the tightness of the anxiety crushing her lungs.

"Tell me that I may hold you." He finished in a whisper and she let out a shuddering breath that Sherlock felt deep in his gut. She nodded slowly and he reached out, hesitantly. He pulled her towards him, her body shaking and unsure until she pressed against his chest and melted against him.

In that moment, she felt a comfort within his arms that she had been searching for all of her life. She let out a sob as his arms enveloped her and she was surrounded by his scent and his warmth. He held her closely, almost suffocating her, but she didn't care, she wanted to mold to him, to latch onto him with a blinding intensity. All of her emotions, everything she had tucked away during his absence pulsed through her veins and she wanted nothing more than to love him fully. She didn't want to be half-cocked and scared for the rest of her life. She wanted to throw herself into her love for him and ignore the tenuous proposition of the future and what tomorrow would hold.

After her tears subsided and they held each other in the kitchen for what could have been hours, she finally exhaled her last shaky breath within his arms, focusing on the sound of his breathing, whirling within his chest, the sound of his heart beat, echoing in the chambers of her mind. He was real, he was there, and he wanted her.

He felt her arms shift, moving around his midsection to squeeze him tightly, her eyes were most likely shut storing away sensations, in the child-like way that she used to hold him. Sherlock had to admit that it soothed him greatly. Finally having her this way: feeling her skin against his finger tips and her soft body folding into his, it was perfection. A flint sparked within the darkness of his mind, one that had been so bland because of the clean and cold logical madness that consumed him this last year. Kairi held another piece of him entirely, she pulled from him a warmth that he could not quite muster for anyone else.

She sighed against him, breaking their reverie and finally admitted to herself that she needed to be honest, that she had tell him the truth of the last year of his absence, "Sherlock." She said quietly and he hummed his recognition, "I'll need to take it slow with you. I'm still..." She paused, trying to formulate just how she felt in her mind, "It's different with you, the way you make me feel. It's intense and it's difficult to process. I need some time to reintegrate you into my life. I haven't..." She lost the words as they formed in her mouth.

He tutted at her and she chuckled against him, "I understand and I will do my best to respect your wishes. It's been a long year without you and I'll admit, my desire for you has not weakened in the slightest." She hummed against him, "What was it you said during the holidays?  _Absence make the heart grow fonder_?"

She snorted in his arms and then pulled back, looking up at him with a bright smile, "Yes. Do you think it's rubbish now?"

He allowed a curt laugh at that, "Perhaps it holds a bit more weight since I was able to collect data on the matter."

She gave him a coy grin, " _Data_? What's that then? Dirty tissues hidden in your trash can in the confines of your secret spy room? Hidden bottles of Jergen's under your bed?"

He gave her a sharp glare at the implication, "I have impeccable self-control."

Kairi pursed her lips, trying not to smile at his ire, "Only because you were halfway around the world."

Sherlock rose an eyebrow and brought his hand to her face, bringing her eyes to his so he could take her in. He would not deny the absolute need that pulsed through his veins as his fingertips played across the softness of her features, memorizing them all over again. He had been absent from her for so long and his desire was practically vibrating through him. He felt his jaw clench as he watched her pupils dilate and her breath hitch when their eyes met. His stomach stirred, like plates of molten fire shifting beneath his skin.

He smiled with a slightly sinister tilt, watching her tongue sneak out slowly to lick her bottom lip, "May I kiss you?" His voice was husky and his throat tight.

Kairi seemed to shake in his arms, staring into his eyes, looking almost scared and so very desperate. She glanced down to his lips and he smirked as he observed her. She nodded, hesitantly, and he leaned forward, keeping his eyes on her until he pressed his mouth against hers and the air seemed to erupt into pure heat.

There was nothing in the universe that could halt the moan that escaped Kairi's lips.

Hearing that noise ignited something furious within Sherlock. In an instant, as if it were never walled up within his mind palace, his senses were flooded by Kairi: her touch, her scent, her taste, it was maddening. His grip tightened around her and she seemed to whimper in his arms. The last thing he wanted to do was let her go, but he did. With great shame, he watched as Kairi pushed him away and stalked out of the kitchen with her hand on her lips, her features screwed up in a grimace. He followed her slowly, containing all of whatever was happening inside of his body behind the cold wall of his impassive features. He could contain it, he  _would_  contain it.

She was facing his bookshelves, on the other side of the room with one arm wrapped around her stomach and the other, most likely pressing into her mouth, containing her sobs as her body shook frantically. He looked down at his feet as they moved towards her without his permission. He stopped by John's chair, frozen with guilt — an emotion he was not greatly acquainted with prior to Sebastian Moran's presence in their lives. He wanted to say something, to apologize, to pull her out of wherever she was that made her uncomfortable and ashamed. He remembered that look, a cowering, frail woman afraid of everything around her. The last thing he wanted on this earth was for her to fear him.

He was brought out of his reeling mind by the sound of her voice, but he was so focused on his own thoughts, he didn't register what she had muttered, "Pardon?" He said looking up at her, worried that his own voice would betray him. He wanted her, needed her. It was an overwhelming sensation that surged through him and clouded his mind. She finally turned to face him, her hands dropping to her sides, fisted tightly. He would have thought that Kairi was angry, she was so stiff as she looked at him, determined. His heart seemed to falter. He feared that she would reprimand him for his untoward display.

"Again." She stated with more fire, insisting it upon him with a ferocity in her eyes that Sherlock could not deny.

He stalked over to her with purposeful strides and she reached out to him. As his hands seized her waist, her fingers dove into his hair and their lips met with a symphony of hormones rushing through their veins. In a flurry of movement, they pulled each other closer, opening their mouths and losing all logical thought to their pent up desire.

Kairi moaned against him, grasping the cropped hair in her fists as much as she could. She was alight with passion, a furious sexual need that she feared had left her entirely after the incident with Moran. She was ecstatic, Sherlock's lips on hers did nothing but wash away the shame left by the poisonous intentions of Moran. He adjusted his hands on her, one pressing on her lower back, forcing her into his hips, the other resting between her shoulder blades, his fingertips digging into the cloth as if he could will it to disappear. Her fingers moved to the sides his face, splaying across the soft warmth of his skin and he moaned, stepping forward to invade her space completely.

Backing her up further caused them to collide with the bookshelf, eliciting a surprised yelp from Kairi that was silenced after her lips claimed his again. She pulled herself up against him, onto her tip toes and Sherlock obliged, his hands shooting to her waist to lift her so she could wrap her legs around him, locking her ankles at his back. He pressed into her further, crushing her against the bookshelf, elated at the thin material of her leggings that allowed him to press into her heat. His hips rolled against her and tore a groan from her throat that sent a spike through his bloodstream, straight to the pleasure centers of his brain. He resigned to the fact that he would gladly do anything to hear her make those noises for the foreseeable future. His mouth abandoned hers for a moment and attacked her neck, allowing her a brief respite to breathe properly. He tasted every inch of available skin, allowing the sweetness of her to consume him as her moans played a concert in his ear.

Kairi's mind was reeling and she couldn't focus. So many nights she had imagined this, unsuccessfully. Nothing could compare to the way his hands grasped at her thighs, how his hips pushed into hers and his chest invaded her own space for breathing. She turned her head slightly as he nipped at her shoulder and she pressed her lips to his lower jaw, along the line of neck that she could reach, and nipping on his earlobe, allowing her tongue to taste him and revel in the way he made her feel alive again.

The sharpness of her teeth against his skin elicited a growl within his chest and he felt Kairi shiver against him, her thighs clenching for a moment around his hips. Grasping her as a lifeline, he fought desperately against the coldness in his chest that demanded he stop and demonstrate some control. A faint part of his mind registered that his mobile was ringing.

Kairi let out a gasp, feeling his phone vibrate against her inner thigh, pulling her out of her lust-induced haze and bringing her back to reality. The reality where she couldn't just dive back into his bed. The reality where he could not just consume her life all over again. She shook her head, biting her own lip and hating herself for going to therapy to become a wholesome, sane human being.

"Sherlock..." She gasped as he bit against her raging pulse and she felt herself warm perfectly against the bulge pressing into the apex of her thighs.

He groaned at the wavering tone of her voice and his mobile rang again, infuriating him to no end. He was absolutely enraged that answering his phone would require detangling his limbs from Kairi's and leaving the warmth of her embrace. He pulled away with a growl and pressed his forehead against hers, their heaving breaths intermingling as Sherlock's muscles tensed and Kairi shook.

He watched her lips tremble gently and he sighed, "I understand." He whispered and she let out a small sob, "I'm sorry." He admitted and kissed her gently on the forehead. He helped her stand, her feet planting on the ground as his hands fisted in the loose material of the skirt that had gathered at her hips.

"I'm sorry — it's just a lot. I liked it, a lot — it's just…" She choked out. He pulled her to him and held her close.

"Don't apologize." He whispered against her dark hair. "You and I have a lot to rediscover."

His phone began to ring again and it startled Kairi so much that she let out a squeak. He chuckled stepping back enough to allow an extra inch of space so that they were no longer crushed against the book-case, but he stayed near. Kairi was gripping his suit, not quite willing to let him move further, it seemed.

"You've been round Molly too much, with all that squeaking." He muttered with distaste.

Kairi let out a hysteric laugh and covered her mouth as he pulled his phone to his ear and answered it.

"Yes?" He said into the receiver with a coldness in his tone that made Kairi waver. He looked down at her for a moment and gave her an affection smile. It was quickly replaced by an eye roll and a growl as someone spoke over the phone, "I'm quite busy." He snarled testily.

Kairi chuckled and patted his chest, stepping around him and moving back over to John's chair with shaky legs, trying to ignore the daggers that Sherlock was shooting at her. She sat down slowly, trying to contain herself and rein in her hormones and emotions while Sherlock talked on the phone. She stared at the fire again, allowing his voice roll over her and supply her comfort despite the menacing tone. The level of distaste he demonstrated through his speech meant it must have been Mycroft on the other end. That, or he was truly perturbed over the fact that the caller had interrupted their reconnection.

Saved by the bell, indeed.

With a bitter chuckle, Sherlock ended the call and glanced back over to Kairi, who was sitting in John's chair with an elusive smile on her face and a far off look in her eyes. He walked over to her and stood a foot away, waiting for her to refocus. He cleared his throat and she finally looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling, while a wide smile spread over her swollen lips.

He took a moment to really look at her and appreciate her beauty. Her face was bare of any make up, so her features were soft to him, something comforting. Her hair was shorter than he'd ever seen on her and the strands were dark. Despite the drastic difference to her appearance, it pleased him. Her body had transformed from the frail structure he remembered before to one of plush curves and strength. She seemed healthy, happy. He couldn't deny the absolute mirth he felt seeing her put together again, smiling and alive and strong. Especially after he had repentantly left her so splintered and frail.

"That was Lestrade. There's a corpse he wants me to investigate, quite urgently." He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet, the churning heat in his gut was doing nothing for the seriousness of the situation. "It seems that we will need to have this conversation another time."

Kairi nodded, smiling knowingly at Sherlock, "Yeah, of course." She stood slowly and adjusted her dress, shifting uncomfortably to battle the wetness in her pants. She felt herself flush again and looked at Sherlock who was fighting a grin as he watched her. She glared at him with a certain vexation in her eyes, "Your hair looks a mess and you've got a tent pitched, don't make fun of me!"

He chuckled slightly and did his own minute adjusting. "However," He went on as if she hadn't spoken, "if you'd like to continue, I wouldn't mind if you accompanied me to the crime scene."

Kairi hid her smile by turning away from Sherlock, "Really Sherlock? Jumping from having your tongue down my throat to taking me to murder scenes?" She shook her head and turned back to him with a coy grin on her lips, "I thought we were going to take things slow."

The corner of his mouth hitched and he rolled his shoulders to straighten his posture, "Are you not ready to be seen with me yet?"

Kairi sighed gently and her shoulders slumped, "It's not  _that_  Sherlock, you know that I love you. I want to be with you,  _everyone_  knows that, so hiding it is silly at this point. I'm just worried about jumping right back into where we were before Moran." She had to fight the bile that rose when that name crossed her lips. "I'm not quite that girl anymore. I'm not saying everything has changed but..."

"Yes, well, everything  _has_  changed, hasn't it?" He chuckled lightly and she moved towards him, which was a marked improvement. When her arms wrapped around his waist he returned the gesture with hesitant hands, "I put forward my best effort to distance myself from you Kairi, but now that I am home, I feel as if I can finally breathe. The case that I was on, the things that were required of me were difficult." He swallowed heavily while his hands adjusted on her, trying to keep himself from touching every inch of her, to make sure this wasn't a dream, "For the last year, I was not entirely myself." He felt her shift in his arms and she looked up at him, curious and sad, so he continued, "I need to re-tune myself to this life here, but your presence is a driving force. All I had when I was away were memories…"

Kairi smiled, "I know. I can feel it. You're just sort of coiled up inside there." She poked a finger in his chest and he managed a smile, "You're home now, you'll jump right back into being Sherlock Holmes. Whatever it was you did, whatever you had to do, I know you did it to help people. That's all you ever do."

He chuckled at her and shook his head, "Now what have you done to the teasing girl I left who used to insult me?"

Kairi smiled at him, "What happened to my brooding, stoic consulting detective? All I see is this husky, impassioned man looking to fuck me through a wall."

Sherlock's eyes widened at her brashness and a blush inadvertently glowed on his cheeks, "What?!" He sounded affronted, though in fact he had every intention to engage in vigorous intercourse when she was ready and willing.

Kairi outright giggled and laid her face against his chest, "Ah, there's a bit of him, I thought I had done too good of a job desensitizing you to sex." She hugged him close and he chuckled.

They stepped back from the embrace and adjusted themselves again. The silence was tenuous as they looked at one another. There were gaps that needed to be filled, questions that needed answering. Time spent apart had done them good, for the most part, but there was still a lot of healing to occur. The wall between them was shoddy and falling down, but there was a hint of uncertainty towards what they would find on the other side. Two new beasts needed to be tamed.

"Well, since you know me so well, would you accompany me to the crime scene?" He tried to hide his eagerness.

Kairi sighed dramatically, "I don't know Sherlock, that's like third date material right there." She finished sarcastically.

Sherlock rose an eyebrow and stepped closer, raising his hand to hold the side of her face and her neck, the fleshy bit of his palm pressing against her pulse as it began to race, "Third date material?" He muttered in a confused way, but his eyes narrowed and he grinned at her, "I've had the fortuity of being inside of you, Kairi. I think the preamble of dates is a little excessive."

She rolled her eyes and snorted, pulling out of his grasp, "You are impossible!" She rasped at him but couldn't hide the smile on her lips. She began to walk away until he spoke.

"However, I could use a second pair of eyes." He added with a hint of disdain which made Kairi turn back in curiosity.

"You want me to be your assistant?" She chuckled and eyed him with suspicion. "Why? Is the body inside a computer or something?"

He rolled his eyes at her attempt at self depreciating humor, "My blogger seems to be missing. Judging from the state of this flat, I'm under the impression I'm currently the sole tenant." He growled and then added in a hiss, " _Sentiment_  does such odd things to people. I'm not sure why they felt the need to find a new flat together when the previous living situation was perfectly adequate."

It was Kairi's turn to roll her eyes, "They're  _engaged_  Sherlock. That's what engaged people do: move in together, get married, have babies."

He scoffed at her, "Precisely,  _sentiment_ makes people do stupid things _._ "

She could only chuckle.

He turned back to her, ignoring his previous thoughts. Grinning fully now, he relished in the excitement of a new case that suited him, "The body is only approximately four hours old. Vital evidence could be present, so we mustn't waste time." He reached out his hand to her, "Will you come?"

Kairi sighed and stepped forward, reaching her hand out to grasp his, "I really have no other choice." He frowned at her and Kairi just chuckled, "But don't expect me to get all doe-eye and willowy at the mention of a case," She added scathingly with a squeeze to his hand, "I'm not John you know, I'm not going to run around London like a madwoman with you two. After this case, unless you need my computer prowess, I'd very much like to just hear about your cases in a bath with a glass of wine."

Sherlock gave her a warm look, "I believe that could be arranged."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "You tart, the only way you're getting close to that tonight is if I phone you during my bath!" She took the hand that wasn't holding his and poked his chest. He swatted at her finger until the poke became a caress, picking at a button on his shirt, "I mean, that doesn't sound half bad really, sitting in the bath and listening to you talk about a case," She gave him a saucy look, but then became stern, "but you're not getting naked with me just yet Mr. Holmes. I'm not that easy."

Sherlock chuckled and pulled her along, grabbing his coat while Kairi whistled for Toby to follow, "That's not a fact I'd be willing to testify to in court."

"Prick." Kairi grumbled and then yanked her hand from his as she pushed past him and strode out the door of 221B. "I'm going to my flat to get my jacket and boots. I doubt I should show up to a crime scene in slippers."

He grabbed his coat and followed her down as she skipped in front of him, gleeful and excited. He had missed the thrumming calm in his mind that Kairi provided. Thoughts of her had their own affect, but being near her, being close was an entirely different feeling. Despite the miles between them he truly hadn't been that far from her, not always.

He waited outside her door for a few moments, until he realized that she was taking far too long to just grab boots and a jacket. He pushed through the door and a smile graced his lips as he looked around. Her flat was very much the same as it had been when he left, but he was honestly surprised to see that Kairi now had photographs on her mantle and art graced the walls. The pictures were rudimentary and simple, but aesthetically pleasing, ranging from pictures of flowers, to unique curves of the human frame, and then to one painting that made him chuckle slightly.

The one that hung over her mantle was a larger canvas and it was a depiction of a door with the familiar cream stone around a thin black entryway. A gold knocker rested in the middle of the door, slightly askew. It was a painting of the entrance to Baker Street. It came as a shock when he realized that brush strokes and swooping lines all resembled the paintings that were hanging within her home. Kairi had painted each one.

She emerged a moment later, her face delicately smoothed over with her usual make up. He gave her a frown, disappointed to see that she still felt the need to hide behind such a mask. The paint on her face did nothing to hide nor enhance her beauty, except to provide a harsher contrast in her features, which remained pleasing. Yet it still struck Sherlock as disagreeable. She paused when she saw his face and the blood-red lips curled up in a smirk.

"Un-pop your collar and I'll take off my make up." She said jestingly and Sherlock grinned.

"Well, if you must..." He added fleetingly, "Your paintings are very nice. Not exactly fit for the Louvre, but nonetheless adequate."

Kairi chuckled, "Thanks, Molly would take me to painting classes — they'd give you free food and some wine and do an instruction. I always went my own way a little bit, but I liked it. Helped me express  _feelings_  and such." He scoffed at her tone and she rolled her eyes in response.

"You've got personal pictures up now." He glanced over to a photo of her family when Kairi was very young.

"Yeah," She smiled, "It was an exercise, really: don't be afraid of the past, let things hurt a bit. Now I can look at them and not hurt so much, even remember good times." She admitted wistfully as she joined Sherlock as he looked over pictures of her family at varying ages.

"And how is Deanna?" Sherlock questioned, investigating the photo of Julie and Danni in twin frames. Their features had only slightly changed, but he could see what a difference a year had made in their development. Seeing them had made an impression on just how much time had passed. His attention was diverted from the photos when he noticed Kairi's silence. He could practically feel the tension that rolled off of her in that moment, so he turned and saw her looking sad.

"She passed away in August." She frowned, staring down at nothing, "It's better, we buried her with dad — thanks by the way, helping identify him." She cleared her throat, "They're at peace or one with the universe or something, but at least they're no longer lost to the world." She looked up at him with a tiny smile.

Sherlock straightened and walked to her, placing unsure hands on her shoulders, "I find no pain in death Kairi, however, I am sorry for your loss."

Kairi gave him a sad sort of grin, "Well, whatever you were up to sure instilled a bit of manners." She eyed him and nodded with real appreciation, "Thank you."

He nodded in return and stepped away from her, looking at nothing in particular before turning back with a smile. She seemed at ease, so he intoned, "Crime scene?"

Kairi chuckled and nodded, "Crime scene."

With that, they dashed off into the night, ridding in a cab in an invigorated silence.

Midway through the drive, she glanced at Sherlock who looked smug to have placed his hand on her thigh, tracing faint lines along the soft material of her skirt. "Getting a bit handsy, aren't we?" She joked, his smirk deepened.

"If you are uncomfortable, I will stop." He looked down at her, still with his smirk.

She scowled at him. Of course she didn't want him to stop touching her. She'd been waiting a year for that, "Its fine, but don't get any ideas." She huffed with an upturned nose that looked out at the city lights. She scowled when she heard him chuckle, but she refused to satisfy his pride with her ire.

As she watched London fly by her, she tried to grasp exactly what was happening and who it was happening with.

Sherlock returns and drama begins anew. A part of her thought it would be wiser to fling herself from the vehicle, to search for a life spent doing mundane things like gardening or coupon clipping. She knew that having Sherlock in her life meant that adventure was always around the corner, whether she liked it or not. And if she were being truly honest with herself, she never really liked gardening or coupons anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> *glorious squeeing*
> 
> Soooooo...?
> 
> Thoughts? I'd love to hear how you think their first real interaction went down. I don't even know what to say as there's just so much going on and I just want to hear what you think...Please Please PLEASE?!
> 
> Also, I had a silly little one shot in mind that I got on the back burner, I'm not sure if any of you would be interested because it involves copious amounts of smut between Kairi and Sherlock and it resonates highly with some BDSM and Dom/Sub culture... It wouldn't be story related at all, it would just simply be using those characters in an AU of sorts... I got Sherlock!Dom in my brain and Kairi!Sub in there and they've just been playing around and I've been tempted to put it on internet paper in my "one shots"... Any interest?
> 
> Either way, read, review, favorite, follow, lurk, whatever your little hearts desire... More on the case in the next chapter :D


	4. -4-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains detailed scenes of a gruesome crime scene. It is done so for the case in mind and not just to be gory or shocking.

The taxi ride remained silent and relatively comfortable. Neither Kairi nor Sherlock really knew what to say since they couldn't speak of anything meaningful in such a short span of time. Arriving seething from a fight or disheveled from a lengthy snogging session wouldn't be greatly received by Scotland Yard, so the familiar silence of her morose detective would have to do. They'd remain slightly distant, vibrating with unmet needs and trying not to leap on each other every other minute. She smiled, just trying to feel in the moment with her precious detective. It was a very difficult thing to do when there were so many things that needed to be said, that needed to be heard.

They arrived at Brompton Park rather quickly and approached the barricaded crime scene, blocked off so the public couldn't just wander in. The area itself was a rather populated one, surrounded by businesses, residences, and even a fancy hotel. Kairi had yet to go to Brompton Park - her fascination with parks had dwindled since Moran - and it was a bit out of her usual routine. This wasn't exactly how she wanted to visit it, but it was a visit nonetheless. It was a smaller park and it backed up against a well known cemetery surrounded by residences. Bright lights were set up, illuminating the area and almost making it seem like a movie set.

Sherlock was pulling Kairi along, holding her hand in his tight grip. To the passing glares they received, it looked like he was dragging her, forcing her to keep up and come along this little sick adventure, but in reality, it was about as affectionate as he would get in public. In his little reality, taking someone along to a crime scene was probably the highest regard he could have for a person. Not many really understood that about him. Not to mention, his legs were almost twice as long as Kairi's, so dragging her was more of an accident than an effort.

They passed through the tape, lifted by a cross looking uniformed officer that Kairi didn't know and Sherlock barely cared to acknowledge. As they approached the scene, they passed by a few officers who greeted Kairi with smiles, then they navigated around high screens that were blocking the body from the public's view. They weaved around countless uniformed people and found Lestrade standing about three feet away from the corpse, one arm crossed over his midsection and the other gripping his chin, his eyes looking fierce as he took it all in.

Sherlock watched Lestrade as he acknowledged their approach. A nod to the consulting detective and a lingering sort of stare at Kairi, half nervous and half something else which made Sherlock minutely curious. As they got closer, Sherlock let go of Kairi and removed his glove to shake Lestrade's hand.

"Gene." Sherlock nodded, ignoring the pointed eye roll from the detective and focusing instead on the handshake, he couldn't help his innate investigative drives. He noticed that Kairi was watching them closely.

"Greg." Lestrade growled, letting go of the offending detective's hand and reaching towards Kairi to give her a stiff sort of hug that she returned with an equal lack of warmth.

"No, Sherlock." He smiled, pointing to himself with a wicked grin which caused Kairi to roll her eyes and chuckle and Lestrade just glared at him. He pushed his observations to the side, meant to be dealt with later. He ignored the rest of the world instantly and looked towards the body, a static sort of excitement coursing through him as he took in every bit of the scene with elation. "Identification?"

"None." Lestrade said, "But we've left her mostly alone aside from sectioning off the area. We didn't want anyone to stumble in and see this."

In the middle of the cordoned off area, a battered woman was very much on display. Sherlock walked towards her, his eyes snaking through the bloody grass and across the now pale skin. She was splayed out, arms above her head, legs spread wide beneath her, anchored in place with railroad spikes. Recognition sent a surge through his gut and he had to stifle a chuckle as he let his eyes wander over his newest case.

A familiar incision was cut into her upper torso, the letter Y in crimson red, stretching from her upper chest and all the way down to just below her belly button. The skin was not sutured, but the flaps of skin were closed, merely awaiting an anxious and brilliant hand to peel it back to expose the empty cavity. An assortment of the dead woman's organs were on display beside the body, cut out neatly, with a dextrous hand and laid out decoratively, invitingly. The liver, stomach, even coiled intestines delicately tied off, and all other slabs of meat that took up residence within the human frame, were all neatly lined up, surrounding her in some sort of macabre parade.

Sherlock smiled then, a familiar roll spreading through his frame as his mind ticked away at a scene that he had seen almost exactly before. Someone cleared their throat and he looked back to see Kairi eyeing him with an anxious look on her face. He sighed heavily and removed the smile from his lips, though he could not do much for the almost luminous excitement in his eyes. He removed his coat and handed it to her. As he went back to the corpse, she seemed to smile at him, a little unsure, but rather well composed considering the state of the body before her. She was muttering between Lestrade and Donovan, Anderson just a foot or so behind them, observing Sherlock working with a sort of bitter admiration.

"Have you called Molly?" Sherlock said over his shoulder as he pulled latex gloves from his pocket and slipped them on.

"She's with John at her family's. We can't call her." Kairi muttered distastefully.

"How inconvenient." He drawled and looked back at Kairi who was pointedly ignoring the corpse, her body turned slightly towards Lestrade who stood with her in some sort of solidarity. Sherlock frowned momentarily, but continued with the corpse, inspecting each inch as per routine, "It may be wise. I'm sure she and John would want to be informed of a serial killer returning."

"Wait, what?" Lestrade asked with his almost limitless incredulity.

Sherlock scoffed as he made a circle around the body, finding an appropriate place to begin inspecting the organs lying next to it, "Scotland Yard has such a short and insipid memory!" He muttered in frustration, fingering a kidney. "Unsolved murder where the victim was attacked, spiked down, and eviscerated? Surely you haven't forgotten…" He glanced back at the blank face of Lestrade and sighed.

"Oh my god!" Kairi said loudly and Sherlock just smiled at her, putting the blatant pieces together. "Sherlock you can't possibly mean…" She put a hand over her mouth, looking like she was about to be sick and Lestrade stepped closer to her, putting a reassuring arm around her, "God Greg! The body, the video… The goddamned bomb!"

Sherlock was gazing at the body, ignoring their interaction completely, and looking like a child on Christmas Morning, presents in the form of evidence all wrapped up and hidden beneath the artfully decorated corpse. "The Sandman." He said with a grin.

Lestrade gave an exaggerated sigh and pulled Kairi a bit closer as she regained her resolve, "Christ. Knew this didn't feel right." He shook his head and glanced at Kairi, "You okay?"

Sherlock let the conversation continue out of his scope of care as he took in the corpse more specifically as opposed to the gore. The woman was in her mid-fifties maybe, lines around her face that denoted age, but not overexposure to sun. She probably had a job inside then. Her skin was pale and had been delicately made up in a no-nonsense type of way — prior to her untimely disembowelment at least. So a professional job, but she worked with people enough to need a presentable face. Years of accumulated weight kept her body rounded but not obese. Her hands weren't calloused, but she had decent musculature despite her larger frame, denoting some sort of activity in relation to daily work — not an avid gym goer then. He had no clothes to go off of since she was naked, save a pair of common cotton underthings covering her lower half.

A pile of brightly colored material was cut up and placed beneath her head. He looked more closely at her face and mouth. Tongue removed, blood pooling in her oral cavity, probably a good amount inhaled and regurgitated during the process of her death, but not enough to make her drown in it. He would need Molly's assessment for cause of death, as it was not caused by her injuries. He would assume she expired close to four hours ago, before The Sandman had completely finished with her — some wounds appeared to be postmortem while others occurred antemortem. The antemortem wounds seemed to be close to five hours old, meaning she was abducted close to five and a half, possibly six hours prior.

Due to time of death and the amount of time required for a vivisection, wherever she was abducted from had to be near by. He glanced around and saw that this area was hidden from surrounding homes and businesses well enough. She was probably wearing her work clothes at the time of abduction, so she was either abducted from or on her way home from her job. He glanced back at the body and focused in on her hair.

"Kairi, you'll need to call Molly. Ensure she isn't highly intoxicated before requesting her presence back at the morgue." Sherlock added, glancing at the victim's hair line and noticing dark roots coming in between a sharp line of bright blonde. Her hair had been dyed and was in need of a touch up. Then, the scraps of material beneath her head caught his eye.

"Requesting?" Kairi asked cheekily.

Sherlock scoffed, "Fine, demand it."

Kairi rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone.

Sherlock's smile returned and he stood, ripping off a latex glove and pulling out his phone to flip through an internet search. He smiled wide, glancing at Lestrade who was staring at the body with sad eyes. Frowning for a moment, Sherlock cleared his throat and received the attention of the Inspector and Kairi, "You'll want to question the staff at Chelsea and Westminster."

"Why?" Lestrade looked oddly at the consulting detective.

"Chelsea and Westminster?" Kairi questioned, looking back and forth between the Inspector and the Detective. She handed him his coat and he slid it on with a flourish.

"Hospital on Fulham Road, not very far from here at all." He smiled at Kairi and then addressed Lestrade, "I believe you have a middle aged nurse, possibly the head nurse of the Triage unit going by her age. She has been a nurse for a very long time. I have no doubt that she was abducted from there no more than six hours ago. Probably had just come off of a double shift — hair and face have been unwashed for at least thirty-six hours."

"How -?" Lestrade stopped himself and just looked at Sherlock expectantly.

Sherlock graced him with a small, pedantic smile. Opening his mouth to say something cruel, he glanced at Kairi and saw her looking impatient, maybe even pleading, so he just continued with his explanation, "The material beneath her head is brightly colored and despite it being cut to bits to hide it, the material is decorated with some sort of cartoon cat." He shrugged, "Doesn't look like a popular character, and the cheap, mostly polyester, cotton blend is clearly that of medical scrubs worn by nurses. I guessed triage because of the stress lines around her face and the fact that her hair has not been kept dyed for at least two weeks — busy, busy, busy it seems — not many nights off to dye her hair and keep up appearances."

He smiled as his mind whirred with activity, "She's middle-aged, slightly overweight but not in a horribly unhealthy manner — so she is active, but not an avid exerciser. I'd say she's single, possibly divorced with elder children, judging by the stretch marks on her abdomen, children that are no longer toddling about anymore. That's an assumption based on her age and the hours she put into work."

He looked back at the body, "Surgical cuts with a very sharp instrument, removal of organs, railroad spikes… All signs point to The Sandman abducting a nurse from Chelsea and Westminster and murdering her in the wooded area of Brompton Park. Not notoriously busy this late at night, nor highly traversed being so close to a popular cemetery and all." He glanced up at Kairi and Lestrade who were gaping at him and he frowned, "It's simple if you would have just observed." He added haughtily.

"Shit." Kairi muttered and then nodded, "I'll call John and Molly and get them to meet us at Bart's."

"Yes." Sherlock nodded as she walked away and he turned slightly to address Lestrade. "Your team is up, tell them not to muck about, I do hate it when vital evidence gets ruined by inadequate collection measures." He finished and went to follow Kairi.

Lestrade shot him a glower and then ignored the jab, "Yeah, fine." He cleared his throat and reached out to Sherlock, grabbing his arm sharply. Sherlock looked a bit shocked at the physical touch but Lestrade continued, sounding a bit desperate, "Look, I know this is great and all for you, the corpse, Kairi, perfect birthday and all that, but we're taking her out tomorrow for  _her_  birthday. I'm sure she'd like you to come. Probably dinner and a drink at Northumberland, something silly like that, but she'd never ask for herself."

Sherlock shot him a glare, "I don't do social events Lestrade and I certainly don't celebrate something as trivial as one more year closer to a person's death."

Lestrade sighed, looking defeated and even disappointed, "Yeah, I figured." He regained his most professional looking stature and added, "We will get the body to Bart's soon as possible."

Sherlock nodded and shrugged off the offending hand, flapping his coat to adjust it comfortably and followed after Kairi as she phoned John.

"Hello? Kairi?" She heard John say over raucous laughter.

"Hey!" Kairi said excitedly as John answered and she heard the grating din of a large family at dinner.

"Pardon me," He said to someone else, obviously excusing himself from the conversation as he took her call, "Everything all right?" Kairi could hear him more clearly now since he moved further away from the noise of Molly's family.

"Oh well, sort of." Kairi replied sheepishly, "Look, this is a weird night already, don't make me explain too much."

John seemed to chuckle, "Right, well I shouldn't be too surprised, what's going on?"

Kairi smiled, "Well, I hope you aren't having too much fun — you and Molly are required back in London."

She could practically hear the gears turning in John's mind, " _Required_? Oh Christ, Sherlock's back isn't he?"

Kairi chuckled, "Yes, he came back earlier this evening. A body happened to bubble up through the cracks as well, so we are at a crime scene right now."

"Christ!" John already sounded tired, "Yeah, that sounds about as normal as it gets for you lot. How did it all go? I mean, aside from the dead body."

Kairi chuckled turning slightly to see Sherlock walking behind her, deep in thought, as she headed towards the edge of the police line, "Fine, I guess. We've got more to discuss, but… Well, it went all right until he was called on a case."

"Well, it sounds as if that's going just about right as rain for him then," John added sarcastically, "Shit, he  _really_  brought you to a crime scene?" He sounded a little angered at that and Kairi tried not to smile as she ducked under the police line and headed back to where they came from to find a cab. "I thought you wanted to take things slow." He added with a sad chuckle.

Kairi outright laughed, "First of all, his blogger was absent and he needed an assistant. Second of all, I already made that joke, thirdly, tell Molly to keep her yap shut about Sherlock and I, the little gossip. The idea of privacy this last year was alluring, though I'm sure it's all out the window now." She added light heartedly.

"Right, so you need us? I'm imagining he's vibrating with excitement, got his girl, got a corpse, doesn't need much else," he joked. "We're about an hour out of London."

Kairi chuckled, glancing at Sherlock who had caught up to her and was indeed looking far too overzealous at her side, "Yeah, an hour is fine, Scotland Yard has the scene now and they're collecting evidence and samples. You've got an excuse to leave, so hopefully Molly isn't knackered or drunk."

"No, she's been good, but her step-father is getting to the point where he's going to start spouting his misogynistic bullshit about her job not being fit for a lady and how she'll need to get all of that silly science work out of her system when there's a baby on the way." He sounded exasperated. Kairi knew all too well how Molly's step-father liked to talk down to her. The man was decent enough, but horribly old-fashioned and close-minded, especially when he had too much to drink and he let his mouth run on.

Kairi sighed, "Oh God, poor Molly. Babies already,  _again_? You aren't even married yet!"

John chuckled, "Yeah, tell me about it. Evidently I'm supposed to start up my own practice and bring in all the dough while she stays barefoot and pregnant at home. I'll go tell her the good news. I'm sure she'll be somewhat delighted to be called into work."

"Good. We will see you at Bart's in an hour or so then." Kairi replied and John gave a grunt of assent and then hung up. She turned to Sherlock who's mind was obviously buzzing. "Now what?"

"Dinner?" He looked down at her with a grin on his lips and she desperately fought the eye-roll. If she continued with so many eye rolls in such a short amount of time, her eye balls would be sure to roll right out of the sockets and down the street in protest.

"After  _that_ , you want to get dinner?" She chuckled and then reached down to grasp his hand in hers. "Fine, but maybe something vegetarian?"

He chuckled lightly, "I was thinking sushi."

She grinned, "I think I could handle that."

They walked back out to the main street and hailed a cab. Once inside and directed towards a sushi place owned by a veritable sushi Jedi that Sherlock had done some favor for, he decided to speak again, "Do you know how you can tell if a sushi restaurant is of top quality?"

Kairi glanced up at him and scooted herself a bit closer so she could lean into him, "No idea. Smells like fish? Has an old asian woman who is mean to all the customers? Those ladies are always my favorite…"

He looked at her with severe disappointment, "Absolutely not, such a smell is a severe indication that their fish is of poor quality. A respectable sushi restaurant would never smell of fish — it should smell faintly of watermelon, cucumber, and possibly vinegar." He paused and looked at her, "Mean old-asian women? Why would you go to a restaurant where they treat you poorly?"

"Maybe I just have a type." She winked, but he still looked confused. "Okay,  _mean_  was the wrong word. I don't know, they are just old and they know their shit and they don't take kindly to people giving them attitude." Kairi laughed, looking up at him, "And a vinegar smell? How is that better than fishy smell?"

He gave her a cross look, "Quality sushi rice is always made with a hint of vinegar. Fish smelling  _fishy_  means they've been left out too long. Watermelon and cucumber denote a cleanliness and freshness of produce used for specific rolls. All in all, a fishy, ginger-smelling place should be avoided at all costs."

Kairi scrunched her nose at him, "Well  _hint_ of vinegar is different from a place reeking of vinegar. God, you sound so posh sometimes.  _Respectable sushi._ " She mocked.

He glared at her, "I am  _not_ posh."

She grinned, "Are too."

He tutted at her and looked away, "Also, most of the highest quality fish is actually not fresh, but frozen for quite some time before its utilized."

"So, we pay top dollar for frozen fish?" She chuckled.

"No, you pay top dollar for parasite-free fish. You should be thankful, I don't think you'd want to wake up in a week and see a writhing tapeworm in your most recent bowel movement." He added sharply.

"Christ!" She screeched and hit his shoulder, "You are not making me want to go to dinner with you at all!"

He rolled his eyes, "Trust me, Noboru Kato is a prodigious  _itame_. A master of his craft. He takes his sushi making extremely seriously. As per regulations, his fish is frozen well below zero by his own hand, sometimes for years, perfectly preserving the texture and taste, but ridding it of pesky bacteria and parasites. It's a necessary and common practice. I believe tuna is one of the only fish you can serve fresh, as it is an exceptionally clean deep-sea animal."

She smiled up at him, "Look at you, a genuine encyclopedia of sushi and murder. Who would have thunk it?"

He glanced down at her, fighting a grin, and lacing his tone with sarcasm, "Yes, it's precisely what I spend my spare time doing. Studying the intricacies of sushi preparation and effective ways to dispose of a troublesome corpse."

"You could combine it, like Hannibal Lecter - make people into spicy tuna instead of  _foi  gras_." She chuckled again. There they were, conversing easily and enjoying each other's company, despite the morbid topic. She looked up at him and then just stared at him, taking him in, squeezing his arm a bit when she wrapped her own around it, just solidifying that he was, in fact, truly beside her.

"Are you still trying to validate my presence?" He searched her features for a moment.

She sighed and shrugged, "I guess so. I've lived a year without you, Sherlock. I mean, I guess in my mind, you weren't ever really that far gone, but still… For a while, I kept thinking I had made you up. That it was all some sick joke."

He chuckled and leaned down and pressed his lips against the side of her face, "At the beginning, I was under the absurd impression that I was hallucinating my attraction to you. I thought I had lost my mind, I never though I had actually desired the vacuousness of romantic entanglement until it was thrust upon me in your visage."

She turned her face, pressing her lips against his in a kiss that was supposed to be chaste, but broiled with an undercurrent of passion, "Nice vocab drop, but try to refrain from insulting the fact that I am stupid enough to love you or visa versa."

He turned his body effectively, letting his opposite hand rest on her cheek, stroking it gently as he pulled her lips to his in a rushed sort of heat, "How could you be sure it was not an impostor if I did not behave as such?" He nipped at her upper lip and Kairi shivered.

"Dick." She muttered before letting her own hands shoot up around his neck to pull him closer.

They effectively entwined as much as they could, without Kairi outright climbing up onto his lap, and engaged in a kiss that was sensuous and almost equally violent and needy. Losing themselves in the taste of one another, gloved hands grasping at body parts not ensconced in heaps of clothing, lead them to groan into one another's mouths until the taxi stopped abruptly, jarring their lips from the kiss.

"Here!" The cabby said gruffly, obviously disinterested in their heated union.

With a chuckle from Kairi and a clearing of Sherlock's throat, they adjusted themselves and went to exit the cab, shifting uncomfortably in clothing far too existent than they wanted. Once out of the taxi, Kairi faced a small sushi restaurant seated on a relatively empty street. It was not a very fancy looking place, but it looked rather busy inside. When they walked in they were greeted with a chorus of " _ Konbawa _ " from chefs and waiters alike. Kairi smiled and bowed, returning the traditional greeting with an elegant tongue.

Sherlock smiled down at her in appreciation and she returned the smile with a blush. He then searched around a bit, spotting Kato behind the sushi bar, vigorously working as he was wont to do. Upon their entrance the elderly man looked up, his face lined and stretching out with elation upon seeing Sherlock. The man muttered to his nearby itame who took over his duties and came around the bar, greeting Sherlock with excitement and adoration.

Kairi watched as the man she guessed was Noboru Kato, greeted Sherlock with utmost respect and honor. Whatever Sherlock had done must have meant a great deal to the man, who acted indebted to her detective. A flurry of Japanese was spoken, adoration and praise to Sherlock from Kato, and she smiled as the language clicked in her brain, pulling briefly some memories from her time in Okinawa with her family.

" _Kato-sama_ , I'm pleased to introduce Kairi…" Sherlock turned, smiling down at Kairi who grinned, "My girlfriend." Kairi's eyes went wide at that.

She jolted back to the conversation and greeted Kato with reverence, bowing gently and thanking him for the opportunity to meet him, " _Ome  ni kakarete kouei desu._" The man obviously thought highly of Sherlock and Sherlock returned the esteem, so it was important to impart her respect in return.

The itame looked at Sherlock with absolute glee upon hearing Kairi speak in his native tongue, "Sherlock- _sama!_   _Hontou  ni ureshii_! Not only do you bring a beautiful woman into my restaurant, but she also speaks impeccable Japanese!" His voice was deep and joyous, he bowed to Kairi and returned her respectful greeting, not being shy about praising her speech. "Please, come to my station, I would be honored to serve you myself." He led them to the open span of the bar, pulling out their chairs and taking their jackets to hand them off to a nearby server. He was all smiles and cheer as he talked with them briefly about their lives and families. When he went back to the bar he shouted for a bottle of their finest sake to be brought out.

Kairi absolutely beamed at Sherlock, who seemed to blush slightly as he turned to face her, "Can I know what you did for this man? He treats you like a brother!"

Sherlock grinned slightly, "It was merely a case that ensured the safety of not only his business, but also his eldest son."

Kairi chuckled, placing a hand over his, "Well, good thing you did, I love sushi and I'm gonna milk this connection for all it's worth." She winked at him when a server brought out a small bottle of sake and placed it on the space between them and the chef's station.

Kairi thanked the server as Kato poured three shots of sake. He handed the cups to Sherlock and Kairi, raising his own glass to them. He praised Sherlock for his intelligence, his courage, and his generous heart. He also applauded Sherlock's great luck in meeting such a wonderful woman and wished only the greatest of lives for them. They nodded their thanks and drank their sake before Kato went about creating the greatest possible dinner he could muster.

When he seemed sufficiently busy, Kairi turned to Sherlock to speak in hushed tones, not wanting to disrupt other patrons, "So, Sherlock- _kun_ , how are you so sure this is the Sandman?"

Sherlock looked at her curiously and she winked in response, "I was under the impression you wouldn't want to discuss murder over sushi, Kairi- _chan_."

A grin ticked at her lips in response to the endearment, "Well don't go into ridiculous detail or anything, I just want to be sure. I mean the guy has been MIA for a year."

He nodded as he sipped his water, "Oh, that we know of."

Kairi frowned, "What do you mean?"

He smiled as he looked down at her. He was relieved by her presence. He could talk to her at length about his cases, even dive into the aspects that made others turn pale, and she would almost always listen — unless she were being prurient. She may not always grasp his deductions or information that he divulged, but she was always interested and fascinated by learning new things. He appreciated her tenacity for understanding.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was keeping  _busy_  the year I was away. We know he was determined for me to see his work since he sent the video to John's blog. I wouldn't be surprised if we got another one soon."

Kairi shivered slightly, "Ugh another video. You must feel so special." She glanced back at Sherlock who grinned, "So you think he's been active since that first murder — the retired officer?"

Sherlock nodded, "I would think that he may have been keeping himself entertained somehow. As you saw tonight, he is a creature of habit. This scene was relatively identical to the retired inspector. I think that exposé was important for  _me_  to see — not specifically his own elaborate drive."

Kairi frowned, "But serial killers don't exactly go around changing their M.O. all willy-nilly. They tend to be almost frustratingly consistent with their methods. So how can you be sure its him?"

Sherlock stared into his water, a gleaming excitement in his eyes, "I just know."

Kairi shrugged, "Well, perhaps he had more planned before you went away. Something must have happened to change that — it could have been you leaving, but I don't think he's killing them for you. I think he just wants to show off — something that sounds terrifyingly familiar." She shot him a dark look and he chuckled, "Serial killers don't usually wait that long between kills, it usually gets shorter, not longer. So during the time you were gone, he had no one to  _play_  with." She thought hard on that for a moment, "The spectacle wasn't needed, but the kill-drive was still there." She frowned. "Have you checked in with Lestrade about seemingly random, violent murders this last year?"

Sherlock nodded, "Too vague to really classify any. I doubt we could connect them to The Sandman in the end. However, that was a brilliant observation and application of your knowledge."

Kairi looked at him, surprised, "Are you being sarcastic?"

He finally looked back at her, perturbed, "No."

Kairi smiled, "So you really thought that was brilliant?"

Sherlock rose an eyebrow, "I would not associate myself with you if I didn't believe you to be superior to other people. I don't waste my time with mediocrity."

Kairi chuckled, "Is it weird that I'm a little turned on?"

Sherlock's features turned practically molten, "No."

Kairi scrunched her nose at him and waggled a finger, "That's the sake and empty stomach talking, not to mention the romance and excitement of a murder case." She chuckled and sipped some of her drink, "We are eating food and we are doing it now and then later we are going to a morgue where you can conduct experiments on a murder victim, make brilliant leaps of logic and insight, and catch the sick fucker who is eviscerating people and prove you're better than him."

Sherlock grinned at her, "That might be the most arousing sentence anyone has ever spoken to me."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "God, stroking your ego is like a straight-line to your penis." She shook her head and chuckled at him, " _Fact is_ ," She said with emphasis, derailing the topic from sex and body parts that she desperately wanted to touch, "if he took a break from chopping people to bits, perhaps it means a traceable event that might have occurred. Maybe jail time?"

Sherlock nodded, distancing himself from the absolutely furious torrent of desire curling in his gut, "Possible, but I'm not quite sure Sandman is part of the standard criminal class."

Kairi nodded, "Right, you think he's highly educated."

"I think he's close to a doctor with his knowledge of human anatomy." Sherlock frowned.

Kato interrupted with some plates of food which were happily and graciously accepted. Kairi and Sherlock went to work on their first hand-roll.

" _Itadakimasu_!" Kairi and Sherlock nodded to Kato and tucked in.

Kato seemed elated as he watched Kairi's eyes widen when she took her first bite. She made sure to be extra vocal about the roll's absolute perfection. He went about fixing their next installment while Sherlock and Kairi essentially stuffed face.

After her final swallow she turned to Sherlock who was delicately finishing off his last bite, "But you said there weren't any medical professionals that seemed like decent suspects in relation to the retired inspector."

Sherlock shook his head and swallowed and Kairi tried  _really_ hard not to be aroused by the bobbing of his Adam's apple or the tension in his throat as the muscles flexed. When his eyes met hers, he was fighting a smile and she just scowled at him. "No, possibly not a medical professional, but there are variants that could be relevant."

"What like a veterinary surgeon?" Kairi muttered a little jokingly.

Sherlock shrugged, "I'll have to do some research, but more than likely, a coroner. Not quite as busy as a surgeon, but still has adequate knowledge of surgery and human anatomy to make work of a body in such a manner."

Kairi scrunched her nose, "What about a mortician?"

Sherlock nodded, a bit impressed, "Yes, that is another line of work that would require relatively high knowledge of human anatomy."

"Ok, ok," She shook her hands a bit at him, "no more talk of cutting corpses." She shook slightly and glanced at Sherlock, "So, you want to tell me what you were doing in the past year at all?"

Sherlock looked bored, "Not exactly. It was," He paused, looking lost for a moment and then regained his mental footing, "utterly unexciting."

Kairi scowled, "Come on,  _something_  interesting had to have happened."

Sherlock glanced at her briefly, "Not precisely."

She shrugged, "Fine, I can just regale you with tales of my past year, working with Mycroft and pre-teens and raising a puppy on my own."

He grinned at her a little painfully, "That sounds less tortuous."

Kairi smiled and began telling him about the last year. She talked about getting closer with Mycroft which seemed to make Sherlock very upset. She even mentioned emailing back and forth with his mother a few times which made him positively nauseated. She eased the tension by talking about her work with children and how much happiness it brought her. She thought Sherlock might like the kids, they were all pretty smart and definitely straightforward. She was teaching them computer skills and all of them seemed pretty eager at the opportunity to learn something that was relatively cutting edge.

Their dinner continued with many pleasing entrees from Kato and Kairi was absolutely ecstatic. The food was prepared perfectly, reflecting the traditional skills that she had been blessed with experiencing in Japan. She had always wanted to learn to prepare sushi, but it was a skill she was lacking in her cooking arsenal. She never could get the rolls quite tight enough or the rice just right. It didn't mean she wouldn't exuberantly consume it every chance she got though. Sherlock seemed pleased with the whole affair, discussing minor aspects of the case and asking her more questions about her time while he was away.

It was a comfortable sort of evening, spent with laughs from Kairi and small, sort of bitter chuckles from Sherlock when she managed to make him laugh despite his nature not to. They found conversation easily enough, sort of skating more serious topics for when they had time for each other privately.

It felt nice just to speak to one another, knowing that the other person understood you on a level that was different from most. They shared an odd closeness, an ease of spirit when they were with together no matter what dark secrets lurked in the shadows. They could switch from impassioned debates, to amusing jokes, straight to a comfortable silence without much thought and it was more than enough to make their reunion feel just a bit more than right.

Shortly after sharing a mango sorbet and an azuki mochi that Sherlock wasn't quite as fond of, but Kairi happily devoured, they got a text from Lestrade that the rest of their troupe were ready at the morgue.

Thanking Kato with gusto, they promised to return soon. He responded with elation and wished them a good evening with at least one hunger completely sated. They found another taxi and made their way to the morgue, kissing a bit heatedly in the back seat with Kairi giggling occasionally at the audacity of Sherlock's wandering hands.

Once at Bart's, their giggling entrance was met with awkward and interested glances from Lestrade, John, and Molly. Kairi remained smiling, but Sherlock went dead pan and then straight to work. Kairi decided to hang back a bit, not exactly dying to observe the autopsy in the way the rest of them were. She sat at another table and let herself think back on the day. An odd mixture of excitement, sadness, delicious sushi, sexual frustration, terror, and insanely good kissing — not necessarily in that order — had her thinking it was her best birthday yet. She watched Sherlock work, a warmth spreading through her as her happiness really intensified. He was home with her now, they both wanted to be together, and so it might just work. They still had a lot to go through, but if they could get through Moran and this past year apart and not absolutely hate the each other, then maybe they could pull through it.

She didn't make herself any promises, she didn't wish for miracles, she just wanted a chance to really be with him again. She wanted to just watch him work and savor his brilliance. She wanted to see him smile and hear his rare laughs. She wanted to walk in on experiments and odd smells and see him in the kitchen cutting up a body part with rapt fascination. She wanted to hear the odd noises coming from his flat at all hours of the day. He gave a sense of life to her mundane existence, a unique sort of excitement that catered to her small but powerful adventurous side. She wanted to learn and live and she'd very much like to do it all with Sherlock Holmes.

She was getting painfully close to bliss while Sherlock was away, but the uncertainty of it all left her in knots. In the end, she just needed to know if there was anything to this love lark. She wanted to know if she was capable of a real, loving relationship. She knew she could exist happily on her own and going to therapy was helping her reach a point where she felt like she was truly living, instead of just sort of passing through each year. If it worked with Sherlock, she'd be happy. If it didn't…Well, at least she could say she tried and then retire on a beach, own a little cottage on the sand where she'd take in stray dogs, form a traveling dog circus, and die happily in the sun knowing that she gave it her absolute best shot.

"Kairi?"

Kairi hummed a response and looked up at John, Molly, Lestrade, and Sherlock who were staring at her curiously. She jolted fully upright, ignoring the willowy sensation in her limbs and wiping the dreamy expression from her face. "What?" She growled.

Molly bit her lips to keep in her laugh and Kairi scowled at her.

"Tired?" Lestrade chuckled and John joined him.

She scowled, "Yes a bit. It's been a long fucking…" She glanced back at them, all looking terribly amused, and she sighed, "Yeah…" She stood abruptly and hopped off her stool, chuckling, "I'm gonna catch a cab home. I'm beat, I need my beauty rest and I've got a dog to tend to." Sherlock frowned at her and she did her best not to laugh at the petulant and childish look on his face. "I'll see you guys soon, right?"

John cleared his throat and threw a quick glance at Sherlock, "We still on for tomorrow night?"

Kairi saw the eye movement and sighed heavily, she wasn't going to press Sherlock on coming out with them, he wasn't big on social activities that didn't involve a dead body. Bringing it up to make him feel pressured to attend — not that he ever would — would be rude, "Yeah." She nodded to them all and then focused a soft look at Sherlock, "You mind walking me out?"

He stood quickly, looking annoyed as he ripped off his gloves in haste and made his way towards her. He grabbed their coats and handed hers over before he slid on his own. They wandered out of Bart's and onto the street in silence.

"I regret that I cannot accompany you home." He grumbled a bit childishly once they were standing still.

Kairi tried not to grin, "Nah, it's better that way. If I don't lock you out, you'd end up in my bed."

He eyed her wolfishly and she gave him a coy sort of smile, "Locks wont stop me."

She rolled her eyes at him, "No, but me saying 'please' might."

He sighed heavily and stepped closer to her, not bothering to call out for a cab just yet, "Yes, it would, as much as I absolutely despise the notion of denying myself your presence, your words will halt me in an instant."

Kairi smiled up at him, "Thank you." She got up on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was soft and innocent and Kairi pulled back sharply, surprising Sherlock.

"Wha-?" He began until she grabbed his hand and tugged him away from the curb and around the corner of Bart's to a shoddily lit alley.

She pushed him against the wall with a chuckle and then pressed herself against him fully, her mouth covering his and consuming him. His body responded with a violent burst of lust, like ignited thermite, and he turned them with a groan, pushing her up against the frigid stone of St. Bart's. Their legs tangled together so that their hips could be flush, their hands moved in a flurry of passion, touching every available body part within reach. Her nails scraped against his back, under his coats, but outside his shirt. His finger tips pressed into her buttocks, lifting her skirt up around her waist in order to gain access to the heated flesh beneath thin leggings. They were a mash of tongues and teeth and lips all furiously battling — not for dominance or anything, simply just fighting for existence, fighting to savor the sensation as long as possible before it got torn away from them for something feeble, like the need for air.

They parted and Kairi looked at Sherlock, her eyes positively smoldering, her mouth curled up into a deep smile, just for him.

"You are frustratingly adept at that." He growled and pressed his mouth against hers again.

She chuckled between his kisses, "Sorry, I need to take what I can."

He chuckled, "You may have anything you want, everything." His lips smiled against hers and she sighed against him, her fingertips now resting on his hips, pressing gently into the fabric of his shirt and pants.

She laughed now, dropping her mouth and resting her forehead against his chest. He simply pulled her closer, holding her tenderly, "I might just need you to make a recording. Something sexy and saucy for me to listen to until I somehow figure out it's the right time for us to have sex."

He sighed, "So there isn't some arbitrary time limit?"

She smiled and looked up at him, "Sorry Sherlock, when it's right, it's right." She saw his lips quirk with a grin, "And trust me when it's time, I will do everything in my power to exhaust you completely, in every fucking way I can imagine."

His eyes sparkled this time, mischievous and fiery, "Oh, I would delight in such a challenge Ms. Aria. It can be so frightfully tedious, being superior to everyone in every way."

She scowled at him playfully and got up on her toes again to kiss him, "You're lucky I love you."

He seemed to sigh against her, "Yes, I am."

She kissed him smartly again and they sort of wrestled against the stone wall for a few more minutes until they both emerged disheveled, but content. Kairi helped Sherlock sort out his hair and he had the decency to pull her skirt back down over her leggings before they walked back to the curb to call a cab. They shared one last decent kiss before going their separate ways.

Sherlock returned to the morgue a bit fuzzy brained, opening the door on harsh whispers that silenced upon the realization that he was back with them. He gave the inspector, his blogger, and his pathologist the darkest look he could manage as he walked back over to the corpse and Molly made herself look busy, while Lestrade toyed with his phone, and John straight up stared at him with the most amused, prickish grin he could manage.

"So you manage to get it over with that quickly?" John glanced at his watch and Sherlock scoffed at him.

"Dr. Watson, have some decency." Sherlock spat as he removed his coat and pulled out another pair of latex gloves.

John was still smiling, while Molly was intently focusing on the corpse. Though Sherlock assumed she was just waiting for an opportunity to chime in. He wouldn't even bother to look at Lestrade.

"What? Couldn't be bothered to at least take her home?" John was still grinning.

"John…" Sherlock snarled as he rounded the table.

John's tongue snaked out and caught his bottom lip, biting it in the amused fashion he demonstrated when he was feeling cheeky. It made Sherlock want to punch him. "No, seriously Sherlock, I'm surprised. I was afraid you and her would disappear for a week when you got back. I'd have to administer IVs to replenish fluids. It's good. It's healthy this way."

Sherlock shot him another glare and John raised his hands in surrender and backed off.

"Erm…" Molly began, directed at Sherlock who was standing across from her.

"For god's sake!" He spat and glared at her, "What the hell is so important?"

She smiled at him, more resolved and cheeky. Sherlock felt pleased and disappointed that she didn't fear him anymore, "Well, it's just — your shirt."

Sherlock sighed, "Yes? What about it?"

Molly smiled wide, "The bottom bit is unbuttoned and your belt looks like it's coming undone."

Sherlock growled out a curse and began the process of pulling off the latex gloves so he could fix his clothing while Lestrade, John, and Molly erupted into laughter at his expense.

—-

Kairi left with a very pleased smile on her lips. Undoing his belt a bit was a nice touch that she was sure he'd notice right away, but he hadn't. Flustering him was high on her list of priorities for a good life.

Once she got home, she tended to Toby and she went straight to bed — though sleeping wasn't exactly a planned activity until much later. It wasn't until after her first round "in bed" when she was sitting on the top of her toilet tank, smoking a cigarette, that the day finally hit her. After a lengthy fantasy session, the exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours and the other 8,760 hours before that, really sunk in. Sherlock was home and that simple realization meant worlds upon worlds of new things for them.

She loved him so very much. It was different, this type of love, not an infatuation, but a downright determination to be with the other person. She would do anything for him. Not in the maddened way of movies and books and TV, it wasn't like that. No, she would do  _anything_  for him. She'd pick up his dry cleaning, help him with shopping, show him how to run his own damn laundry, she'd call him out on his bull shit, she'd tend to his wounds — physical or mental —, and she'd even help him boil eyeballs with minimal gagging… Kairi would do anything for him and she knew it.

What was surprising and horrifying at the same time, is that she knew he'd do the same. The evidence was in the details, but it was there. He had given her space when she needed it, he looked out for her, he talked with her and valued and devalued her opinions when necessary, he took her to eat sushi and talk about work and funny kids and stupid things on the telly, he bought them a puppy, and he ate her cupcakes and kissed her when she was covered in glitter and fake hair extensions… Sherlock already committed feats of undying courage everyday, but he'd do the mundane, he'd do the boring with minimal bitching, just for her.

It was enough to break her heart if she wasn't just so damn happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzaaaaah! Another chapter down, a little more fluff, and the reintroduction of our friend The Sandman! How are you all liking Kairi/Sherlock's interactions? Staying "in character"? As much as I hate the notion of that, especially when writing something purely fictional and in no way related to canon plot... However, I still would at least like believable characters...
> 
> Which may come into question in the next few chapters but I only ask that you bear with me :D My dear characters and renditions of characters have some shit to sort through...Yeeeeesh I AM keeping my promise though, this story is not about anguish and pain and finding solace in goodness of others, this story is about recovery and building.... Think of it as Shakespeare's plays (I'm not comparing myself to him, only using his plot devices), the last story was a tragedy where everything started out rosy and great and then descended into misery, this one will be more of a comedy, where things start out a little awful and then continually grow to get better, until you'll all be rolling around in your comforters squeeing into glasses of wine or cartons of ice cream (not judging you, I do all of these things frequently). I promise, this is a story of healing and companionship. But shits gotta go down...
> 
> SOOOOOOOO as for the smutlock I proposed last week... I have it written. Its still in the throes of first-drafthood, but its still written and I cant wait to post it for all my fellow gutter-minded Holmies. Now, I might be just a BIT MEAN, because I am doing consistent updates, I'm hoping that maybe, juuuuuust maybe, I can be a little cruel to you because I'm not holding back chapters from actual plot. I'm trying to reach 100 reviews on FF.net so here I think I'll shoot for, say 50?? If I can hit 50 Reviews/Kudos I'll post my smutlock which is an unabashed Dom!Sherlock and Sub!Kairi one shot. Its very different from what I have done so far in the form of fluffy smut (Smuffy? Flut?), but its none the less titilating and a bit raunchy...So... Help me get there? Help my writing improve by being critical of what's happening between characters or if you find a flaw in my writing? I am taking great lengths to improve this story in its most basic form. Plot I can develop, however, I want to strengthen my use of imagery, presentation of characters, dialogue, descriptions of actions or behaviors, grammar and spelling, and the like. My husband is my beta right now and he's helping me with a lot but I also want to hear from readers as I feel you are the most important aspect of this whole ordeal.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me and reading along. Its going to be an exciting journey!!! Much love my Holmies.


	5. Chapter 5

Sherlock laid on the couch, glaring at a cigarette clasped between his fingers. He'd stolen it the night before when he had Kairi up against the wall outside of Bart's. No doubt Kairi, would discover his small action and he'd hear about it later — yet another reason to be thrilled at being in London again: dealing with so many people. Though he had to admit, if he wasn't at the receiving end of her ire, she was enjoyable to be around. He smiled at that, he had missed her.

His mind went back to the case. The body was of a middle-aged nurse who worked at the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital on Fulham Road who was as Lauren Shoehill. He had yet to interview anyone associated with the nurse as Molly would be finishing up her notes on the autopsy this morning. The scene was, of course, gruesome: her body brutally on display in Brompton park, not far from her place of employ and a cemetery. She had been piked down like the retired police officer, restrained and pliant for her murderer to do his bidding.

Of course, Lestrade was waiting for tests to return and for a team of lab assistants to provide inescapable evidence. It was not as if there were mountains of evidence to be linked to, but Sherlock was already well aware of who the perpetrator was. He was almost elated to see the familiar slices in skin, kerf marks in bone, the organized removal of particular organs, and the horrific display of the victim's innards. He had no doubt, remembering vividly the scene of the last murder, that Sherlock was observing yet another brutal crime from The Sandman. He lamented the fact that John had not received a video on the blog this time, but he was sure he would be receiving some sort of token in the next few days from his new adversary. The Sandman, like other serial killers, did love attention, and aside from Sherlock Holmes, that need would be his downfall.

He was still toying with the cigarette in his fingers, trying to draw a comparison between both victims. An odd choice for serial killers who tended to prey on the young, both the nurse and the retired officer were middle or later in years, both caucasian, and had scant family. With the delicacy of the evisceration, Sherlock knew the Sandman would be educated and methodical, most likely a true psychopath with a taste for the macabre.

His initial assumption that the Sandman would be an  _Angel of Death_  was proving exceedingly unlikely as there were no Doctors that linked the two victims. The fact that the murders were more than a year apart — at least discovered murders — seemed to halt Scotland Yard's conclusion that the Sandman had returned at all. But if there was anything that Sherlock Homes knew fully, it was the minds of murderers. This was not the panic driven need for a man to assert his dominance or slake his lust or yearn for some sort of comfort, this was a challenge, this was a summons from one dark mind to another.

Sherlock would eagerly oblige.

Kairi had accompanied him to the crime scene but he was surprised when she approached the body with him. She stood back and observed him as he took it all in and began to memorize the complexities of the scene. She was either silent and thoughtful or chatting away with Lestrade and Donovan - who had warmed to her over the last year it seemed. She did not cry or shake, she was not fearful of the gore that she never directly looked at, but he could see the sadness in her features, a resolved frown to help in every possible way.

After dinner, they arrived at the morgue, meeting Lestrade, John, and Molly. Both of Molly and John had flashed their eager gazes between Kairi and Sherlock, who were allowing each other space and trying to ignore their friends' eager glances.

Sherlock knew they would quickly be approached and bombarded with questions revolving around their entanglement and he would be hard pressed to remain civil. It was not in his nature to even feel emotions, let alone discuss them. The fact that other people felt the need to be involved in his personal life was particularly repugnant. He was already stewing over the knowing glances he and Kairi had received upon arriving at the scene hand in hand. He would say he regretted the contact, but at this point in time, he couldn't. It was hard enough to return to his own bed last night and not break into her flat just to be near her. It was on odd feeling, having her in his presence again. It made him a bit desperate to hold onto her, as if she would disappear if he let her out of his sight.

He placed the cigarette between his lips, tasting the filter with his tongue and yearning for a light and his thoughts brought back to her. He was disappointed in hoping for the sweetness of Kairi's saliva as he flicked the tip of it between his teeth. He had managed to detach himself from her last night, allowing her a longer respite from their time together. It was infuriating, but the circumstances were far from something he could ask advice about. In this instance, he would defer completely to her. She did not seem hesitant to kiss him or to touch him, even if the contact could be brief and fairly tenuous. However, if it continued in this vein for much longer, her desire to  _take things slowly_  was one that would end up driving him mad.

He had spent a year away from her, woken from barely restful nights of sleep to images of her beneath him, on top of him, next to him, she seemed to occupy every crevice within his mind. He did not dream of the time spent with Moran, he tried to keep such memories at bay, other than to know they were there and to be wary of them. It was not how he saw Kairi, broken and scared, no, he saw her as much more. He saw her as determined and caring, despite her first hand experience with the depraved nature of humanity. She was unique in many ways, from her furious stubbornness to her insistent empathy for others. For some reason, she could love him, she could forgive his mordant temperament and his volatile lifestyle that so many took exception to. She was a beacon, no longer hiding between the planes of a sordid existence and an imaginary life. He could see that in her now, her determination to live, not just survive.

He sat up and placed the cigarette on his tea-table and rummaged his mobile from the pockets of his dressing gown. He typed up a short message and waited patiently, his fingers steepled while he half thought over the case of The Sandman.

Not too long after the text, the bell to Baker Street buzzed and he trotted downstairs to open the door. The gangly, unkempt young man walked in behind him, shuffling his feet in worn sneakers. He followed Sherlock slowly up the steps and through the entrance of 221B.

"Please don't sit, this will be brief." Sherlock muttered as he stalked to the window, turning in front of it to face his company. "I'd like you to apprise me fully on your target."

The young man shifted, pulling at his oversized jacket, marred with dirt from the streets on London, "Well Mr. 'Olmes, since you've been away she'd been keeping plenty busy."

"Doing?" Sherlock narrowed his vision at the man standing there, scratching at his beard, flakes of skin coming off with each downward scrape of his nails.

"Working for your brother is one thing. Keeps tea with Mrs. Hudson most afternoons she's not working. She's been round to Bart's a lot for lunches with Dr. Hooper, talking with Dr. Watson when there's time." He glanced around Baker Street with wide eyes. "Watson wasn't too thrilled to move out, you know."

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "He'll be married soon," he spat with slight disgust, "It's no surprise that he must remove himself from Baker Street. The other option, Molly moving here, would have resulted in my ultimate demise. Estrogen is already overwhelming, it doesn't need Molly's exuberance."

The man sort of chuckled, "Yeah, lucky one you are, that Kairi -,"

"Ms. Aria." Sherlock interjected with a level tone.

"Right," the man huffed begrudgingly, "Ms. Aria is a nice bird. She somehow manages to get your brother to not be such a raging prick and she's real good with the kids."

Sherlock turned away again, "Have you noticed anyone taking particular interest in her?"

The man shrugged and scratched at the hair on his head this time, "Well aside from that copper she's been seen with, she's been keeping things relatively close, if you catch my meaning."

Sherlock looked back over his shoulder, "No, elaborate."

"Aside from when you first tasked me to watch for her, she's not really gone out much. Except for with Molly, John, and more recently, the detective inspector." He clarified.

Sherlock glared down at Baker Street through the window for a moment and let out a terse breath, he inhaled again as thoughts plagued him and turned sharply to face the vagrant, "Hm. How so?"

"Well, 'es been round a bit. Spent the night a few times back when Ms. Aria's mother passed. It was a dark time then, she was real torn up. The copper was almost always with her if they weren't working."

Sherlock scowled, a cold ferocity began to course through his veins. Inspector Lestrade, it seemed, had taken up residence with Kairi in the form of a companion. How far this relationship seemed to stretch was something that weighed on him heavily. Judging by their interaction the night before, remaining distant when they had always been rather physical and affectionate, it seemed there was something he was missing.

He wanted to ignore the pointed non-glances, the fact that Kairi shifted uncomfortably at his side when they all first laid eyes on one another, and the most infuriating aspect he had quashed was the not so subtle glance Lestrade had given her. The inspector was the most obvious: widened pupils, the thrum of his pulse against his neck was almost staggering when Kairi approached, not to mention the slight sweatiness of his hands. Kairi and Lestrade's movements easily fed off one another and they moved like people who knew and cared for one another greatly. All of these tiny factors were clicking away in Sherlock's mind and driving him into a white-hot rage.

"But her job's good. Seems the kids and her co-workers like'er." He interrupted Sherlock's inner seething, "No one shady — other than myself and Mel — hanging about."

Sherlock nodded in response, clearing his throat to push away his thoughts. "Good."

"Now that you're back, you want me to keep on her?"

Sherlock eyed the man, "Yes Wiggins, it's of utmost importance that she be kept under surveillance."

Wiggins nodded, then raked a hand through his hair, "You mind if me or Mel rolls by in a few days for a bath?"

Sherlock shook his head, "No, that's fine. I'm well aware you were doing it in my absence anyway."

Wiggins grinned a little sheepishly, "Yeah, sorry, I guess. Don't have many options for abandoned homes with working 'eat and water. It's a shame they tossed all your things. I was working my way through your fridge before it all went up."

Sherlock felt indignation broil through him when he thought of the experiments he lost in his time away. He looked at Wiggins with a cold stare and nodded, "As per our agreement."

Wiggins nodded in response, "Yeah, I'll update you if anything happens. Mel's on'er today. Got some gig with your brother at a real uppity type place. Investments or something."

Sherlock nodded, "Good day Wiggins."

"Good day Mr. 'Olmes." He muttered and was gone.

Sherlock paced momentarily, trying to quell the absurd jealousy raging within him. Nights spent alone, affectionate touching, signs of attraction, and awkward physical interactions; all of these things pointed towards one painful possibility.

One which he had to investigate right at this very moment while his suspect was away. Cold logic gripped him fully, quashing the torrents of anger that licked at his belly. He turned sharply and resolved to doing what he did best: discovering the truth.

* * *

"So, this is just a temporary assignment?" Kairi smiled, leaning slightly towards Mycroft in the back of one of his numerous sleek vehicles.

Mycroft, as always, looked slightly annoyed that she decided to waste oxygen in order to speak, "Yes, call it a favor."

Kairi's eyes went wide in surprise, "Whoa, are you telling me this is out of the goodness of your heart? I don't imagine you being big on owing anyone anything — much less a favor."

He gave her a pedantic sort of glare, "The client's father was a good friend of the British government and the family has gone through a great deal recently. My employer believes your expertise would be helpful in this situation."

Kairi let an eyebrow rise, " _My employer_." She joked, "I love it when you talk about yourself in the third person." He shot her a glare and she tried not to chuckle, he was supposed to be imposing, "It's not that I don't mind doing things for people in need or anything. I just haven't been on a house call in a while. I'm nervous that I've become feral without proper company around."

Mycroft let out a very soft snort, which was the closest he ever really got to a laugh, and gave her a knowing eye, "I would hope that you would purport yourself in a respectful manner."

"I'll keep my clothes on and refrain from stealing things, if that's what you mean." She smiled wide at Mycroft who rolled his eyes at her.

"One can only hope." He drawled and she just chuckled.

"So, Mr. Wentworth is the current C.E.O. of Plutus Investment Inc. and he needs to create a secure home network?" Kairi looked down at the very limited docket Mycroft had provided. It had basic information regarding Plutus Investment Inc., a well-renowned and world-wide firm that handled a lot of things Kairi had absolutely no interest in whatsoever. Banking and financials made her a bit sick to her stomach when she thought too much about it, but she at least understood the necessity for top-notch security whilst dealing with insane amounts of money and people's life savings.

"Yes," Mycroft nodded, "it's within my limited scope of care that Mr. Wentworth get the absolute best team for his needs."

Kairi thought hard for a moment and then beamed suddenly, leaning over and nudging Mycroft's knees with her knuckles, "Awwww, you said I'm the best."

He rolled his eyes again and shifted dramatically away from her touch, "You will be working with a team of computer professionals in order to make this system as seamless and safe as possible."

Kairi chuckled, "Sure thing Mycroft."

"We've almost arrived, make yourself presentable." Mycroft nodded to Kairi who gave him a sour sort of look. He sighed, "Get your fanatical sort of behavior out of the way now, so you don't act irresponsibly in front of your temporary employer."

Kairi scowled and then took a moment to look out of the window as they turned into the wide and long driveway somewhere in Oxford. That was when she allowed herself a gasp. Her hands planted themselves on the window and her nose pressed against the cold glass as she took in the Manor style home that they slowly approached. The gravel driveway beneath them was lined by large, pristine grass that stretched out to wooded areas on one side and an expanse of river on the other. The entire scene looked like something that was hand crafted from a Jane Austen novel and Kairi felt her heart fluttering in her chest. Regal fountains sat on either side of the drive, spouting water that shot up twenty or so feet into the air. Kairi would've tried to remember what it was in meters, but she was too busy freaking out about the main house to care.

The manor itself was resplendent: beautiful and captivating, while still leaning towards an air of intimidation and power. The thing somehow reeked of prestige and importance while seeming elegant and welcoming. If Kairi could ever live in a Manor house, it would be this one. With its almost cream-colored stone that shone brightly in the sunlight like the sands of a tropical beach and glittering windows like the ocean reflecting its rays, she could practically see herself walking the grounds, hand in hand with Mr. Darcy — Firth or Macfayden. She sighed heavily, allowing herself to gush and be embarrassing in front of Mycroft, because he had definitely seen her much worse. She would do as Mycroft told her to do. She'd get the embarrassing poor-romantic-girl routine out of her system so she could be professional and presentable for this new project manager.

The car parked in the large driveway and a man emerged from the home, older and slimmer with a stony expression on his face. He was a very unnoticeable man, long of face and body, with plain features and skin almost the same shade as his hair, combed in a side part across his skull. Kairi gave one last good shake to her limbs and cleared her throat, instantaneously making the shift between personal and professional. She sat patiently waiting for her door to open, her hands folded on her lap and her ankles crossed to the side. Mycroft climbed out of the car first and made his way around the vehicle where Kairi's door was opened by the faceless man. Mycroft offered a hand and she took it, guiding herself from the car with a grace only reserved for situations like this.

Guided through the illustrious halls of the manor in silence, Kairi was doing her best to keep in the girlish squeals and fawning sighs that wished to escape her lips. She was doing her damnedest to ignore the thoughts of grand gowns flowing around her ankles as she ran through the halls, hand in hand with some dark-haired man who read her sonnets and bought her ribbons. It was an entirely girlish fantasy that had consumed her wholly upon walking through the doors, inhaling the pungent history of the Wentworth family that she knew nothing about. Save for the fact that they were old, old money from a long and powerful line of British pageantry. She was desperately fighting the romanticism.

Mycroft nodded to her and Kairi hoped that it was an approving nod and she was behaving within his set parameters of "respectful" and giving "trashy American" a wide berth. She followed him into a very large room set up as an office. Before her jaw had a chance to drop, she clenched it shut and tried not to look at the vast amount of books lining the shelves or the gorgeous woodworking carved into the walls of the study. This was the most gorgeous room she'd ever stepped foot in. She was expecting a man in an Ascot, swirling a snifter of brandy with a pipe hanging from his be-mutton-chopped maw to step forward and claim ownership to the land.

Almost painfully clashing with the atmosphere, was the set up at the far end of the room that gave Kairi a set of tingles for a different reason. A large, wooden desk had atop it a littering of some of the most expensive machinery known to mankind. The computer tower on the desktop was tall and sleek and barely made a sound as she approached it, connected to the most expensive and highest quality monitor Kairi had ever seen. She let a smile escape her, knowing that these even out shined some of Mycroft's fanciest machines. One of which nestled comfortably in the leather bag hanging from her shoulder.

As they approached, Kairi finally realized that there were actually humans in the room as well and she was now being introduced to them.

"Mr. Wentworth, it's a pleasure to see you again, despite the circumstances." Mycroft smiled as he reached his hand out to greet Kairi's newest employer.

Kairi had to do her jaw clenching again when she took in the youngish man who was turning to greet them. He was tall and slim and dressed impeccably in a cream-colored suit that clung to his frame with absolute perfection. She felt her heart hammer about in her chest and did her best to shield herself from Mycroft's glances. The last thing she needed was her boyfriend's brother mentioning the attractiveness of her new employer and how it affected her. She was human for christ's sake, she had no control over who she found aesthetically pleasing! It wasn't her fault that they didn't notice things like that.

"Ah," Mr. Wentworth intoned upon seeing Mycroft, "My apologies for not meeting you at the door. I was in here discussing the project with Mr. Givers, who just stepped out. It's always a pleasure Mr. Holmes." He smiled wide and genuine, with perfect white teeth, his gently tanned face bearing slight stubble that suggested a ruggedness he probably did not have. His face was one of the most welcoming things Kairi had ever seen, with a strong, straight nose over amazing lips that caused her chest to tighten. His green eyes were gentle and caring upon first glance, disarming her completely, and resting upon the prominent apples of his cheeks that stood out when he smiled. His relatively short chestnut hair sat shaggily upon his head, giving him a boyish and friendly bearing. He was absolutely gorgeous and Kairi felt horribly uncomfortable with her boyfriend's brother standing next to her, putting her in this position.

"Mr. Wentworth, I'd like to introduce you to Ms. Kairi Aria. She is the one that I've told you about." Mycroft smiled, gesturing for Kairi to step forward.

Doing her best impression of a mature adult, Kairi stepped forward with a soft smile, reaching her hand towards Mr. Wentworth and trying her hardest to ignore the spark of recognition and excitement on his face and the horror in her gut registering that Mycroft had been talking to people about her. Especially wickedly-handsome-rich-men-who-live-in-Mr.-Darcy-houses type of people. "Absolute pleasure to meet you and I thank you for the opportunity to work with you as well."

He gripped her hand and gave her a slight chuckle, "Ah, the brilliant American!" He beamed and Kairi tried not to blush as he moved closer to her, taking her in but doing it in a way that didn't make Kairi uncomfortable, "I'm sure you'll have my problems fixed in no time, with the way Mycroft talks about you."

Kairi smiled as he squeezed her hand, warming her a bit and causing her to bite back her furious blush, "Oh thank you sir, I'm happy to help in any way that I can."

He waved his large hand at her, treating her casually and friendly, "Pft, please, don't bother with that 'sir' business, call me Terrence." He smiled and then gestured to the computer set up behind him, "You'll meet Mr. Givers in a moment, you'll be working with him most of the time. He's my main tech at Plutus so he'll be helping with navigating through all of our, uh, well, whatever it is."

"Servers?" Kairi chuckled and Terrence walked her over to the desk.

"Yeah, that." He joked and then glanced back to Mycroft, "Mycroft, the study down the hall is available if you'd like to stay and wait for Ms. Aria to finish. Otherwise, I have a car that can take her back into the city when we are done here."

Kairi glanced to Mycroft who looked still and stoic as always, he eyed her for a brief second and she smiled and gave him an almost imperceptible nod. "Thank you Mr. Wentworth," He gave a small bow to Terrence, "I do have some business to attend to back in the city and I'm sure Ms. Aria will be fine without my supervision."

She tried to keep her eyebrow in check at the teasing and she was shocked out of her minuscule seething fit by Terrence's hearty chuckle, "I'm sure she's more than capable Mycroft. You wouldn't have brought her if not."

Kairi gave Mycroft the sweetish smile she could muster while delivering her backhanded statement, "Yes Mr. Holmes, I'm very capable of keeping your offices afloat through everything it sees. I'm sure this will be a walk in the park in comparison. I'll try to be speedy so you won't be without me too long."

Terrence chuckled, "Oh, she's cheeky."

Mycroft gave her a pedantic grin, devoid of all warmth, "Charming as always Ms. Aria."

Kairi nodded, "I've learned from the best, Mr. Holmes."

Mycroft fought the grin on his lips and he turned to Terrence and nodded slightly, "Good day."

Terrence beamed again, "Have a good trip Mycroft." And as Mycroft left, Terrence turned back to Kairi and smiled at her again, "I have to admit that's the closest I've seen Mycroft behaving like a human in my entire experience with him."

Kairi chuckled, "Oh, don't get any ideas of him going soft, I've simply worked very closely with him for some time and we get along outside of work." Kairi's eyes widened to saucers at the implication and then sputtered, "I mean I know his family! Not that we…" She put her face in her hands, "Oh, god."

Terrence chuckled and then gestured to the computer, "Well, I don't need you to be eloquent, I just need you to fix this for me. From what I've heard, I'm not too worried."

Kairi smiled as they walked over and stood behind the hulking desk, "You really should feel a bit honored, I think that's the longest amount of time I've ever behaved professionally in my entire life. I'm a terrible adult."

He grinned at her, his eyes shining as he took her in, leaning against the desk with such a casual tilt that she'd almost think it was practiced, "Well, that is something I can definitely understand. Being an adult is hellishly boring."

Kairi smiled and when her eyes met his there was a painful sort of spark that flew through her system. The broiling shame in her gut caused her to turn sharply to place her bag on the desk, ignoring the moment of unbridled sexual attraction. She cleared her throat, hoping that she wasn't glowing red with embarrassment. She so desperately needed to get laid. She wanted Sherlock, she knew that and had no doubts about it, but her caged lust was seeping out and starting to infect all aspects of her life. Some nights, her toaster was starting to look pretty good.

At that moment another man walked in. He wasn't nearly as tall as Terrence but he was taller than Kairi - which really isn't that difficult to manage. He was dressed rather casually, in black slacks and a sweater vest over an Oxford shirt. He had ginger hair and a freckled face that was attractive enough, but standing next to Terrence Wentworth made just about anyone look plain. Kairi smiled gently at the new man, trying not to think about all of the testosterone in the room that seemed to be strangling her, as Terrence cleared his throat and stood to his full height.

"Ms. Aria, this is Mr. Henry Givers." Terrence smiled and Henry walked behind the desk and over to Kairi, looking nervous.

"Hello Mr. Givers, please call me Kairi, It's a pleasure to meet you." She smiled wide and reached out a hand. He took it slowly, licking his lips as his eyes flashed up and down her body very quickly. Kairi tried to ignore it. It wasn't easy to hide a curvaceous frame, even when wearing modest clothes. Soon enough she'd establish that she wasn't just some buxom bimbo. It just so happened her brain had somewhat of an attractive casing — something she was fine with admitting these days.

"Hello Kairi, please call me Henry, nice to meet you too." He added in an accent Kairi was sure was Scottish. Her heart gave a happy little leap at that, though her guilt increased ten-fold. He pulled out his own laptop and went around the desk to sit in the chairs on the opposite side. Kairi followed suit, brushing past Terrence who gave her an awkward sort of nod, just trying to be friendly as he made room for her to maneuver, but it ended up looking devilishly charming. Kairi stifled her screaming hormones and sat next to Henry who gave her his own sort of acknowledgement in the form of nervously wandering eyes.

Terrence eyed them both as he leaned his hands on the desk, looking very business-like suddenly, "Now that you're both here, I suppose we can start discussing what I need from my computer system at home. Thing is, I have to be able to access all of my information from my study as if it were my station at work. Because of the nature of the business, I also need it to be completely and utterly secured. I don't want to handle any client's information without perfectly ensuring its protection and safety."

Henry nodded and began typing away, Kairi sat a little nervously, not hearing anything to warrant taking notes and feeling like a child in class who was missing the point. So she looked back up at Terrence who was staring down at his computer and her fingers twitched in her lap.

"Well, the simplest option would be a remote desktop." Henry stated but Kairi wasn't so sure she agreed.

"That would give me access to all of my information on my work computer?" Terrence looked to Henry who was busily typing away.

Kairi felt a little silly at her nervousness, but decided to pipe up, "It can, but depending on your safety restrictions they can be a huge pain to deal with. I'd like to take a look at both systems if possible, it can give me a better idea of what I can do and what we are dealing with. I'm guessing that Henry has a very high level of security already in place at your office. I wouldn't want a remote desktop to mess with what's already in place."

"That's somewhat true." Henry sounded sincere, if maybe a tinge annoyed as he stopped typing and flashed a nervous glance at her. He cleared his throat and went back to typing, "We can probably arrange for you to come by later this week or early next week."

"I can make that happen." Kairi smiled and then looked to Terrence, "Is your main office in London?"

He nodded to her, "It is. I'll phone Mycroft sometime and see when he can let you go."

Kairi replied, "That should be fine. I also work part-time at a school, so either early morning or late afternoon, after five p.m., would be best for me."

Henry was still clicking at his keyboard, "Late afternoon or evening might be the best time, that way we wont interfere with any of the servers during the mid-day traffic."

"Sure, I'm guessing you guys do mountains of business each day, I wouldn't want to disrupt it too much." She smiled at Henry and he grinned back, a tilt to his eyes that made Kairi want to blush. She must be secreting pheromones with Sherlock back in town. That's always how it seemed to go with people, they started noticing you when you were already with someone. How annoying.

"It shouldn't be a huge problem, Kairi." He glanced back at his laptop and typed into it again. After a minute of silence, he continued on a different vein, "I'm thinking HOB would be a good option for software — at least a base for something if we decide to build from scratch."

Kairi thought on that. Though building software from nothing would probably take a good amount of time, especially something she was only half working on, it would be the wisest course. "I think building from the ground up might be best." She looked over to Terrence who was watching them both intently, "It may take just a bit longer, but in the end you will have something perfectly tailored to your needs."

"How long do you think?" Terrence looked at Kairi now. His heavy eyebrows furrowed as he focused on her, genuinely interested in what she was saying and not just eyeing her like a piece of meat.

The idea made Kairi a little giddy. It was difficult for women to break through the glass ceiling, especially in technology fields, but here she was, basking in her competence and having other's recognize it. She decided to shelf those thoughts for later and she replied, "Well, I can give you a better estimation once I get a view of your systems in-house, but when will you need it?"

She watched Terrence purse his lips, a shadow forming over his features for a moment as he looked just a bit sad, "Six weeks. That's when my presence will be required at home for the unforeseeable future."

Kairi nodded, "I think six weeks is possible, but I'd have to probably devote a lot more time to it. Unless Henry here is familiar with writing software?"

He shook his head, blushing a bit, "Not from the ground up. I was hoping we'd be able to find something purchasable that would fit our needs, but you bring up a valid point with security concerns."

Kairi tried to quash the grin itching for dominance on her features, "Well, I'm sure that I can find someone to replace me at the school for a few weeks, I can talk to Mycroft about days he thinks he will need me, but otherwise I'll do my best to get this ready for you in six weeks. Looks like I'm the commodity you need to purchase and it's just your luck that I'm for sale." It took her a few seconds to realize the idiocy of her comment and her grin immediately vanished.

Terrence nodded, still looking a bit wan but chuckled at her, "Good to know. Thank you."

Kairi smiled stupidly, "Uh, you're welcome. Would you mind if I hunted around a bit on your computer to see what I'll be dealing with?"

Terrence smiled wide and gestured to the computer, "Yes of course, please take your time."

Kairi nodded and stood, carrying her laptop over and setting it next to the expensive, ergo dynamic keyboard like the one she had in Mycroft's office. "While I do this, Henry, would you mind getting me some basic information regarding the security protocols at Plutus?"

He smiled at her, "Working on it now."

She looked up at him and smiled back, "Thank you." She pulled out her glasses and slid them onto her face before leaning over the computer and beginning her process. She closed herself off to the conversation Terrence and Henry were having regarding system information that could be supplied without threatening the integrity of their security.

Kairi delved deeper into the machine, examining what she'd be working with and how to utilize it in the most efficient way. It was a very nice computer, set up with hardware to make even the most skeptical PC gamer drool with delight. It was a workhorse, but sleek and upgraded for maximum performance. Someone paid good money for this machine to function as perfectly as possible and she was thankful for it. It was running the newest version of all softwares that would be good to have for a businessman and Kairi felt like it would not cause her many problems in the future. She'd like to open it up and take a look at the guts, but she would probably save that for a day she was working alone. She didn't want to freak out Terrence by going Dr. Frankenstein on this beautiful monster.

"You know, would it be possible to head into your offices today? Just so I can take a look at what I'll be dealing with. I'll still need to pop in next week for a more in-depth glimpse at your software and servers, as well as discussing precisely what functionality you require, but this might give me a chance to clarify what I'll need to start mapping out a course of action." She glanced up at Terrence whose face was open and kind and then to Henry who was gazing at her almost reverently.

"Yes, I think we can arrange that." Terrence smiled, "We can take my car."

"I'll ride with you." Henry seemed to jump at the opportunity and then he shifted, blushing nervously while he glanced at Kairi, "Oh, but my car is here."

Terrence tried not to chuckle, "You'll follow us then?" Henry nodded, looking a bit dejected, but recovered with a clearing of this throat and straightening his posture before nodding.

After gathering their items, Kairi slid on her coat and her trusty bag over her shoulder as Terrence guided her through the home towards his garage with Henry following a bit behind.

"Your home is lovely." Kairi smiled as they walked.

"Thank you, it's been in my family since before historians can remember. I believe a great great great great granddad was the one who commissioned it." He glanced at her with a nervous grin, "Not too ostentatious?"

Kairi chuckled, "Well it's historical. History is known for being a bit eager to impress. It's not as if it's the only Manor in existence. I have to admit, though, its breath-taking. Lavish maybe, but not pretentious." She said as she glanced around the marble halls, "Not that I've been in a lot of homes like this, but it's very nice. I imagine growing up here was a unique experience."

He chuckled a bit, "Well that's what you could call it. I grew up in the lifestyle old money buys. I had horse riding lessons, we went hunting constantly, swim courses, and dance classes. My siblings and I had etiquette training and all that — fat lot of good it did me." He gave her a wry smile and Kairi tried not to enjoy it.

"Where are your siblings then? I imagine your lives gave you great opportunities." She smiled wide, interested to hear what kind of things his family accomplished.

He cleared his throat and the shadow across his features returned, "My brother passed away a long time ago and my sister is in school at the moment trying to figure out her life." He gave her a sad smile.

Kairi frowned, "Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." She reached out her hand and placed it gently on his shoulder and he gave her a thankful glance when he realized she wasn't going to question him further on the topic.

"Thank you." He nodded and then opened a fancy looking door, "This way please."

Kairi walked in, followed by Henry and Terrence. She couldn't help the slack jaw as she gazed out at the largest collection of vehicles she'd ever personally laid eyes on. Her father had been a big car buff and so she had a vague familiarity with a lot of classic and luxury vehicles. However, her interest generally waned after the classification of fast and pretty. The collection was not disappointing in that department and she looked back at Terrence who seemed to blush.

"My, this is an impressive collection of vehicles." She sounded a bit breathless staring out at the millions of dollars worth of horsepower within the garage's walls.

He chuckled, "Yes, my father was a big car man. I tend to only care if it runs nicely and has a nice sound while I'm accelerating."

Kairi smiled, "Yeah, my dad was into cars as well. I'm in the same boat as you though, if it looks nice and goes  _zoom_ , I'm pretty much sold."

Terrence chuckled at her again and turned to Henry who was looking a bit bitter at being left out of the conversation, "Henry, you like cars don't you?"

His head shot up at the mention of his name and he looked to Kairi with a gleam in his eye, "Yeah, I've always been into cars since I was a kid —parents weren't too eager about that. I love taking engines apart and seeing how they run and all that."

Kairi smiled, "That's awesome! Get me inside a computer and I'll show you some magic, hand me a wrench and tell me to fix a carburetor and I'm lost."

Henry nodded, "Well at least you know what a carburetor is."

Kairi chuckled, "Sorry, I know it  _exists_ , but I couldn't tell you what it looks like if you paid me."

He smiled wide, his pale cheeks flushing a bit as he looked at her. The younger man seemed to be a bit taken by her and Kairi did her best to be nice, but not too inviting. Its one thing to entertain the idea of a cute accented co-worker or her handsome temp-boss, but giving into those ideas when she had a boyfriend was not something she was comfortable with. It's perfectly fine for attraction to occur, but letting those feelings affect you is when things went awry.

"Well, let's get going, it's going to take us an hour or so to get back into the city. Thankfully we will be missing traffic." Terrence grinned and ushered Kairi over to a gun-metal grey car that made something in her pants set fire. "I hope you don't mind, this one is my favorite."

"Do I mind?" Kairi beamed, practically shaking with excitement and then she paused and tried to regain her composure, "It's a Ferrari 575!" She wasn't doing a very good job at it. Terrence chuckled as Henry sort of slinked away to hop into his BMW M5, "Oh a M5! I'll ride with you next time! I had a friend in school who was obsessed with those." She directed her statement at Henry who turned back to flash her an excited smile before getting into his black car with a grin on his face, feeling a little bit cooler.

Terrence smiled back at Kairi, "You ready?"

She was positively vibrating, "Hell yeah."

"Now you sound like a real American." He chuckled as he opened her door. She got in and inspected the interior, appreciative and ecstatic to see a proper manual resting on the middle panel of the car. Terrence walked around the car with long strides and a boyish grin on his features before he slid in, all long legs and fit arms sitting and looking perfectly happy behind the wheel of the beast. "Shall we?"

Kairi tried not to be too giddy as nodded ecstatically, sitting in a car worth more than all of her life savings that she knew went really, really fast, thanks to Mr. Jeremy Clarkson.

On the drive over, Terrence showcased a bit of know how while driving and Kairi was elated. She would love to get behind the wheel, but driving a machine like this would probably cause her to go into a full-fledged panic attack. She could drive manual easily, though she'd been out of practice since living in London for the past few years. She enjoyed walking when it wasn't pissing rain and usually, if she had to be into work with Mycroft on a stormy day, he'd send a car around to pick her up. It was nice having fancy jobs where she got to ride around in Bentleys and Ferarris all day long. Sure beats boiling frozen thumbs.

"So, Kairi is an odd name for an American." Terrence finally piped up over the purr of the engine.

Kairi chuckled, "My mom got to name me and she was an imaginative person. Kairi is french for melody or song. My dad got to name my sister and she's Heather. He was less imaginative if you can't tell, I think it was his mother's middle name."

Terrence let out a chuckle at that, "Well it's not bad having a unique name. I am Terrence Arthur Wentworth the somethingth. A traditional, family name passed down for generations."

Kairi smiled, "It's a nice name, strong and sounds imposing."

He shot her a quick grin as they zoomed down the country roads away from his home. "Ah, I'm not too scary."

Kairi chuckled, "No, not really. I've met much worse."

He laughed at that and then gave her an appreciative smile, "Ha! Knock me down a peg or two. Either way, thanks for being so nice to Henry. He's a very smart young man and I'm happy to have him. He can get a bit…" Terrence paused and glanced to Kairi, "Well, he can be a bit intense with some people. He's a great kid, though, absolutely brilliant but his personality can suffer some. I recruited after my father's passing and he worked his way up through IT the last five years."

Kairi nodded, "Sounds impressive. It's not the first time an IT professional was a bit dumbstruck by me showing up. It's unusual for women to get into technical fields and it's only been recently that I've been able to sort of fan out and lend my expertise in meaningful ways. He's what? Mid twenties maybe? It was dumb luck that landed me a spot with Mycroft, so Henry deserves the accolades if he's worked his way up the ladder that quickly."

Terrence nodded, "Well it isn't dumb luck that you come so highly recommended and I think he may just be a bit amazed, hearing your qualifications. Like you said, the technical work environment isn't exactly overflowing with beautiful women who know what they're talking about." He halted his speech and cleared his throat, looking at Kairi in shock, "Oh I'm so sorry. Forgive me, that was horribly inappropriate."

Kairi shifted in her seat a bit nervously, "It's… Well, yes, a bit, but I'm not upset."

He looked fully ashamed now, "I really apologize, it's absolutely unacceptable addressing you like that. You are an attractive woman, but that's not…Oh, damn."

Kairi chuckled, "Thank you for your apology. I'm not ignorant to my looks or my style. I know it's not precisely what people envision when they think of a computer specialist. However, I don't merit my abilities based on my looks. I base them on my skills and I am the best at what I do."

Terrence cleared his throat again, "Yes, you came recommended for your skills, nothing else, I assure you of that."

Kairi sort of chuckled a bit, feeling sorry for Terrence's blunder, "Well, I should have. Mycroft wouldn't know a pretty woman if she head-butted him."

Terrence sputtered out a laugh, "Well, that may be true." He joked.

They sat in semi-silence for the rest of the way, piping up here and there with small bits of conversation that eased back into thoughtful silence. Kairi tried not to look over at Terrence too much. It wasn't as if she could really fault him for what he said. She'd found him wickedly attractive as well and it was just her ability to keep her mouth shut that separated them. Well, that and the fact that Kairi had an almost boyfriend who just returned from a year of being abroad in some god awful place and she had towers of crazy to sort through. She tried to clear her mind, shoveling away her personal issues until an appropriate time to deal with later. The last thing she needed was to think of Sherlock and missing him and kissing him and…

Oh hell, she was getting all worked up with the hum of the engine, the beautiful man sitting next to her, and thoughts about the man she loved all dancing to a samba of hormones in her blood stream.

She couldn't wait until after work when she could have a drink with Molly, John, and Lestrade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> Hooray! Another chapter down! I know this seems like filler, but it will be important for the plot along the way, I swear. What do you think of Henry? Of Terrence? I imagine Henry as sort of Simon Woods ish (Pride & Prejudice 2005, Mr. Bingley) and Terrence is of course Lee Pace (Pushing Dasies, Thrandruil, because reasons *drools*)... I don't know if you like "casting" or not and if I ruined it, I apologize, I'll keep my stupid mouth shut next time.
> 
> I hope to hear all about your thoughts and interpretations about the scene of Sherlock and Wiggins (YAAAAAAY WIGGINS!) as these next few chapters will be much to think about. Like I said, I'm not a spoiler, but I'll answer any questions you have in vague attempts to placate some of you ;D
> 
> Still waiting until I publish smutlock! Perhaps if we get a bit of activity on this chapter, I can give you a TEENSY sneak preview for it! Either way, another chapter next week!
> 
> Hope all is well with you my Holmies. Take care!


	6. Chapter 6

Sherlock opened the easily picked lock of the flat and walked inside, a simmering sort of anger was heating his veins as his feet took deliberate steps. He stood in the center of the room, letting himself take in the small reminder of sentiment that the owner supplied. He inhaled slightly, smelling the stale aroma of persons being recently present. It was the sort of smell that tickled a familiarity in his nose, the odor of skin, soap, and tinge of sweat, all mingling together with the sharp pang of coffee. He closed his eyes for a moment and took in another deep inhale, not noticing any scent out-of-place. As he opened his eyes and glanced around again, he felt the familiar adrenaline surge through him, heightening his senses, sharpening his sight as if to capture everything in perfect completion.

He took mild steps to the sitting area and stared at the arrangement for a moment, observing every inch of couch and the dark wood of the tea-table. He walked slowly, brushing his gloved fingers over the soft material, looking for anything that would support or refute his suspicions. He circled the piece of furniture, dipping his face close to the corduroy, his eyes ticking over every single cord of twisted fiber. Along one side of the headrest, closest to the armrest, he noticed strands of hair curled in on each other. Knotted together as one, proving their presence for some time, as if they had been sat upon and rubbed against to mangle their natural state of ease. Their presence was not completely surprising, but heat spiked in his gut nonetheless, and he felt himself clench the padded material of the couch.

He straightened to his full height and stepped in front of the couch, adjusting his position to mimic the tenant and sat down in the same spot, lifting his feet to simulate a lounging person. He placed his heels on the coffee table and felt the edge of it dig into the top of his Achilles tendon. He let his head fall back a moment, wiggling himself into a relaxed pose and he took a deep breath as he sat for a few beats of silence. He fully felt his setting, trying to imitate the countenance of the resident and their possible guests with his body. He exhaled raggedly, recoiling his muscles and tightening his frame to its usual configuration before standing and walking away from the couch to head towards the kitchen.

He walked through the familiar area, opening cabinet doors and inspecting the contents, rummaging slightly and placing things back to their exact location. Everything that was within the shelves seemed to coincide with his theory and fit the tastes of the owner of the flat. Cereal, pasta, all sorts of dried and canned items meant to last a while. Nothing too fresh, as that would not fit in with a person who worked a lot and was away from their home most days.

He found what he was reluctantly searching for in the cabinet adjacent to the fridge. There was a small rack there, fitted with bottles of red wine that ranged from cheap to moderately expensive. Probably meant to be saved for celebratory instances. His blood went from simmering to boiling in a few moments as he walked over to the cabinet he previously saw wine glasses in. He inspected them closely this time, noticing that there were shallow, smaller white wine glasses, rarely used, but most likely purchased for company. The ones that held most of his interest were two tall and wide Pinot Noir glasses. He pulled one out and held it up to the light filtering in from the windows. The clear, cheap glasses were dusted with accumulated water spots. He gripped the wood of the cabinet with deadly force, the grain creaking beneath his fingertips, like his heart seemed to careen in the grip of his rage. He placed the glass back inside the cabinet, turning it just so, to match its previous position.

He felt a growl forming in his chest and he slammed the cabinet with so much force that the glasses within rattled and clanged together. He took a deep breath, flexing and rolling his shoulders, trying desperately to ease the tension that was fueled by his anger. He looked around the apartment, one he had stolen into many times before, one that he had used to his advantage when a particular person was being annoying. At this point, the rage, welling within his gut and clamping down on the lungs within his chest, was beginning to blind him. He shook his head, his cropped curls falling onto his forehead and he reached up with a shaking hand to push them away from the clammy skin. For a moment, he felt like gripping the curls and shouting, expelling the warring emotions that threatened to choke him.

Snapshots of the last few days started to flow into his mind uninvited. He shut his eyes and decided to focus on them, picking out every definable detail he could from each moment. In such a short time, almost all had been revealed, but he was too dumbstruck, too distracted to notice them. The way mouths twitched, caused by the cadence of overwrought speech; the hesitant glance of anxious eyes; and distance between bodies so often held close and with affection. He seethed for a moment, berating himself for allowing such an insipid belief to completely overcome him. How could he, of all people, have been so stupid?

He stalked away from the kitchen, his feet leading his unfocused gaze in the direction of the room he least wanted to inspect. The knowledge found there would either release him from this turbulent vexation or fold within his mind and destroy him. When he centered himself, he was staring at an unmade bed, somewhat uncharacteristic of the resident, indicating the haste in which they left earlier in the morning. He stared at the messy sheets and took a step towards them. He wanted to examine them, but the lump in his throat caused him to stop himself. He couldn't, not at this moment. He turned sharply and walked over to the only other door in the bedroom.

His hand reached out, halting slightly before grasping the knob. The intellectual part of his brain urged him to reach forward, to grasp the cool metal and turn it, granting him access to a room that held the knowledge he would need to confirm his suspicion. However, this new part of him, the one he wanted to despise, but secretly cherished, begged him to turn and run away, to search himself for compassion and understanding. That part of him, the empathetic part, was knowingly whispering how the turn of the cold, brass knob could possibly be the turn of the knife in his back. It knew very well how this betrayal could bring him to his knees, bring his world crumbling down.

The moment of hesitation was gone as quickly as it came. He steeled himself, his demeanor going absolutely frigid against the welling of his heart. He would not be cowed by sentiment. His most important trait was this, the cold grip of logic, silencing the heat in his veins in one fell swoop. He gripped the knob and threw the door open, stepping inside and flipping on the light. His eyes took in the entire room, inspecting it closely as if a crime had been committed there. He stepped forward, closing in on the sink and knelt swiftly, whipping open the cabinets and finding the average components of a resident who lived a simple life.

As he pawed through the paltry contents, he reached out and his hand hit something that caused him pause. The plastic of the bag crinkled against his skin and he gripped the slick material and yanked it out, fear written out plainly on his features as he read the familiar script of a nearby store. He reached his hand in and his fingers touched two items, the smooth cardboard of a box and the cold, crisp paper of a receipt. He pulled both out and felt all the air in his lungs expel from his body with a dangerous force. Heat radiated through him as he gripped the box that almost went unnoticed and pulled it fully into his view.

He held the item in his grasp, staring down at the familiar thing which wielded a hefty metaphorical weight in his hand. He glanced at the receipt, his eyes moving rapidly over the pixelated text and he felt bile rise in his throat. The weight of his discovery struck him in the chest with so much force that he fell back, sitting heavily on his heels as his vision went blurry and his thoughts all sunk into the icy waters of his despair. He pulled in a wavering breath that stung his throat as he stared at the simple box and a worthless piece of paper that spelled his complete ruin. He placed the items back in the bag and his hand slowly extended and he placed the box back where it belonged.

He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at nothing and everything all at once. His heart seemed sluggish, tired within his chest and his stomach churned with an anxiety he had not felt in a very long time.

 _Hurt_.

He felt  _hurt_.

A cold wisp began to thread itself through his limbs, taking control of the weak appendages and standing him up, like a marionette on string. He gripped the countertop in his hands, the biting sensation prickling down to his fingertips as they strengthened their hold on the cool stone.

He stood straight, a slow breath escaping his clenched teeth as he adjusted his coat, all the while glaring at the weakling in the mirror. He stared into the reflection now, watching as the dark eyes mirrored the cold rage that sewed itself within his mind and body.

He turned in his usual manner, a stiffness to his frame that had been absent for some time. As he walked through the flat, ensuring that his presence would remain undetected, he slowly began to feel like his regular self again, ignoring the faltering heart within his chest and focusing only on the evidence at hand and the truth now revealed.

He looked around the apartment one last time with calm breaths. The familiar setting did nothing to him now, save causing disgust to come out as a sneer. He walked towards the exit, never intending to look back on the familiar home, and he opened the door with a flourish, slamming it behind him as he stalked towards the street to find a cab.

Although the rest of the activities did nothing to bother him, the slam of the door caused Toby to raise his head at his other master's hasty exit. He laid his head back down, closing his eyes and exhaling a deep breath, unaware that he was just witness to the second time Sherlock Holmes' heart broke.

* * *

"Oh, you can't actually believe that!" Kairi shrieked, hitting Lestrade on the shoulder as he sipped his beer, causing some to dribble out of his mouth. She sputtered out a laugh, Molly and John almost coughing up their drinks in response as they sat at the bar of Northumberland Arms, consuming a decent amount of booze.

It was a quaint little pub, sitting on the corner of Goodge and Charlotte Streets. A refined sort of dank place, established prior to any of the residents' being a twinkle in their parents' eyes. A bright red patterned ceiling expanded above them and locals littered the seats, enjoying the game and sipping on pints. It was all old woods and cushioned chairs that seemed to predate Kairi's life on earth. Smelling of pipe tobacco and cigars, though smoking had been outlawed indoors, the entire pub felt like another time, a time from long ago with waistcoats and brimmed hats and long sleek coats. It was dark and somewhat noisy, but it was perfect and lovely and they served Kairi's favorite beer: Dragonhead Stout. She knew it was a bit of a piss on the establishment that she didn't drink their ale on tap — at least that's what Lestrade kept telling her — but the stout was magnificent, plus, well…dragons.

She took a sip of her beer and Lestrade recovered gloriously, wiping his mouth with his sleeve as he chuckled, "No, I swear on me mum, the Irish bastard actually took down a pint glass like nothing. They do bottles of Guinness or some shit from the womb."

Kairi rolled her eyes at him and glanced at Molly and John who were chuckling. "You're just bitter because he drank you under the table." She threw back at Lestrade.

Lestrade shot her a dark look over the edge of his glass as he sipped.

"You know, I wouldn't be surprised, I had a man in my unit in Afghanistan, the night before a bunch of us were shipped off we all got pissed - so very pissed," John laughed, a small hint of sadness creeping in on the corner of his eye, "- he was pounding pints of some shit-beer like it was water."

Molly giggled, "My cousin is quite the drinker. One time, we all went to some high school party together and he got up on a table, and God bless him, the idiot had a pint of something horrid and he lifted it up, all ginger and freckled and yelled 'To an Irishman this isn't a pint glass it's a shot glass!'" She recanted in a horrible Irish accent, "and then he chugged it down in three seconds. I was mortified, but a little impressed."

"I don't know, I think I could put some of them away if I took them head on." Kairi chuckled.

"You would wisp away into nothing." John reproached her jokingly.

"Probably piss yourself too." Lestrade added with contained laughter and Kairi swatted at him.

"I used to be a formidable alcoholic until I started therapy and went all  _mentally stable_. I'd take you on!" She growled, poking a hard finger in Lestrade's chest and he grimaced, rubbing the tender spot left by her tiny digit.

"Oi! You don't want to challenge an Englishman, we've stepped up our game since the Irish started infringing on our football. We've got to keep them subdued somehow." Lestrade joked, "Look, they're trying to infiltrate by posing as cute little Americans now!" He trailed some fingers in Kairi's hair and she grabbed his hand and put it back in his lap, leaning towards him and laughing.

"Oh, football,  _football_." She mocked, "Give me a real man, one that plays rugby!"

Lestrade frowned, "Hey, I played rugby!"

Kairi shot him a pedantic sort of frown, "Give me a man that played rugby  _well_!"

He tutted at her and turned back to the game, sipping on his beer as Molly and John laughed.

"So," Kairi turned and eye the would-be bride and her groom, "you guys have what? Seven months left?"

Molly smiled nervously, her cheeks flushing brightly as she glanced at John who was watching her with adoration in his eyes. "Yeah, everything is coming together perfectly. I can't believe it."

"Still need to do a tux fitting, John." Lestrade mumbled while staring up at the TV.

John seemed to sigh heavily, crumbling in his chair and laying his head on the arm that stretched out on the bar, "I don't know how we're going to get Sherlock into a tux. The bastard actually has to wear a tie!"

Molly leaned over to Kairi and elbowed her in the side, causing Kairi to yelp in surprise. Kairi turned to Molly who waggled her eyebrows and Kairi snickered, leaning in to whisper something back her.

"I mean INTO a tux, not OUT of a tux, you tramps." John sounded entirely done with that topic of conversation and Kairi and Molly just giggled louder. "Christ, you two…"

"We've still got to find bridesmaid dresses." Kairi nodded to Molly, who looked slightly stunned. She reached out a hand and placed it gently on Molly's shoulder, "It's just me and your cousin, Janine. I'm sure as hell not picky! And Janine is lovely or else you wouldn't have asked her to be your bridesmaid. All will be well Molly, I promise. Things haven't been too bad thus far, right?"

Molly nodded and took a heavy sip of wine to quell her panic, "Well no, but now that Sherlock is back, I'm sure he has an opinion on everything."

John just chuckled, "Well it's not his wedding, is it?"

Molly looked over at John who leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips, "No, it's not." She smiled gently at him, biting her lower lip as they gazed at one another.

"Who's wedding is it?" John muttered, smiling as he cradled her face.

"Ours." Molly chuckled, feeling sheepish.

"So, we don't need to worry about what Sherlock wants, do we?" John smiled.

Molly shook her head and kissed him soundly, "No, we don't."

Behind them, Kairi and Lestrade began making gagging and retching noises, causing them to turn in horror and then burst into laughter as they watched Kairi and Lestrade make animated movements about how disgusted they were with Molly and John's almost robust public displays of affection.

John tutted, "Children…" Molly just shook her head and blushed wildly.

They all sipped their beers — Molly, with her wine — and stared at the telly, John and Lestrade entranced for the moment with the game and Molly and Kairi sort of staring off into nothing.

Molly finally leaned into Kairi while the boys were sufficiently distracted, "So, tell me…"

Kairi scowled playfully, "Tell you what?"

Molly's eyes went wide, either with horror or with rage, Kairi couldn't quite tell, "Tell me what happened between you and Sherlock, of course!" She rasped.

Looking at the brazen pathologist, Kairi chuckled slightly, "Well, there honestly isn't much to tell." She muttered and Molly actually laughed at her. Kairi scowled again, "Look, he came back and surprised me, so I sort of attacked him. We've kissed, heatedly, but that's about it."

Molly rose an eyebrow.

Kairi sighed heavily, looking at Molly who wanted details. They had become more open with their sexual lives over the past year and Kairi had to admit, it was pretty fun making the pathologist blush. "Well," Kairi leaned in a bit closer, whispering, "we haven't had sex, if that's what you're getting at."

"WHAT!?" Molly actually screeched, causing Lestrade and John to look at her in shock. Kairi was beaming bright red and Molly was staring at Kairi with what looked like anger in her eyes. "Bzzzt!" Molly waved at Lestrade and John and they both went back to staring at the game and ignoring the girls. Molly scooted her chair closer to Kairi and leaned in, looking fierce, "You are telling me you've gone a year without that man and he shows up and practically throws himself at you and you  _turned him down_?"

Kairi was a little scared, she'd never seen Molly so positively seething. "Look, I just… I'm worried." She replied weakly.

Molly rolled her eyes so drastically Kairi was surprised she didn't flip off the back of her stool and continue to roll out the door, "You've got to be kidding me!" Kairi frowned at her, a bit childishly, "Listen to me Kairi, that man is stupidly in love with you and we  _all_  know Sherlock isn't stupid about  _anything_."

"I know, I just-,"

Molly put up her hands, "I'm not saying  _force_  the issue. If you are nervous, that's perfectly fine, but don't hide behind something that's not true." Molly looked disappointed and it burned Kairi slightly. "Don't hide behind your fear of Moran." Kairi's breath halted in her chest but Molly reached out, grabbing Kairi's shoulder and refocusing her, "Sherlock is  _not_ that bastard."

Kairi nodded, her eyes tearing up a bit, shocked back into reality by Molly's use of a curse word, "I know that, I do. I'm just…" She paused, words lost in her mind and stuck in her throat. Kairi's chest tightened and she felt a burning in her gut that refused to unfurl, "God." Kairi put her head in her hands and felt like she might sob.

"Oh shit!" Molly hissed and then wrapped her arms around Kairi, "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot when I drink! My stupid mouth, oh Kairi…"

Kairi chuckled, swallowing her tears and foolishness, "No, it's all right." She looked up at Molly and smiled through glassy eyes. Out of nowhere she felt a hand on her and she looked over to see Lestrade, still gazing up at the TV, with his arm extended, his hand rubbing her back in his comforting way. How he always knew when she needed him the most was terrifying, but it was a blessing. She looked back at Molly who looked mortified at her outburst and Kairi chuckled, "No, look, it's okay. Don't feel bad, I just… I don't know, I'm all over the place. He came back without a warning…"

"Yeah, I know that feeling. He disrupted a date of mine when he came back to life last time." John muttered and Molly and Kairi shot him a look. He wasn't supposed to be paying attention.

Kairi sighed heavily, "He came back and I'm a bit flummoxed. It feels like he was never gone, but at the same time, I also feel like I barely know him! He's been gone for a year Molly! How am I supposed to know what he's thinking? How am I supposed to feel? I'm different from it all, is he?" Kairi added a bit frantically and Lestrade pushed her beer towards her, pretending not to listen. She shot him a dark look but thanked him anyway.

"Oh Kairi," Molly muttered, "that's always how Sherlock will make you feel. He's just so…" Molly waved her hands about, trying to find the words, "I don't know,  _invasive._  He's just all or nothing sometimes."

Kairi nodded, "I know that, it's just…" She took in a deep breath and then a long sip of beer, "I know that, but I just… God, I  _don't_  know. I want him  _desperately,"_  She heard John's throat clear and Lestrade shifted, obviously a bit uncomfortable on the topic, "Piss off! If you don't want to hear, stop eavesdropping you nosy old crones!" She hissed at them and they just chuckled. She focused back on Molly, lowering her voice, "I want it to happen, I'm just…"

"Scared?" Lestrade chimed in and Molly, John, and Kairi all shot him a look. He shrugged it back at them and sipped his pint, "What? I've been through relationships before! Just because I'm all machismo and testosterone doesn't mean I'm not quite intuitive and generally emotional."

Kairi snorted at that and leaned into him, wrapping her own arm around his waist for a moment and squeezing him tight. "You big softy."

Lestrade chuckled, kissing Kairi on the forehead, "For you, anything love."

Kairi smiled wide and sat up straight, wrapping her hand around her beer for a long pull while everyone looked at and not-looked at her expectantly, "All right, I'm scared. I'm scared  _shitless_! Even if I feel like everything is okay between us, I just feel like we are pretending that there's no elephant in the room, but there is. It's giant, it's fucking grey, and loud and it's taking up all the space in the fucking room!" She almost yelled and between her huffing breaths Lestrade leaned in, Molly too, and hugged Kairi. She continued in a small, shaky voice, "I don't know how to explain to him everything I've been through."

John cleared his throat, not one to be overt about his affection, except of course, when it came to Molly, "Look Kairi, you know Sherlock, but I know him better. Thing about him is, he takes everything in all at once. He is capable of acknowledging what happened to you," Kairi hadn't told anyone about the specifics of their time with Moran, "He's able to look at you and see  _you_." Kairi felt her breath halt and she looked at John, her eyes full of tears that went unshed, "He sees you exactly as you are Kairi: you are strong and resilient and intelligent. You are wonderful and he knows that. No matter what happened, no matter what you did, he sees you and he loves you. I know it." John clenched his jaw, his lips going a bit pale as he clamped them together, trying to fight the emotion welling in his chest. He loved Sherlock, his best man, his best friend, and he cared greatly for Kairi, the brilliant, empathetic woman who would do anything for anyone. He would deny it to his dying day, but he wanted Sherlock to be loved and taken care of. If he couldn't be there to help him all the time, Kairi was the next best thing.

"Thank you." She muttered softly to John and he nodded, rapping his knuckles on the bar and then turning back to the TV.

She felt Lestrade's arm around her again, pulling her to him. She folded into him, feeling his lips press against the top of her head as she curled up in his comfort. He was always there for her. The closeness she had with Molly was one thing, but other than her, as her best friend, and Sherlock, the man she desperately loved, there was Lestrade, the person she utterly trusted. Faintly, she heard the bell ring at the front door and as she turned, curiosity and a bit of hope drove her to see if Sherlock would decide to grace them with his presence. But before she could, the bar erupted into madness and she was utterly distracted by the chaos.

Everyone was shouting with glee as something happened on the TV. Both her and Molly were a bit clueless as they glanced at Lestrade and John who were both shouting and turning and high-fiving each other and other regulars in a manly fashion. Most of the other bar patrons were also cheering, a loud cacophony erupting over the din of Kairi's thoughts. She chuckled slightly, happy for the opportune turn of events that took the focus from her pathetic meanderings. She was turned towards Molly who was shrugging her disinterest into a glass of wine when she felt Lestrade's arm around her once again and his lips against her ear as he spoke, since the room was still enveloped in the sound of elated sportsmen.

"Want another one?" He chuckled softly, happiness obvious on his features and his eyes practically sparkling as Kairi turned to look at him, their faces merely inches apart.

She couldn't help mirroring his excitement, he was infectious that way, so she smiled up at him and leaned in to his ear so he could hear her reply, "I'd love one, thanks!"

* * *

Sherlock stalked down the street with utter, burning purpose. He had decided to walk to the pub where he knew they would be. He was positively charged in this moment and sitting in a cab seemed to be a waste of his energy. People were leaping out of his way, throwing curses at him from every direction but he ignored it completely.

The surge of righteousness that was flowing through his veins was euphoric. There was nothing in the world that made him feel better than being right. Yet again, he had bested someone and he would eagerly destroy them with the truth. He chuckled to himself as his feet carried him across the cement, an old sort of comfort resonating through him as facts ticked through his brain, solidifying the knowledge raging within his mind palace. For the first time in years, he felt like himself — like Sherlock Holmes was meant to be.

He turned the corner and he paused, his facade crumbling only slightly as he looked into the windows of the pub and saw the group of what he once thought of as  _friends_. John, Molly, Kairi, and Lestrade were sitting at the bar, the latter closest to the door. He inhaled tightly, watching as they all smiled in frivolity, letting the vapidness of human existence bastardize their intelligence.

How many times had he been so utterly unimpressed by they way they all seemed to be so negligent when it concerned the world around them? All of them wasted away, so concerned with shagging whoever, falling in love, and letting their lives be consumed by the unimportant.

Sherlock would no longer fall victim to such hollow diatribe. The importance of friendship, of companionship, was a red herring. This life had no other purpose than  _the work_. He had let himself be side tracked by the stupidity of human relationships. He didn't need anyone in his life. He was perfectly capable of functioning, of dominating the world he lived in without the  _benefit_  of companionship and love.

Mycroft was right. He had always been right.

_Don't get involved._

Sherlock had said so himself, sentiment was a chemical defect, found in the losing side. He was not faulty, he was not weak. Sherlock was a victor, a viper. He had no necessity for sentiment. He would reframe his thinking, purge his life of those around him that weakened him, and refocus on what he was meant for: murder, crime, deduction - that is what he was made for. None of this absolute drivel of relationships with other people. He had no need of it.

Despite his ardent lack of need for companionship, he watched as Lestrade's arm curled around the frail shoulder of the woman he violently protested he loved. He watched her lean into his former friend and it burned him.

He tried to reason that it was not jealousy that was raging within him. It was not anger, it was proof, it was the evidence of their absolute lack of propriety, their lack of decency, that made them so common, so detestable. How could he have ever believed that they were worthy of his trust?

He took a deep inhale, watching as she folded into that man, looking perfectly content. It made him sick, watching him kiss her softly on the head, seeing people so desperately blinded by emotions and physical weakness. He scoffed, practically needing to spit because of the bitterness on his tongue. This was abhorrent.  _They_  were abhorrent. Simple humans, so limited in the scope of their abilities, so absolutely tiny and insignificant. He was superior. He was  _better_.

He opened the door to the pub, bells jingling, signaling the entrance of his superiority. The bar erupted into pandemonium, people screaming and cheering about something completely inane on the television. He didn't care, he had the truth, he had bested secrecy and lies, and he had uncovered all he needed to know to prove that he was in the right. He was the champion of truth and evidence. All of these people, chuffed over something as laughable as a sport, obsessed with something so  _inferior_ _._

He smiled something dark, knowing and confident and he strode forward, but something caused him to falter, to pause.

He watched as Lestrade leaned in, his arm, again, draping around Kairi in familiarity. His lips pressed against her ear, smiling lips that dared grace her skin. He said something, obscured by the auburn hair in loose waves around her head, but she turned, smiling wide, staring at him, the insipid, bumbling detective chief inspector, in absolute  _adoration_. Their faces were merely an inch apart, their mouths, so close they could kiss. Her smile mirrored Lestrade's as she leaned in and her lips whispered her response, and Sherlock felt rage burst forth from the dam in his heart and he charged forward as Lestrade's arm fell from Kairi's shoulder.

He approached in their blind spot, slightly behind, slightly to the side. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come as his pain became his lifeblood. With long strides, he came closer, he anchored his weight to his center of gravity, planting his foot firmly as his other leg raised, bending slightly at the knee. He leaned back to gain more force, to drive every iota of his fury through his muscles as they extended. Using every ounce of power from his hip and all of the purified rage coursing through his system, he kicked out, striking at the bar stool Lestrade was seated on, sending the chair flying in the other direction. In the short span of time it took for the chair to move from beneath Lestrade, Sherlock reached out, incensed by this common man's audacity in taking what was rightfully  _his_ , and gripped Lestrade's shoulder firmly within his fist, and used his momentum to propel the abhorrent man towards the hardwood floor.

Lestrade's back and head connected with the hardwood in an instant, rebounding with such a sharp thud that it reverberated through the pub, silencing the rampaging cheers over the football game. He gasped in a breath that would not come, his diaphragm seizing in his chest from the force of the blow. It was only after the thud that people heard the clatter of the bar stool as it flew into a table, knocking many glasses askew, glass and liquid contents crashing against the floor.

"SHERLOCK!" John bellowed and flew at him. Molly screamed. As if time finally caught up to them, the world seemed to spin out of control.

Sherlock tried to push John away, his eyes boring into the man on the floor who was now gasping for breath. He smiled, in a small, petty way, as he watched Lestrade wheeze in a paltry breath, his eyes widened in fear and pain as he lay almost motionless on the floor, staring up at Sherlock in shock. This perfect vision, seeing Lestrade subdued was marred by one thing.

 _Kairi_.

Kairi hopped off of her stool and immediately knelt next to Lestrade. She looked at him, frantic and worried, her eyes welling with tears as she looked up at Sherlock, "Why-?" Distracted by another ragged breath from the DCI, she moved closer, "Are you okay?" She said to him in that sweet, misleading voice, her fingers tracing over Lestrade's face and chest with affection. The sight of her pale fingers against his chest made Sherlock bristle, a growl forming low in his gut that burned as it rolled up his throat. Lestrade nodded to Kairi, motioning to his abdomen, indicating that Sherlock had done exactly what he wanted. He had knocked the wind from the detective and effectively incapacitated him. If not for John holding him back, Sherlock would have gladly landed another strike, leaving the imprint in the form of a size eleven boot print on the side of his head.

His reverie was stunted by the sight of Kairi on the floor, holding onto Lestrade and telling him to breathe easy. As he looked at her, pain radiated from his core and he tried to quash it, but it was too much as he watched her, sitting there, bare knees down on the filthy floor of the bar, her skirt hiked up to her thighs, cradling  _that_  man in her arms, while Sherlock stood there, practically  _bleeding_  in front of her.

His breathing was ragged and he surged against John again who held in him place, saying things that Sherlock could not hear.

"What the  _fuck_  is wrong with you!?" Kairi snarled at Sherlock, rage in her eyes and tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked down at Lestrade who had the tiniest trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. "Why did you attack him?" She stared at Sherlock again, desperate and afraid.

He suddenly felt  _nothing_.

Sherlock chuckled then, surprising John who had a grip on his lapels. He used this moment as an opportunity to disengage himself from this entire situation. His lifted his arms in a swift movement, bending at the elbows and jutting them down to break John's hold, causing him to cry out as Sherlock struck at the tendons in his forearm. He growled as he shoved John away, forcing him to careen into a table, knocking it back few inches as John steadied himself against it, rage pure on his features as he glared at Sherlock. Sherlock gladly returned the livid scowl.

Sherlock went still in that moment, looking down at Kairi as if she were a piece of trash on the street, a bothersome wrapper stuck to the bottom his shoe. He turned sharply, fully disgusted with this entire interaction. He removed himself from the bar and intended on returning home. He knew she would follow and he had much to elucidate for her.

Kairi watched as he disappeared and she looked at John and Molly who were staring after the shadow of the consulting detective. She looked down at Lestrade who was pulling in breaths much easier now. He sat up slowly, with Kairi's help and John materialized on his other side, after pulling himself from the rage he felt towards Sherlock.

"I've got him." John muttered and tried not to look at Kairi.

"Why-?" She glanced at Lestrade and he stared back at her with a gaze full of emotion. She could feel it then, burning guilt inside of her chest at the realization. She looked back up at the doors, quiet and still as if Sherlock had never appeared, "I've got to go…"

Molly jumped up as she stood and grabbed her arm, "You mustn't, he's having a fit! He just attacked Greg!"

"Molly, I need to talk to him." Kairi looked back down at Lestrade who grimaced as he stood with John's help.

"Let me get Greg sorted and I'll come with you." John muttered and Lestrade faltered.

"Oh!" Molly gasped and went to Lestrade's side as he knelt, breathing heavily.

As they fawned over Lestrade, he glanced up at Kairi whose eyes were shining with tears, her face a mask of misery and he nodded, inclining his head towards the door, telling her to go in silence.

She nodded sharply and ran for the door, grabbing her coat on the way out as Molly and John shouted after her and Lestrade pretended to flounder a bit more severely than he needed to.

As Kairi hit the cold air of London, she gasped, her chest tightening as her mind swam. She looked around and couldn't see Sherlock anywhere nearby. She turned, grabbing at her hair and letting out a small sob. She didn't know where he would go, what he would do. She only knew that she needed to find him and talk to him.

She would do anything at this moment, just to speak with Sherlock Holmes and so she ran. She ran as fast as her short legs would carry her — damn it all if she tripped and fell. No physical pain could be worse than what she was feeling at this moment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> *dodging rotten fruit and chards of glass* I PROMISE I TRIED TO POST THIS YESTERDAY BUT THE WEBSITE WAS BEING A TURD - Thankfully it was fixed and here we go :D
> 
> Ok...We have a few options... I realize this is a cliff hanger. I realize you may hate me and are confused and possibly hate just about everyone in this story...Here's what the deal is: The next two chapters NEED to be released together or at least very close by. This is two rather long chapters, upwards of 10,000 words - probably a lot more than 10,000 words to be truly honest - as we discover WTF is happening... So... What I can do is either post BOTH chapters next weekend on friday, together, OR I can post one chapter midweek, say Wednesday and the next, on friday... I have a feeling there will be a lot of emotions and opinions... *Shields Kairi and Sherlock, wrapping them in bubble wrap and giving them candy and ice cream and kisses* Please let me know what you think with either reviews or PMs... If I don't get input, I'll just post both chapters next week.
> 
> Being a little evil again, but as promised, I think I've got smutlock pretty decently completed. I'm waiting for a few of my familiars in life to check it out for me as this is a new form of writing for me and I want to portray it accurately. However, for those who leave reviews within the next week (on friday) I will send you a little teaser for smutlock ;D
> 
> Let me know what you are thinking, how you are feeling, and if you need to be wrapped in bubble wrap and given ice cream and candy and kisses... Pls don't kill me...See you next week!


	7. Chapter 7

Kairi skidded to a stop in front of Baker Street. Her chest was heaving from the cold London air that burned her lungs. She stared up at the building, the one she thought of as home, and she felt dead on the inside. She watched the windows of 221B, hoping to see Sherlock, playing his violin or pacing in front of the glass in fury. She just wanted a glimpse of him to know what she should expect, but there was nothing.

She hissed out frightful curses, running fingers through her hair and gripping the roots as panic welled within her chest. She was trying to breathe, to focus, to rein in every dark thought that was strangling her, but it was almost impossible. It wasn't until she glanced at her own windows and saw the light on that her lungs finally leaped to life and absorbed the oxygen she was sucking in. She stumbled forward, tripping up the steps as she pushed the against the door and ran towards her home, tearing off her jacket and tossing the sweat riddled item to the side.

The entrance to her flat was wide open and she halted herself at the entryway, her eyes searching around to find Sherlock standing alone in her kitchen. She almost breathed a sigh of relief until she noticed what he was doing.

He was fully clothed, coat and all, standing in her kitchen like a looming shadow, all black and gloom, his face taught with frigid detachment. She took a step forward and wanted to say something, anything, but her voice was frozen in her throat. He was holding a simple wine glass, holding it up to the halogen lights on her ceiling, staring at it intently as if it were the most interesting specimen he had ever come across.

"Sherlock…" She finally got out through her panting breaths.

"Large amounts of calcium and magnesium deposits left on the glassware." He stated quickly, refusing to look at her as he turned the glass in his fingertips, inspecting in the light.

Kairi frowned, opening her mouth to question him, but he continued.

"Water spots — to the dull," He grunted, "most commonly caused by hot water being left to evaporate from the surface of the glass when exposed to high temperatures." He muttered and then squinted his eyes, taking in the glass further, "This glass wasn't put in the dishwasher though, where hard water is usually the culprit for such imprints. This glass was hand washed, in hot enough water, but not fully hand dried. It was left out in the cold air." He looked at it curiously, thinking for a moment, "Although, if there were a fire going, the heat contained in the room could have been force enough to help the residue form." He placed the glass on the counter and crouched, giving it a level stare as he planted his hands on either side of it to observe further.

"Wha-,"

"Judging by the size, amount, and consistency, I'd say these spots were merely forty-eight hours old. Recently used, recently washed, recently left out to dry." He stood sharply and reached back into the cabinet and pulled out a smaller glass, Kairi staring after him with confusion written across her features. "Comparing it to this glass, which looks horribly unused, not for days and days it seems, but that one," He pointed to the mottled glass on the counter, "is in frequent use. Can we deduce why that is?"

"I don't understand." Kairi whispered watching him walk her through her own home as if it were a crime scene.

"That was rhetorical. Please don't speak while I'm making deductions, your idiocy is particularly degrading to my mental process." He snarled without looking at her. "We can deduce that this glass, with its wide bowl and slight taper near the top is intended for chilled white wine. Its said that the wide bowl and the taper, in junction with the long stem, are intended to keep the wine cooler for longer periods of time — necessary for a white wine as red wine is not meant to be chilled. Except, of course, to an  _inferior_  pallet which may prefer it. The wide bowl," He said gently whirling the glass in his fingertips, as if there was a perfectly delectable liquid within, "is intended for the drinker to appreciate the signature aroma of a white wine, specifically Chardonnay for this type of glass, since it's rather shallow."

He put the glass down and picked up the next one, leveling a cold stare at Kairi who was biting her lip to keep from crying, "And this glass, oh, this glass is unique." He shook it in her direction gently, now staring at the stemware and averting his eyes from her, "This glass has a short stem, shorter than most actually — obviously intended for red wine, since it is not meant to be kept cold — and a tall bowl, wide at the bottom and more tapered at the top. The wide bowl is, like the other glass, intended to contain the aroma of the wine," He swirled the glass in his hand and brought it to his nose to inhale with closed eyes, "a true sommelier appreciates that sort of thing. The taper, making the glass almost pear-shaped, is intended to guide the wine towards the tip of the drinker's tongue, where there is more sensitivity to sweetness." He narrowed his eyes at Kairi who opened her mouth to say something.

"Sher-,"

"It's interesting to me, that  _this_  glass," He held up the white wine glass now, "smells faintly of vinegar." He chuckled darkly at the item in his hand, "This glass was run through the dishwasher, which has vinegar added during the rinse cycle to help break up those bothersome water spots." He placed it down on the counter and picked up the red wine glass, "This one however was hastily washed by hand," He held it up to the light, as if he cared for her to see, "You can see streaks from a quick and shoddy towel drying, but there's still recent deposits left over from the atrociously hard water in this fine abode." He paused, gripping the glass in his hand and finally addressing Kairi, "Now who do we know that adores red wine and frequents your flat? Hmmm?"

"Sherlock, I can explain-,"

"I said shut up!" He snarled and threw the glass onto the floor, shattering it into pieces that flew all over. Kairi jumped and yelped in surprise as Toby let out a whine and ran away to the bedroom to hide.

He exhaled heavily, regaining his cold composure as he glared at her, "There are  _two_  pinot noir glasses here that are frequently used, well there  _were_  two," He nodded towards the shards on the floor, "but these glasses are used more frequently than the white wine glasses. We both know our  _beloved_  pathologist adores white wine so our mysterious guest is not Molly. John abhors wine and Mycroft wouldn't dare drink with a subordinate. Mrs. Hudson of course, desires an altered sort of buzz." He emphasized the central alveolar fricative at the end of the word and then refocused, "Frequent use, recent hand washing, Pinot Noir, I think we can deduce just who has been habitually visiting this flat." He spat, stalking towards her, glaring down at her as she shook, her arms wrapped around her body as she stared back up at him in desperation, "Unless of course you're so  _pathetic_  that you've lied to everyone about your drinking habits and have been drinking out of two different wine glasses to confuse those who would notice."

He stepped around her, glass crunching beneath his feet as he circled and inspected her, "Still nauseous Kairi? Dizzy? Shaking and frequently cold?" He stopped in front of her again and took in her glassy eyes, "Of course you've been drinking stout this evening, judging by the acrid smell of beer and the hint of chocolate on your breath, so probably your withdrawal symptoms would not be showing. You've curbed your worthless addiction one more night, did you?"

Kairi let out a shaky breath, "Sherlock…"

He shot her a dark look which silenced her immediately, "Now then, we've established that you are either  _drinking for two_  or that you have frequent company in the form of a Pinot Noir fan. But  _who_  could it be?" He summed it up for her and walked towards her front room, circling the couch and glaring at it for a moment before he plopped down in the seat closest to the arm rest. "More evidence is required, don't you think? Don't want to make a hasty judgement."

He removed his gloves and tossed them on the table, letting his fingers trace over the soft material of the couch, his eyes closed for a moment before he put up his feet with a thud. Kairi turned towards him now, her feet crunching bits of glass as she shuffled to face him.

"Now then, this is my favorite part." He chuckled darkly, wriggling himself in the couch and getting comfortable. "As I sit here at 1.83 meters, I can  _almost_  get comfortable. My legs stretched out, feet up on the coffee table which affords me a  _great_  deal of relaxation." He drawled sarcastically. He opened his eyes and stood abruptly, turning sharply to face Kairi who was still behind the couch, still looking so small and insignificant.

His heart lurched for a moment, seeing her there, looking at him in fear and in pain, but he ignored it. He downright ripped it from his mind palace and focused on the real woman behind the shaking mess, the one who betrayed him. "Judging by the imprint left in that spot, the weight of the person who has crushed the cushions, is more hefty than our lovely pathologist and present company excluded." He looked down at the couch again, seething, "And since you don't habitually sit like a normal human being, you must be sprawled about in the sitting chair with legs ass over end, contorted like an idiot, I'm guessing this belongs to someone else." He chuckled at himself and stepped back, standing at the corner of the tea-table and then kneeling down. "Someone who frequently puts their feet up on coffee tables, judging by the nicks in the wood." He eyed her momentarily while she shook, still listening, still so meek.

"Funny thing about spacing of furniture, it denotes who frequents certain areas. This specific distance between couch and table is highly indicative of the person's height who usually rests their feet here." He pointed to the couch and the table and stood up to his full height to practically leap into the seat so he could wriggle again to get comfortable.

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes and relishing in the sweet tension rolling off of Kairi behind him, "Funny it is, that as I sit here, I can only deduce that the person who sits here is definitely not you." He chuckled and sat up, placing his feet back on the floor, turning to Kairi and giving her a cold sneer, "You see, the distance between the seat and the footrest is much longer than the lovely pathologist's or your squat stature. It's also quite amusing to see that even John, though taller than you and Molly, would also not be comfortable sitting here as his legs would barely reach without slouching completely." He stared at her coldly, "I would almost say that you've set this up for  _me,_ " He growled, standing slowly and glaring at her, "except of course for the simple fact that I don't tend to rest my feet on coffee tables and the fact that it hits me at the top of my Achilles' tendon in a most irritating manner. It's almost exactly 0.03 meters too short for my legs." He chuckled and then rounded the couch to stand in front of her.

He was close to her now, close enough to kiss, close enough to hold. She stared up at him and between ragged breaths, she begged, "Please -,"

"Oh, but  _who_  can I think of that frequents your home that is that height?" He stepped towards her and she backed away from his imposing glare, "Mycroft is taller than me, so it isn't him, and unless you really are  _desperate_  enough to sleep with someone for alcohol, I doubt you've had random suitors frequenting here." He took her in, trailing his eyes up and down her body in slow, calculated movements, "Though, to be honest, I'm not quite sure you're appealing enough for the common bar scene — they do like their tall, willowy women with tiny waists and proportional curvature." He spat and she flinched at the implication as they continued to move backwards, "So who is it that is shorter than me, but taller than John and tends to leave grey hairs in his wake? Who drinks red wine and has shown an alarming amount of interest in the woman who resides in this flat!?" He pushed further, almost shouting now, "Hm?"

Kairi tripped and fell backwards, landing hard on her backside with a yelp. She looked up at Sherlock, towering over her and looking down at her impassively. She opened her mouth to say something and he reached out, grabbing her arm sharply and yanking her to her feet.

"Still don't know, do we?" He intoned with disgust and pulled her close to his side as he stalked towards her bedroom, her stumbling along next to him. "Well, I'm sure we have some more evidence in here - I wanted to check the bed, but I'd probably need a blacklight to see all of the evidence left over on the sheets." He hissed bitterly and pulled her across the room, "I didn't want to have to call in Anderson, have him find out that I'd been cuckolded, like some common fool." He spat and then let go of her, using her momentum to force her against the wall next to her bathroom door.

"Sherlock, stop this, please." Kairi said quietly, using the wall to get her shaky legs steadily beneath her.

He turned on her and pressed her against the wall with his glare, "I asked you to remain silent." He snarled at her, "Your absolutely insipid drivel is interrupting the  _best_  part." He finished with a devious smile as he walked closer and leaned in, almost seeming like he would press his lips against hers. Instead, he wrapped his hand around the doorknob and pushed the door open, causing Kairi to shudder out a breath as he wound around her. He walked into the bathroom and knelt down, reaching into the cabinet beneath the sink and pulling out a plastic bag left long forgotten.

He turned to look at Kairi who was standing in the doorway, wide-eyed and so very much in the throes of emotional turmoil. She let out a shuddering breath and stepped forward as Sherlock stood up, grasping the bag in his fist.

His shoulders hunched and his breathing finally went ragged as emotion poured through him. Rage and pain and sorrow were storming through his mind palace, fogging his clarity and making his thoughts disjointed and so very muddled.

"Sherlock, please, let me -,"

"NO!" Sherlock bellowed and in an instant, he had her arm gripped tightly in his hand as he held her in place against the tile of the bathroom wall. "I have  _seen_  enough!" He spat at her with utmost revulsion. He raised his hand, holding the bag with the box inside, "Would you like to see my discovery? Do you want me to finally solve this mysterious conundrum that we find ourselves in?" He growled at her and he watched as tears streamed down her cheeks and she shook in his grasp.

"Do you!?" He snarled, pressing her harder against the wall, his grip no doubt hindering circulation to her arm. "A box, a simple  _box_." He said quietly and shook the contents loose and they fell to the floor. The contents dropped like dead weight but the receipt fluttered its way down with much less effort, "And a piece of paper, with a date and a  _name_." He said quietly, his eyes dead and cold to her. He let go of her swiftly and picked up the box, shaking the contents within it as he stood.

She tried to move forward, opening her mouth again to speak to him, but he grasped her shoulder and shoved her against the wall, she gasped, staring at the man she loved in horror as he continued his tirade.

He leaned in now, his hand grasping at the collar of her dress to hold her in place, his lips resting just next to her ear, "Tell me Kairi," He said in a low and sensuous tone, tainted by his rage and his woundedness, "Why is it that you would need to purchase condoms with your bank card while I was away? Why did you purchase them four months ago? Hm?" He got out, his voice finally started to waver as the pain leaked through the cracks in his resolve.

"Why," he started, his voice broke as his throat tightened, "why, when you and I were together, we hadn't needed protection, and  _why,_  while I was  _gone_ , in the pits of hell with the absolute dregs of humanity, dreaming of  _you_  with every breath," he rasped and squeezed her shoulder tighter, " _why_  did you need to buy  _these_?"

"Sherlock, please -,"

He stood upright, stiff and furious, his hand moving to the side of her neck, his thumb pressing into her cheek that was stained with tears, "WHY!?" He bellowed, squeezing tighter and she flinched, her eyes going wide as she looked at him.

" _You're hurting me!_ " She screamed — a familiar sound, a familiar face etched with terror, the shrillness of that voice reverberating in his chest as the words echoed in his mind palace and shook loose memories he had tried so desperately to forget.

He took a sharp breath in and let her go, stumbling back against the sink, his vision blurring from the tears in his eyes, "I-," He began, his mouth opening and closing, words lost to his tongue, but he looked at her. He finally saw her, through the rage, through his pain. She was pressing herself against the wall, making herself smaller, pulling herself farther from him, her hair a mess, and her face blotchy and red from her tears. He could see the imprint his hand had made, when his fingertips dug into her pale and easily marred skin. He finally looked into her eyes and she could barely look back at him, standing there, so diminutive compared to her usual presence. He had caused this _._ She was shaking and terrified.

She was terrified of  _him_.

He pushed off of the sink, leaving her in her tears and making his way through her bedroom. He could hear her sobs echoing off the tiles of the bathroom and each one felt like a jab to his chest. Stumbling upon his own two feet as his mind burst with the emotions that surged within him, he leaned upon the door jamb of her bedroom and tried to breathe.

The comparison between the Kairi he had seen a day before and the Kairi he had just abandoned was painful. Smiling and bright no more, he had left her a husk of shame and pain. He had allowed his rage and jealousy to consume him and he sought for  _control_ , not justice. This was not Sherlock Holmes, but a much different sort of beast that had been residing inside of his mind for some time. He did not have logic and brilliance at this point, he had anger and pain and it was  _blinding_. It consumed him, suffocated him, everything that he stood for was bastardized by the rawness of what he  _felt_. He didn't so much despise what he was feeling, but he did despise how it fueled his actions.

He reached her front room and his feet crunched upon the glass the monster within had tossed to the floor what seemed like a lifetime ago. He stared around, seeing the ghost of his anger trounce through her home only moments before he had put his hands on her. He hated himself in that moment, more than he hated what she did, more than he despised Lestrade. There was only one person he hated more in that moment and it was Moran. Moran's only desire had been to consume Kairi, to break her, to make her his own.

It was in that moment, that Sherlock remembered true pain. His heart seized in his chest when he realized that he was hardly any better than Moran. Sherlock wanted Kairi to suffer like he had suffered upon his discovery. He wanted to walk her through his findings and see her  _break_  in reaction to the unveiling of her shame. These were not the actions of a man full of love, these were the actions of a man full of  _hate_.

Is this what he became closed off to the influence of the people in his life? Turning his back on his humanity and focusing on the pain had made him so much less than everything he aspired to be. The last six months of his life has been tainted; dark and consuming. Here he stood pouring that darkness that left him cold and bitter back into her, his one source of true comfort.

He stood in her front room and he felt empty. Utterly, hopelessly empty.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave comments and tell me what you think, but I implore you to read the next chapter before you make any finite decisions for how you view certain people. k? I love you, hold me...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Read the chapter fully, perhaps more than once to truly understand what is happening before you pass judgement. Also read the footnote for more thoughts as well...

"Sherlock!" Kairi yelled after him through her sobs.

He turned, still stepping on what felt like the shattered pieces of his whole being. He was lost inside emotion; this blinding, whirling, and completely encompassing hurricane that raged within him. When he looked back at her, he felt everything at once, the overwhelming amount of affection he had for her, the burden of this new knowledge, and the undying shame of how he had handled her.

"Please!" She shouted, running at him, but stopping herself before she reached him, before she got too close.

It burned him that she shied away from him. It burned him that in the last four months, living like he had, she had been here. She had been with…

"Let me explain." She muttered softly, searching his eyes for something, any sort of remnant of the man she adored.

"Why!?" Sherlock pleaded for understanding, rage and hurt pushing forth through his snarling tone and he watched her recoil, curling in on herself like the abused child she once was.

"Let me tell you what happened, let me tell you my reasoning, please." She said softly, her voice trembling.

"WHY!?" He shouted, his voice echoing in her home. He took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling so very broken, "Why should I?" He added with the weakness he felt.

"Because you weren't raped!" She yelled at him, "You weren't the one who got raped TWICE!" She shouted glaring at him with the wide, pained eyes of a broken woman, "You weren't the one who had to look into the eyes of the person you love the most in this world, while some monster consumed every ounce of goodness in your body!" She finished in a weak cry, "You were there," She looked at him, her voice laced with shame and sadness, "but you weren't  _me_."

Sherlock took in a harsh breath, raggedly catching in his throat, fighting to move past the blockade forming in his chest. He closed his eyes for a moment and sensations pulsed through him. The vivid memories of Kairi being held face to face with him while Moran abused her. The nightmarish terror that consumed him, the pain that broke him, all of it raged within him and when he opened his eyes he could see her clearly. The tears had left his eyes and were now slowly falling down his cheeks.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness." She muttered sadly, "I don't expect it either. I'm just asking you to listen." She wrapped her arms around herself as tears fell freely from her reddened eyes and she looked at him, pleading and desolate.

He nodded, slowly, the air in his lungs frozen and painful as he watched her shake in front of him, knowing that was  _his_  fault.

"I slept with Lestrade,  _once_." She admitted, laughing sourly until it turned into sobs, "My mother died the week before. I went home to see her cremated and buried with my dad." She added in a thick voice, "I never got to say goodbye to the woman who loved me, who tried to protect me. I never got to say goodbye to my mother! The last time I saw her she ripped holes in my arms and screamed at me!" Kairi sobbed, "I never got to understand why she murdered someone: for me? To warn me? Because Moran had told her to? I never got to know why!" She shouted, her eyes frantic and lost, "I was eight months into recovery,  _finally_  feeling like everything was going to be okay and then she just died." She added with a bitter laugh, "I felt like everything was falling apart all over again and you weren't here."

Sherlock went to speak but she put up her hand to silence him.

"I know, you weren't here because  _ **I**_  asked you not to be — it's not your fault, it's  _mine._  I know that. But you weren't here, I didn't know how to contact you. I couldn't ask you to come back, because I felt like I was worse off than when you left." She inhaled shakily.

"I'm sorry that it hurts you so much, I really am. But I'm only half sorry that I did it." She looked at him and watched his face twitch ever so slightly with some suppressed emotion, "I needed something. I needed someone and I was the one that was  _stupid_  enough to send you away in the first place! Asking you to come back, I felt so  _selfish_. I can't just push and pull you along however I see fit. It's unfair!" She shook her head and put her face into her hands while she sobbed.

"I got so lost Sherlock! I was so desperate to feel, to know I was alive, even though every single part of me just wanted to die. I was drinking all day, everyday, I couldn't function! I was smoking so much, I barely believed that my lungs remembered how to convert oxygen properly!" She laughed coldly, "I was a fucking mess and I needed something or someone and Lestrade was there. He understood what I was asking, what I needed."

She looked up at Sherlock again and he was stiffening to her, "I needed to prove I wasn't broken." She whispered, "I needed to be absolutely certain that I wasn't the worthless, empty  _piece of shit_  that I felt like after Moran ripped  _everything_  from me. Then my mother died and I was in  _pain_."

She shrugged, smiling sadly at him, "I'm sorry. I wanted it to be you, but it couldn't be you." She shook her head and glanced up at him, watching confusion etch itself in the corners of his eyes, "I know, it doesn't make sense. I wasn't all there, I wasn't okay, but I did it, I asked him to be there for me in that way. I needed to prove that I could feel and I could be with someone again and he helped me."

She sighed raggedly and continued, "I know that it's bullshit and you don't have to forgive me, but I at least needed you to understand." She took a step back, "I care for Greg and I trust him, he is my friend, and I care for him because he is a decent man and a good friend to everyone in his life. I took advantage of his attraction to me because I needed to prove that I wasn't so utterly  _damaged._  It was one night, from the start, he knew it was only  _one_  night. He knew what I needed and why I needed it and he never expected anything else."

She bit her lip, "But you, Sherlock, I love you with everything that I am. I love you because you are brilliant and unique, and you understand me in so many ways that others don't. I love you because we have suffered and died and been burnt to nothing and yet, we still have this capacity to love each other."

She let out a hard sigh between hiccuping sobs, "You are the  _best_  man I've ever met." Sherlock blinked a few times as she said it, his mouth opening and closing.

She walked backwards slowly until she was edging closer to her room, looking ready to run, "Having sex with Greg helped me because it proved I wasn't broken. I don't regret it, because I needed to do it. I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't expect you to love me anymore, but I needed you to understand. I needed you to know that I  _was_  broken. I was  _ruined_ by Moran and then my mother's death…" She spat it out acidly, "I was  _pissed_  and  _terrified_  and  _disgusted_  with this thing that  _he_  left in his wake." She looked down at her feet, tears flowing down her cheeks again and splashing against the floor as they fell from her eyes.

"I love you Sherlock Holmes and I couldn't be with you if I thought I was ruined by Moran." She shook her head, "If me being with Lestrade destroys us, I will never forgive myself, but I can't change it. It woke me up. It made me realize and understand what I really needed, what I really wanted. It's not fair to you and if you despise me, then I will leave." The exhale came out painfully, "I will erase myself from your life completely. I never wanted to hurt you, but if I did, I won't  _ever_  hate you for how you feel about it. I did what I needed to do. I'm not proud of it at all, but I did it. If you can't care for me anymore because of it, I will accept that consequence and leave. I wish it could have been different, but it wasn't." She finished it all in a whisper, the last breath of her dying heart.

There was a silence permeating the space between them that was thick and suffocating.

It seemed to choke Kairi and she went to turn her back on the one relationship in her life that was right. She knew that she loved Sherlock. She knew she would never be with Lestrade in that way — she didn't even want to. What they did was done between friends, between a shattered person and someone who cared for them. What they did was calm the desperate insanity of a broken woman. However, the adoration they shared was not the same as what Kairi felt for Sherlock. Nothing ever would be.

Her breath rushed from her lungs as a hand landed on her arm, gentle but desperate as she was forced around to face the man she loved. She went to speak, staring up at Sherlock, whose eyes were red rimmed and sad. His mouth hung open, stuck on something that he wanted to say.

Kairi shuddered, wondering if she had truly lost her last chance at happiness. There was no one else in the world like Sherlock Holmes. She didn't think it was possible to love someone the way she loved him. She wasn't sure that anyone could care for her in the way she needed — the way Sherlock did.

Before the words could escape her, Sherlock pulled her towards him and his mouth descended upon hers. In the instant it took for her mind to interpret his intentions, she let out a sob into his lips. His hands rose to her face, cradling it gently as they met together in a desperate, pained conciliation.

They were both in so much pain and so very lost in the lives that they had been living. They were trying to heal, to piece themselves together, but they hadn't anticipated how to mend the gap between two  _very_  broken people.

"I love you." She whimpered against his lips, her arms wrapping around his waist and holding him tightly against her, so she could feel his thrumming heart against her chest.

"I-," He gasped pausing and halting the words that were fighting to escape his mouth. His lips trembling against hers, in hesitation and fear. Revealing the truth, uncovering that dark fear inside of him, the fear of exposing himself fully was almost too much for him to bear, for him to understand. He could feel her shaking in his arms, no longer afraid of him, no longer weak and empty as when she was confessing to him, anticipating his revulsion. She was open to him completely, vulnerable and desperate just to show him how much she cared. She was broken and faulty and imperfect, but she offered all of the splintered pieces of herself to him anyway, simply because it was all she could give.

He stared down at her for a fraction of a second and he saw the truth in her eyes, she didn't expect him to say it back, she never did. She just wanted to express it, to make it real. He wanted to feel that comfort in such simple, profaned words. He wanted her to understand what was happening inside of him, the utter confusion because of his affection for a simple, brilliant woman. He wanted her to understand the pain, the confusion, the desperation that was teeming within his gut. How could he possibly put into words the insanity of what he felt for her?

After all this time, after Moran, this woman stood before him and opened herself up to the unknown. Despite her pain, despite the years of accumulated suffering, she stood before him, undaunted by becoming lost within another person. He realized then, that he was the one that was truly pained, truly afraid. Giving himself fully to Kairi, allowing her that power over him was the most terrifying thing he could imagine.

It all seemed to click within him, tiny factions of comprehension and emotion bubbled into place and solidified within his mind. Everything he went through, watching her suffer, fearing death for the first time in his life, it all changed him in ways he barely fathomed. What they had experienced was different to anything he ever had been through before and now he saw it. He grasped the insanity, the fear, the unfiltered emotion that surged through them both.

In a moment of futility, he pressed his mouth to hers again, pouring himself into her in every way he understood and in one way that he didn't, "I — I love you." He finally whispered in response, his voice small, scared, and breathless.

The words respired something into Kairi's soul and enveloped it in an all-consuming flame. She had to pull back from his kiss as sobs tore from her lips and left her gasping for air. He held her close as she collapsed, sobbing into his chest, the broken cries of a traumatized woman, hearing exactly what she needed to hear: the one that mattered, the one that witnessed her soul being tortured, the one who knew just how sullied she was, the one that she wanted more than anything in her life, to that man, she was still worthy of love. It broke her in a brand new and perfect way.

Sherlock shushed her, holding her close and walking her towards the bedroom as she continued to wail and shake in his arms. He laid her on the bed, fully clothed as she shook with her wretched tears, full of guilt and pain and hope. He remained standing, slowly removing his coat and laying it over the chair at her desk. He watched her torment herself, curling into a ball and shedding tears that he hoped would eventually soothe her brokenness.

The anger, the rage that he had felt for her had dissipated when he listened to her. He allowed his mind to absorb what she was saying and in a moment of brilliance, he couldn't say he agreed with her actions, but her wish was granted: he understood. He was not witness to her recovery, he had left and kept his distance at her request, but he was no braver than she was in facing his demons, in facing the pain. With the understanding of her anguish came compassion and need. She was different to him than any other person in his life and he finally recognized it. Uniting in sorrow, strengthened through what they felt for one another, he saw the broken pieces of himself reflected in her. He  _could_  be alone, he  _could_  cast her from his side, but he didn't  _want_  to.

What broke him from his rage, allowing him clarity in his thoughts and outright disgust in his behavior, was harming her. Never in his right mind, no matter how angry he was, would he intend to hurt her, especially by overpowering her in such a demeaning way. He was not a violent man, only spurred into action if it was necessary. Violence was a means to a very particular end and in this instance, he regretted his behavior towards Kairi. However, the last six months, the last year of missing her, dreaming of her, it had been a savage sort of confusion and he had matched the pain with his own brutality.

He removed his suit jacket and placed it over his coat, turning away from Kairi and allowing her a moment to get out her residual emotions through her tears. He knew that was how she dealt with things sometimes, he believed that giving her the space she needed would be considered a gift. As he was unbuttoning his shirt, he heard her shuffling on the bed. He turned to look at her as she jumped up and ran over to him, pinning his arms to his sides as she squeezed him painfully tight in a hug.

"Kairi…" He wheezed out and she started crying again. He rolled his eyes at her and he twisted himself, she shifted so he could wrap his arms around her, holding her against him.

He pressed his lips to her forehead and sighed, "I find that love is a vicious and temperamental emotion. I despised the notion of using the word, even to describe the way I feel about you." He said softly and she shook in his grasp, "I understand what you did and why you did it. Applying logic to an illogical situation is a fault of mine and I assumed you had behaved in such a manner to spite me. I had only focused on the evidence, not the underlying motives." He cleared his throat and adjusted his hold on her, lifting her eyes to meet his, "I will not pretend that this situation is ideal." He squinted his eyes at the words that felt so foreign on his lips, "I'm slightly out of my area of expertise when it comes to you." He sighed, "I'm afraid that this process will be entirely new to the both of us."

Kairi nodded, "I just want you," She smiled through tears, "I don't care what I have to do." Her arms shot up around his neck and she pulled him down to her lips, engaging him in a fiery kiss that shot adrenaline through Sherlock's veins, heightening the sensations of her mouth against his and her fingers in his hair. His arms wrapped around her waist while the taste of her consumed him and he crushed her against him. They were lost in the interaction, outright need overpowering any process not devoted to slaking their desperate lust. They moaned together, stepping themselves towards the bed through impassioned kisses.

Kairi was halted by Sherlock's arms, she tried to tilt backwards, to throw them both on the bed, every molecule in her body was absolutely teeming with need, but he held her still. His lips softened against hers, his hands more tender and gentle as he shifted to hold her waist. She felt panic rise within her chest, she needed him and she needed him now, but if he stopped, if he didn't want her —

"Stop that." He growled against her lips, "Stop assuming everything I do is because I am refusing you."

Kairi pulled back, she tried to hold onto the tears this time, she didn't want to spend the night sobbing at him anymore, "What?"

He smiled down at her, chuckling, and she heard him say the words that seemed too impossible to come from his lips, "I'm not going to have sex with you, Kairi."

Kairi's eyes bugged out of her head and her throat constricted. Her thoughts went blank and she seemed to sway where she stood, "Wha-? Why not?!" She asked a little desperately.

He chuckled again, the deep voice that vibrated through her in every way imaginable, "Because this is your need to prove yourself to me." He locked eyes with her and Kairi felt it.

She felt him boring into her and understanding her in ways she barely understood herself. It was precisely what she was trying to do. She wanted to show him that she wasn't broken anymore, that she wasn't completely ruined. She wanted to prove to him that he was what she needed, that he was how she would heal. The truth of it was, they were both still in pieces and hurting, just in different ways. Love did not heal all wounds.

"You don't need to prove yourself to me Kairi. Though I desperately want to —," He cleared his throat, referencing her manner of phrasing before, "—  _fuck you through a wall_ , as you put it so delicately, it is the least of my worries at this point. You appear to be in a fragile emotional state and, because I  _care_  for you, I refuse to take advantage of the situation."

Kairi gaped at him, "I— I don't know what to say. Thank you?"

He sighed heavily, exasperated, "We will go about this in the way we were planning, before all of this." He waved his hand around, indicating the drama that had ensued, "We will talk to each other and do all those inane things people who care for one another do." He looked into her eyes, seeing her searching for something in his, "Dr. Sherman has assured me that returning to life with you would be a steep learning curve."

Kairi chuckled, "Yeah, he told me that too."

Sherlock gave her a small smile, "Yes, I had assumed so. So let's begin as we would have. Do the terms of our previous engagement still apply?"

Kairi rolled her eyes and pulled at her sleeve to wipe her dripping nose, "You make it sound like a business acquisition."

He gave her a stern look, "Simply because I admitted to my  _love_  for you, it doesn't mean that my lexical semantics will be altered within the middle temporal gyrus."

She stared at him in utter confusion.

He rolled his eyes, "I will not debase myself with flowery words and intentions simply because I said that I love you."

"Oh, I see." Kairi smiled wide, tears brimming again, "I don't want your temcoral gyration to change. I like you very much as you are Sherlock."

He opened his mouth to correct her but decided against it, seeing the teasing glint in her eyes. Instead, he nodded and leaned in to press his lips to hers, "So, do we have an agreement?"

Kairi nodded, "To refresh then, exclusivity and companionship, and sex…eventually." She smiled nervously, pressing her head against his chest, "Perhaps we should allow for some flexibility and space with interactions. I know we both need time to…adjust. Anything I'm missing?"

Sherlock hummed slightly, holding her close, "I believe you required some sort of affirmation of my affection, does that still apply?"

Kairi shrugged, "I don't know. I guess we will have to see as it goes along. If I feel like if you don't want me anymore, I'll know it, but maybe I can ask for you to express your affection explicitly, if I'm feeling off or insecure, so you don't have to think about appeasing me constantly."

He glanced down at her, "I wouldn't think about it constantly." She gave him a deadpan stare and he dismissed it, "Isn't that supposed to ruin the  _romance_  or something?" He said distastefully. "Aren't you supposed to be surprised?"

Kairi chuckled, "I don't know Sherlock, we will see. Right now, all I care about is that you are here with me. Everything else can wait."

They stood quietly for a while, simply holding each other in the silence of Kairi's home. Everything always happened so fast between them. It was confusing and terrifying to love someone so much that they could fill your heart so completely in one moment and break it in the next.

Toby finally peeked his head out from under the bed and wriggled his hulking mass from beneath the high frame to walk up to his owners. He circled them a few times happily, poking his nose at their legs for attention. Obviously, now that the screaming and crashing things were over, it was time to play.

Sherlock glanced down, smiling lightly at the mutt prancing about, "I think it's time to go to bed."

Kairi gripped his shirt, "Will you stay?" She said a bit desperately. "Is that too much to ask?"

Sherlock leveled his gaze at her, inspecting the fragility of her features. "No, it's not asking too much." He said softly, reaching his hand up to stroke her hair and allowing his look to soften, "However, if my hands wander during the night, you mustn't tease me about it in the morning."

Kairi gave him a wry grin, "Depends on how much wandering they do, but I'll keep my mouth shut."

He chuckled at her, "That, I would endeavor to see."

She rolled her eyes and moved away from him, grabbing his hand as she walked to the closet and pulled out some of his old night-clothes. He gave her an odd look and she shrugged, blushing wildly.

"Sometimes I'd sleep with them because I missed you and I wanted an olfactory trigger for good memories. You smell like home and safety to me." She muttered.

He tried to suppress his grin, "I see."

Kairi chucked and then nodded, "I'm going to go clean up the glass while you get ready. I'll join you in a minute."

Sherlock nodded as she left and got dressed for bed in a plain t-shirt and pajama pants. He truly did hate wearing clothes to bed. Especially now that Kairi would be next to him, but he would suffer silently — or at least mostly silent — for the time being.

A few moments later, he was lying in Kairi's bed, hands behind his head as he stretched out beneath the covers, awaiting her. He was thinking over the night, the burst of illogical behavior, the anger, the rage, the raw emotion while he listened Kairi pour out her soul to him. He felt as if he should contemplate further on the subject, but what she had told him was the truth behind the actions of a very emotionally fragile woman. His reaction, the behavior of an angry, hurt, and emotionally naïve man. It was almost unfair to expect logical and responsible behavior from a person who went through the trauma that they went through, especially her, someone who went through it all  _twice_. He had forgotten the existence of her pain in his tirade and in his torment. For the first time in his life, he was ashamed of his selfishness.

He recalled his time away from her, the rage he used for the benefit of the case. In the end, he could not fault her for irrational behaviors. It still hurt, to think of her with someone else, but in the end he realized that she was not his property. They had both agreed to time away from each other. She had not specified how long she required distance and Sherlock had been the one to take the second case when he finished the first quite quickly. He was the one who distanced himself even further from her in those last six months, he was just as afraid and hurt as she was. They had been separated, apart for some time. No promises were made, no lies kept, save for two.

She smiled nervously as she walked into her bedroom, blushing a bit as she looked at him in her bed. She was afraid it was a mirage, but even her imagination couldn't replicate the perfection in the pedantic grin that quirked his lips. She walked to her closet to grab some pajamas and went to the bathroom to get ready to sleep. Once washed and scrubbed and properly clothed in some leggings and a tank top, she made her way back into the bedroom and slowly approached the bed.

Sherlock threw the blankets to the side so she could slide in next to him and covered her back up once she nestled into his side. She curled against him and he wrapped an arm around her. The feeling was almost of completion, of feeling home. He moved slightly, adjusting her head on his chest and shoulder and settled into the silence.

At least until it was broken by Kairi's sniffle.

"Are you crying again?" He asked a little coldly. "Sad crying or happy crying?"

Kairi nodded, chuckling in a sad way, "A bit of both, I guess. I'm sorry. I've missed you very much and it's hard to reign it all in." She said, her voice tight, but she refused to let the tears fall. "I apologize Sherlock, tonight and maybe for the foreseeable future, I might be a tiny bit of an emotional mess."

Sherlock nodded, rubbing her back distractedly, "That's not wildly far off compared to how you were prior to our incident."

She poked his side and sniffed, "Prick."

He chuckled against the top of her head and closed his eyes, letting the warmth of her body really seep into his skin, "I apologize for my behavior earlier. I did not anticipate your relationship with Lestrade."

Kairi nodded, "To be truly honest, I didn't either. This past year was difficult Sherlock and I didn't know what to do. Therapy only helped so much. I deserved it a bit, your reaction. I should have told you first, before you could find out on your own. I honestly meant to, but it's only really been a day since you got back and I was hoping we would have time to talk, alone and in private. I didn't anticipate sushi dinner and a dead body."

He chuckled, "Yes, aside from you leaping on me, that was a most pleasant welcoming."

Kairi laughed at him, "What were you doing the past year that makes you think dead bodies are pleasant?"

Sherlock stiffened, "I've always believed a unique murder to be a pleasant thing."

Kairi chucked and nuzzled closer to him, "My odd man." She said softly and kissed his covered chest.

He exhaled heavily in response, acknowledging his omission of the full truth, "I suppose you deserve to know about my past year in detail, it may possibly explain my rather rash behavior today. It's not something I've discussed with Dr. Sherman yet." Kairi adjusted in his arms and looked up at him, rolling onto her stomach so she could rest her chin on her hands placed on his chest. She watched him as he gazed up at the ceiling, his eyes a bit distant as he began to speak.

"The first case I was on went much like I had told you. I finished it quickly and efficiently, despite it being horribly tedious." He took in a deep breath, "The second case was not one that I had anticipated. I almost returned to London at that time, to return to you, perhaps a bit earlier than planned, but I was…" He cleared his throat, unwilling to admit that he was afraid, "However, Mycroft approached me with another option: a case in Thailand centered on a human trafficking and prostitution ring that had some tangential relation to Moriarty. I felt it was my duty to investigate."

Kairi couldn't help the gasp that formed on her lips as she listened to him recant his life during the time away.

"Mycroft had me infiltrate as a low-level accountant. I was meant to do book-keeping and observe spending habits. My intention was to keep a low profile and track where money was going to and coming from. The supposition was that I would eventually gather enough evidence to link a common business man and the entire prostitution enterprise. The man was highly adept at hiding his connection to organized crime. Most of the police were well taken care of in return for a blind eye. Finances were hidden behind layers and layers of subterfuge." He cleared his throat and a dark look came over his features, Kairi felt the tension in his muscles as he continued, "I was working in the distribution center, if you'd like to call it that," he spat, "and a new customer, recommended by a frequent one, had come in and abused one of the girls."

He glanced down at Kairi who was looking at him with sad eyes, "As I had said, I was meant for book-keeping and filing, I was steadily rising in the ranks, making a good and trustworthy name for myself because of my efficiency and intellect, until that day." He looked back up at the ceiling as the images played perfectly in his mind, "The man was on his way out when one of the girls came and told us that the mistress the client had been with was left bloodied up. Though the entire business was reprehensible, the proprietor was extremely diligent about keeping his property in decent shape — good health, suitable recompense in the form of money and available drugs. Certain girls fulfilled certain needs for discerning clients. This one girl had a specific role that left this client wanting." He voice went dangerously low and ferocity laced the words leaving his taut lips, "And so he took what he desired from this woman, despite her refusal."

"The client was meant to be stopped by security, but when I heard that the girl had been brutalized and —" He halted, losing his voice for a moment as it all rushed back at him, "— and raped, something within me splintered." He looked at Kairi again who now had tears in her eyes, he brought his hand to her cheek, relishing in the softness of her skin, the warmth it supplied him. He cleared his throat before continuing, steeling himself for her reaction to the rest of his tale, "I nearly killed the man." He stated flatly, his eyes consuming every inch of Kairi's face, gauging her reaction, "I did to him what I wanted to do to Moran."

"Oh…" She said softly, a tear finding its way out of her eye. "Oh, Sherlock." She reached up to hold his face in her hand and for a perfect moment, they felt at peace, united in their pain.

He gave her a small smile, "I became an integral member of the business. Books and beatings." He chuckled sadly, "It allowed most of my residual anger to be doled out in an appropriate way. For almost four months, I was their pawn and an effective tool to dissuade improper behavior. I allowed my anger to fuel my actions and for a while I relished in it." He closed his eyes, a wretched pain tearing through him despite Kairi's palm against his cheek. "I doubt I'll ever be able to completely let go of the hatred I have for Sebastian Moran. Though I am more than glad he is dead, I only wish that he could live for a moment longer, so I could kill him again," he growled in a low and menacing tone. He opened his eyes and looked down at Kairi and she stared at him with a knowing look, with understanding, "I elected a certain brutality during my time away. It seems I haven't completely left it behind."

Kairi scooted up his chest and pressed her lips against his, "Don't. Don't pretend it didn't happen." She whispered against him, "Pretending the pain doesn't exist, it wont help you, I promise you that. You have to deal with it, acknowledge it."

He held her face in his hands, "You don't know what I have done." His voice was sad and weary.

Kairi shook her head, "I don't care." She stared into his eyes, resolved and honest, "I honestly don't. Did you hurt anyone who didn't deserve it?"

He shook his head, "No, I became an enforcer against guilty men. No one thought the bookish new man on staff would be able to persuade people so efficiently." He almost chuckled, but disgust clenched his throat tight, "It actually strengthened my cover. No one believed a reputable accountant would want to work for an illegal operation. It allowed me much more freedom to gather the information I needed to bring it all crumbling down."

She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were surrounded by violence and such ugliness. I'm sorry you were alone and I didn't ask you to come home. I needed you and I was stupid to think that you didn't need someone too." She gripped him tightly as tears threatened to spill over, "I'm just glad you're alive. I want you back here with me Sherlock Holmes. I don't want to stay stuck in this past year, in the violence and the anger. I don't want to stay lost in self-hatred and loneliness. I want something different for us."

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her firm against his chest, "I think I agree. This is much more preferable than my previous living situation."

"Is it?" She murmured through a yawn.

He chuckled at the sound that hummed through them both, "Yes, living in a brothel and drug den wasn't the most harmonious experience."

"That sounds awful." She sighed and scooted closer, her eyes feeling heavier with each breath she heard rumbling in his chest. "But you're home now. You're with me." She held him tighter.

"Yes, I am and happy to be." He replied in a deep tone that caused her to hum against him.

"Good." She muttered sleepily and yawned against his chest, her breath seeping through his shirt and gracing his skin. "Good, one day at a time, one day, each day, and we'll remember who we are." Her voice lost its alertness and he could see her eyes fluttering shut, "You'll solve murders and dissolve things in acid and I'll fix computers and bake things and we'll be together and it will be all right."

"Yes." He said gently and pressed his lips into her hair as a certain ease washed over him.

"There will be cookies and crime and we'll be happy."

He chuckled lightly as she became lost in her exhausted meanderings, "Yes, I gather we might."

"I love you." She finally whispered, the words leaving a smile on her lips.

"I suppose I love you too." He whispered back with a small smile, the words granting him a certain peace as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel the happiness caused by her presence.

Tonight would be the first night neither of them had nightmares or dreamt of blood and pain.

Tonight, they finally had one another and they were the closest to peace they had been in the past year.

They had a long way to go, a long journey to find one another, but it all began that night, wrapped in each other's embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I understand that there are probably a lot of people upset with Sherlock and Kairi. I will defend them until my last breath if necessary, but I feel like there's still some background to clarify.
> 
> As for Kairi, before you start accusing her of being a horrible person, I want you to really imagine what it would be like for her. Then I want you to multiply it by a million to maybe understand just a fraction of what she's been through. Yes, yes, I know she's a fabricated character, but she's real to me. She's not a paragon of virtue or perfect or even sane. She is a confused, broken person who has suffered a lot (I'm not saying my fictional character's suffering is more real than anyone else's as a real human being, I'm just saying, in trying to portray her as a real, faulty, emotionally fragile human being, her actions will not always be perfect). As for her decision to be with Lestrade, in all honesty, I'm just happy that Kairi is even alive. Her strength is something I aspire to have... I've been through a lot less and felt like ending it all, so the fact that she's still trying to go to therapy and functioning and going to work and not drinking herself into a coma every single day after being raped twice, having her father murdered, her mother losing her mind, being stalked and assaulted, her best friend killed, the man she loves brutalized/tortured in front of her and visa versa, having her past exposed to all of her friends, she killed someone (no matter how justified it was, and I mean 500% justified), then Sherlock leaves, and then having her mother die. God! So before ANYONE decides to say she is a bad person, we will have words. And I try to be as nice as possible, and though I don't condone her actions, fact is, I think that searching for compassion and comfort in the arms of someone she trusts is not the worst thing she could do. Also, think of how terrifying it would be to try to be intimate with Sherlock after what they went through. He saw EVERYTHING he knows her shame... God...
> 
> Its VERY IMPORTANT for everyone to realize that Sherlock agreed to leave. Sherlock is stubborn, if he didn't want to go, he wouldn't have. He needed space just as much as she did. Lets not forget, Sherlock was also abused. Physically and emotionally. For the first time in his life he was TRULY helpless and hopeless. I don't know if all of you understand the weight of that statement and maybe its too OOC for some people, but whatever, I wanted a real story with pain and truth and growth. People don't grow if everything always stays the same. He feels WEAK for the first time in his life. And he is SCARED. That is a big deal. And remember, he CHOSE to take on that second case when he could have returned. He could have been there for her when her mother passed, but instead he went deep undercover and closed himself off to the rest of the world and hid for another 6 months and accepted the opportunity to beat other people up...He was ANGRY... He still is! His reaction isn't to seek comfort - he and Kairi are fundamentally different creatures (which is totally okay). He needed to express the pent up rage and pain and Kairi needed to feel like she was worth something before facing Sherlock in that way.
> 
> So, lets not play the blame game here...
> 
> My point is, NEITHER OF THEM ARE RIGHT OR WRONG. Both of them are severely emotionally traumatized and complex characters that have suffered greatly but still have the ability to love. I want you to really think about that before you say anything about either of them being bad people, because they aren't - they are fucked up and trying to keep it together. People have gone through horrible shit and understand just how hard it is to get up in the morning and face reality. I know how it feels to have someone tell you that they love you and feel absolutely sick and undeserving because that person means more than everything else you and you feel like their love is worth so much more than you are. The fact is, suffering doesn't make you weak, suffering may break you down, but it doesn't have to ruin you. It may affect you for the rest of your natural life, you may always be a little afraid, a little broken, but it doesn't mean you cant LIVE or cant be loved. You've got to help yourself before you can help anyone else and you can't always feel guilty about what you need to do for you... So yeah, gigantic PSA defending my characters and people with trauma in their histories, because you may never understand how much pain someone really goes through or why they make certain decisions... Not everyone will make the right decisions all the time, a lot of times people you love will fail you and sometimes you'll fail them. If we learn to communicate, prioritize needs, and be decent people, a lot of times we can find peace... I'm still working on it to be truly honest.
> 
> Much love my Holmies...and I promise, we've got nowhere else to go but up...


	9. Chapter 9

Kairi woke, feeling cold and alone. When her eyes finally blinked open, they felt heavy and crusted over from a full night of actual sleep, unaided by medication or intoxication. She glanced around, not finding her recent companion anywhere, but at least seeing Toby curled into a ball on the warm spot left by her detective. She smiled softly and reached out, rubbing along Toby's slack face. His eyes fluttered open slowly and he opened his mouth in a small smile, his tongue darting out to try to lick her while his tail whumped on the bed and shook it.

She giggled slightly and sat up. Terror did not grip her in being alone. She had no fear of Sherlock regretting his decision to spend the night with her. She wasn't surprised by an empty bed, but rather comforted by it. His absence was reminiscent of a time before, when things were somewhat normal. He would wake early, if he slept at all, and she would sleep in and be dead to the world until she had her coffee. He would go about his day, perhaps making her a cup if they were in his home, but at least starting up some experiment she would stumble upon later and ask questions about. It was an easy sort of give and take. She'd dole out compliments when she felt like he might want them, he'd explain things to her without being too patronizing and she'd happily listen. They were well suited for each other in that way and Kairi was anxious to get back to their odd sort of normalcy.

She stood from her bed, taking careful steps as her body stretched and popped with each movement. She felt rested, surprisingly, and relatively aware. Her hair was no doubt a mash around her head and she felt like her legs were made of lead as they guided her from her bedroom, but in the end she still just felt good. Over the last year, the medication needed to help her sleep usually ended up making her feel groggy, confused, and downright irritable. It was a shocking discovery to realize that she had not woken up once, screaming or crying. It was a realization that left a wide smile on her face and added a tiny skip to her step as she walked out to her kitchen to put some coffee on.

Once back in her bedroom, smiling at the blob of black and brown snuggling into her pillows, she checked her phone and saw two messages. One was from Sherlock and one from Molly. She didn't need to open up Sherlock's message as it was only one word:  _upstairs._  She chuckled softly at him, the decency he must have mustered up to send her a single word text had to have been astounding. She opened the text from Molly and saw that the pathologist wanted to come over to check on her and discuss bridesmaid dresses. Kairi replied that she would love her company.

She hopped into the shower to do her usual routine of hair and body maintenance. She felt optimism over her usual dread or emptiness as she hummed to herself while washing her hair. She even began whistling a preferred tune and giggled to herself, at least until she heard the scraping of nails on tile.

"No!" She screeched, but it was too late, Toby hastily clammored up the sides of the tub, clawing his way over the porcelain barrier to join his mistress in the shower. He loved water with a furious passion and the whistle from Kairi had done nothing but assure him that he was definitely invited in.

"Oh Toby!" Kairi said exasperated. Her frustration didn't last long as she was doing her best to stop her laughter from leaking out. He had always tried to join her in the shower and tub when he was tiny, it was only when he had grown to his full size that Kairi had to rectify the mistake of leaving her bathroom door open if she wanted to bathe alone.

This morning she was too preoccupied with her happiness that she forgot to latch the door. She allowed herself a laugh and decided to soap up the mongrel as well. Where Appa used to stare at her or pointedly not stare at her while in the bath, Toby would close his eyes and open his mouth while she rubbed him down with soap. He would bite at water droplets that tickled his nose or chase running suds down the drain. He was a very easy going pup, not that Appa wasn't, but he always had an attitude about certain things. Toby just seemed yo not have a care in the world. He enjoyed life as it came, whether it was lying in the sun that snuck in through the window or splashing in puddles on a rainy day. Kairi desperately wanted to adopt that same kind of persona where life was concerned.

After re-bathing herself, not wishing to smell of dog and all, she turned off the water and Toby pawed at the suds on the bottom of the tub, growling and yipping at their reluctance to play. She told him to stay while she dried herself off, closing the shower curtain to allow him to shake and wiggle the excess water from his limbs. Once wrapped up in her robe, she reopened the curtain to see him watching her with perked ears and a grin, as if surprised by her sudden materialization.

She grabbed a nearby towel and patted him as dry as he would get and then helped him lumber out of the tub and over to her counter where she could blow dry both of their hair. Luckily his short fur dried almost as quick as her hair. While he circled and spun, biting at the torrent of wind, Kairi couldn't help the smile on her face. When they were done with the blow dryer she'd leave his towel on the ground and he'd spend a good amount of time rolling around on it, getting all the bits that he believed underdone.

Sharing a shower, sipping coffee, having brunch with a close friend and possibly spending an afternoon with her boyfriend left her feeling at ease. They were all quite normal and domesticated activities — except perhaps the shower with the dog, but she'd try to leave that detail out. Once fluffy and content, dry and dressed, Kairi practically skipped into her kitchen to prepare her coffee and put down food for Toby. Knowing that Molly would arrive soon, she put on a kettle, thinking it might be nice to have some tea with her dear friend while they discussed bridesmaid dresses. She checked her pantry and was a little disappointed to realize that she didn't have any breakfast pastries or biscuits, but then her brain caught up and she recalled having a few cupcakes left over from her birthday. Really, cupcakes were just fancy muffins and they were made with strawberries, which were healthy, so it wouldn't be so odd to have them for breakfast.

As she laid everything out, her doorbell rang and Toby barked and whined at the door. The speed at which his tail wagged indicated the height of all possible excitement, so Kairi knew it must be Molly. Sharing Appa's wonderful taste in humans, Molly was one of Toby's favorite people. Kairi walked over and opened the door to see the pathologist, looking tentative, but with a bright smile on her face as Toby's whole body wagged around her, yipping for some attention. Kairi opened her mouth to say hello when Molly's eyes immediately darkened and her face fell to a frown.

"What?" Kairi muttered, unknowing of what would cause Molly to look so utterly pissed.

"Y-your neck…" Molly muttered after a tense moment of silence and rushed in, immediately dropping her bag, forgetting about the door and placing gentle hands on Kairi's bruises.

"Oh shit." Kairi muttered as Molly's eyes teared up, "Molly, I can explain…"

Molly looked up, furious and sad all at once, her eyes focusing on Kairi's face which was trying to seem apologetic, but had the tilt of happiness written all over. "Explain what? How he put his hands on you?! How he  _hurt_  you!?"

Kairi sighed, grabbing Molly's hands gently and removing them from her neck. She hadn't cared much when she looked in the mirror and saw minor bruises in the morning. She knew it was bad, what happened between her and Sherlock, but he was right in the end, his brutality hadn't been left behind and her insecurities couldn't be fucked away. It wasn't like the anguish they had both been through could be turned on and off like a tap.

"Please, let's have some tea and I'll tell you what happened." Kairi begged. "It's about time you knew anyway." She resigned with tears brimming in her eyes.

Kairi always regretted not including Molly in on the depths of some of her secrets. In the beginning it felt like the less people who knew about what she had gone through, the better. Some things were too painful to really go into detail about and with Sherlock gone, she could almost pretend like maybe, it just didn't really happen. That type of thinking hadn't lasted long through her therapy and she did discuss some things with her dear friends, but there were always bits and pieces she could barely think about without losing herself in panic. Her relationship with Lestrade, though she knew it had helped her, was always something that burned a horrible guilt sized hole in her gut. When she looked back at her friend, her eyes were pleading with her to just offer one chance.

Molly nodded, grabbing her things a bit roughly, still riled but at least willing to listen and they started to go to the kitchen, to prepare their tea and coffee, when the person who was least wanted in the room decided to show up.

"Ah, Molly. I didn't expect you to be here." Sherlock muttered, smiling in his pedantic way as he adjusted his cuffs and strode through the open front door intending to get another cup of coffee from Kairi.

"Shit…" Kairi let out in a tight exhale and looked at Molly and then back at Sherlock who immediately halted his steps.

Molly's mouth went to a thin line upon hearing his voice. When she turned, shucking her bags once more into a heap on the floor, Sherlock's face dropped his sarcastic smirk and he watched as she approached him swiftly with fire in her eyes. He didn't stop what was about to happen. He knew he deserved it.

Molly slapped him, hard.

"How  _dare_  you!" She rasped, tears forming in her eyes, grief and disappointment collapsing her throat. "How dare you lay a hand on her  _or_  Lestrade!" She seethed, her voice shaking with her timid rage.

"Molly wait!" Kairi muttered dumbly and followed after her. Kairi tried to step between them, Molly furious and Sherlock looking like a whipped boy, a sad acceptance permeating his features.

"No." Molly shook her head, her voice despondent but firm. She placed a gentle hand on Kairi, keeping her from moving to Sherlock's side, "No, don't defend him! I don't care what has happened, nothing excuses violent outbursts! It's petty and  _stupid_ and— and—and  _common!_ " She spat at Sherlock.

Sherlock took a step back, his shoulders slumping as he let out a heavy exhale. "I understand that there are some things you are unaware of Molly," Sherlock said in a soft and level tone, "I see that it may be wise for me to attend other duties while you two discuss things." He stiffened, not daring to say anything else because the look in Molly's eyes was deadly.

"Yes, I think it's wise you leave." Molly almost growled, her cheeks flushing red with her ire. "And you'd be wise to distance yourself from Kairi, Sherlock, she doesn't deserve  _this."_ Molly motioned to the slight bruising on Kairi's neck and shoulder, "She deserves much better than you."

Sherlock's lips were almost not existent as he chewed on them, actually looking nervous. He nodded to Molly, pain vibrant in his eyes as he went to turn. He chanced a glance at Kairi, who was teary as she looked between Molly and Sherlock obviously unsure of what to do. He nodded to her once and she gave him a weak smile before he tore his eyes away.

He left swiftly and Molly slammed the door after him. She pounded over to the kitchen and began to noisily make her tea while Kairi followed her hesitantly, a tiny bit scared. When Molly finally sat at Kairi's table, thinking heavily and looking downright pissed as she glared at her cup, Kairi approached and placed a plate of cupcakes in front of her. Molly looked at the offending pastries and back up at their baker, looking apologetic and nervous. A small smile tickled at Molly's lips, watching her friend looking downright mousey.

"There's a lot to explain." Kairi said in a small voice and then chuckled nervously. She sat down slowly, stiff and unsure of where to even start.

"Go on, I fear I'm in for a long discussion." Molly shook her head, "I can't  _believe_  him. Showing his face like that and acting like nothing happened!"

Kairi sighed, "I'm sorry, it's probably our fault. Things have been extremely consuming so far with us reuniting."

Molly sort of sighed and looked at her friend while she sipped tea, "Out with it then."

Kairi swallowed a sip of her coffee and looked at Molly who had a semi-subdued Toby inching closer to her to lay his head on her lap. No doubt eager for scratches and crumbles of cupcakes.

Kairi exhaled heavily and decided to just get the worst part over with, "Four months ago, Lestrade and I slept together." She spat it out quickly and then tensed for the reaction.

Molly choked on her most recent swallow. She sputtered, wiping at her mouth and staring at Kairi in absolute shock, "I'm sorry,  _what_?"

Kairi grimaced, "When my mother passed, I got sort of lost. You remember how horrible I was."

Molly nodded, "Yeah, I remember." She said sadly. "We were all really concerned for you."

Kairi gave her an appreciative smile, "I know and I was really confused and in pain. Therapy was helping to a degree, but, I don't know I was just really, really disoriented." She took another sip, "Lestrade was around a lot and I had this stupid idea in my head that I was this magnet for disaster. Like a shitstorm lightning rod, I was nothing good and I could never, ever  _be_  good." She had to swallow back the acute torment, because it was so easily refreshed in her mind, "I was starting with nightmares again, drinking too much. I was even tempted with cutting myself again." Molly gasped and Kairi sighed, "After my dad died, in college, I had done it a few times, but my mother caught me before she deteriorated, before I could do too much damage." Kairi bit her lip and tried not to cry, "Lestrade was there for me. He helped me through a lot of it and was just good to me in general. He was going through a lot with the divorce and we both just needed someone."

Molly sighed lightly, "Why didn't you reach out to me? You knew this wouldn't be good."

Kairi chuckled, "I know, but like I said, I thought I was poison. You and John were in the midst of looking for a venue and I just didn't want to taint your happiness. It was extremely selfish and close-minded."

Molly let a tear leak out, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Kairi smiled back and reached over to grasp Molly's hand, "You couldn't be, I wouldn't let you. But Lestrade was, he was going through horrible shit with his ex-wife. We both needed each other and it was just this sort of desperate thing we agreed to. It was one time and it helped us both, but we both agreed that it wouldn't happen again. We didn't want that from each other."

Molly sighed and added a mutter, "He would, you know."

Kairi was shocked out of her own thoughts, "Would what?"

"Lestrade. He'd want that from you," Molly insisted, "If you ever got over Sherlock —,"

Kairi shook her head, "No Molly, there's no  _getting over_  Sherlock." She said in a sad sort of way, "Him and I, we just have a bond that I don't have with anyone else. Greg knows that." Kairi steeled herself for what was to come, "What I went through…" She began as tears formed in her eyes, "It wasn't just to break me, Molly. Moran wanted to break Sherlock too."

Molly looked befuddled, "I don't understand. Why would Moran want to hurt Sherlock?"

Kairi sighed, "He was Moriarty's right hand. The way he talked about him and the way he hated Sherlock, I assume Moran and Moriarty's relationship when a bit further than employee and employer. He seemed really affected by Moriarty's death." She glanced at Molly who looked a bit shocked, "The thing is, and no one else knows this, but what Moran did was just as much about hurting me as it was about hurting Sherlock."

Molly was on the verge of tears again, "Did he — to Sherlock?"

Kairi bit her lip, "No. Not to Sherlock, but he —," Kairi reined in a sob, shutting her eyes and regretting it as Moran's face flashed before her eyes, "Moran raped me in front of him. Forced Sherlock to watch. He beat him to gain compliance from me; if I acted out, he'd hurt Sherlock." Kairi shuddered, opening her eyes when Sherlock's tormented face formed in her thoughts, "He tried to use us against each other. Threatened to kill Sherlock if I — I didn't do what —what he wanted." Kairi finished in a small voice. Her body shook drastically with the memory and the disgust that washed over her. She couldn't stop herself from weeping.

"Oh God." Molly sobbed and reached out, taking Kairi's cup out of her hand and then pulling her into her arms. "Oh God, that's so beyond horrible." Molly shuddered out a harsh breath as she held Kairi close, "I love you so much, I'm so sorry." She whispered against her broken friend.

Kairi quaked in Molly's arms, the pain of what happened to her and Sherlock would have to be unveiled, it would have to be exposed in some manner for everyone else to understand just how much they meant to one another. This was a new story that needed to be written between them and their friends. It seemed that the first few acts had not been well received. There was too much subtext to be observed or explained. It would be a difficult process, but eventually their friends may come to understand the tragedy of Sherlock and Kairi's relationship. It didn't make much sense, how ferociously they cared for the other person, how ill-advised their behavior would seem, without some explanation. The justification was threaded within their suffering.

"That's why I sent him off. It's why I asked him to leave." Kairi cried, "And he did it. He did it because he was mad and he couldn't do anything about it. I killed Moran, Molly, I shot him I don't even know how many times! I killed him and it ended up helping me, in this horrible way, but it didn't help Sherlock." She sobbed, turning her face into Molly to hide from the world, "I couldn't focus on anything except the hate. I couldn't see that he was lost too. He was in pain and he left and I was so selfish."

Molly took in a deep breath and pulled Kairi away from her, staring deep into her eyes with resolve, "Don't you start that with me." She insisted, her voice wavering, "Don't you dare say that you were selfish! You did what you needed to do and Sherlock is a stubborn man! If he didn't need it as much as you, he wouldn't have left!"

Kairi looked into the eyes of her friend, so very strong and resilient and she felt so proud to be loved by someone like Molly, "I'm sorry." She shook her head and Molly held her closer, "It's all a mess. We both are."

Molly gasped then, with a sudden realization. "Oh, now I see — he figured it out then? Sherlock figured out that you slept with Lestrade?"

Kairi sniffled, "Yeah, before I could tell him. We fought and he grabbed me." She sighed heavily, "I'm not excusing him hurting Lestrade or grabbing me, but he was just as confused as me. He's in pain too. I can't tell you what he's been through while he's been away, but he's not been in a good place either, Molly." She sat up to look Molly face to face, "When I told him he was hurting me, you should have seen the look on his face." She shook her head and cried, "I've never seen him so terrified in my life. Not after the bomb with the Sandman, not when we talked about how he felt for me, not even when we were with Moran." She was pleading with Molly now, "He was absolutely terrified." She sighed and admitted, "And I was too."

Molly shook her head, looking into Kairi's eyes and heaving out a deep breath, "Oh my."

Kairi just sort of chuckled at Molly's timid response, "Yeah, exactly. I told him about my reasons, I was honest about Lestrade. I told him everything I felt and thought about it all and…" Kairi sighed heavily as tears stung her eyes, "And he didn't leave. He stayed." She laughed and bit her lip, "I know it's  _so odd_  Molly, but you need to afford him some sort of leniency. This is all so beyond fucked, I can't even begin to help you understand."

She looked at Molly who gnawed on her own lip and stared at her broken friend. Molly nodded slowly.

"I — I won't say I understand, because I haven't been through what you two have been through. I can't begin to even imagine…" Molly's voice broke and she cleared her throat, "All of it, I'm just so sorry." She shook her head, "I'm mad at him for his behavior towards Lestrade and putting his hands on you, but he has to know that can't happen. He can't behave this way with us, he can't act so savagely. We want to help. We love  _you_. We love  _him_. "

Kairi nodded, "I think Sherlock and I have been believing a very long time that we are completely undeserving of that sentiment." She looked up at Molly who looked pained, "You are right though, Molly, I can't fuck away the pain, I'm not that person and he can't act like a brute, but he definitely isn't that man. He doesn't want to hurt people, he doesn't." Kairi sighed, "But he has a lot of hate in him, a lot of pain, I think it took him over for a while. Now that he's back he's not sure how to be."

Molly slowly nodded, "Well he's got you." She said pointedly, "You are not darkness Kairi, you are just about everything that is bright in this world. If anyone can help him, it's got to be you and he's got to be willing to help himself.

Kairi smiled wide at Molly who beamed right back at her, "He is. I know he is. I just think it's harder for him than anyone else. He doesn't know love like we know it. It's different and it's so very scary to him."

Molly sighed, "Yes, I suppose so." She finally reached for her tea and took a sip, making a face because it had gone cold. She eyed a cupcake for a moment and slid the plate over to Kairi, "Eat up, I don't want to see you get emaciated again."

Kairi chuckled grabbing a pastry and then pushed the plate to her friend, "You either, the wedding isn't allowed to stress you out so much. You're already too skinny."

Molly scrunched up her nose and stuck out her tongue at her friend, "I'm perfectly within an acceptable body weight range, thank you very much."

Kairi gave her a wink and sipped her coffee. Toby happily received ear rubs from a thoughtful Molly.

"So…" Kairi began and Molly glanced at her nervously, "Dresses?"

Molly just chuckled, "Yeah, all right. Where's your computer?"

Kairi smiled wide as she got up and went to search for it.

—

Sherlock approached the apartment without hesitation. A deep seated distaste was coursing through his veins over what he was about to do, but he had enough decency to know it was required. He raised his hand and knocked on the door to the small apartment and waited to be allowed in.

The door opened slowly and only halfway, revealing a stiff looking man in plain clothes, "Oh for christ's sake, what do you want?" Lestrade grumbled, looking a bit worse for wear. "Not get a good enough beat down last night, you had to come back?"

Sherlock took in a breath, hackles rising at the challenge. He wouldn't admit it, but yes, he dearly wanted to punch the officer in the face. It was not befitting for the moment though. Sherlock did not allow himself insipid behaviors, especially not towards people he believed to be friends. Well, at least not often.

"I've come to apologize in a way." Sherlock growled through grit teeth.

Lestrade straightened and opened the door wider, a bitter grin on his face, "Well, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I guess I should accept it and apologize myself…" He paused giving Sherlock a tight grin, "In a way."

Sherlock adjusted his coat and then walked in. Lestrade closed the door behind him and motioned to the kitchen where he was preparing tea. Sherlock sat at the small dining table without invitation as Lestrade went about pulling out another cup, some milk and sugar. Sherlock tried very hard not to seethe about the fact that he was in the same room as the man who had slept with Kairi. The man who had placed his hands on the one thing Sherlock cherished most in this world. The bitterness was burning within him, but he tried to ignore it. He admitted his love for her and he meant it. This testament was something he was not likely to back down from. He should afford a certain amount of decency towards Lestrade, someone she cared for, and a man that he too once called a friend.

Lestrade approached with a tea tray and laid it on the table, pouring tea for Sherlock and himself before adding his own fixings to his cup. Sherlock went about adding some sugar and a bit of milk to his, stirring it gently. They both sat in a tenuous silence for a few minutes, sipping tea and neither man wanting to admit defeat and actually apologize first.

Lestrade put down his cup and leveled a glare at Sherlock who replied with his own scowl, "You know, I care a lot for her Sherlock. I'd gladly take a beating for Kairi, any day of the week." He cleared his throat and Sherlock tried not to bristle, "I know that you've been there already. I saw the aftermath of what happened between you two and Moran." He sat up straighter and softened his gaze on Sherlock who was still stiff and unyielding, "I can also put two and two together, I'm not a complete halfwit —," that earned a small scoff from the consulting detective, "—shut it — I know that your report was not exactly what happened. I know what he did to you both. I think I know what he forced on both of you in different ways."

Sherlock fought hard to keep control, the slightest clench of his jaw and twitch in his lip was enough to signal his discomfort and fury over the entire topic. No one needed to be privy to what Kairi had endured. No one needed to know just how much that entire episode broke Sherlock apart. "Yes, well I was hoping it wouldn't need to be exposed. Kairi had already gone through well enough."

Lestrade nodded, "Yeah I gathered that. It's why I didn't press the matter." He admitted gruffly, "It's why I took to being there for her when she wanted me. I don't just mean what happened between us, but over the entire last year, I was watching out for her."

Sherlock leveled him with a very serious glare, "As was I." He said through grit teeth.

Lestrade gave a small smile and sipped his tea, "Yeah, the homeless chap. Saw him hanging about every so often. Figured you'd have others keeping an eye out."

"Well, I guess I give you less credit than you deserve." Sherlock didn't hide his belittling smirk before sipping his tea. It was dreadful.

Lestrade chuckled, "I've been saying that to you for years."

Sherlock's smile quickly faded as he took another sip and was still left disappointed, "I understand what happened between you and Kairi while we were apart. I do not like it, but anything that truly helped her heal from our interaction with Moran is something I will be grateful for." The growl was forming on his lips and he tried his hardest to contain his rage, "Though I am thankful she wasn't alone during my time away, though I am happy someone was there for her when she needed it, it's within my knowledge to grasp a taken man when I see one." He slowly looked up at Lestrade who shifted slightly in his seat. "I am not a petty man Lestrade —," now Lestrade chuckled, which resulted in a small grimace from his pain, "—I am not  _usually_  a petty man, but Kairi is…" Sherlock paused, the words thick in his throat, "She is important to me." Sherlock adjusted his stance, squaring himself to focus the full brunt of his glare upon Lestrade, "I understand that she is important to you as well and there was a time that she needed you, but that time is  _over_."

Lestrade glared now, anger heavy in his tone, "Listen mate —,"

Sherlock interrupted, his voice even, but ebbing with his wrath, "No,  _you_  listen, Lestrade. Your infatuation with her must end and it must end  _now_."

Lestrade bristled, "You don't get it you prat! You don't get to tell me how to feel about her and you don't get to tell her how to feel about me. I care for that girl in a lot of ways. I understand she is  _taken_ , I'm not an idiot nor a bastard. I watch out for her and I'm a friend. I may not be  _you_ ,  _The Great Sherlock Holmes_ ," He spat with disdain, "but I'm a damn good man and she deserves all the good she can get." He added and stiffened, "If you even understood half of the way she feels about you, then you should be able to get that through your thick skull. She's a loving person and she always will be. Threaten me all day and night, but fact is, as long as she wants me, I'm gonna be there for her. You can't stop that."

Sherlock shook his head and laughed, "You misunderstand Lestrade. I'm not threatening you to stop being in her life or to stop being her friend. I am telling you that you can no longer feel for her to the extent that you do. Stop  _lusting_  after her, don't attempt to persuade her into some sort of fantastical relationship with a  _normal_  man." He growled, his grip on his tea cup tightening, "There are few things in this world that I am viciously protective of and Kairi is at the top of that list."

"Sherlock —," Lestrade said with a taught jaw.

"I am not telling you to be absent from her life. She is perfectly capable of distancing herself from that night with you. She already has." Sherlock spat and he had to admit, the tiny bit of sadness behind Lestrade's eyes pleased him, but he shook it off. He did not come here to get into a pissing match. He only came to clarify, "She cares for you and I accept that. However, she is precious to me." He growled, not wanting to admit to the deeper seeded feelings arising in his chest.

The anger in his chest was now forming towards the man who deserved it, the man who was long dead. He focused his glare on Lestrade, who looked resolved, "Kairi and I have a link to each other. A sordid connection forged through the deepest sort of anguish you can barely fathom. You do not know what that is like, nor am I sure you want to." He shook his head, gritting his teeth to remain in control, "You don't understand how painful it is to have such a small remnant of light, the smallest inkling of hope that you can merely survive the next day…" He looked at Lestrade again who's eyes were sad, "You don't know how it feels to need someone like that. To... Love someone that way." Sherlock regretted telling him the depth of his affection for Kairi the moment it left his lips.

Lestrade's jaw dropped in that moment, staring almost blankly at Sherlock who sat before him, looking furious, but vulnerable. Lestrade cleared his throat and grabbed his tea cup for a sip, "No Sherlock, I guess I don't."

Sherlock cleared his throat, "So we have an understanding?"

Lestrade nodded, "I promise you though, I'm not going anywhere. I care for her and if you so much as  _look_  at her wrong, Sherlock I'll —,"

Sherlock snapped, "You'll do nothing!" He growled, "There was a time when I was a patient man Lestrade. There was a time when I was remotely even tempered, but I am no longer that man. I am  _quickly_  losing my patience for people who believe to understand what Kairi and I have been through." He focused his most serious glare at the detective, "I would be most  _appreciative_  if people stopped pretending they have any idea what is best for either of us."

Lestrade rolled his shoulders and stared back at the consulting detective and sighed, "Look, we just want to help you two."

Sherlock grimaced, "I think you've helped more than enough."

Lestrade sighed in response, "Sherlock, stop this…"

Sherlock rose his hand to halt Lestrade's speech, "Understand me Lestrade, you are her friend, you are even my friend despite my feelings towards your relationship with her. You, Molly, John, and even Mrs. Hudson have no idea what you are all facing at this point. Kairi and I barely do." He placed his cup back on the table and stood, "At this point, Kairi is my last link to peace. The sentiment I carry for the rest of you varies from person to person, but what her and I share is dark and dangerous.  _None_  of you can grasp it. I did not come here because I am a violent, self-conscious, prideful man that feels threatened by your presence," He spat, "I came here because she is my last redeeming feature. She is my remaining link to the humanity that I have forsaken for so long. I will  _not_  risk having her absent from me again.  _That_  is why I came here." Sherlock turned from the conversation, admitting enough for the time being and wishing he never came.

"We may not get it, but we still want to be there for you two." Lestrade sighed.

Sherlock paused as he got to the door, his hand grasping the knob as he allowed himself one last glance, "And so you shall. But you cannot begin to understand why it is we need each other." He exhaled heavily and added, "And I almost hope that you never have to."

As he opened the door, Lestrade's phone rang.

"Sherlock, wait." Lestrade said hesitantly and Sherlock turned slowly, watching him look at his phone in surprise, "It's from Bart's."

Sherlock's interest was instantly piqued and he shoved thoughts of Kairi and Lestrade to the side for now.

"Yeah." Lestrade said into the phone and then glanced at Sherlock for a second and waved him back in. Sherlock rolled his eyes and closed the door, standing anxiously and waiting for the time for social interaction to be over. "Yeah. Be there in a bit, I've got Sherlock with me." He listened for a moment, "Right, call in Molly. I want her opinion on the lab reports." Lestrade hung up the phone and gave a small smile to Sherlock who was standing at the door and looking slightly uncomfortable. "Lucky you Mr. Holmes. Toxicology reports are back and they want me in. Evidently there's something odd with the results."

Sherlock looked inquisitive, "Odd?"

"Yeah, victim died of a heart attack, but had no history of heart issues that I know of." Lestrade smiled and he saw Sherlock begin ticking away at facts stored in his mind. "So, friends?"

Sherlock's eyes refocused on Lestrade and shot him a dark glare, "Don't get ahead of yourself. Get dressed," He growled and then a small smile crept onto his lips, "There's a killer on the loose."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Oh Mylanta! I have been so uninspired lately. I don't know why but my brain is MUSH. And it doesn't help that all I want to be doing is consuming Captain America media like a crazy person *sighs*... So this chapter was definitely less emotionally debilitating and I really, really am sorry for putting everyone through it.
> 
> Another point I want to bring up, since a lot of my stories deal with trauma and dark things, I WANT to know if any of my stuff actually triggers anyone. I'm very bad with tagging my stuff as I'm not accustomed to paying attention to triggering media - I don't know if I have a warped constitution or because I never know what will send me, personally, into a panic that I can't exactly anticipate what some people might find disturbing. So please let me know if there's anything specific that I can tag to help people out. My stories deal with pretty heavy stuff - it has to do with my own dealings and healings and I explore a lot of things in order to expand my thoughts and understandings and basically trying to show people that trauma and mental illness are not the end all be all of who you are. You can still love and be loved. You can define your own sexuality. You can choose your own partners and friends. You can even make mistakes. So I'm sorry if some of it ended up being too much for some readers. Please let me know what I can do, or if you want to talk, to help you out. You MATTER to me, not just the reviewers or the follows/favorites, but guests and anons and all of my hits. I MEAN it. Don't ever think that just because I don't know your name or what you look like that you don't matter to me because you do. You have helped me heal by listening to my words and exploring my characters and it has done AMAZING things for me, so please, know this, you matter to me and I will do whatever I can to fix any issues I may have contributed to. Or hell, if you just want to chat. You can find me on Tumblr: SaraRoseUrBoat or message me anyway on here.
> 
> Either way, like I said, we are essentially out of the woods as far as debilitating emotions go. This story is about rebuilding - and oh okay, murder, all right? You got me, I couldn't escape the murder part - and how these characters will learn to heal and find their lives again. It may not be the same or perfect, but they'll find happiness in their own ways. Which is beautiful to me and I still cant express my thanks enough to Flaming-Amber for the title of this story because gosh almighty, it just keeps becoming more and more true with each word I write (god, if I can get focused enough to actually write).
> 
> Much love my Holmies! And don't forget that in a few more reviews I'll post my smutlock! :D


	10. Chapter 10

Kairi and Molly sat at Molly's desk, flipping through results for blood and tissue tests from St. Bart's toxicology unit. Molly was frowning as she studied the information supplied regarding the alleged second victim and Kairi flipped through her copy, highlighting anything that seemed important. Kairi wasn't an expert and it wasn't exactly necessary, but she wanted to be useful.

"Molly, what's this about increased intraocular pressure?" Kairi mumbled, highlighting the measurements indicating the raised levels. "Is that important? Do eyes only swell when people get murdered or something?"

Molly shook her head slightly, highlighting something in her own pages, "Well, it's literally just the fluid pressure inside the eye."

Kairi shrugged, "Oh, I guess that's pretty straightforward. But why order tests on the eyeballs?"

Molly looked up, smiling pleasantly. If Kairi would have asked Sherlock it would have been a vigorous display of eye rolls and sighing before berating her stupidity. Molly just shrugged, "It's a pretty common practice actually, but I thought the eyes themselves looked a little odd and asked the techs to run some extra tests on them."

Kairi nodded and looked back down at the figures, "So there weren't any results indicating toxins in eye fluid? But you were right, the —" Kairi flipped back to see the abbreviation, "the IOP was raised — pretty drastically it seems. Could that be a result of the trauma?"

Molly scrunched up her face in thought, "Not likely the trauma, I'm a little lost with those results. No contamination, but increased IOP. Increased IOP usually an indication of someone suffering from glaucoma, but it's odd in this case because the victim didn't have glaucoma."

Kairi nodded, "That is kind of weird. Heart attack in an otherwise healthy heart. Increased fluid pressure in the eye indicative of glaucoma without glaucoma." She tapped her nails against her teeth for a moment and then addressed Molly again, "Did she take any medication that could cause increased IOP? Is that a thing? God, I hope it's not a thing… Medication to make your eyes burst!" Kairi gave a full body shudder at the thought.

Molly chuckled and was about to reply when the door to her lab crashed open and Sherlock and Lestrade came bounding in looking seriously pissed off, both of them jostling through the door at the same time, trying to fight for purchase. Molly glanced at Kairi whose own eyes looked to be a bit swollen as she took in their combined testiness. Molly tried not to chuckle and reached down to her desk to gather up two more copies of the lab results.

"Hello boys." Molly smiled a bit mischievously and it seemed that neither of them were in the mood for teasing.

"Results, Molly." Sherlock spat as he walked forward, whipping off his coat with a flourish. He stopped in front of Molly tossing the coat on her desk and reached out an expectant hand. She tried not to grin and she placed the stack of papers in his grasp. He glanced at Kairi and frowned at her shocked face. "What's wrong with you?"

She had been looking at Lestrade. He seemed irate compared to his usual air of nonchalance. She wanted to be concerned, but she was nervous over all of last night's happenings. She looked at Sherlock and then remembered to breathe, "Uh, nothing. Talking about eyeballs makes me squeamish."

He glared at her for a moment and his eyes ticked up and down her frame. "Oh." He sounded severely disinterested. Sherlock turned to the results in hand and opened up the packet to read through them quickly as Kairi shuffled over to Molly's desk to sit and hide.

"Give me a summary Molly?" Lestrade said, slightly glaring in the direction of the retreating Kairi. He knew it wasn't the time to be bringing up any of the drama of the last twenty-four hours. He cleared his throat, finally shook off most of his ire, and gave Molly a small smile.

"Right, well," Molly began, flipping through her notes, "Patient ended up dying from pulmonary edema caused by a heart attack."

"And that's odd because? She was getting ripped into little bits, I'm sure it was something like shock." Lestrade intoned, glancing at the numbers that seemed to swim before his eyes.

Sherlock scoffed at that and Molly tutted him, replying to Lestrade, "Yes, well, I mean circulatory shock could do it, but I didn't find alarmingly varied levels of oxygen in the sampled tissues which is usually our indicator. So no, I don't think the heart attack was caused by her injuries."

"Any drugs present in her system?" Lestrade added as an aside as he flipped through the pages.

Molly frowned and dug through her papers again, "Yes, just a moment."

Sherlock finally chimed in, "Galantine and Citalopram." He let his mind wander, trying to see if these drugs and their uses were archived in his mind palace.

"Yes." Molly added slowly, "Hold on, I think they added what those are commonly used for."

"Those are Alzheimer's medications." Kairi piped up from Molly's desk, leaning around the computer she was artfully hiding behind. She shifted uncomfortably as everyone looked to her. "My mother was put on some of them in the earlier days of her diagnosis." Kairi said disjointedly, staring at the charts again, "Did the victim have Alzheimer's?"

Sherlock chuckled, "No, no she did not. As a triage nurse, I would assume she'd need to be in top condition."

Lestrade nodded, "Right, no Alzheimer's, no history of heart problems, what the hell would she need those medications for? Would they cause a heart attack?"

Molly shrugged, "No, not that's been documented." She flipped through the pages again, searching for something that was tickling against her thought process, "There was something else. Something else to do with blood and tissue that was off."

"Uhhh," Kairi began flipping back through her notes to see if she'd highlighted anything within that section, "well, you already mentioned normal levels of oxygen in tissue samples." She said, sounding exasperated.

"Right." Molly frowned further and Lestrade was digging through the papers as well, leaning in to peak at Molly's to see what notes she had scribbled on the side.

"Not this?" He pointed to a particular section of her writing that was almost illegible.

"No…" Molly said sounding abnormally frustrated, and Lestrade made a nervous face and backed off.

"Hormones?" Kairi added a little desperately.

"No, damn! Where is it?" Molly grumbled and the only sound for the next ten-seconds was quiet murmuring and the hasty shuffling of papers.

"Potassium Levels?" Lestrade said slowly, reading the figures that had been flagged within his copy of the results.

"Yes!" Molly said excitedly, "Increased levels of Potassium in muscle tissue. It could have been a cause for the heart attack." She stared down at her pages again, "Now, why increased levels of potassium?"

"Lots of bananas?" Kairi added mostly to herself, but the silence that ensued made her look up at the faces of her friends around her who all seemed positively unamused. "Right. The computer expert will shut up now."

"Good." Sherlock grumbled as he placed the papers on one of the autopsy tables and sat himself on a stool. Kairi spat something in an undertone that he did not catch, but he ignored it. He resumed his thinking stance and closed his eyes while he began to process the bare facts of the toxicology examination in the silence of the room. The only drugs in the victim's system were Galantine and Citalopram, which Kairi so helpfully classified as Alzheimer's medications. Increased levels of potassium in the blood could have been result of a kidney malfunction.

"Did the victim have kidney issues?" Sherlock spoke aloud, not directly addressing anyone in particular.

Another shuffling of papers, "No." Molly chimed in, "You're thinking the Hyperkalemia is a clue?"

Sherlock's eyes remained closed, "Yes well, no burns, no tumors, no kidney problems — why would potassium levels be raised?" He hummed for a short moment. "What were you discussing before we arrived? Something to do with eye balls?"

Molly chuckled, "Yeah, the victim had increased intraocular pressure."

Sherlock opened his eyes and frowned as he looked at Molly, "Glaucoma?"

Molly shook her head in response and then went back to looking through the results.

Sherlock hummed slightly and closed his eyes for another moment. He tried to think back on the evidence that was at the scene of the crime. The victims were staked down, cut up, but did not actually die from their injuries. As Molly has mentioned, shock was out, but two elderly though healthy people with seemingly fine hearts both died from violent heart attacks. Though no medication or drug was present in their blood and tissue samples to indicate why their hearts were under an increased amount of stress, the hearts eventually gave out resulting in a quick escape from their disembowlment.

Abduction, subjugation, immobilization, laceration, and vivisection; all of these things were the requirements of the Sandman. Vivisection and laceration were done so with surgical precision using a surgical instrument. Immobilization was completed with brutal force and the use of rudimentary, if slightly evocative tools. Abduction occurred when the victims were tired or unsuspecting, coming home from a long day at work or a relaxing night at the nearest club. Subjugation was the only thing that was missing from this conundrum and Sherlock was beginning to grow tired of the lacking evidence. No head wounds that would have stunned the victim; no drug present in the blood stream to knock them out; it occurred in a relatively public place so it would need to be quick and efficient in rendering a person unconscious. All of these things were pointing to something he was missing and it was infuriating. He retreated back into his mind palace and tried to calm his annoyance.

"OH!" Sherlock erupted and everyone jumped in surprise.

Kairi dropped her stack of papers in surprise and cursed, kneeling to the ground as she swept them up. She glanced up at Sherlock who had that wide predatory grin on his face as he grabbed the documents again and began typing on his phone while reading back and forth. He was mumbling to himself, chucking while he flipped through whatever was on his mobile's screen.

"What is it?" Lestrade finally asked, annoyed at the display.

Sherlock slammed down his papers and smiled wide at Lestrade and Molly. His eyes searched for Kairi until he found her on the floor sweeping up papers, "What are you doing on the floor? I'm trying to be brilliant here and you're missing it."

Kairi shot him a dirty look but there was a bit of humor in it, "You surprised me with your girlish squeal of excitement and I dropped all my papers."

Sherlock scowled at her, "I do not  _squeal_."

Lestrade rolled his eyes and cleared his throat pointedly, "Sherlock…"

Sherlock looked to Lestrade and leveled him with an ominous glare and then remembered why he was speaking in the first place and added as an aside, "Patience dear Inspector - though that's not your strong point." Sherlock refocused his thoughts, "Ah yes!" He chuckled again and shook the phone in his hand. "You see, it's what we are missing that is the most important factor."

Lestrade and Molly froze, staring at him quite confusedly.

"What?" Molly murmured, staring at Sherlock as Kairi finally stood, rearranging her papers as she came to stand with the rest of them. "What have we missed?"

"Well, it should be of no surprised that Lestrade missed it, slow as he is." Sherlock added quickly which resulted in an incensed huff from the Inspector, "It's not what's there, it's what isn't there."

Kairi gave Sherlock an odd look and chuckled, " _Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."_

Sherlock glanced at her, his mind quieted for a moment and he felt a rush of endorphins flow through his already stimulated thoughts. "We have evidence of means for his other methods — kidnapping, cutting, gutting, pining down… But we are missing the  _how_ …"

Lestrade broke the reverie, "Are you all right? Sounds like you're speaking tongues. What in the hell does that even mean? What is the  _evidence_  Sherlock?"

Kairi chuckled placing her papers on the desk and approaching Lestrade, "Simply because there  _isn't_  evidence of something doesn't mean that this something doesn't exist." She faced Sherlock, a glittering in her eyes now that she'd caught on. "So, you're saying the absence of data is representative of how he subdues his victims?"

"I could kiss you." Sherlock blurted out and then blushed slightly, clearing his throat and turning away from her.

Kairi smiled wide, leaning into the table next to Lestrade, "Do you frequently kiss people you take on cases?"

Sherlock scowled at her and ignored her comment and practically snarled back at her, "What we are not finding is a clue."

"I'm sorry what? Maybe we shouldn't have brought you in yet. Maybe you still need to acclimate." Lestrade intoned again, clearly frustrated with the tone of the conversation. That earned him a deep glare from Sherlock.

Molly chuckled, but it soon fell into a frown, "So you're saying that the absence of some sort of evidence is actually further proof that there really is something we should be looking for?" Molly scoffed, "That's counterintuitive."

Sherlock smiled back at Molly, "Only when the absence of evidence indicates a fallacy of informal logic."

Kairi chuckled, "So the absence of results for the blood and tissue tests are implying…" She paused, her mind going blank for a second, "Shit, wait, now I'm confused."

"Can we stop the philosophical chat?" Lestrade grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Sherlock what the hell do you  _have_?"

Sherlock smiled, "What we have here is proof that there is the absence of evidence."

"God damnit…" Lestrade grumbled, "Fucking mental, you are."

"Shut up." Sherlock growled and then continued, "In the first murder we had almost no evidence to go on. The body was already eight to ten hours old and most of the evidence had already been metabolized or degraded in that time because the organs had been exposed to the outside world. Nothing could be victim's massive heart attack was all you had to go on other than the evisceration. The heart attack could have been caused by the trauma in combination with his old age — so that salient factor was pretty much ignored."

He smiled now, glancing between his phone and flipping through the toxicology notes, "Now we have the second victim whose body was only approximately four hours gone since time of death. Evidence had not degraded as drastically in that span of time, as we were able to find the Alzheimer medication and the increased levels of potassium in blood and tissue, not to mention increased intraocular pressure."

"What?" Lestrade still looked confused. "Those are all unique factors. What do they have to do with what we are missing? Maybe it was too soon to call you in mate." He spat a little bitterly.

Sherlock waved him away and continued, "What we are looking at isn't just the evidence, it's the  _symptoms._ " Sherlock smiled and glanced at Molly and Kairi whose frowns deepened as they glanced at the material again.

"Right." Molly nodded, "No, wait, not right. Repeat that?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes and turned sharply, beginning to stalk around the lab as he spoke, "What these results have shown us is that the second victim died of pulmonary edema cause by a heart attack. No history of any heart issues and yet here we are!" He chuckled, "Now, sudden heart attack, pulmonary edema, Hyperkalemia, increased IOP, all of these occurrences were taken in as separate, finite pieces of evidence." He came closer to the group again.

"So you think they are all connected?" Kairi added and flipped through the papers, glancing up at a grinning Sherlock as he passed in front of her.

"Toxicology suggests that they aren't connected though. The only substances in her blood and tissue were the Alzheimer meds — Molly already told us that those weren't the cause. How is something that isn't there supposed to tell us what's actually there?" Lestrade paused for a moment, repeating his sentence in his head to make sure it actually made sense.

Sherlock chuckled, "Ah, yes but the absence of proof of the connection's occurrence cannot be used as positive proof of its non-occurrence."

"What?" Molly muttered, "Sherlock, enough with the philosophy!"

"Please, it's ludicrous — even for you." Lestrade scoffed and Sherlock scowled at him.

Sherlock ignored the infuriating inspector and walked over to Kairi who was deep in thought, staring down at her papers, "So, something —  _evidence_  that links all of these together is missing? Well, there was no evidence of exterior coercion so it must be interior." She paused and looked up at Sherlock who was staring at her intently, "So where could it have gone? If it's not in the body it means…well it had to disappear somehow." She stared down at the paper again, "What can the body burn through that quickly?"

Sherlock smiled wide and pulled Kairi in for a deep kiss which surprised her but left her pliant and a bit fuzzy brained when he walked away, practically skipping.

"So what causes all of these things? How can we tie them together?" Sherlock smiled wide taking in the thoughtful Molly, the confounded Lestrade, and the willowy Kairi. He stalked in front of them, back and forth, back and forth for a few minutes while they stood there thinking, "Oh come now, all of you are so dull!"

Lestrade growled, "Damnit all Sherlock, just tell us you smarmy prick!"

He chuckled and tossed his phone to Lestrade who just barely caught it against his chest, "What?" Lestrade murmured, bringing up the phone and swiped it open, checking the website that was on the screen. "What the hell is suck-suckeen-suckeenal — what the  _hell_  is this?"

"Succinylcholine!" Molly shouted excitedly and looked up at Sherlock who was grinning at her.

"Not just Succinylcholine, but most likely Rocuronium as well." He grinned and then looked to Kairi who was beaming at him brightly. "Two popular, powerful, fast acting, and most importantly  _quickly_  metabolizing anesthetics."

"So these things wouldn't show up on a tox-screen because they metabolize too quickly?" Kairi smiled, looking at Molly and Sherlock.

Sherlock nodded, "Correct, this specific anesthetic is a nicotinic acetylcholine receptor agonist, used to induce muscle relaxation and short-term paralysis." He glanced back at Lestrade, "All of the symptoms in our victim, heart attack, potassium levels, intraocular pressure levels, are all indicative of a Succinylcholine and Rocuronium overdose."

Molly frowned, "But the likelihood of overdose is quite small — even when used improperly. Specific factors must be present for someone to go in Hyperkalemia and have that cause a heart attack. Not to mention, paralysis from those two anesthetics only range from something like eight minutes to an hour tops!"

Sherlock smiled wide again and chuckled, "Yes, our killer is quite knowledgeable. That is why he used the alzheimer's medication. Those two inhibit butyrylcholinesterase, which quickly degrades Succinylcholine. If butyrylcholinesterase is inhibited, its presence in plasma is greatly reduced, thus allowing paralysis to last much longer while still keeping his victims alive and subdued." He glanced at the papers again, "It's also why they had heart attacks when no medical history indicated heart problems: Hyperkalemia caused by the Succinylcholine and the massive trauma with nothing to inhibit it."

Lestrade grumbled, "Great. How can this help us?"

Sherlock sighed, "First of all, you cannot just purchase Succinylcholine and Rocuronium at your local drug store. It's used within the medical community and highly monitored. If our killer is purchasing or stealing it, we might be able to track him through that."

Kairi's eyes widened, "I thought you didn't think The Sandman was a doctor?"

Sherlock shook his head, "I don't and that makes him easier to catch. Doctors would easily be able to steal a small amount of those anesthetics without incurring much resistance. However, if our man is not in the medical profession, as I believe, then he would be at higher risk of getting caught, it'd be more difficult for him to acquire. So he's either stealing it or purchasing it illegally."

Lestrade nodded, "Right, so check with local hospitals to see if there's been any reports of stolen anesthetic?"

Sherlock nodded adding snappishly, "Paralytic to be more precise." Lestrade rolled his eyes. "And I can probably ask a few of my homeless network about medical supply trade on the streets. I doubt most people desire to get high by being paralyzed, however, I've been witness to stranger things."

Kairi shrugged, "So he injects them with this paralytic and that keeps them subdued while he works on them." She looked at the files and her eyes began watering, "But they're conscious aren't they? They can still feel everything?" She swallowed heavily, looking up at Sherlock who dropped his smile instantly. She still saw it and it still stung slightly. She had to remember, they were cases and only cases to him.

He nodded clearing his throat, "Unfortunately, yes."

Molly let out a ragged sigh, "My God, that's horrible."

Sherlock chuckled and then went defensive upon the looks he received from his colleagues, "Yes, it's  _horrible_  but it could also lead us to catching him which at this point is more  _important_  than being weepy over two already dead people."

Kairi shuddered, "Oh Sherlock." She gave him a cold stare and he looked at her as if he just pointed out the sky is blue and she contested it. "I know, you're doing the right thing. Being sad for them won't help us find him, but for some people it drives them to work harder."

He frowned, "How can grief possibly help people?" This simple notion seemed completely antithetical to his own experience.

She gave him a sad smile, "Fight or flight Sherlock. Sometimes fear and pain makes people do things they wouldn't normally do."

Sherlock thought on this for a moment, looking at Kairi: a genuinely loving and caring person that had first hand experience with pain and fear influencing her behavior. He nodded to her, swallowing heavily, remembering just how hopeless he had felt in the face of it all. He shook his head, dispelling the emotions for another time — or possibly never. She gave him a small smile and nodded back.

Molly cleared her throat, "So, we have the  _hows_  all squared away." She glanced between Sherlock and Lestrade who both seemed thoughtful, "Now the  _why_."

Kairi nodded, "Right. The why is different though isn't it?"

Sherlock nodded, sitting himself next to Kairi who was still leaning on the table, "Yes, his  _modus operandi_ is quite fascinating. Varying age aside from  _older_ , varying sex, varying jobs, but almost identical methods of murder." He frowned, glancing to Kairi who also seemed thoughtful.

"And there's absolutely no connection between the two?" Kairi said to Lestrade.

"Glad I'm still getting included." He spat and then looked at Kairi who was frowning. He shook his head, sighing heavily, "Nope, nothing we could find. They didn't even work in the same area or had interactions. Barnes' jurisdiction wasn't close to Shoehill's hospital and they pretty much lived, worked, and grew up in London, but it's a big place. A lot of people remain unconnected. Sherlock didn't find anything either."

Sherlock shot him a dark scowl but then returned to his thoughts, "Yes well, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." Sherlock mumbled more so to himself than anyone else. "There has to be  _something_  that connects them."

"Right, well, that  _something_  isn't apparent yet," Lestrade chuckled and added sarcastically, "even to your ever shinning brilliance, so for now, all we have is random coincidence."

Sherlock chuckled ruefully turning back to Lestrade, "Only the lazy believe in coincidences."

Lestrade went to reply scathingly but Kairi shouted, "ENOUGH!"

Both men blanched at her tone and looked at her, appearing accosted by her outburst.

Kairi rolled her eyes and placed her hand on Sherlock's arm once she noticed Lestrade visibly bristle, "We aren't going to do this." She gave both Lestrade and Sherlock a firm look, "You two are going to be amicable and mature adults." She pointed a Sherlock while looking at Lestrade, "He's going to insult you because he can be a massive dickhead. He's no less brilliant now than he was before, simply because he's back and we are together and emotions are involved." Sherlock grimaced and Lestrade bit his lip and sighed heavily, looking less riled.

She focused her glare at Sherlock who dared look smug for a moment and pointed to Lestrade, "He's going to be the same detective inspector he always was and will ask for your help when he's desperate. He is still just as loyal and dependable and smart in his own right. There are a lot of cases he solves quite effectively without you." Sherlock pouted, if only for a second.

She glared back and forth between them, "I am not some  _thing_  you get to trot out to get a rise out of each other and get pissed over. I'm a human being who has made certain decisions that both of you have agreed to be somewhat accepting of." She glared between them and both men visibly, if slightly, cowered before her, "Now, there is a murderer on the loose and London needs its best Inspector and its best Detective to solve the god damn crime. If you're  _quite_  done with your dick measuring contest, I think it'd be best if we started actually investigating!"

Both men stiffened, pride obviously a bit wounded now that Kairi shut them both down for their immature behavior. Molly had a hand over her mouth and a positively delighted gleam in her eyes.

Lestrade sighed heavily, glancing at Sherlock to see if he'd go first, "Sorry love."

Sherlock's head shot to glare at Lestrade but Kairi slapped his shoulder gently. When he turned to look at her, obviously upset, she was giving him a pleading look, "Yes well, I guess we should start our prospective investigations."

Kairi sighed as well, "You'll need to cooperate."

He frowned at her, "I'm always cooperative."

She gave him a humored sort of grin and rolled her eyes, "Yes, right."

They all chuckled a bit at the obvious lie and then heaved out a collective breath. No one was going to be body slamming or head butting anyone in the near future — not as long as Kairi could help it. She was painfully aware of the strain caused by the situation. It resonated deep within her chest and made her skin overly sensitive. A tickling sense of panic crept up her spine as she thought about hurting Lestrade or Sherlock. She cared them both in very distinct ways and she didn't want to hurt either of them. They both had special meaning in her life and were important in different ways. She had taken advantage of their compassion for her and the guilt registered deep within her gut.

"Come along then," Sherlock smiled to Kairi, knocking her out of her thoughts, "We must discuss medical supply trade with my homeless network."

Kairi nodded and turned back to Molly, "We've got your engagement party in two weeks, do you want to go shopping for it?"

Molly heaved out a tense breath, from the altercation or the wedding stress Kairi wasn't so sure, "Yes, please."

Kairi smiled, "Good. We've got some more dress things to look at. Do you want to come back over later?"

Molly sighed, "Oh I've got dinner with John planned. First night we've both been off at relatively the same times."

Kairi chuckled and leaned in to hug Molly, "Right, well if you want, I'd be happy to make us all dinner."

Molly smiled and squeezed her back, "I'll check with John and see if he's interested. I'll text you later."

Kairi nodded and then walked her way over to Lestrade who was rubbing the bridge of his nose, no doubt fighting a monumental head ache. She glanced back at Sherlock who looked absolutely tense and she sighed, turning back to Lestrade and reaching out slowly to grab his hand, "You should get some acetaminophen for your head aches."

He chuckled and looked into Kairi's eyes and sighed with a sort of bitter humor, "You've been here long enough, we call it paracetamol here, you stupid Yank."

She chuckled at him, "I'm sorry about all of this. We really need to get together to talk, okay?"

Lestrade nodded. He reached out slowly to put his hand on Kairi's cheek but noticed Sherlock shift ever so slightly in the background. He went to drop his hand and Kairi huffed out a frustrated sigh and lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his midsection which was quite sore. But as he wrapped his arms around her small frame, cocooning herself against his chest he just chuckled lightly and held her close, feeling the pain and frustration ebb. "Right, just let me know when you've got time."

She squeezed him again gently and stepped back, smiling brightly, "I will."

Lestrade reached out and patted her cheek and Kairi smiled, turning back to look at Sherlock who was stiff and staring down at his phone — his usual tactic for pretending he wasn't paying attention. At least he had the decency to do that instead of glare at her and Lestrade. She walked up to him and reached out to place a hand on his arm. He dropped his glare to her, raising an eyebrow and seeming stoic and cold. She gave him a tiny smile and he sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly as he pocketed his phone and reached out his hand to her. She smiled and gripped his large hand in hers before grabbing their coats and making their way out of St. Bart's to find a cab back to Baker Street.

Once in the cab, Kairi leaned into Sherlock's shoulder and he felt himself go slightly warm at her presence. He was having difficulty quashing the jealousy brewing in his gut. He knew that he had a small right to feel the way he did and Kairi did not begrudge him that, but she had been clear about behaving in a proper way. His animosity and rage would have to be quieted. He supposed that perhaps with time and a few cigarettes they would find forgiveness again. He would forgive her decision made in desperation, he would forgive Lestrade for caring too much as long as it did not infringe upon Sherlock's relationship with Kairi, and Kairi, as always, would be forgiving of Sherlock's temperament. He glanced down at her, curling into his side and smiling as she glanced out the window. He wanted to kiss her again. It seemed like it had been far too long since he'd felt her lips on his.

He cleared his throat, "Kairi, may I kiss you?"

Kairi looked up at him, her eyes clear and happy, "Yes of course. You don't always have to ask." She smiled and he bent down to kiss her but she began talking again, "Oh, but don't just like attack me out of nowhere. I might hit you. Probably it'd be best to give me some indication, maybe just look at me tenderly or put a hand to my cheek. Just make sure I see you, if you throw me against a wall or something I might react instinctively and kick you in the nuts and I don't want to hurt your nuts, I just -,"

"Kairi." Sherlock interrupted firmly and she shook herself from her diatribe and looked back up at him.

"Hm?" She smiled as if she'd been saying something particularly enlightening.

"Do shut up and let me kiss you." He chuckled as he reached a hand up to cup her cheek.

She rolled her eyes, pretending to be bothered, "Oh, all right." She smiled wide as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.

The warmth, the taste, the feeling of skin on skin was so invigorating, absolutely enthralling. They ended up in a heated embrace, mouths equally exuberant in their attempts to fortify their relationship through physical expression. It wasn't until Kairi let out a most aggressive moan that the cabbie cleared his throat heavily and they decided to disengage. They adjusted in their seats, Kairi looking sheepish and Sherlock looking positively murderous as he glared at the back of the taxi driver's head.

"So, homeless network?" Kairi intoned, clearing her throat and trying to seem like they didn't just dance upon the edge of inappropriate behavior.

Sherlock nodded, "Yes, it's a group of vagrants who I pay to keep me well informed of activity within London. There's only so much the news, the police, and the common witness actually observe. The homeless come and go as they please and are pointedly ignored by the general populace. They can be anywhere and hear anything. They are societal rejects in almost all cases, however, they've proven highly useful and some of them are very intelligent."

Kairi looked impressed, "Well there's only a few letters difference between Holmes and homeless, so it's no surprise that there's some brilliance out there." She gave him a tight smile and he rolled his eyes and sighed heavily at her intolerable sense of humor. She just chuckled, watching him so thoroughly finished with speaking to her, but she pushed on, "An interesting set of people you've probably got assembled. Regular irregulars." She glanced at Sherlock and smiled wide, "I like that, Sherlock's Baker Street Irregulars. You should make t-shirts!"

He gave her a disgusted sort of look, "That would surely defeat the purpose of their anonymity."

Kairi just chuckled and leaned into Sherlock, sighing heavily, "Oh I missed you, you big curmudgeon." He scoffed at that, but then leaned into her touch, reaching out a hand to place on her leg with a small smile gracing his lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Ok so I love this chapter... I love it so much. I'm really proud of it...How proud? Soooo many.
> 
> This is starting to delve back into some normalcy, back into the thrill of the case which is definitely important for Sherlock's development. I am REALLY sorry that John hasn't been around very much, but he will be. I promise, he's suuuuuuuuper special to me as a fictional human being so I want you to know the rest of the story, though focused on the case and Kairi/Sherlock's relationship, it will have a bit more balance of side characters - especially to the tune of John and Molly's wedding.
> 
> Please let me know what you think :D
> 
> Anyway, you glorious bastards decided to go ahead and review my story so many times that GUESS WHAT!?
> 
> *Chorus of angels singing* SMUTLOCK TIME BITCHES...I'll go through my diatribe in the actual chapter. I essentially just used Kairi as a character place holder... But it is different and it doesn't have anything to do with this story at all... I just wanted to use their bodies in order to write some fun dom/sub smut. If it is not your thing then don't read it, or read it and see if it maybe is your thing, but definitely, please DO NOT say anything remotely negative about dom/sub relationships. Like I said, I have a big diatribe about it in the actual chapter. Its on my profile as its own individual story, I was originally going to put it into SSoI but... well, it really has nothing to do with Sherlock and Kairi's story as I was just using them as place holders...Either way... Its titled Smutlock: Safe, Sane, Consensual :D
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and the set up for further Sandman goodness. Think of Smutlock as a little special parting gift since it'll still be a few more chapters until we get to some good old fashion loving. I promise, it'll happen. OOOOOOOOH it'll happen. :D Love you all!


	11. Chapter 11

"So you're sure six months is long enough to send out the save the dates? What if people need to travel? Hotel accommodations? What about getting time off work?" Molly fluttered about her and John's flat while Kairi patiently stuffed envelopes.

"Molly, if they can't reserve time six months in advance then maybe they shouldn't be attending the wedding at all!" Kairi chuckled, "Six months is what the wedding etiquette said, right? I think it's ample time for people to prepare."

Molly sat nervously, gulping down some wine as she glanced at the scattered papers and envelopes, "God, it feels like it's all a rush! We haven't even got dresses and tuxes yet!"

Kairi rolled her eyes with an endearing smile, "Yes, but that will be remedied soon enough. It's all planned for this afternoon! We'll be meeting up with John, Lestrade, Sherlock, and Janine to try on things and make sure they look nice together. Really Molly, just drink more wine, maybe take a nap!"

"I think I'm having enough wine." Molly looked frantically at her friend, "I haven't even found a wedding dress and it's in six months. I'm horrible at this!"

Kairi stuffed one last envelope and sealed it. She stood slowly and walked over to Molly who seemed to be quaking with stress. Kairi sat down and wrapped an arm around her and held her close, "Molly, this is wedding planning. It's always a mess or something! You're doing wonderfully and all that matters is that in the end you and John are there, booze and food is provided, and there will be dancing." She leaned in and kissed Molly on the cheek soundly and Molly put her face into her hands and began to cry. Kairi sighed and ran fingers through the pathologist's silky hair, "Everything will work out perfectly and it will be a day to remember. You'll be the most gorgeous bride and John will be your dashing groom!"

Molly looked up at her with red rimmed eyes, "How is it that I can dissect a corpse, but I can't handle flower arrangements?"

Kairi chuckled, "Well you're on your own there! I am shit at designing things unless it comes in HTML." Molly's lip began to tremble again, "We should look it up on the internet, there are loads of blogs about beautiful wedding planning ideas." She smoothed down Molly's hair again, "We'll be doing your wedding your way. Not your mother's way, not the way you  _think_  a wedding has to be done, but the way you  _want_  it done."

Molly nodded slowly and exhaled heavily, "Right." She shook her head a bit frantically and glanced back up at Kairi, "What would I do without you?"

Kairi smiled and leaned in to hug Molly tighter, "Shake so fretfully your atoms would disassociate and you'd vaporize into the universe?"

Molly snorted and hugged Kairi back, "Probably."

"Well, let's finish getting all this sorted. What is John up to right now?" Kairi smiled as she stood and walked back over to the envelopes to begin stuffing again.

Molly moved to the floor next to Kairi and helped, "Over at Baker Street actually," Molly yawned, "He's officially asking Sherlock to be his best man."

Kairi chuckled, "Oh, I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that."

Molly smiled, "Yes, I know. I would too, but it also makes me nervous as all hell." Her eyes suddenly went wide and she went a little pale, her hands frozen in time and space as she stared out at nothing.

Kairi frowned, watching her friend clutch the papers in her shaking fingers, she reached out and took the notes and placed them on the table, turning fully to face Molly who was still frozen and looking like she just saw a ghost, "What is it? Are you having a stroke?"

Molly finally exhaled and turned to Kairi, "Oh God, Sherlock's his best man."

Kairi gave her a confused look, "Yes, well that usually is the role of the best friend isn't it?"

Molly nodded slowly, gulping, looking like she was going to be sick, "That means there will be a speech."

Kairi's eyes went wide in response and Molly stared at her, worrying a lip beneath a rosy nose. "Oh shit." Kairi let out in a whisper and looked back at Molly. She tried dispel the nervousness in her gut and she just shrugged, trying on a smile, "It'll be fine!" She placated Molly a little desperately, "You know how he loves to hear himself speak. I'm sure it'll be, uh, beautiful." Kairi couldn't help the grimace.

Molly's eyes somehow went wider, "What if he brings up how I used to be obsessed with him? What if he talks about all the places John and I have shagged in Baker Street? What if he talks about the riding crop incident?"

Kairi bit her lip, exhaling heavily, "I'm sure he wouldn't bring that up. I mean, it'd embarrass him just as much as it would embarrass you and John!"

Molly looked at her again with terror in her eyes, "Shit! This is a disaster! We should elope!"

Kairi huffed out a breath, sending her bangs in a wild dance as the torrent gust upwards, "Now look, it will be fine! I'll help him write a speech! Will that work? I'll proof-read it and make sure that he's decent, all right?"

Molly shook her head, "Sherlock doesn't like being told what to do."

Kairi chuckled and grabbed at both of their wine glasses and handed one off to Molly, "No he doesn't, but he also hates the idea of hurting John in any way. They love each other so much it's sick." She smiled wide at Molly whose eyes were glistening, "He cares for the both of you and he's not good with sentiment, but he also wouldn't want to hurt you either."

Molly nodded slowly, her eyes going blank again as more treacherous thoughts began to pour through her addled mind. She sucked in a deep, shocked breath and on the exhale she looked at Kairi, "Dear God, the telegrams!"

Kairi took a sip and looked inquisitive, "What are telegrams?"

Molly took another gulp of wine and ran nervous fingers through her auburn locks, "It's like an RSVP, the people who can't attend send a little note to the bride and groom. Sherlock will have to read them out loud." She gulped down air and sounded a little petrified, "In front of  _everyone_."

Kairi nodded placing a hand on her leg, "Well, how about we eschew tradition and I'll read them before my speech instead?"

Molly sighed, tears threatening to spill over again, "Oh God, that'd be wonderful."

"See?" Kairi nudged her and Molly smiled, "All will be well, I swear."

Molly nodded and placed her wine down before reaching for more envelopes. "Right. Well, hopefully we can find dresses this afternoon. I can't decide if I want you both to wear the same dress or something different in the same color scheme."

Kairi chuckled and began again with her Save the Dates, "Don't worry, I'll wear a burlap sack if that's what you want. I don't care at all. It's your day!"

Molly chuckled, "Hopefully Janine will be as effortless. She can be tiresome."

Kairi smiled, "I'll have a talk with her if she decides to be difficult." Molly snorted at that, "Or worse, I'll let Sherlock loose on her."

Molly laughed, "Oh God, no I love her. I want her to still be my friend after all this!"

"Ha! Yeah, letting Sherlock loose is a guaranteed way to alienate people." Kairi scoffed, "If you need to thin out your guest list, I'm sure we could send him on a tour to people you don't really like."

Molly guffawed, "Oh please! I'd love to see him go up against my aunt Frida. God, she can be downright nasty!"

"Well, will she be coming to the engagement party? I'm sure I could arrange a covert meeting to put her in her place." Kairi said as she closed up an envelope.

"Perhaps, but hopefully not. I think it's mostly just close family and friends. We didn't really send out invites, it's just a fun little gathering." Molly smiled, "I'm very excited for it."

"Me too!" Kairi replied, "It'll be fun to have dinner and talk to people. I'm looking forward to meeting more of your family. Your mom is lovely, but I haven't met your brothers or other cousins aside from Janine."

Molly coughed, "Oh, please beware of Thomas - he's the ginger I was telling you about! He's, oh, he can be really lecherous if he fancies someone."

Kairi gave Molly a reassuring smile, "I'll hide a cattle prod in my purse."

Molly chuckled, "If all else fails, you could let Sherlock loose on him."

Kairi nudged Molly, "I thought we were trying to keep Sherlock from maiming people."

Molly scrunched her nose, "Thomas can be a  _real_  prick."

Kairi laughed loudly at that and leaned into her friend who was finally smiling again, no sign of tears in sight, "Well good, me and Sherlock can be bouncers, I'll hold tight to my cattle prod and we can get Sherlock another riding crop."

Molly sighed heavily, "Oh damn, I know. We never did replace it."

Kairi shuddered slightly, "He's probably fine without it. He is a resilient man, I'm sure he's managed."

Molly just chuckled and poured her and Kairi some more wine, "We should probably eat before going dress shopping. Don't want to show up all blotto and giggly."

Kairi sipped her wine, "I think reduced inhibitions would be perfect for dress searching." She thought for a moment, "Maybe we should get John and Sherlock drunk too, see if we can get them into pink tuxes! Just to try on!" Molly laughed heartily at that and Kairi winked, wondering just how she'd be able to make it happen to bring a little less stress to her dear friend's day.

—-

John climbed the stairs of 221 Baker Street, memories flowing through him as he breathed in the musty smell of chemicals and books. Each of his steps were in tune with the violin music playing at the top of the stairs. He was nervous at the moment, knowing that he'd be asking Sherlock to be his best man. Despite the fact that Sherlock was his closest friend, he knew how particular the man could be. He was thoroughly slated into being stoic and impersonal. He didn't do it very well with those he was closest to, but if he felt threatened by an emotional overload, he would shut off almost completely and become a real ass.

It was no surprise that they were best friends. It wasn't something that was mentioned frequently, if ever. John wasn't good at discussing emotions, it was difficult to express things and project words onto feelings he barely understood. He'd lived a stunted emotional life, with a closed off family which later ended in estranged, jilted relationships until his parents passed away and his sister moved across the country to escape his judgement. He sighed heavily, thanking God for the fact that he had met Sherlock when he did, then when Molly came into his life and he found that a relationship with her was effortless and comfortable, he was utterly pleased. He was excited to approach this new era of life, with the two people he loved the most at his side.

He was even eager to see how Kairi would change the future of Sherlock Holmes. John expected to spend the rest of his life as the confirmed bachelor running about town with the boffin detective. That life didn't really seem all that bad, but when he first met Molly he was always amused by her shy smiles and her intelligence. He was never hurt by her affection for Sherlock - it was extremely difficult not to be fascinated by the bastard. Eventually, if you spent enough time with him, just about everyone fell in love with Sherlock Holmes.

He chuckled to himself as he rapped on the door and entered, watching Sherlock turn as he played the violin and saw John. His eyes lit up and John felt so happy to just be seeing him again. The last year had been boring without Sherlock Holmes in his life. Though he couldn't devote all of his time to solving crimes anymore, his adventures with Sherlock would never really be over.

"Ah, John, pleasant to see you." Sherlock muttered as he placed his violin in its spot, "Tea?" He questioned, not really waiting for an answer as he strode into the kitchen and began preparing it.

"Yes, I'd love some." John chuckled as he followed Sherlock and sat at the table which was surprisingly clean and uncluttered. He glanced around for a moment, unsure of where he was actually sitting. "What's this then? No experiments? You've been back for almost a week now." He chuckled.

Sherlock turned with a tight grin, "Yes, well, it's been a busy few days with the case and all."

John gave him a snarky sort of look, "Not to mention beating the hell out your girlfriend's previous romantic entanglement."

Sherlock frowned heavily, "Yes, well, I'd hardly consider him that." He glanced at John who grinned, "Lestrade shouldn't have slept with her if he didn't want me to be upset about it."

John blanched, "What?"

Sherlock glanced at his friend, "Isn't it obvious? Kairi and Lestrade had sex while I was away."

John shook his head and took a deep breath, "Jesus! Are you having me on?"

Sherlock scoffed, a pang of anger still rising at the mention of the event, but he eventually quashed it, trying to seem flippant, there had been many somewhat heartfelt discussions in the last few days between him and Kairi. "Please John, all the evidence was there."

John put up a hand to stop him, "Right, I just didn't observe it." He looked at Sherlock who seemed amused, "So you and Kairi, you are, uh, talking about it all I'm guessing?"

Sherlock nodded, "Yes, there was a significant amount of information that needed to be exchanged." He sighed and glanced at his friend, "It has been a long year."

John nodded and cleared his throat, "Yeah, I can see that now." He looked at the table, scratching at the patch of wood that had a relatively deep slice running through it, "So, uh, are you all right then?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" Sherlock looked at him oddly as the water began to boil.

John scoffed, "You almost threw a man through the floor over him sleeping with your  _girlfriend._  It seems a bit excessive."

Sherlock shifted, looking uncomfortable, "Yes, well, that's apparent  _now_."

John just chuckled, "Right." He looked at Sherlock, laughing to himself that the man was not only capable of complex emotion, but almost adept at it. He loved Kairi, he felt jealousy, he understood the meaning of monogamy. It was all astounding and completely the opposite of what John expected from him. "So we've got an appointment this afternoon."

Sherlock busy with the tea only replied over his shoulder as he gathered the items necessary for John and his own tastes, "What for? A case?"

John chuckled, "No, you clot. Tux fittings."

Sherlock turned with tea-tray in hand and walked over to the table to set things down, "Why would I need to be fitted for a tuxedo?"

John stared at him, completely flabbergasted, "For the wedding, of course."

Sherlock sat and began pouring tea into a cup for John, "I'll just wear one of my suits. That should be adequate."

John scoffed, looking affronted, "No it wont. The best man can't just wear a regular suit."

The silence stretched for a moment as John stared at Sherlock who's eyes were now wide, staring down at the tea-cup that he was filling, but not actually seeing it. John took in the blank look in Sherlock's eyes and then he glanced at the tea-cup which was rapidly approaching its fill limit.

"Sherlock?" John muttered and he watched as Sherlock's hands shook ever so slightly, vibrating the tea-pot just enough so that the stream of umber colored liquid went a little jagged and spilled some of the contents over the edge.

Sherlock remained silent. The tea kept pouring.

"Sherlock." John insisted as the detective remained stone faced, hands quaking gently as the tea rose in the cup and eventually spilled up over the edge and began filling the saucer it sat atop.

"Sherlock!" John shouted and reached for the tea-pot in the detective's hand.

Sherlock finally jolted back to reality, glancing at John who ripped the pot away from him. Sherlock looked down at his cup and saucer, overflowing with tea, "Oh." He cleared his throat and grabbed the offending display and slowly took it to the sink to empty out the saucer, pour out a bit of tea, and make it more presentable. He turned slowly and walked back over to the table, refusing to look at John as his chest filled with an unfamiliar warmth and his mind positively vibrated with thoughts he couldn't quite comprehend.

"Sherlock." John insisted as he poured himself some tea, "You'll need to have a tux. I know how much you hate ties since the incident with the Russian, but the fact is, we'll be dressing to impress." He chuckled and looked up at his friend who was standing just behind his seat, the tea in his hands remaining untouched by his lips or his usual sugar and cream. "I'll be wearing one — it's a wedding, it's customary." He cleared his throat, waiting for a response, "Please, for Molly? For me?"

Sherlock was still silent, now staring down at the table. He cleared his throat and looked at John who was smiling at him, "For you?" He said softly and John nodded, looking a bit confused.

John laughed, "Well think about it, ladies love a man in a tux. James Bond and all that!"

Sherlock was still rigid. He placed his cup down and sat, placing his hands in his lap.

John, recognizing the deep thought that Sherlock was almost completely submerged in, reached out for Sherlock's cup and began to fix his tea. When he sorted it all out, adding two spoons of sugar and some milk, he placed it back in front of the unseeing detective who automatically reached out and took a slow sip, as was habit. John just chuckled and Sherlock swallowed, placing the tea back on the table and exhaling a tight breath.

"So, what you are saying is that, you want me—," Sherlock gulped heavily and glanced at John who looked expectant, "you want  _me_  as your best man?"

John sat back and exhaled, looking at Sherlock incredulously, "Of course. Of course I want you as my best man, Sherlock."

Sherlock let out a tight breath and reached for his cup again, clattering it a bit on the saucer while his hands shook. He placed his hands on the table and glanced at John, "Are you  _sure_?"

John let out a huge laugh at that, staring at Sherlock with wonder, " _Yes_  I'm sure! You're my best friend."

Sherlock stared at him then, inspecting his blogger closely. He tried to detect micro expressions indicating a lie, no twitching mouth, indicators of distress, or lines in the forehead. He watched John's body language, seeing his relaxed pose, his hand on his tea cup, perfectly calm and still. He looked back up into John's eyes, which seemed happy, if a little amused. Sherlock cleared his throat, "Oh."

John chuckled, " _Oh?_  Is that it? A yes, maybe?"

Sherlock looked at John now, almost appalled, "Yes, of course, I'll be your best man."

John smiled wide, "Good. I'm glad that's settled. I need my best mate with me up there."

Sherlock nodded, "Yes, yes, of course. That seems like a very important, if stressful time. One would assume you'd wanted be surrounded by people of worth."

John laughed, "It's not just that Sherlock. It's the biggest day of my life. I'm marrying the woman I love and I want the other most important person in my life to be present as well. You'll be a part of this marriage — whether Molly and I like it or not."

Sherlock gave a small smile and reached for his cup, taking a small sip, "I promise, I will try and keep to myself unless there's a case."

John nodded, "Right. You've got someone else to bother now for tea and food. She'd probably be more effective in persuading you to eat as well."

Sherlock blushed slightly, "You mean Kairi."

John nodded, "Yes, well obviously. Mrs. Hudson dotes on you, but you've had to be noticing her backing off since you and Kairi got together."

Sherlock frowned, "No. No, I didn't notice that."

"Some detective you are," John scoffed, "Kairi makes you coffee and gets you to eat. She keeps her kitchen well stocked with things you like. She even did it when you were gone, always prepared for if you returned."

Sherlock glanced at him, "She did?"

John smiled wide, "Yeah, she did."

Sherlock tried to hide his smile behind his tea-cup as he sipped, "Oh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little fluff chapter. Insight into the relationships our characters have with one another. I really do love Molly and John - I feel like there really isnt a way to make Sherlock and John better than they already are. Molly is fierce, even if people like to pretend she isnt - she's fucking fierce and I love her. I think you all know I have something unhealthy towards Lestrade ;D. Much will be happening. Hopefully a bit more fun and a bit more case madness. We do have a wedding to prepare for! More to come next week and that chapter is fun to write - we've got tux fittings to attend! But what would a Sherlock story be without a case?
> 
> I'm thinking that I may be able to hash this out in about 20 or so chapters. I promise a fleshy reunion will be happening soon. Sorry to bore you all with science - but thats why I wrote the smutlock ;D. I have main plot points planned, but pleeeeeeeeeeeease dont think you cant make requests! If there is something you feel like you MUST see then tell me! If it cant it in directly to this story it will probably work for a one shot.
> 
> Thank you again for reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have them :D


	12. Chapter 12

"I'm glad we stopped for food, I was feeling a bit bladdered when we left." Molly smiled at Kairi who had a blush on her cheeks.

"Me too." Kairi chuckled, "I don't want to throw up on a dress I have yet to buy."

Molly snickered as they walked through the doors of the bridal shop, "Oh, that would be horrible, wouldn't it?"

Kairi giggled as well, tugging Molly to the concierge, "Shh, we can't get in trouble, we haven't even started yet."

Molly smiled as they approached the front desk and began speaking with the lady there. They checked in for their reservation a little early, but the consultant just asked them to wait a few minutes while she prepared their dressing rooms. Since Molly and John would both be using the same shop for their dresses and tuxedos, the consultants were eager to please. Both being professionals and having young professionals in the wedding party could very well lead to a decent commission.

Also, since they hadn't been living under a rock, a few of them knew of the prodigious John Watson and his relationship to Sherlock Holmes. If they were lucky and the famed duo were pleased with their treatment, they might even get mentioned when the wedding of John Watson to his female fiancé was eventually covered in the papers.

When someone first leaked it to the press that John Watson would be getting married, there was a flurry of gossip about Sherlock's whereabouts and if the famed "couple" had split, leaving Sherlock heart-broken and dismayed by John's sudden devotion to a woman. It had been an absolute nightmare that Mycroft had dealt with swiftly in Sherlock's absence. Kairi couldn't help but be a bit amused mentioning it now and then and seeing John go positively murderous.

Soon after the consultant left, Janine walked in, all smiles and excited squeals upon seeing her lovely soon-to-be-married cousin. Molly erupted excitedly as well and went over to pull her cousin into a huge hug, full of chatter from the British pathologist and the Irish PA. Kairi just chuckled and followed suit. When Janine saw her, she smiled wide and pulled the pale brunette into the hug and they all sort of giggled.

"I am so damn excited for this." Janine piped up and pulled away from Molly and Kairi, her wide smile inciting a similar reaction. "You've got to make me look good for all John's old army buddies, eh?" She winked. "Did they offer champagne? This place is fancy, they should offer champagne!" She added in a harsh whisper.

"They are prepping our rooms, I'm sure they'll add some little snacks and some bubbly." Kairi smiled, "Especially since I requested it and implied that Sherlock Holmes and John Watson would be thoroughly disappointed without it." She chuckled mischievously, "You know with all their connections to law enforcement and the British government."

Molly dropped her face into her hands, "Oh, you didn't."

Janine chuckled and cuffed Kairi on the shoulder, "I knew I liked her."

Kairi just beamed mischievously in response.

The consultant came back out and ushered the ladies back into their dressing area. It was a wide expanse, the dressing rooms laid out at the back, with seating and a small tea-table in the center, covered in goodies, some water, and champagne and orange juice for mimosas. The girls giggled and Molly blushed wildly, not often used to being treated with such pomp.

"We've got a few minutes until the boys arrive and they wont get pulled back until I give the okay." Kairi smiled, "So lets get a-huntin for wedding dress styles. We can ask them to hold anything you like."

"What do you think Molly, you want traditional? Taffeta? Sequins?" Janine smiled wide as she sat down and opened up the champagne. Molly blanched and Kairi recognized the wedding panic in her eyes, "I'll get the yummies ready and Kairi, you go help her. Molly hates my fashion sense."

Molly blushed, replying indignantly, "I do not!"

Janine just grinned, "Don't lie! I'd have you in a skin-tight satin dress with a diamond encrusted bodice to enhance your tits, my love. You'd hate it and you know it."

Molly gave her a cross look, "Well, yes because I've got no tits to speak of and I'd look hideous."

Janine just winked and tutted her playfully, "You've got great breasts Molly, I'm sure John likes them." Molly blushed wildly and Kairi was holding in her laughter, "It's fine dear. I'll save it for me own wedding day." She muttered in an exaggerated accent. She popped the cork off of the champagne with a flourish and chuckled, "You and Kairi are better suited for it, I'm not hurt."

Kairi smiled at Janine, "Thanks, we'll need your eye for bridesmaid dresses though. I might lean more towards sparkly things than Molly and I wouldn't be averse to showing off the girls a bit."

Janine chuckled again and poured out some champagne into flutes, "Right-o!"

Kairi smiled wide and grabbed Molly's hand and pulled her out into the area where all the gowns were hung up. There were a few mannequins here and there and Kairi walked with Molly hand in hand through the rows and rows of whites.

"God, I didn't realize there were so many shades of white." Molly muttered, feeling a little light-headed as she dragged her fingertips along the gowns all safely hid away in clear plastic bags.

"Eggshell, Diamond White, Ivory, Satin White, Champagne, Matte!" Kairi frowned as she fingered through a few, "What the fuck is  _matte_?" Kairi muttered and glanced back at Molly who looked a bit green, "Well, at least they're all covered in plastic in case you yack on them."

Molly frowned at her friend, "I wont  _yack_  on them. It's just nerve-wracking. This is the most important day of my life."

Kairi walked closer to Molly and took her hands gently, "Yes it is and it will be perfect as long as you just do what you want to do. Don't stress about dresses and flowers and all that. Just try and do what feels good to you. It'll all come together. There's no wrong way to do a wedding!"

Molly leaned in slowly and Kairi did too, resting their foreheads on one another's and smiling. "Thank you." Molly whispered gently.

Kairi chuckled, "You will be a beautiful bride, even if you show up in your lab coat and slacks."

"And John in a jumper?" Molly snickered.

"I'll wear my pajamas." Kairi giggled.

Molly squealed, "Sherlock in a dressing gown!"

"Oh, that would be perfect." Kairi sighed, still pressing her head against Molly's and squeezing her hands tighter, "I'd do a pajama themed wedding. Everyone can wear yoga pants and slippers and we'll all just eat popcorn and watch a movie until it's time for a dance off."

"You would." Molly added and Kairi pretended to bite at her.

"Oh, I never!"

Molly and Kairi turned, foreheads still pressed together for the moment, still hand in hand and saw a middle-aged woman standing at the edge of their isle, staring at them down her long pale nose through some half-rimmed glasses. She had her hand on her chest and looked downright offended. "Have some propriety! I didn't think they allowed  _those_  types in here. This isn't a den of iniquity!"

Molly seemed to coil in on herself, her face blushing wildly and Kairi bristled, "Seriously? Den of iniquity?  _Those_  types!?" Kairi hissed and Molly squeezed her hands. Kairi looked back at Molly who shook her head, almost pleading for a moment, desperate to avoid confrontation. Kairi took a deep breath and went to turn Molly and take them away from the horrible woman with cold judgement in her eyes.

The woman stalked closer, a stiff lipped sneer on her face, "It's absolutely appalling that laws have been passed allowing  _your_  type to be married." She added in a sickly sweet tone, "It's improper."

Kairi figuratively rolled up her sleeves, getting ready to lunge at the old bat. It wasn't a matter of pride, her and Molly weren't in a relationship, but it was a matter of decency. This woman had no right to tell anyone how to act in a store symbolizing the beauty of love and marriage. If it had been anyone else, it could have seriously hurt them on a day that was meant to be absolutely special and perfect. Kairi felt a surge of righteousness bring life to her limbs and she opened her mouth to reply scathingly.

"It is everything but  _that_!" Molly finally shouted, half squeak, half rage surprising both Kairi and herself. She regained her composure and continued, "It's not your right to tell people who to love."

The woman rolled her eyes, giving Molly a disgusted sort of grimace with a curled lip, "Mind your tongue child, I'll not be treated as such."

Kairi scowled, "Oh, but you'll treat others like shit, simply because they don't love who you think they should? That doesn't speak about those you insult, it only speaks about yourself, you crazy old loon!"

Molly sputtered a bit and the woman glared at them, absolutely scandalized, her mouth popping open and closed as she took measured steps backwards. "How dare you!" She snarled.

"No!" Molly replied, "How dare  _you_! This is  _our_  special day and you have the audacity to just come in a spit on it! That's horrible!  _You're_  horrible!" She spat.

The woman shook her head frantically, her hand on her cheek as if Molly had struck her. "It goes against the will of God!"

Kairi smiled wide, lacing her tone with virulent sarcasm, "Well then we'll be having a great time in hell without you!"

Molly added a bit nervously, emboldened by her previous glasses of wine, "Or maybe we'll see you there!" Kairi was chuckling as she watched the old woman absolutely bristle, her hands fisted at her sides and her pink lips falling into a firm line. She looked as if she might charge at them. "So — so just piss off!" Molly squeaked.

Kairi went to add onto Molly's statement a little more colorfully, with a bit more of that American charm so many people despised, but she was distracted when Molly grabbed her face and pulled her in for a kiss. Kairi went still for a second but caught on quickly, wrapping her arms around Molly and turning them sharply so she could dip her dramatically which seemed to rip a scream from the old woman who stumbled back into some dresses and continued to run from the store, shouting about.

"Why is it that when someone runs away screaming, it's always you two?"

Molly and Kairi pulled back from their kiss and looked up to see John, holding back a grin with disapproving hands on his hips. Sherlock was at his side, eyeing Kairi and Molly curiously, his head tilted like a confused puppy.

"And I'd thank you to take your lips off my bride, Kairi." He added with chuckle.

Kairi pulled them both back up to stand and Molly was blushing wildly, "She started it!" Kairi insisted.

"Well, I did." Molly smiled nervously, walking over to John who grinned and pulled her in for a kiss. When Molly pulled back, she was smiling wide, "I'm sorry but that woman was horrible. I was trying to prove a point."

John chuckled again, "By snogging Kairi?" Molly just giggled.

Kairi strode up to Sherlock and grabbed his face, pulling him down to plant a deep kiss on his lips, "Hello stranger."

Sherlock licked his lips tentatively, and stared at Kairi's smile, "You taste like Molly and wine."

John's eyes widened and he looked at Sherlock, "And how do  _you_  know what my fiancé tastes like?"

Sherlock straightened and glared at him, "Because I've tasted her on Kairi before."

Molly and Kairi rolled their eyes almost audibly and John was absolutely floored, "My god! What do you people do when I'm not around? Giant orgies? How do you know what everyone  _tastes_  like? That's so fundamentally strange!" He growled, mostly joking. He poked at Molly who couldn't stop laughing.

Kairi just chuckled, "Don't worry John, we'll invite you next time."

John just rolled his eyes, laughing, "I don't think you could handle me."

Kairi wrinkled her nose at him and chuckled, "Probably not, Soldier." She blew him a kiss and Sherlock scowled at them both.

"And you all say  _I'm_  inappropriate in public." Sherlock sighed and began walking away.

Kairi, John, and Molly all laughed and turned to join him, Molly and Kairi taking the lead to show them back to the dressing area. They followed, chatting about their days. Molly informed John that she and Kairi ended up stuffing almost three-quarters of their total Save the Dates and they should be able to finish them tonight. John was ecstatic as he knew nothing of wedding planning and was a little terrified he might muck something up. Also, it afforded Molly time to hang out with Kairi and do all the things they enjoyed to do together. Living with Molly was wonderful, but it was always nice to get out with a few friends for personal time.

When they got back into the dressing room, Janine stood up, carrying flutes of mimosa over to Molly and John. Kairi wandered over to her purse and pulled out her camera and began taking photos of the happy couple, as well as Janine doling out glasses. Kairi even got an interesting photo of Sherlock eyeing the mimosa with a grimace on his face, as if it couldn't be trusted. She was sure that'd be another one to send to Wanda Holmes in order to embarrass her new-old boyfriend.

The bridal consultant walked in smiling, bringing about two large binders full of photographs of different styles of tuxedos as well as bridesmaid dresses. She talked to Molly and John for a bit, asking their preferences and Kairi strode up to Sherlock who was holding his glass in his hand, but refusing to take a drink.

"Don't like mimosas?" She chuckled and nudged his arm as she sipped her own.

"I've never had one." He muttered and glanced down at her, giving her an appreciative look despite his stony features.

Kairi smirked, "Come now, don't be a stick in the mud. It's for John and Molly! Let loose a bit Mr. Holmes."

He gave her a small chuckle and took a sip, his eyes widening just a fraction when the sweet, bubbly concoction hit his tongue.

Kairi chuckled, "See? It's delicious."

He rose an eyebrow at her, "It's dangerous. Good tasting alcohol is always a bad idea."

"To you maybe." She smiled and then winked, walking back over to Molly and John who were glancing at ideas and discussing.

A moment later, Janine sidled up to Sherlock and grinned, "So the best man, it's a pleasure." She reached out her hand and Sherlock shook it firmly.

"You must be Janine, the cousin." He gave her a tight grin and allowed his eyes to tick over her for a moment, pulling out all the finite little facts that would refine his deduction. A rambunctious, single, PA, older than Molly by a year or two, and happy for, though genuinely jealous of, her younger cousin. Sherlock's grin spread.

"Yup, that's me." She eyed him for a moment, "You are  _quite_  the specimen Mr. Holmes."

Sherlock gave her an odd look, "Pardon?"

She grinned now, "Tall, brilliant, dark hair, luminous eyes, successful, driven — quite the package. Single?"

He scowled at her, "Tell me, how that is any of your business?"

She chuckled, "Well, if you're single and I'm single and we're in the wedding party, I think we could make some time available for one another. It's quite the custom, you know."

He took a minute sidestep away from her, glancing down at Kairi who was smiling with Molly and John as they flipped through pages of the binder, chuckling at some more of audacious dresses and tuxedos available. He cleared his throat and glanced back at Janine, "I consider myself married to my work."

She smiled wide, following his stare over to the group looking through the binders, "Do you?"

He almost wanted to hiss at her, but he refrained, "Yes, I do." He turned himself, facing her, and leveling her with an imposing sort of glare, "I would not debase myself by —,"

"Sherlock? Janine?" Kairi interrupted and he turned to glance at her. She was smiling in a soft way, the way that signified she knew someone was being a particular sort of bother to him and that she'd appreciate his patience and delicacy.

It was infuriating, but pushing past the other woman's impudence, he realized that this was an extremely important day for John and Molly and he would do anything within his power to make it right. He straightened and removed his coat, lying it on a nearby chair. He adjusted his suit and motioned for Janine to go ahead and she gave him a flirtatious wink as she went to sit next to Kairi. He rolled his eyes when she looked away from him and moved over to sit next to John. He glanced at Kairi who was giving him an amused sort of grin that she was desperately trying to hold back and mouthed a  _thank you_. Janine was leaning in and looking at the book, talking to Molly about a specific dress, so Sherlock shot Kairi a wink that made her cheeks flush. He cleared his throat and went to look at the pictures with the rest of the group.

After a few more minutes of debate and another round of mimosas, the consultant brought in another helper and they all started taking measurements.

"Oi! What did I miss? Mimosas!?" Lestrade walked in, smiling wide and tossing his coat onto a chair. Everyone stood to greet him and exchange hugs and handshakes, even Sherlock. He kissed Kairi on the cheek and she returned it in their friendly way and pulled back grinning. They had rekindled their friendship after a long discussion, affirming the fact that they cared greatly for one another, but it was wise to allow some distance for the time being. After their hug, she grabbed his hand and yanked him over to Janine to introduce them. Molly sighed as subtly as she could manage. Janine would gladly eat Lestrade up.

While the boys got themselves set up, Molly and Kairi sat down and dug through the Bridal gown book and Molly put a few tabs on the ones she liked while Janine flirted with Lestrade. Kairi promised to bring Molly back on another day when they could take their time and Molly wouldn't feel as overwhelmed by wedding things as she was today.

One consultant went to pull out the tuxedos that the group liked while the other went to gather up some of the bridesmaid dresses. Janine had been clear, her taste in dresses was definitely a bit more outlandish than Molly or Kairi's style. Though Kairi and Molly couldn't really attest to having a certain style other than comfortable and functional. Janine, with her long legs and rounded curves liked to accentuate her fabulous figure and everyone agreed that she had every right to do so. So Kairi and Janine picked out several dressed they liked individually and a few that they both agreed on all under the notion that Molly would have the last say. Molly was still unsure if she wanted matching bridesmaids or not. She was biting her nails when the consultants all walked back in and started sorting through the suits and dresses and placing them in the dressing rooms.

Kairi poured Molly a hefty mimosa and sat her down to just wait and look through the bridal gowns again on her own. They all went to their respective dressing rooms and started to try things on. Molly busied herself, glancing at different gowns, some made of taffeta, some of silk, some with beaded bodices and long trains. It was all quite overwhelming if she were being honest and all she really wanted was something that was simple, affordable, and made her feel beautiful. She was nervous at that, not always being overly concerned with making herself up, the idea of a day where everyone would be staring right at her and John made her a bit queasy inside. However, the reason of course, the bit of attention, the love that would end up encapsulating the day was enough to give her the little bit of courage. She would gladly be the center of attention on such a meaningful day and maybe, just maybe, not feel guilty about it.

"All right, ready yourself!" Janine was the first to come out. She had on a very tight, satin dress of deep sapphire, which was Molly's chosen color for wedding accents. The blue was vibrant in contrast to Janine's olive toned skin and dark brown hair and the dress hugged her curves almost viciously. It had a sweetheart neckline and the material ruched from top to bottom which just barely covered Janine's. Molly stared at her in amazement, she looked fabulous.

"Killing it, right?" She winked and Molly chuckled.

"I don't know if you can wear it, you'll look better than me!" Molly laughed as Janine twirled.

Janine just chuckled, "No one will be looking at me when they've got you and John to be gobbing about!"

Kairi peaked out and saw Janine and gasped, "Oh my lord, you look astonishing!"

Janine smiled and turned to Kairi, "Oh, now don't be shy, let me see yours!"

"No, I, uh -," Kairi laughed and Janine padded over with graceful steps and grabbed her arm and pulled her out.

Janine gasped, "Oh, your tits look  _great_!" Molly let out a laugh while Kairi blushed furiously.

Lestrade was the first to come out, pulling on the coat of the signature black tux with tails, a cummerbund, and bow tie, and he chuckled, "What's this about tits?" He smiled wide.

Janine gave him a sultry sort of look, "Don't you be getting any ideas about her, I plan to keep you all to myself. You look like Fred Estaire in that get up."

Lestrade gave her an impressed look and gave the signature pose, a slight spin on his heels with his arms extended gracefully, "Well if you think you can handle it." She gave him a wink and he smiled wide.

Kairi just giggled and spun for Molly, she was wearing the same dress as Janine. It hugged her curves in a dangerous fashion and showed a bit too much of her thighs than she was normally accustomed to. It wasn't something she would usually trounce around in, but she had to admit when she looked at herself in the mirror before stepping out, she felt quite sexy.

"I do like it." Molly smiled wide, "You'll both look like princesses."

Kairi returned her smile and laughed, "What kind of princesses do they have in England?" The group shared some disjointed laughter as Kairi tugged at the hem of her dress.

"Right, feast your eyes ladies and try to contain yourselves." John muttered before opening the door and walking out to whistles and cat calls. He was wearing a tux that matched Lestrade's, except his cummerbund and tie were white. He sauntered over to Molly who was grinning foolishly and he stopped in front of her, opening his arms and doing a spin. "Do you like it?"

Molly began tearing up, "I think you look so very dashing."

He smiled and reached out his hand and she took it, standing to move closer to him, brushing her hands along the soft fabric spanning his chest. "I think I'll pale in comparison to the lovely bride."

She giggled slightly and they went off in their own little world while discussing aspects of John's suit that they liked and disliked. Lestrade and Janine were chuckling and joking about as they sipped on some mimosas, careful not to spill. Kairi was enthralled, the wedding party together at last, but when she looked over to Sherlock's dressing room she realized he hadn't even come out. She waddled over and knocked on the door but got no response.

"Sherlock, you all right?" She knocked again and only received an annoyed huff in response. She chuckled and leaned in, using a stage whisper to communicate, "If you're stuck or need bigger pants let me know, I'll tell the consultant." She chuckled to herself momentarily, glancing back at the happy couple to be who were flipping through a few more pages now.

While she wasn't paying attention, the door opened and Sherlock reached out and gripped her wrist, yanking her inside the dressing room with a yelp. He pinned her against the wall for a moment, looking extremely frustrated.

"What's wrong?" Kairi asked, genuinely concerned.

"What is  _this_?" He held up the cummerbund, "A  _cumberbund_? What a stupid sounding word!"

Kairi smiled, "It's  _cummer_ bund. And maybe it wouldn't sound so stupid if you pronounced it properly."

He sniffed, "It doesn't matter how it's pronounced, it still sounds stupid."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Perhaps to the unrefined." He scoffed in response.

"I hate ties, especially bow ties." He growled and stepped back, turning to face the mirror as he fiddled with the damn thing around his neck.

Kairi chuckled and took him in for a moment. He was wearing the same suit as John and Lestrade, but he made it look so damn regal. The lines of the suit accentuated his broad shoulders and trim hips, framing his body in that perfectly masculine way. It hugged him nicely, fitting like a second, illustrious skin and laying perfectly along the contours of his frame. The white shirt was crisp, with shiny black buttons dotted down his torso and all that was missing was the perfect black bow tie, still undone around his neck. He cinched the cummerbund around his waist and then glared into the mirror, looking utterly cross at the offending fabrics. With shagging fringe hanging in his face and the bow tie hanging loosely around his neck, he looked perfectly disheveled and Kairi felt herself heat up almost instantly, wetness seeping into her panties and causing her to clench her thighs together. The damn man could pull off a tux and it was driving her mad.

She cleared her throat and stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and turning him gently, "Let me help."

He turned, huffing in frustration, "I  _hate_  ties."

She grinned up at him, moving quickly through the process to make it look perfect, "Why?"

He grumbled, "They get in the way."

Kairi chuckled as she buttoned his top button and he shifted, stretching his neck as if it were too tight and constricting, "Does it restrict the blood flow to your mind palace or something?" She chuckled to herself and Sherlock glowered at her. "Well, you wont have to wear it all night. I assume everyone will be in various stages of undress with an open bar and all."

"Will they?" He muttered low, in that tone that was specifically intended to spread goose pimples across Kairi's skin and a thunderous sort of passion to curl in her belly. She hazarded a glance up into his eyes and he was staring at her, molten eyes and a wry sort of smirk.

She scowled at him as she finished the tie, "You know how to tie a bow tie, don't you?" The corner of his lips hitched just minutely and she gave out an exasperated sigh. She continued with her glare and stepped back, only feeling testy because he had succeeded in his game of getting her alone and making her want him like mad, "You can be so infuriating."

He stepped forward and placed a hand on her neck, gently tracing the skin with his thumb, "I've heard it was one of my best qualities."

She still frowned, though blood was pooling beneath her skin where his hand rested, causing her nerves to go into over drive at the sensation of his fingertips tracing the lines of her throat, "From who?"

He gave her a short scowl, "Doesn't matter." He grumbled as he dove in for a kiss, pulling her lips to his in a heated rush. Kairi lost all sense of self in that moment, his lips pressing against hers seemed to light a fire between them, fueled by their desperate need as they closed the space between and pressed against each other. Kairi felt his hands, leaving trails of fire in their wake as they moved across her shoulders, down her arms, gracing her hips and thighs as he continued to kiss her deeply. She felt his fingertips grace the skin of her legs and they moved up the line of her thighs, causing her to gasp as they trailed slowly beneath her tight skirt. She stepped back and gripped his hands.

"I can't let you." She rasped, leaning forward to kiss him some more, "I mean I  _could_  let you," She giggled but then regained her composure, "but I can't! Not here, not now!" She gripped his face and forced him to look at her.

"Why not?" He whined.

She rolled her eyes at him. He pouted, he actually pouted with a jutted out lip and everything. She chuckled at his brazen, desperate behavior, "First, we are in a public place. Second, I don't know if you remember, but our friends are about a foot away from us outside these flimsy plywood walls! Third, if you even begin to touch me in that way I wont be able to control myself and I refuse to pay for a ruined dress that I barely like!" She hissed at him, but leaned in for another kiss despite her frustration.

"I'll pay for it. It looks lovely on you." He grumbled and pulled her closer, letting his hands grip her lower back as he held her tightly.

Kairi chuckled between kisses, "Sherlock, you  _do_  remember how loud I can be, don't you?"

His lips moved along her jaw and nipped at her ear, he gave her a deep, appreciative chuckle that rumbled along her spine, "Vividly…"

Kairi shuddered at that, "Then all of the store will know you're shagging me to death in this cubicle!" She lost her train of thought when his teeth grazed her pulse, "Oh shit."

He rumbled through another chuckle again and his hand snaked beneath her skirt effortlessly and just barely grazed the seam of her underwear before she jumped back, pushing him away and glaring at him.

"You're evil!" She snarled.

He chuckled again, but then straightened and adjusted his suit, "Fine," He grumbled, "I would like to spend the night tonight."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes at him, "You're not allowed to just expect sex from me."

He gave her an appalled sort of look, "I haven't the faintest presumption of sex," he almost sounded wounded, but a dark sort of smile crept onto his lips, "However that doesn't mean I wont try."

Kairi gave a small shudder and then shook herself violently, pointing an accusing finger at him, "Stop that! We  _can't_  have sex yet!"

He rolled his eyes, "Is this some sort of antiquated supposition? I've told you I am committed and -,"

"No!" Kairi said exhaustedly, ruffling a hand through her short hair, "We literally  _can't_  have sex yet. I've got to get a new implant in."

Sherlock scowled at her, "Why did you remove it in the first place?"

She gave him a bored sort of annoyed look, "The hospital required it. They wanted me to heal up completely before I got another one in."

His face crumbled slightly and he sighed, "Oh, I'm sorry." He looked back up at her and she smiled weakly. He moved forwards and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"It's all right, you can't know the state of my vagina unless you've been in there." She chuckled a little sadly, "They wanted six months to a year of exams before putting the IUD back in. Exams were difficult enough and you were gone so I waited longer. Now that you're home and I feel ready again, they'll be willing to prescribe one as long as I pass all my tests."

He nodded slowly, "I see."

She chuckled, sensing the question on his lips, "I have an appointment Tuesday."

He chuckled, "Yes, well, we'll have to make Tuesday special, won't we?"

Kairi laughed and looked up at him, placing a small kiss on his lips, "Perhaps, if you're good."

He smiled against her lips, nipping at her bottom lip, "I am  _very_  good, some might say excellent."

She rolled her eyes and pushed him away, " _Behave!"_

She opened the door and stepped out. Luckily everyone was so busy with drinking mimosas and discussing some of the more ridiculous outfits in the bridal shop binder that they barely noticed. Kairi walked out and moved directly next to Molly where she shifted uncomfortably, practically reeking of sexual desperation.

Sherlock approached slowly, "Is this passable?"

Molly looked up with a wide smile in her beaming eyes, "Yes Sherlock, you look wonderful."

"Yeah, he does." Janine winked and Sherlock narrowed his eyes at her.

"Right, next round?" Molly smiled and sat down, playing her fingers along the tops of her thighs.

"I've just put this one on!" Sherlock complained and everyone chuckled.

"Come now Sherlock, it's not your day." Kairi muttered and ushered him back to his room while Molly just giggled at him and everyone else went back to their dressing rooms.

"It's not really her day yet either, you know." He grumbled and Kairi shoved him into his dressing room and slammed the door.

A few minutes later, everyone shuffled out again near the same time. Lestrade and Sherlock were wearing full black suits, with a slightly slimmer fitting pants, a short jacket, a black waistcoat, and a black cravat, pinned at their chest's. John was wearing the same, except his waistcoat and cravat were white. All the men looked each other up and down and nodded, seeming to feel relatively comfortable, though Sherlock still seemed a bit riled over the simple fact that he needed neckwear at all.

Janine stepped out, wearing simple black slip dress, covered in sapphire lace that hugged her frame gorgeously. The front cut low between her bust and had a scalloped neckline in sheer lace that went up and over her shoulders to button at the base of her neck. The lace trailed down her sides, leaving a large triangle of exposed skin, the point at the base of her spine. The skirt was snug, but not overly tight with a scalloped edge that and fell at two or three inches above her knees. She eyed the men appreciatively, giving them a wink while licking her lips in a joking lascivious way.

Kairi finally stepped out, shuffling a bit and feeling nervous over the amount of sexy she was feeling. Her dress was the same color lace as Janine's. It had a form-fitting bodice that hugged her torso until it hit her waist, where it fell down to a loose circle skirt with a scalloped edge that fell about four inches above her knee. The top itself curved along her chest with the same sort of cut with sheer lace, inching up her clavicle on one side, to go over a single shoulder. As she spun slowly, she smiled wide, feeling beautiful as the dress fanned out around her and exposed her bare back, only one side ensconced in lace that curled down resting just above the curve of her spine. She looked to Molly who gasped and had tears in her eyes as she took them all in.

"Oh!" Molly squealed, "Oh, this is it!" She giggled and stood, clapping her hands almost wildly, "I love this! Just enough vintage and sexy! You all look glorious!" She reached her arms out to John who walked up and kissed her on the lips.

"Thank goodness, I'm starved!" John chuckled and nibbled on her face a little bit longer.

Janine walked up to Lestrade and smoothed his lapels, "You look like you walked out of a renaissance erotica novel."

"You look like a very sexy school principal, I think we could make this work." He smiled.

Janine winked, "Oh, I like the way you think."

Kairi shuffled up to Sherlock who was gazing at her with his dark, hungry look. She tried not to blush, but it was almost impossible because she could practically feel the lines his eyes traveled along her skin. He gave her a predatory smile and licked his lips.

"Don't do that." Kairi whispered and shuddered. "You look like Mr. Darcy, possessed by a lecherous demon." She chuckled and tugged gently at the jacket and touched the cravat softly, "I like it." She scrunched her nose and couldn't help but giggle.

He smiled and leaned in, brushing his lips against her ear, exhaling gently to let the heat of his breath tickle against her skin. One, single fingertip ghosted along her bare spine and trailed upwards, so slowly it seemed to drive her purposely over the edge of her sanity and into the depths of frenzied ardor. As her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she gripped his lapels tighter, he chuckled into her ear, "It does not do us well to dwell upon temptation, but rather indulge in what we desire, because what we do not seize, but lust after, becomes a poison in our hearts." He gently pressed his lips against her neck and she shivered in his arms, "Luckily, I have no such qualms with reveling in your siren's song."

Kairi held back a groan, "God…" She whimpered.

He kissed her ear, "No, not this time," he whispered in a low growl, "I think you'll call another name when the time comes." He stood slowly and winked at her, turning sharply before walking back into his dressing room to change.

Kairi padded back into her own room with knocking knees and sat down hard, putting her head in her hands as lust and adrenaline replaced her pumping blood, "Fuck," She muttered in a shaky breath, "Tuesday can't come fast enough."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Muhuhahahahahahahaha fluuuuuuufff... Ok I promise, and you'll hate me, but just a few more chapters until I get to some glorious Kairi/Sherlock smut. Until then GO READ SMUTLOCK DAMNIT! And leave me some reviews. Its a big rough around the edges and in the middle and all parts in between, but it sure is fun if you're into something a bit rougher.
> 
> So, since I spent so much time ripping out your hearts and stomping on them, I'm working on piecing them together with lots of fluff (eventual smut) and character development. We will dive back into the case soon, but its not the most important thing really happening here. I'm still thinking about 20 chapters, but definitely less than 30. So, don't stress, I'm still working on it and even though my brain seems to be in this permanent state of stupid, I'm still trying. Hopefully you're still enjoying it. PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.
> 
> I have had a request by Mira SeverusSirius Black-Snape because she is a precious reviewer of mine to have a Kairi/Lestrade one-shot of what happened while Sherlock was away. I'm intrigued by this idea and hope to get into it soon (I'm sorry Mira that my attention span has been laughable lately) and was wondering who else might be a bit fascinated by it. All in all, I plan on writing it for her anyways, but wasn't sure if I would post it publicly or not. Also, if you have requests for one-shots please let me know. I do need the challenge and I want to hear about people's thoughts or opinions about the universe. Even if its not specifically kairi centric, general Canon stuff too. Just let me know. I appreciate your time taken to read this :) I love you all dearly
> 
> Love you my Holmies.


	13. Chapter 13

Another week gone by had Kairi completely exhausted. She was working full-time with Terrence and Henry and it was a task that was keeping her exceedingly busy. Her days spent slogging though a tortuous amount of data for more than twelve hours at a time. Nights ended with her being half-exhausted, half-overwrought because Sherlock was hunting down some lead in the dregs of London with his homeless network. Kairi hadn't seen or heard from him for more than a minute's time since the tux and dress fitting the previous weekend.

Between sorting through the Plutus databases and security protocols, fending off Henry's awkward shy advances, not to mention Terrence's constant kindness which could almost be misconstrued as flirting, and Sherlock being mysteriously absent, Kairi was a bundle of raw nerves. She couldn't wait for the day to be over so that she could happily attend John and Molly's engagement dinner and hopefully have a romantic evening with Sherlock before her vagina decided to revolt and abandon her for a more fruitful provider. She had gotten her implant in this past Tuesday and she was itching to test out its resilience. Unfortunately for her, Sherlock had been knee-deep in the search for the paralytic source and hopefully finding some evidence. Otherwise, her lady bits would be furious.

She was wandering through the halls of the Wentworth home at the moment, a head ache viciously swirling behind her forehead and jabbing at her frontal lobe whenever she decided to blink. She was trying to find a bathroom, just a simple bathroom, as she walked through the overly shiny and eerily empty halls of Terrence's manor. For a moment, she desperately wished to be within the dreary walls of Baker Street where Sherlock kept things dark and brooding and Mrs. Hudson might make her some tea.

She opened another door and then let out a shocked choke, seeing Terrence in deep, somewhat heated, conversation with a gentleman dressed up in simple slacks, a long white coat, and a clipboard in his hands. Kairi's eyes couldn't help but dart around a bit and she noticed a bunch of medical equipment, including a hospital bed and heart rate monitor, "Oh!" Kairi felt flustered and almost dizzy, "Oh, I'm sorry!" She murmured, turning bright red as Terrence gave her a soft, if nervous, smile and went to reply to her. Instead of waiting for a response, she shut the door quickly, her body flushing all over, knowing she walked in on something she definitely wasn't supposed to be walking in on. She shuffled away as quickly as possible, down another hallway and through another door.

She leaned against it, flustered, frustrated, and so very exhausted from the day. She was miles and miles away from home and hitting a serious jam in her programming process. She was fed and watered, but the last week of heavy workload, Sherlock's return, the following fight, and many hours spent in serious, jilted conversation with her somewhat of a beau just made her want to sit down and cry.

She really needed a break, a solid break from the workload, a solid patch of time to spend with her friends, with Sherlock, to just find normalcy. Her chest tightened and an overwhelming sense of panic began to set in. She clenched her eyes shut, dug her fingers into her hair and began scratching at her scalp for a few moments, trying to center herself. She finally leaned her head back and sucked in deep, painfully slow breaths.

She opened her eyes on her fifth exhale and found herself in a giant study, sized similarly to the one she was working in with Henry. She let out a strangled sort of noise, almost frightened until she got a hold of herself, quelling her anxiety with the absurdity of the room surrounding her. She took a few steps in and chuckled awkwardly to herself and her current roommates, taking in the giant stuffed heads mounted on the walls with unseeing eyes and forced expressions. The chuckle may have been a bit dark, but the scene was completely garish. This was obviously the Manor's prodigious trophy room.

She wandered a bit further, looking at pictures on the walls of varying time periods, men and boys posing next to their kills in black and white, then muted colors, and eventually vibrant full spectrum. She got an uneasy feeling tingling through her limbs while walking through the pictures of young children posing with the corpses of animals. She understood the need for hunting, living off the land, possibly giving back to the earth with each kill to sustain yourself and the universe around you. She could be a bit hippie-ish in that way. She was somewhat of an animal rights person and hunting for sport was always something that bothered her and seemed downright selfish. She didn't understand why people needed to prove their superiority over another being by killing it. She always sort of hoped that simply having an advanced frontal lobe and complex emotions would indicate her mild superiority over an animal who she shared over 90% of her genetic code with.

She paused then, gulping heavily when she came across a newer photo. Terrence, probably in his mid to late teens looking somber as he held up his prize, standing next to a man who she assumed was his father. His father had an obvious proud grin stretching his features as he wrapped an arm around the boy in the photo, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. She shuddered slightly and then turned away, wanting nothing more than to be rid of the room full of dead things, almost screaming when she saw Henry standing in the doorway, still as stone and grinning at her. She could have had a heart attack thinking he was another stuffed trophy.

"I figured you got lost." He chuckled, leaving the door open and placing hands in his pockets as he strode forwards.

Kairi took in another calming breath and forced a weak laugh from her lips, "Yeah, I was trying to find a bathroom and I got a bit turned around." She smiled, but there was a tightness to her grin she couldn't quite get past. She was nervous about how long he'd been standing there, watching her.

He frowned at her as he reached her side, searching her features for something, "You not a big fan of the sport?" He glanced around the room.

Kairi winced slightly, "No, not really."

He chuckled, "Sure, I can understand that. My father was a big hunter as well, I used to hunt all the time until I started college. He taught me everything he knew." He smiled a bit weakly and a blush creeped up onto his neck, "He was very big on using every part of the animal for something though. He wasn't about being wasteful."

Kairi nodded, "That, I can understand. I just get a bit nervous around all of the…" She glanced at some sort of large forest cat that was stuffed and mounted behind a shield of glass, "the, uh, trophies."

Henry nodded, "Well, it's a point of pride really. My old man would do it for people every so often." He shrugged, feeling uncomfortable in the admission, "It was sort of his hobby, taxidermy. I know it sounds weird, but it worked for him."

Kairi gave an internal shudder, but she really tried to seem kind, "Sure, I guess everyone's interests are different."

He nodded, "Yeah, I never really did get the hang of it, working on animals like that." A dark look crossed his features so quickly Kairi missed it, but he looked back up at her and gave her a sweet smile, "My old man had a lot of weird interests in the end and I felt like cars was the safest route to take."

Kairi shrugged and tried on a smile, "Well, we can't all be taxidermists can we?"

Henry shook his head, his sweet smile turning a bit warmer, his eyes focusing a little too intently on Kairi's mouth, "No we can't." He cleared his throat and a flush crept up to his cheeks. He shifted from foot to foot, a stray hand reaching to the back of his neck, "Look Kairi, I was wondering… Since you and I both work in IT and, uh…"

He paused and Kairi stiffened, knowing what to expect and hating every second of it. She absolutely despised turning down advances. Unless of course it was some asshole thinking he had some sort of right to her and acted like she should feel so lucky for his attention. But men like Henry, guys who maybe she might be interested in but it was just the wrong place, wrong time, or at this very moment, the fact that she was very much in love with someone else, she hated to turn them down because they were indeed decent people. She didn't like to hurt anyone if she could get away with it. She tried not to grimace at him, steeling herself for the awkward question.

Thankfully, they were interrupted.

"Kairi, Henry? What are you doing in here?" Terrence said as he peaked through the doorway.

Kairi heaved out a breath, one anxiety being traded for another as she glanced around Henry, just now realizing how close he'd actually moved towards her. She saw Terrence looking perturbed as he strode in. She took a side step, placing some distance between her and Henry and grinned at Terrence awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I got really lost. I need a map or something to navigate your home. Henry found me and was going to take me back, I'm  _really_  sorry."

Henry shuffled, not turning to look at Terrence as his cheeks flushed bright red. Terrence gave him an odd sort of look and cleared his throat, walking towards them and trying to dispel the obvious tension in the room.

"Right, no problem then." He smiled, "I've been lost so many times I can't even keep track." Terrence grinned and clapped a hand on Henry's shoulder, "If you'd excuse us Henry, I'd like to speak to Kairi for a moment."

"Right." Henry nodded, glancing at Kairi a little nervously, almost looking like he was begging for her not to acknowledge how close he had come to his question. Kairi gave him a small, kind smile, but really hoped that it didn't seem encouraging. He turned quickly and exited the room, leaving Kairi and Terrence facing one another in a sort of delicate situation.

Kairi decided to speak first, her voice coming out at an agitated clip, "I'm really sorry I was wondering around. I wasn't trying to pry or anything. I'm just really, really bad at navigating places I've never been. I got lost in St. Bart's once. More than once, really. Actually, I  _still_  get lost in Bart's. I get lost at Mycroft's all the time. I need a bell on my neck or GPS. I'm absolutely hopeless and I'm sorry if I intruded-,"

"Kairi…" Terrence put up a hand, a grin on his lips caused by her flighty behavior, "I've got nothing to be hiding really, no more than anyone else. I understand that you got lost, it is really okay."

Kairi deflated slightly, "Oh, well, still…"

Terrence chuckled and sighed, glancing around the trophy room and shuddering, "I hate this room, it absolutely gives me the creeps."

Kairi frowned, "So — so these aren't yours?"

Terrence shook his head and looked aghast, "God no! I  _hated_  hunting. Last time I went was more than fifteen years ago." He sighed and glanced around, "I'd love to be rid of the lot of it, but it belonged to my father who recently passed."

Kairi felt herself swallow heavily, tears prickling in her eyes, "I'm sorry. I understand that pain."

Terrence gave her a rueful smile, "My father and I weren't particularly close."

Kairi felt herself blush, "Oh…Sorry, I didn't mean…" She had no idea how to finish her statement.

He chuckled softly, "It's all right. I'm much closer to my mother and well, that's what you walked in on earlier. She'll be coming home from the hospital soon. Thus needing to work from home."

Kairi frowned again, a pang in her chest that gripped her wholly. She saw the sadness in Terrence's eyes, sadness that she had most definitely mirrored at one point or another, "I'm sorry, is she…" Kairi struggled with the words, not wanting to intrude, but she felt for Terrence, deeply in that way. She only wanted to help, so she offered, "I can understand if you don't want to talk about that kind of thing." She was still looking at Terrence who glanced up at her, "I-I lost my father almost five years ago. My mother passed away only four months ago, though, she was really gone almost four years prior." She swallowed heavily and saw the pain in Terrence's features, "Alzheimer's."

He nodded, swallowing heavily, "My father passed away almost four years ago — relatively sudden heart attack. My mother was diagnosed with ALS recently - Lou Gehrig's Disease is the term you American's might know it by." He gave her a small smile.

Kairi felt the tension in her gut, she wanted nothing more than to pull the man in front of her into her arms and hold him tightly. Perhaps his father's death hadn't affected him, a bitterness still existed, but she knew the feeling of watching someone you love and trust more than anything in the world whittle away to nothing before your very eyes.

"Oh," She reached out a slow, tentative hand and placed it on his arm, "I-I know this can be difficult and I know I'm your employee, but if you ever need someone who can understand what you may be feeling, I'm here for you." She gave him a weak smile and he returned it, his eyes looking a bit more watery than before.

He nodded, letting his hand reach out and grasp hers very gently, in a friendly way, "Thank you, really." He sighed, "So far treatments have been helping, but, well, there's no cure or anything. It's just a matter of time." He finished weakly, gripping her hand a little tighter. "It's why I decided to bring her home for private care, you know. So she can be comfortable for however long it may last." He shrugged, his voice going hoarse near the end.

"Oh Terrence, I'm really sorry." She said quietly recognizing just how close he was to crumbling, "If you'd like me to, I can stay, but would you prefer a moment alone?"

Another small smile and a pat to her hand, "Yes, I think that might be best."

She nodded and went to step away and she exhaled tightly, stopping herself, "I'm sorry if this is inappropriate, but would you like a hug before I go?" She looked up at him nervously and she saw the ghost of a smile on his lips as he chuckled.

He sighed heavily, "You know, a friendly hug just may work for me right now."

"Good, that's what I've got to offer." She smiled and they leaned in, wrapping their arms around each other in the solemnity of sad children forcefully enslaved within the bitter cocoon of adulthood.

They held each other briefly, no nervousness, no expectations, simply supplying comfort between someone scarred by loss and someone freshly wounded. When they stepped back, they shared an easy smile for a few moments and Kairi nodded, making her way out of the trophy room and down the hall a few steps before she froze, seeing Henry just down the way, leaning on the wall.

He grinned a little sheepishly, "I thought you might need some help getting back to the study."

Kairi smiled, clearing her throat from the sadness that coated it, "Thanks." She replied a little weakly.

Henry guided her back towards the study, showing her the nearest bathroom before letting her know that the third door on her left would lead her back to the study where they were working. She stole away to the restroom and closed the door. She leaned against it for a moment and felt her eyes begin to water.

Everything was just a little too much for her at this moment and she desperately needed to cry, but doing it here was completely out of the question. She walked over to the sink and leaned forward on the granite fixtures, taking long, deep breaths and trying to calm herself. She also really, really wanted a cigarette, but the idea of trying to sneak around the property for a smoke break just made her anxiety peak. She stared at herself in the mirror, her dark hair framing her face, her red lips quivering between flushed cheeks. She pulled out her phone and dialed a number, praying that it would connect and she'd be able to hear the one person's voice she needed.

The phone rang for an indeterminate amount of time, but when the computerized voice asked her to leave a message, Kairi sighed heavily, more panic creeping out as a haggard breath. She sat herself on the closed toilet and put her face into her hands, ready to crumble, ready to sob, until she felt her mobile buzz in her hands. She almost dropped it, legitimately surprised at the vibration between her fingers.

She gripped it finally and pulled it up, answering quickly, "Hello!" She said a little more than desperately.

"What took you so long to answer? You ringed me first and then don't pick up when I return your call? Hardly appropriate phone etiquette and you know how I despise talking on the phone."

Kairi just laughed, long and hard. Sherlock's resolute sass had every ounce of the virulence she needed in the moment. His tone, clipped and obviously annoyed did nothing but make her happier. "It's nice to hear your voice Sherlock."

He paused, probably not quite sure how to respond to her affection, "I — Why did you call?" His tone was softer now.

Kairi smiled, "I'm having a rough day and I miss you."

Sherlock chuckled at that, "Yes, we have not had opportunities to interact over the last few days and I find myself —," He cleared his throat and lowered his voice, obviously trying to shield their conversation from prying ears, "—missing your presence as well."

She chuckled at that, "John and Molly's engagement party is tonight. You are attending aren't you?" He groaned his response and Kairi smiled wide, "It's the duty of the best man, you know."

"There should have been some warning about all of these  _requirements_." He spat acidly.

Kairi scrunched her nose at the tone of his voice, knowing he absolutely loved every moment of being asked to be John's best man, "Don't pretend you aren't excited."

He scoffed, "Excited to participate in the antiquated and arbitrary convention of a woman becoming submissive and no more than property to her husband? The origins of marriage are bleak, you know."

Kairi chuckled, "Yes, well, John didn't trade a cow for Molly, did he? They are both professionals, both respectable adults, and they want to enter into marriage because they love each other."

"Probably more so because of tax purposes and possible children who will end up advancing their genetic lineage." He muttered, "If they choose to have children that is." He added a bit sardonically, sounding slightly disgusted.

Kairi chuckled again, "Oh Sherlock, when you get all romantic like this it really does something for a girl."

"Registering dependents —," He paused, "I'm sorry, what?" Kairi just laughed as he continued, "Are you aroused by the mention of tax laws in relation to matrimony and progeny?" He sounded dumbfounded.

Kairi was wheezing at this point, trying not to choke on her own saliva as her lungs begged for air, "Oh Sherlock, I love you."

"Hmph," He grunted, "Yes, well, the sentiment is returned. Is there a purpose for this call or have you just been wasting my time?"

Kairi chuckled, "Well, mostly I just needed to hear your voice."

"Ah," He cleared his throat in the way he did when he was blushing and it made Kairi smile wide, "Has it been sufficient? I have an investigation to conduct, you know."

"Yes, it's been sufficient. Thank you for returning my call Sherlock." She said in her most sincerest tone.

She could hear him shuffle slightly and he replied in a soft voice that spread warmth beneath every inch of her skin, "You are most welcome."

The line went dead and Kairi felt much better. She sighed and decided to make use of holing up in the bathroom before returning to work. She finished, washing her hands and all that's required before walking down the halls. She was painfully thankful to find the study on the first try. Henry was bent over his laptop and when she walked in and when he looked up, he gave her a genuine smile.

She nodded in response and walked over to Terrence's desk where she began to go through the previous few hours of code. She was happy she did so, because her last few hours of work were piss poor and she was happy she didn't try to show it to anyone else — not that they'd really comprehend. As she sorted the backlog of code, she hummed lightly to herself, her fingers moving deftly over the keyboard to clarify the commands for the future program.

Dealing with the security restrictions would really end up being a pain, but what she was devising was a relatively simple solution. Her plan was to create a remote login program to tunnel into the company's system. Not only would Terrence be able to access all of his company's information and use his home computer as if it were his computer at work, but he would also be able to channel in through the company's internet access, reducing the risk of preying hackers trying to piggyback through a remote desktop uplink. Porting through to access the company's files in this way would be perfectly safe as well as provide complete administrative control to Terrence while still in the comfort of his own home. Kairi was slightly chuffed at her little invention, even eager to show it off eventually.

The process of building this program would be somewhat lengthy, since Kairi was doing most of the brunt work. Only a handful of assistants were available from Plutus to accommodate her and none of them were remotely up to her level or even Henry's. However, they would be useful in the end. This worked out better for her anyway, since the only work she'd need to be double checking was her own. She'd let the others get their mitts on it once it was in the final stages, that way they could double-check her code and ensure it would all work seamlessly with what they already had in place.

She smiled to herself as she typed away for the next few hours, barely listening to anyone else coming and going. She was on a serious roll at this point, her fingers finding the perfect rhythm on her keyboard as code danced along the screen. Coding always had a way of purging annoying thoughts from her brain. As her fingers tickled the plastic keys, she felt like she was finally going along a good vein: productive, intuitive, and even a little bit adventurous. She was happy with the progression of her program and was hopeful that it would come together as painless as she had planned over the next few weeks.

"Ms. Aria?" A voice called.

She looked up, finally noticing that the day had waned. Terrence's assistant or caretaker or whatever was standing there, faceless as usual with a grim tilt to his mouth. She glanced at her watch and grimaced. She needed to be at Molly's and John's in less than two hours. "Yes sir?" She said without thought and noticed the small smile hitch in his lips.

"Your car has arrived." He motioned to the hallway.

Kairi frowned, "Oh? Mycroft sent a car for me?" The man nodded and disappeared. She shrugged and then began packing her things, seeing Henry across the way, set up at a smaller desk and most likely organizing files needed for Kairi's work. "Are you all right Henry? Do you need me for anything else?"

He looked up and smiled, "No, I'm pretty much done here if you are." He also began packing his things and they made their way towards the door together.

He motioned for her to walk through first and so she did, nodding her appreciation. As they approached the entryway to the manor, Henry cleared his throat and Kairi flinched slightly hopeful not to have to rehash their previous encounter. "You know, if you ever needed a ride back into town, I'd be happy to take you. Perhaps we could stop for coffee and we could discuss, uhm, technology." When he finished his sentence, he grimaced which made Kairi's heart ache for adorably awkward man.

Poor nervous Henry, he was sure to find a decent girl one day. Kairi gave him a small, pained smile as Terrence's house assistant opened the door to the manor for her, "Henry, that's very kind of you," She began, turning to walk out of the manor as she spoke to him at her side while they made their way down the entry steps, "But I've got a -  _Sherlock_!?"

There he was in all of his Belstaff glory, standing at the foot of the stairs, waiting by one of Mycroft's sleek vehicles, "Yes, well, I thought I should surprise you." He gave her a weak smile, one tainted with irritation as he glared at her coworker.

She frowned at him, "Well," she glanced to Henry who was bright red at this point and she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment, "that's quite lovely of you Sherlock." She sighed as she walked up to him and stood on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." She smiled at him a little sheepishly, her insides going a bit churney at the smile he gave her, full of as much warmth as he was willing to supply in the moment. "I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, Henry Givers. He's the IT specialist at Plutus."

Sherlock rose an eyebrow at that, glancing between Kairi and Henry for a moment and she gave him an impatient sort of glare. He huffed out a bit of condescension and reached out a hand, "Mr. Givers."

Henry took this moment to shuffle up to them and shake Sherlock's hand, "So, you're uh, Sherlock?" Then his eyes went wide, his face somehow got redder, "You're  _the_  Sherlock? As in Sherlock Holmes?"

Sherlock smiled, looking at Kairi a little haughtily and she rolled her eyes at him, though his grin disappeared when he looked back at Henry, "Yes of course  _that_  Sherlock. It's not exactly a popular name, is it?" Kairi tried to subtly jab him in the side.

Henry looked over at Kairi in disbelief, "You're dating  _the_  Sherlock Holmes?"

Kairi grinned a little nervously, "Um, well, I would say — I guess I'm…" She looked at Sherlock for help.

He put a stiff arm around her and tugged her closer, "I believe  _girlfriend_  is the common term, though we don't tend to try and label things, do we darling?"

Kairi grimaced at his saccharine tone, "What?"

Henry flushed again, absolutely panic-stricken, "Yes, well, of course, I mean, you'd have to date someone absolutely top-notch, to keep up," Sherlock smiled smugly down at Kairi again, "wouldn't you Kairi?" Sherlock's grin dropped and it took everything within Kairi's power not to let out a cheer.

"What?" Sherlock replied, his voice laced with disdain.

"Kairi!" Terrence shouted from the top of the steps.

Everyone turned, Kairi flushed again as Sherlock gripped her tighter. This was her nightmare, an absolute nightmare. She cleared her throat, "Yes? Did you need me for something else, Terrence?"

He shook his head as he trotted down the stairs, a large grin on his features, "No! I just wanted to see you off." He reached the group and extended a hand to Sherlock, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Holmes, your brother speaks highly of you."

Sherlock's lip curled at that and he reached out a slow hand, devoid of any sort of dedication to the grip, "Yes, well, he has so little on his mind to discuss. I'd hardly consider his topics of conversation weighty."

Terrence grinned wide as they dropped their handshake, glancing at Kairi in awe, "How you managed to tame the Holmes brother should be a topic of national research." He chuckled and Sherlock bristled.

Kairi tugged him closer, chuckling lightly at Terrence, "Well, I must just have a predilection for genius." She glanced up at Sherlock who was resolutely terse, "And I would never say they are tamed. The Holmes Brothers are the most dangerous opponent anyone should ever dare to face. I'm lucky to know them." She watched Sherlock as he looked down at her, acknowledging her attempt to placate him and showing his disgust for it. She tried not to smile.

Terrence chuckled, "Right, I'm sorry. I better double-check all of my personal information, make sure that Mycroft doesn't try to knock me down a notch or two for that comment." He smiled wide and glanced to Henry who was still blushing, "Absolutely fascinating to meet you Sherlock. We've only known Kairi for a few weeks now, but we greatly enjoy working with her. She's been a real blessing to be honest, making all this possible."

Sherlock looked Terrence up and down quickly, taking note of few facts worth his time and nodded, "Yes, well, she is quiet proficient in her field." Kairi gazed up at him, honestly surprised and blushing just slightly.

Terrence chuckled, "That's putting it modestly." He reached out to Kairi and she shook his hand, "I won't keep you two. Have a pleasant evening."

"Thank you Terrence, Henry. Have a nice weekend." She grinned and they both nodded their goodbyes.

Sherlock nodded hastily, ushering Kairi into the back of the vehicle and shutting the door sharply on the men standing in the drive. He huffed and tapped against the partition to signal the driver they were ready. He sat back, removing his gloves, "That was horrible."

Kairi chuckled, "Oh, it wasn't so bad. They were practically fawning over you, _the Great Sherlock Holmes_." She smiled and scooted closer, wrapping her arm around one of his.

He shot her a sideways glance, "Yes, well, fawning over  _one_  of us." He added a bit bitterly.

Kairi sighed, "Stop it." She looked up at him and he still seemed stiff and distant, "I haven't even once entertained thoughts about either of them in a romantic fashion!" She insisted and he faced his full glare at her, investigating her features thoroughly. She frowned at him, "I acknowledge their physical attractiveness, but I've got you." She chided and poked him in the side. He squirmed slightly and deepened his frown, "No one could compete with those cheekbones." He tried to maintain his glare, but a slight smile crept through, "I'm happy you came to get me. Seeing you has been the best part of my week!"

He smiled fully that time, "I'm glad my zygoma could bring you such great joy."

Kairi laughed at that, "I'm serious, I was having a very rough couple of days. I missed you."

He straightened in his seat and allowed himself to lean into her, "Yes, well the week is over, as they say, and we've got a party to go to." He finished with the opposite of enthusiasm.

"Yes, a party, with friends, drinks and food and then we've got tonight." She smiled, "I think it's time we had a sleepover Mr. Holmes."

He gave her an odd look, "I sleep at your residence frequently. What would make tonight any different?"

Kairi glanced at the partition, matte black plastic that separated them and the driver. Probably, there was some sort of video and audio recording device monitoring in their presence. Probably, that would only make Sherlock more eager. She moved quickly, throwing a leg over Sherlock and straddling him in the large backseat of one of his brother's ominous vehicles. She seemed to genuinely catch him by surprise, by the state of his widened eyes and gaping maw.

She leaned in, gripping his coat for purchase and laid into him, kissing him with the pent-up energy, negative or not, that was stored up inside of her. He responded with fervor, snaking his hands beneath her thick coat, to hold her steady against him. As their lips and tongues moved in perfect synchronicity, each nipped lip and lingering flick of a tongue pulled a desperate moan from their throats. Kairi rolled her hips gently atop Sherlock, her thin slacks allowing her the glorious sensation of grinding into the bulge in his trousers. He groaned at the sensation, pulling her tighter against him, gripping her back, fisting the material of her soft sweater in his hands. His fingertips dug into her and she finally gasped against his lips, allowing him yet another opportunity to deepen their engagement.

She pulled back sharply, her hands planted on either side of his head and leveling him with a sensuous stare, "It was a euphemism." She accentuated her statement with another roll of her hips.

He groaned, ignoring her statement completely and pushed her hands away from his face, losing his fingers in her hair, gripping it at the roots and tilting her mouth into his. He unreservedly breathed into her in this moment, stealing a delicate whimper from her lips, a noise so frequently haunting him over the past year. It drove him further into desperation, he fisted a hand in the hair at the base of her neck and his other arm wrapped around her waist and held her tightly against the absolute ache between his hips. She heaved out another soft vocalization into his mouth and he savored it, drinking in the air from her lungs, the vibrations of her throat, greedily consuming her, grounding himself in the moment, the sensation of her and only her.

"My brother has cameras in here." He muttered against her mouth and then pulled away, allowing his lips to move down her jaw and nip at the base of her neck, her back arching into him, her hips tilting so demonstratively against his, that a growl escaped his lips and bled into her skin.

"We aren't going to fuck in a car." Kairi giggled and he repeated the gesture of his teeth and lips. She whined again, "Okay  _maybe_  we can fuck in a car." She dipped her head to recapture his mouth, which was a fight in and of itself, and consumed him wholly.

"We've got an hour." He mumbled into her lips and began fumbling with her clothing, getting his hands beneath her sweater and shirt.

She chuckled against him, his fingertips dancing on exposed skin, "God, I won't take that long."

He grinned in response, tilting his clothed hips up into her and she shuddered against him in the most sinful of ways, "I wasn't intending for that to seem like a singular event."

She giggled into his lips, "God, I missed you."

His fingers were delicate in her hair, smoothing it down as she continued to writhe on top of him and his mouth kissed along the lines of her neck "I've missed you as well."

Kairi let out an alarmed squeak and Sherlock cursed, shifting her position only slightly as he moved his hips upward and reached into his pants pocket where his mobile was violently vibrating. He pulled it out and glanced at the read out and cursed again, tossing the phone across the expanse of the car to the seat on the other side. He practically snarled and pulled Kairi to his lips again, despite her efforts to question him.

When his teeth nipped at her jaw she chuckled, "It's Mycroft isn't it? He's watching us. The perv!"

Sherlock snarled, "Sod him."

Kairi giggled again as Sherlock's hands shot beneath her top and his fingertips dug into the skin of her waist. She gasped as a hand trailed up towards her breast and then she cursed, Sherlock's hand paused only for a moment as she straightened on top of him, reached into her pants pocket and went to chuck her phone over her shoulder, but she froze, staring in horror at the screen.

"That fucking ASSHOLE!" She screeched and Sherlock actually dropped his hands, his eyes widening at the outright acrimonious tone of her speech. She huffed loudly and climbed off of him and sat on the other side of the car, leaving Sherlock gaping while she answered her phone.

"Yes, hello Wanda, how are you?" Kairi said in her sweetest tone, though the look on her face that she shot Sherlock was the complete antithesis of sweet.

"I'm doing wonderful, my dear!" Wanda piped over the phone, all cheer and glee. "I'm so excited to be seeing you both again! We missed you and Sherlock at Christmas this year."

Kairi glanced at Sherlock, her eyes in slits, positively seething, but attempting to remain calm despite Mycroft's villainous plot, "Yes, I'm sorry I couldn't make it. Hectic times this past year with Sherlock and I working and all."

Her eyes took Sherlock in and she felt her quashed lust return with a violent burst. He remained seated, gripping his trousers at the knees with such strength she could almost hear the seams screaming for release. His eyes were black at this point and his jaw was taught, gritting teeth and the trembling lips of a man positively possessed with rage.

"How are you dear?" Wanda questioned.

Kairi tried to gulp back her desperate lust, "Yes, I'm doing well, thank you. I'm on my way back from work. Sherlock was kind enough to pick me up in one of Mycroft's cars." She paused again listening to Wanda but barely paying attention, watching the buttons of Sherlock's shirt strain with each heaving, frenzied breath in his attempts to remain in control.

"Oh that's so dear of him!" Wanda sounded delighted, "What time will you both be arriving at John's?"

Kairi shifted in her seat, feeling horribly guilty as she practically gushed for the son of the woman on the phone, "Probably in about two hours. I'll need to go home and get changed before heading over to help them set up."

Sherlock's eyes shut now, as if in deep, enraged thought.

"Oh lovely!" Wanda sung, "You're such a dear. Be safe!"

Kairi shut her eyes, trying to weigh her lust against her guilt, "Thank you Wanda, we will see you soon. Much love." There were some kissy noises from the phone before the line went dead. Kairi dropped her phone at her side, exhausted, enraged, absolutely brimming with untamed need. She looked back at Sherlock who was almost shaking with fury. She shook her head, "I'm going to kill him."

Sherlock's voice was level, deadly, "No, no it must be much slower, much more tortuous."

Kairi shook her head, closing her eyes tightly, "Damn him!" She hissed.

"I will  _ruin_  him." He snarled.

Kairi put her face in her hands, "I can't believe him." She looked up at Sherlock, latent hysteria itching at her features, "Your brother, elite of the elite of the British government just cock blocked you!" Kairi let out a cackle and burst into uncontrollable laughter, with tears streaming down her cheeks, "We — we just got strategically cock blocked by your mother! Because Mycroft couldn't deal with us sh-sh-shagging in his car!" She squealed again and topped over on the seat, hugging her abdomen in fear that it would rupture.

Sherlock shook his head, glancing at Kairi who was shaking with laughter, curled up on the opposite side of the car and heaving. His snarl returned and he glared out the window, his mind buzzing in acute enmity, "I am going to systematically destroy him."

But it only made Kairi laugh harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muhuhahahahahahahahahaha They just mycrockblocked...hehehehehehehehe
> 
> So another chapter down and still a bit more fluff and backstory to characters. I'd love to hear what you have to say about Terrence and Henry since they are complete OCs of mine. Also anything else you'd like to tell me...Like how much you love me...:D Either way, I love you all and thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ye be warned this chapter is rated extra M for extra M reasons (yummy M reasons not murdery M reasons)

After frantic attempts to be presentable, Kairi and Sherlock finally arrived at Molly and John's to help them get ready for the party. Both of them had settled a bit, Sherlock's rage and need for revenge indeed replaced his lust as Kairi ran about her flat like untethered balloon in a windstorm, too busy trying to look nice for the party to worry about feeling sexy. They would both be meeting members of Molly's family tonight and at least one of them cared to make a decent impression.

Upon arriving, Molly looked just about as frantic as Kairi felt. Upon seeing this, Kairi immediately dispatched Sherlock, begging him to assist John with setting up so that Kairi could help Molly relax. No matter how decent or fun one's family is, this melding of two worlds, personal and familial was always nerve-wracking.

So far the invites only extended to close friends and immediate family. However, Molly's family, robust and a bit overwhelming, would outnumber John's invitees — as his sister was still unresponsive and his parents had passed away. Though his biological family was slim to none and his relationship with Harry was still rather tenuous, his real family consisted of a very limited number of close friends: people he trusted with his life and others that were indeterminately connected to them through either genetics or some sort of bond.

Kairi flashed a knowing look to a nervous John and she immediately ushered Molly into their bedroom with placating words and comforting hands. Upon entering a bedroom that was looking like it was left in shambles, Kairi sighed and gripped Molly's hands that were shaking.

She glanced back at Kairi, muttering "I don't know why we did this. We  _hate_  parties."

Kairi chuckled, "You do not hate parties, you're just under pressure. It's your family! They've met John and they love him." Molly shot her a very quick, nervous glance and Kairi caught it and chuckled, "I promise to be on my best behavior."

Molly swatted at Kairi who dodged her flying hands and hissed, "It's not you I'm worried about. All of our friends are in the business of death! My family already thinks I'm so weird and dark."

Kairi outright laughed at her as she pulled out the dress Molly and her had bought a couple weeks prior, "Oh stop it! You've got some of the most charismatic friends ever! John can be damn endearing when he wants to be and Lestrade is about as sweet as a human being — who isn't you or a baby — can get!" She looked back at Molly who was wringing her hands, "Molly, trust me, it will be fine! I'm betting even Sherlock will be on his best behavior tonight! He can be uncomfortably charming when he wants to be."

Molly shuddered, "How can you be sure?"

Kairi just gave her a wry grin and ushered her towards the master bath, "Because him and I have plans tonight and I'm sure that nothing short of an intergalactic crime lord would pull him from that."

Molly raised her eye brows as Kairi sat her on the toilet and started pulling out Molly's makeup, "Oh? What exactly is intended to occur?"

Kairi chuckled, giving Molly a teasing glare and began tending to Molly's skin with some light foundation, "Well, I'm hoping one or more of his extremities will end up in one or more of my orifices if we're going to be clinical about it." She finished as sweetly and innocently as possible.

Molly sputtered, ending up with a dash of make up going unblended on her face as Kairi began giggling as well, "Dear God, you two. I can't even imagine it." She tried biting her own lips to keep a straight face as Kairi continued with her make up. "God to be honest, imagining Sherlock being sexual gives me a migraine." She chuckled at Kairi, "Even when I fancied him, all I could really get out of it was maybe ruffling his hair and a good kiss — fat lot of good that did me."

Kairi giggled as she smoothed over Molly's skin, "Well, it doesn't give  _me_  migraines. Gives my lady bits a tingle or two to be honest."

Molly chuckled again, "I bet." Kairi smiled as she pulled out some powdered foundation and applied it lightly to help her foundation set. She went to grab some of the tubs of eyeshadow when Molly reached out and grasped her hand. Kairi turned, looking confused and saw Molly smiling at her with wide, wet eyes, "I'm really proud of you two. I know it hasn't been easy, but you've both come very far."

Kairi felt a prickling behind her eyes and she sniffed, "You aren't allowed to cry and you aren't allowed to make me cry! This was the fastest and most flawless makeup job I've ever done on myself in the history of forever." She tried to chuckle, but it caught in her throat and after a moment, she replied in a quiet voice, "Thank you. I love you, you know?"

Molly sniffed as well, "I love you too."

Kairi grinned and then went back to putting on Molly's flawless face for the evening. Not that Molly really ever needed make up — the wretch — but Kairi had every intention to help Molly feel the most confident and the most beautiful she could feel tonight. Molly always felt unnerved by outright attention and Kairi wanted to give her something to hide behind if she needed it. She gave Molly a light dusting of shimmer across her lids, almost the same color as her skin, highlighting the arch of her brow and the inner corner of her eyes with an incandescent white that seemed to brighten up her whole face. She added a very, very thin line of dark liner on her upper and lower lid and swept dark mascara across the lashes. A little bit of a peach colored blush on the apples of her cheeks and a heavenly warm pink across her adorable smile completed the picture and Molly looked like an angel.

Kairi began to fiddle with her hair, doing a very simple twisted braid on the crown of her head, leaving long strands to flow around her shoulders but keep it out of her face. She brought out a curling iron and added a slight curl to the ends and pronounced her only slightly less than perfect. "Since you look so goddamned gorgeous all the time anyway."

Kairi brought in Molly's deep green dress, a tea length, simple number that was modest and alluring in all the right places. Kairi went back into the bedroom to let Molly disrobe and waited patiently until she walked out, looking like an vision. John would surely have a conniption on their wedding day - Molly could be so easily radiant. Kairi grinned wide and then pointed to the body length mirror in the corner and turned Molly who smiled brightly at her reflection.

"Oh thank you!" Molly said with a wavering voice as she turned and threw herself in Kairi's arms. Kairi bit her lip, hugging Molly firmly.

"You are always welcome my dear Molly." Kairi muttered, holding her closest friend as tight as she could without crushing her.

"I can always count on you to bring me back from the ledge, cant I?" Molly chuckled, pulling back and taking in her friend whose usually wavy dark hair was stick straight, giving an alluring symmetry to her features, aided by blunt red lips and winged eyes.

"Always." She grinned and Molly squeezed her shoulders.

"Right, let's go help the men finish up out there." Molly smiled wide and grabbed Kairi's hand to pull her out into the wide sitting area of the flat.

John was fussing with a bucket in the kitchen, trying to arrange bottles of wine in it. He had set up the counter as a makeshift bar, with an assortment of liquor and sodas all available to drink or to mix. He had set glasses on the counter according to drink type, all of the wine glasses and tumblers separated and lined up with military precision. Kairi cleared her throat loudly and John looked up, looking impatient until his eyes set on Molly and everything about his face went soft in adoration.

"Molly…" He said breathlessly and abandoned his post to stroll up to her.

"You like the dress?" Molly smiled, her cheeks flushing slightly as John took her in with the sort of attentive glances usually reserved for inspections by the morose detective.

"Wow," He muttered and then kissed her gently on the lips, "You look amazing."

Molly chuckled, "Kairi helped."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "I barely did a thing you silly cow. Don't push the attention on me." She walked around them embracing and poked at Molly's side, "The artist is only as good as her medium." She winked and sauntered over to Sherlock at the snacks table and Molly and John chuckled.

"Everything looks great!" Molly smiled against John's lips.

He held her close, "You should see the treat table. Sherlock decided he should be in charge of arranging food."

Molly chuckled and flashed a glance at the stiff countenance of Sherlock positioned at the table, "Really? He wanted to arrange the food?"

John just smiled and pulled back, "Something about things needing to look symmetrical to be more appeasing to the eye." Molly shot him a disbelieving look, "I swear, he started talking about some golden number and I blanked out and decided to work on the drinks."

Molly let out a guffaw, "Well, let's finish it then."

He smiled wide, sliding his hands down her arms and slipping his fingers between hers as he gripped her hands, "Let's."

Kairi peaked over Sherlock's shoulder as he stood back and took in his work. She tried not to laugh at the way he was glaring at pastries, adorning a charcoal suit and crisp white shirt, unbuttoned down the neck and the grim stare on his features usually reserved for interrogating a suspect. But once she took in the spread, she had to admit, the presentation looked wonderful. Plates and cutlery were on one side, the main course — fancy sandwiches — were surrounded by all of the available toppings. Each plate was positioned perfectly equidistant to the next, laid out in a very delicate pattern with all of the right foods within reach of each other. It had a sort of _feng shui_  to it, all of the foods flowing in the order they should be eaten. Setting in the center of the table was a very tall platter of cupcakes, all arranged in a familiar sequence and Kairi couldn't help but snigger at it.

At her giggle Sherlock finally looked at her, his finger still resting on the curve of his upper lip and his eyes narrowed, as if calculating the precise positioning of platters needed to be the most aesthetically pleasing.

"The golden ratio? Really Sherlock?" Kairi chuckled as she reached out to grab one of the hors d'oeuvre and Sherlock slapped her hand away. She yelped and hissed, staring back at him in indignation.

"The Fibbonaci sequence is the most perfect sequence, even artistically rendered by nature herself." He muttered into his finger as he glared at the table, "Though I do feel as if the appetizers would be better situated if placed on a rectangular platter as opposed to the oblong one, rendering a unique symmetry to the —,"

Kairi shut him up by grabbing the lapels of his suit jacket and pulling him into a kiss, trying her best not to laugh at the incessant drive of the detective, "You're adorable."

He growled against her lips, seeming tempestuous, "Am not."

Kairi chuckled against his mouth this time and pulled back, placing an adoring hand on his cheek, "Are too."

He scowled at her and she ran her thumb over his bottom lip and he shuddered slightly, using the sensual moment instead to make it seem like he was brushing her off as he rolled his shoulders away from her. Kairi just chuckled and stood next to him, wrapping an arm around his as they surveyed his work.

"I think it looks perfect Sherlock." She glanced up at him, still glaring at some dish which didn't fit into his graphical arrangement of platters, "I promise, no one will even notice that the platter with the brushcetta is three millimeters too far to the left." She teased and noticed him stiffen. She held back a chuckle and squeezed his arm again, "It looks great!" She smiled and let go of him and walked away, watching him carefully as he shifted in place, his hands twitching slightly before finally reaching out to adjust the platter in question. Kairi giggled as she made her way around the island and into the kitchen where John stood behind Molly, his arms encircling her with his hands resting on the counter where she was chopping lemons.

She smiled wide, watching the absolute affection pouring out of those two. The warmth that seemed to encase her was overwhelming in a positively beautiful way. She was truly, utterly happy for them. They loved each other and they made it work and they had the sort of love that made it all look so easy. John was honorable and loyal to a fault. Molly was about as pure intentioned as you could get with a heart bigger than Kairi had ever seen. How in the world did she ever find herself with such wonderful people around her? She chuckled to herself, trying to blink her tears away before she felt a very gentle hand on her waist and Sherlock's warmth against her back.

He cleared his throat, his mouth naturally resting above her ear as she leaned back against him, relishing in the vibrations of his voice in his chest as he spoke, "It's rather pathetic, don't you think?" He muttered in a teasing tone.

Kairi chuckled against him, looking up at him from over her shoulder, "Jealous much?"

He gave her a very tiny smile as he rose his eyebrows and leaned over to press his lips against her temple, whispering softly, "Not entirely."

Kairi nuzzled against his lips for a moment before the reverie of romance was broken by the flat's doorbell. Molly stiffened in John's arms and he whispered something to her and she visibly relaxed. He patted her hip gently and then walked to the front door and opened it to a loud chorus of hellos.

Molly chuckled as she put down the knife and rinsed her hands, drying them hastily on a kitchen towel as a group of her family all began to spill into the small flat. Kairi looked up at Sherlock who seemed to blanche as the vivacious family all jumbled in with hugs and kisses and laughs. He swallowed visibly and Kairi just chuckled at him. She reached down and gave his hand a light squeezed and pulled him along to get introductions underway. He clenched her hand in his and Kairi realized that they were in for a very long night.

The introductions went smoothly, Kairi introduced Sherlock to Molly's mother Kathy, her step-father George, her brother Eric and his wife Raquel. Molly's Uncle and Aunt, Thomas Sr. and Emily, came in soon after with a bubbly Janine and a raucous cousin Thomas Jr. Kairi helped Molly cater to everyone's needs, fetching drinks and showing them where to sit while discussing introductory topics of strangers thrust into an intimate setting. John was fielding Thomases, Senior and Junior, with Sherlock at his side, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

Kairi and Molly shuffled about for a few moments, updating the family on all of the most recent wedding developments. George mentioned that they received the Save the Dates the other day and commented on how surprisingly posh they looked. The back-handed compliment got him an arm-slap from Kathy who tried to mediate the rude comment by saying they were lovely and only confirmed Molly's fabulous taste. Kairi had to stifle a chuckle at the absurdity of the situation and Molly gave her a good elbow in her ribs for her trouble.

Soon enough, Lestrade arrived, bringing a bottle of fine whiskey as congratulations and more conversation followed. Introductions and conversations revolving around the field of police work, triage doctoring, pathology, computer programming, and eventually deductive reasoning. It was all around hectic and decent fun as more people piled in, cheers for when Mike Stamford arrived, holding a bottle of champagne and even Mycroft arrived, looking pained with his cheery parents in tow.

Kairi shuffled to the kitchen to refresh her drink as she chuckled to herself below the din of conversation. She leaned against the counter, taking in Molly and John's huge smiles as Mike Stamford told them some outrageous story from his last few years teaching. Stories of befuddled med students desperately trying to pass their courses by the seat of their pants. She smiled wide when she saw Sherlock and Mycroft looking absolutely miserable in the corner, standing in silent solidarity, opposing such wretched merriment. Their sneers of distaste were obviously pointed in the direction of their father who was shamelessly flirting with Janine and making Lestrade almost choke on his drink from Timothy's jokes.

All in all, she couldn't help but feel absolutely charmed by the scene. Good food, good drinks, good company, it all rounded out to a clear vision of the eventual wedding which would end up being absolutely bonkers and fun.

She was watching Wanda eyeing her boys with slight disappointment as she conversed half-heartedly with Kathy and George and Kairi couldn't suppress the chuckle when Wanda glowered at her sons and motioned with her head — no doubt trying to get them to socialize. She outright laughed when Mycroft and Sherlock rolled their eyes like rebellious teenaged girls.

"What happens to be so funny love?"

Kairi turned at the voice and saw the express visage of Thomas Jr. He was a very tall and beefy man with a rounded, attractive face like Janine. He had the shoulders of a linebacker and the smile of a man who knew all too well how to make the ladies swoon. Kairi chuckled, "It's quite the scene isn't it?" She motioned to the room and he let himself chuckle.

"Yeah it is. Think of the holidays!" He said exaggeratedly. He turned his full attention on her and Kairi tried her best to seem polite but robustly uninterested, "So, you're Molly's maid of honor then?"

His irish baroque was deep and tinted with an all around humor and Kairi smiled sweetly, remembering Molly's warnings about her lecherous cousin, who was now eyeing her like a rack of meat at the butchers, "I am, yes. Kairi." She reached out her hand and Thomas took it, bringing it up to his lips and Kairi tried to pull it back, but his grip tightened. She tried not to grimace, but was probably unsuccessful when his lips pressed wetly to her skin.

"I go by Tom, love. Molly's cousin." He smiled and finally let go of her hand, leaving it clammy and cramped.

Kairi reached behind her and wiped his kiss and his sweat from both sides of her hand on the back of her dress, her eyes glancing over to Sherlock whose glare rested on the ginger in front of her. "Yes, Molly's told me all about her family. It's nice to meet you." She flicked her gaze to Sherlock and shot him a comforting smile, momentarily glaring at Mycroft who seemed to be vibrating with some sort of positive emotion as he glanced at his brother and smirked behind the rim of his tumbler.

"Pleasures all mine, darling." He chuckled and reached up his hand to brush a strand of Kairi's hair out of her face.

Kairi leaned back slightly as his hand inched forward, watching his meaty digits slowly creep towards the face she spent so many stressful minutes on. She opened her mouth to say something, to refute him, but before her ire could form her words, a slice of lemon flew through the air and whacked him right in the temple. Kairi let out a squealing laugh and covered her mouth, biting her lips and she looked into the direction of the lemon's origins.

Standing there was a horrified looking Wanda, her hands covering her mouth, rounded in a gasp, "Oh I'm so sorry dear!" She reached out to grab a napkin and bustled over to Tom, dabbing at his face that had lemon pulp and juices dripping towards his eye, "Dear me!" She glanced at Kairi with a spritely twinkle in her eye, while still seeming outwardly apologetic, "I was aiming for the sink and I missed horribly! You'll probably want to wash that dear, make sure lemon juice doesn't get in your eye."

Tom took the napkin from her gently, trying to restrain the embarrassment and the anger that was creeping under his reddening skin, "Thank you mu'um." He muttered and glanced at Kairi who was still holding her hands over her mouth to keep herself from laughing in his face. He hustled himself to the bathroom and Kairi and Wanda's eyes followed him as he passed Sherlock and Mycroft.

Kairi was still gripping her face to keep her giggles at bay as she glanced at the boys again. Sherlock was the one grinning now, sipping on his drink and Mycroft's mouth was hanging open in abject horror at his mother flinging fruit at lecherous party guests. Kairi glanced to Wanda who was looking at Sherlock and caught the quick wink she shot him.

She couldn't keep it in any longer and she let herself cackle with laughter. The room went silent for a bit and glanced at her curiously. Wanda was smiling brightly and waved them all off as Kairi used the sink to keep her legs from going out from under her. She finally caught her breath and looked back at Wanda whose eyes were still twinkling, Kairi couldn't fight the giggles, slowly pulling Wanda into her fit with a polite laughter.

Once they finally caught their breath, Kairi stood upright and placed a hand on Wanda's arm, "Oh dear God, thank you." She smiled wide and Wanda waved her off, "Not only did you save me from biting a stranger, but that was quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've seen all year."

Wanda chuffed, giving her a wry smile she recognized only too well, "Well, we can't have his mangy paws mucking up the maid of honor's make up."

Kairi grinned and took a slow sip of her drink, "And it had nothing to do with keeping your son from committing murder over another man grabbing at me?"

Wanda sipped her champagne with all the air of aristocracy that she deserved. When she was done with her delicate swallow, she looked down her nose at Kairi with an amused tilt to her lips, "Well he's just gotten back, I can't have him miss another Christmas — nor you either!"

Kairi chuckled again, "No, we can't, can we?" She let her gaze wander over to Sherlock who was still smirking, staring down into his whiskey.

"He's changed hasn't he?" Wanda muttered softly, reaching out to grasp Kairi's hand.

Kairi gulped back whatever emotion was trying to force its way out of her throat, "I'm sorry?"

Wanda glanced at her with a sad smile, "You've done so much for him. I can't thank you enough."

She gripped Kairi's hands in hers and Kairi desperately fought the tears that were trying to come out of her eyes as her mouth flapped open and shut, wanting nothing more than to refute Wanda. Kairi felt like she had done nothing but wound Sherlock in the past two years.

Wanda tutted her, seeing the sadness in her eyes, "Don't start that. I don't know what has been happening between you two, but I know it's been difficult." Kairi opened her mouth again and Wanda shushed her, "Now don't. It's none of my business and I don't care, but he adores you and it's changed him." Wanda smiled wide and leaned in, pressing her lips to Kairi's cheek, "For the better, dear."

Kairi gasped in a harsh breath and Wanda pulled her in for a hug, thankfully going unnoticed by the rest of the party. Emotions were swirling through her, heightened by the light buzz from the cocktails during the evening. Wanda held her closer and smoothed a hand over her hair, a comforting gesture that sent a warmth through Kairi's body — a warmth she hadn't felt in years. The love of a mother was something that was woefully absent from Kairi's life and it shocked her just how much she missed it. She gripped Wanda a little tighter and felt her chuckle.

"He told me." Kairi said softly against Wanda's ear, remembering their last Christmas together and the hope Wanda had. "He finally told me."

Wanda stepped back, gripping Kairi's shoulders with a shocked look on her face as tears welled in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, looking bewildered and lost at Kairi's admission. Her lips finally parted and she chuckled, astonished and a hand shot to her mouth to keep in her sob, "Oh." She smiled wide and Kairi had to bite her lips to keep herself from sobbing and flinging herself into the arms of the woman before her. "Oh!" Wanda squealed and pulled Kairi back into a tight hug, both of them sharing the sort of amused laughter of two people who were ultimately, insanely happy. What went unnoticed during their moment was that Sherlock had strolled closer to them.

He called out their attention when he was close enough, his bored, sardonic tone, disrupting their embrace, "Please don't tell me this abhorrent sentimental display is due to flying fruit." He sipped the whiskey delicately as they pulled apart and he noticed the tears on his mother's cheek and the adoring look in her eyes. Kairi was blushing and smiling up at him with a wetness to her eyes as well, filled to the brim with unshed tears. "What's wrong? Why are you both crying?" He glared at them for a moment, looking them up and down, "Sad crying or happy crying?"

"Oh Sherlock!" Wanda sighed and threw her arms around him, "I love you darling, you take good care of her."

Sherlock frowned, trying his best to seem disinterested in his mother's attention, but he felt himself relax as she pulled back and patted his cheek gently. He looked into her eyes, so full of an emotion that he was not familiar with — hope perhaps? Maybe a desperate sort of satisfaction? He wasn't sure, but he nodded to her anyway and she looked back at Kairi and shot her a wink before leaving. He watched his mother walk through the room, wiping away her tears and widening her smile, a vibrancy that wasn't quite there before, as she sat next to her husband and leaned into his touch, happiness just radiating all around her.

Sherlock scoffed and looked back at Kairi who was wringing her hands, biting her lip as she glanced back up at him beneath her full lashes. He felt an involuntary smile creep across his lips as he stepped forwards, reaching his hand up to hold her neck gently, running his thumb along that bottom lip he so desperately cherished. He watched her features, trying to hold something back, something he wasn't quite clear on, but she seemed to be happy. He went to lean in, her lips parting, her neck tilting as she met his eyes and welcomed the kiss he intended to give her.

The moment was broken by John clanging a piece of silverware on his glass. Sherlock immediately dropped his hand and took a slow step back, clearing his throat and directing his attention towards John, shifting slightly as something biting coursed through him. Kairi chuckled and scooted closer to him as they leaned back on the counter, she slipped her hand into his grasp and placed her head on his shoulder. He sighed with her movement and they sunk into a comfortable coexistence as John began to speak.

John smiled, glancing around at everyone gathered, "I really want to thank you all for coming. It really means the world to Molly and I that you're here to celebrate this with us." He looked down at Molly who was at his side, blushing furiously from her glasses of wine as well as the attention all focused on them. "I want to make this quick: marrying Molly is going to be the best decision I've ever made." Sherlock scoffed and Kairi elbowed him hard in the gut, John just chuckled pointedly glaring at Sherlock with affection, "No, it  _is._ "

He looked down at Molly who was just chuckling at Sherlock being a prick, "I cannot begin to explain how happy I've been in these last two or so years. Despite everything that we've faced in our lives she was always been a great friend to me." He turned towards her, grasping her hand in his, "I have very few good friends in my life and all of them are in this room." He glanced around, nodding to the group's smiling faces. He sighed heavily and turned back to Molly, "You are brilliant Molly, one of the most brilliant people I know and I am so very happy that you let me walk you home that one night at the pub."

He smiled down at her, her eyes shining in the bright lights of their home and John felt complete, "Your smile and your sweetness has been a constant in our crazy world and I can't tell you how many days I've been frustrated to my wits end with  _genius_  and craved just a sliver of your brilliant normalcy." He chuckled and she giggled, another scoff could be heard in the kitchen followed by a grunt of exhaled air. "I don't quite know how I made it so long without asking you out, but a piece of me always knew it would be you that I'd want to see at the end of an exhausting day."

His hand moved to cradle her cheek and she nuzzled the warmth he supplied, a tightness forming in his chest as he watched her seek comfort in him, "I just know Molly Hooper that I'll do my damnedest to love you the rest of my days and I promise that we'll find comfort in the madness." He chuckled, his voice carrying over the chorus of sniffles from around the room (and the almost audible rolling of eyes from the Holmes brothers). "You mean comfort and trust and happiness," He smiled as a tear rolled down Molly's cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb, "I've not found it easy to feel that way with people, there's only one other person I trust like I trust you," He nodded his head in Sherlock's direction, "And I sure as hell am not marrying that git."

"Excu—!" Kairi's hand clamped over his mouth before he could finish and everyone chuckled.

John refocused on Molly who was giggling now, "So here's to you Molly, the most beautiful woman inside and out that I have ever met. I love you with everything that I am and I cannot wait for the rest of our lives together." He lifted his glass, but before he could finish his cheers, Molly threw herself into his arms and her mouth fell across his in an adoring and hastily controlled kiss. There was a chorus of "cheers" and clinking glasses as everyone laughed and the happy couple raised their glasses with gigantic smiles on their faces.

Sherlock turned, his mouth still covered by Kairi's hand and he watched her: the woman he loved. She stood there, her face an abnormal combination of happiness and some sort of torment. His heart ached slightly, knowing her pain most likely stemmed from her desperation for a family like Molly had, for a simple life not tainted by what they had been through.

He watched her, knowing that her heart was brimming with love for Molly and John, despite everything that had attempted to destroy her, she was still so full of emotion for others. It almost pained him, how much she cared for everyone and how little she sometimes cared for herself. His gaze raked over her hair and skin, her eyes rather clear despite the unshed tears and a few drinks throughout the night. She was healthier than he had seen her in some time, with blushing cheeks and smiling lips as she took in the important event around them. She cared so much and he felt a pang in his chest, realizing just how much this moment meant to her — to see others so happy.

She was still resilient, she was a constant in his life, like John had been, like Molly was for John. He glanced towards the couple, surrounded by family and friends and he looked back at her and she glanced up to him, chuckling at her emotional display. He frowned slightly, watching her shy away from the emotions while he watched her. He never wanted her to stop being the way she was. She was vibrant in his black and white, detailed oriented life. She brought a sense of clarity when the featureless normality of the world around them bored him to tears. There was a tightness in his chest that he tried to ignore, fearing for a moment that it was anxiety or fear, but instead of the painful clenching of his heart in the throes of terror, he felt a different sort of tightness. A sense of fullness he didn't quite know what to do with.

While everyone shuffled about, hugging and cheering and saying encouraging words to the couple, Sherlock grabbed the hand over his mouth and tugged her along behind him, shushing her quietly every time she tried to speak. They strode past Mycroft who rose an eyebrow at Sherlock, who grunted a quick "Piss off," before escaping down the hallway and into Molly and John's small study. He closed the door and locked it, turning back to Kairi who was wiping at her eyes, trying to salvage her make up.

"Sherlock, what is i-,"

She didn't get to finish her sentence as Sherlock grabbed her around the waist and tugged her to him, his mouth claiming hers in a pleasing desperation. He could taste the sweetness of her drink on her tongue and the heat of his own mouth was shocked by the coldness of hers, probably from sucking on ice cubes left over from her glass. He groaned at the sensation and she relaxed against him, her body molding to his in the way it was wont to do. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders, her fingertips scraping along the base of his skull, curling in the short hair at the base of his neck.

He growled now, backing her up against the table in the room and she yelped, thankfully caught against his lips so it didn't make too much noise. His hands grazed over her back, memorizing the curve of her spine and dipping low to grip her buttocks as he pulled her even closer than before. She moaned into his mouth, her arms tightening around his shoulders, refusing to let even the smallest sliver of space and air keep their bodies apart.

She felt him hum against her, his hips pressing into hers and the bulge of his erection prodding another moan from her lips. She chuckled against his mouth and turned him sharply, surprising him as his own backside collided with the table and she abruptly knelt and fumbled with his belt.

"Kairi —," He groaned when she yanked his pants down around his hips.

"Shh!" She admonished him and she freed his erection from the confines of his detestable clothes, "Don't make a sound and  _don_ _'_ _t_  fuck up my hair." She gave him a very devious smile and his eyes widened as she opened her mouth and took him between her lips.

He gasped and then clenched his jaw shut, gripping the edge of the table behind him and leaning against it as her mouth moved along his length, the heat of her breath, the smooth wetness of her tongue rolling along his aching skin, and his legs shook with the exertion of keeping him upright. He'd spent many nights envisioning this, his hand gripping himself as sweat formed on his brow, pumping desperately along with visions of her lips, as they did now, pulling back along the length of his penis and puckering along the tip.

He opened his mouth to let out a hard groan, as he watched her, looking up at him and smiling around the head of his penis, his gut clenching so tight that he thought he might faint. He felt her fingers dig into his thigh, grounding him for a moment as he snapped his mouth shut and bit his cheek, tasting blood and warping the sensation into something positively devilish, his hips flexing forward slowly against her mouth and she took him in greedily. Her tongue rolled along the underside of his length and he shuddered, one hand grasping the table for stability and the other reaching out to hold the side of her neck and face.

Kairi was almost shocked by the tenderness of his touch along her cheek, she looked up at him again, sinking her mouth around him and pulling him deeper as he looked down at her, holding her gently as she moved over him. She saw something in his eyes, something pure that brought a sudden rush of overwhelming love for him. She relished in the moment, enjoying the taste of him on her tongue, the warmth of him in her mouth as she circled her tongue around the tip, pulling the sensitive end into her mouth and licking along the ferenulum, causing his knees to almost buckle. She chuckled slightly, the vibrations coursing through his erection and she heard him grunt softly.

Glancing up, she saw him biting his lip, his eyes shut tight as he relished in this perfect sensation, his face looking horribly innocent while lost in pleasure. "Kairi —," He gasped, barely above a whisper.

She smiled again and hummed, encouraging him, locking her eyes on his face and waiting for him to look down and see that she was fine and that she wanted this badly.

He finally opened his eyes and looked down at her, his face tensing for a moment as he watched her pull him into her mouth completely. He coughed lightly, his moan catching at the back of his throat as his orgasm rushed though him, ripping a torrid pleasure from the recesses of his mind and body, an almost foreign peace warming his veins as he watched her swallow his release, gazing at him with mischievous eyes until he was completely empty.

"Christ!" He rasped as she pulled her mouth away from him slowly, his penis still twitching gently as she covered him back up with his pants, leaving his trousers undone. She stood up slowly, his hand still on her cheek as he pulled her to his mouth and kissed her fevrently, his breathing painfully sharp as he tried to regain control of his body.

"I love you." Kairi muttered against his lips and he could taste himself on her tongue.

He let out something that almost sounded like a sob, but he wasn't sure, he couldn't control himself at the moment and he didn't trust himself to speak, so he just pulled her in for another kiss, using the table for support as she stepped between his legs and he pulled her tightly to him. The heated, desperate kiss slowed to a sensuous testing of each other mouths, time spent trying to recall exactly which way to tilt their heads, which way to flick their tongues, or where to nibble on each other's lips to pull out another moan from their partner.

When Sherlock recalled how to speak, he pulled away from Kairi, gripping her neck, "We need to leave,  _now_." He almost snarled and pulled her mouth to his.

Kairi just chuckled against his lips and started to redress him, trying not to giggle as he practically keened against her hand as she tucked in his shirt and adjusted his sensitive position. "We've got a party to attend." She smiled again, looking into his eyes which were dark and dangerous as they flicked over her features and focused on her lips, "I just wanted to get a quick one out of you," She bit her lip, leaning forward and nibble on his earlobe, he groaned, his hips thrusting forward and his teeth sunk into her shoulder, which caused her oversensitive nether region to practically gush, "That way you have a bit more stamina for later." She kissed along his jaw and pulled his bottom lip into her mouth and bit it gently, his hands gripped her hips almost painfully as he rolled his hips against her and she had to hold back her moan.

She pulled away, grinning deviously as she took a few steps back, "Try to regain a bit of control Sherlock, probably shouldn't let everyone see you so disheveled."

Sherlock almost snarled at her teasing, he desperately wanted to fuck that smug little grin from her lips and the way she was looking at him, sizing him up, and rolling her hips to gain some friction from her own movements made him think that she wanted just that. He grinned, standing a bit shakily to his full height and adjusting himself, redoing his trousers and pulling himself together as he licked his lips and approached her. He couldn't help but chuckle when he saw the teasing glint in her eyes flicker ever so slightly when he pushed a hand through his mussed hair and narrowed his eyes at her, backing her into the wall near the door.

He leaned forward, exhaling harshly onto the part of her neck just under her ear, watching her skin prickle as he refrained from touching her, but spoke, resolutely in his most menacing tone, "I want you to remember this Kairi, that for the rest of the evening, until this blasted party is over, anyplace that I touch you," he breathed again and let a single finger trace her hipbone above the soft material of her dress, "any time my fingers whisper across your skin, is a place where my lips and teeth will be later tonight." His finger graced the almost imperceptible line of her underwear, following the curve of her mons and she shuddered against the wall with a very quiet whine. He chuckled at her reaction, "I will happily remind you how it feels to be thoroughly, earnestly, and systematically pulled apart by pleasure."

He moved swiftly away from her towards the door, leaving her heaving in breaths, and shooting her a wink.

"Oh, fuck you." She glared, chuckling a bit weakly.

He looked her up and down, grinning widely, "I'll see to that my dear." He chuckled softly and shut the door behind him. Strolling back out to the party where their absence went unnoticed.

Kairi left a few moments later, waddling her way to the bathroom to try and compose herself, thanking every fucking deity in existence that the bathroom was out of sight of the rest of the house, fearing the dampness in her underwear was practically trickling down her leg.

Once she composed herself, taking calming breaths and pressing cool, damp hands to her flushed skin until it returned to its porcelain state, she fixed a neutral look on her face and prepped herself to return to the party. She prepared herself to face the smiling, excited faces of family and friends, and resolutely determined to not look completely ashamed while addressing Molly and John after she just gave Sherlock a mind-blowing orgasm in their study — every pun intended. Of course, that would be a little bit of revenge for the riding crop incident a few years ago.

The rest of the night, Kairi attempted to dodge Sherlock or keep a discreet amount of space between them as her own little rebellion against his ardent vow. The entire thing was fruitless though, as when she least expected it, she'd feel his fingertips brush across the nape of her neck, trace along her lower back, and at one point while she was sitting with Molly and John, he managed to dash a finger along the line of her ankle. If she weren't so aroused to the point of spontaneous combustion, she'd have been thinking about how the hell he'd pull that last one off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> muhuhuhhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
> 
> I'm sorry...smutty cliff hanger...But I promise you, I've got an entire chapter devoted to their rekindling coming at you next friday and I promise you its some wonderful smuff (Smutty fluff, remember?). So yeah, if for some reason you aren't excited for or choose not to read the sex scenes, next week will be a bore for you...So I apologize for that. I think I hear all of your groans and threats culminating into a very large disturbance in the Force... Patience loved ones, patience.
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying the story. I promise not to delay next week, but after that my updates may start to slow down. I've been having issues writing lately and its coming up on the one year mark since my father passed away. I'm in a weird emotionally bland place, fighting off depression and anxiety, while also have a lot of difficulty sleeping, so my imagination is spectacularly weak right now. I hope that I can get myself back on track, but yeah - it's a bit of a difficult time. I'm sure you all remember my giant absence during BiB&W and I'm just hoping that it doesn't devolve into how I went about it last year. I do however, go to therapy and have a wonderful support system of a loving husband and best friend, as well as my admittance to needing help - I'm thinking it may not be so bad... Or it will be horrible... No idea... My father was the only member of my family who I felt truly close to and I've lost him...
> 
> Either way, I love you all dearly. Thank you for being part of my writing process. Thank you for comments and views and favorites... It makes me feel less invisible than I always believed myself to be. You have no idea how much that truly means to me. Thank you for being so integral to my healing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT COMES TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAY SMUTTY CHAPTER IS ON THE WAAAAAAAAAY (no its here, its this one)

The ride home was tenuous at best.

Kairi decided to be a little bit impetuous, sitting on the opposite side of the cab and using all of her energy to pretend like she was barely interested in Sherlock's presence. Sherlock would just glance at her briefly, chuckle to himself and then stare out the window with a very smug smirk stretching his lips.

Upon arriving at Baker Street, Sherlock and Kairi approached the steps slowly, a small distance between them that Kairi kept insisting upon. She would glance back at him with a small grin, trying to be coy despite every inch of her vibrating in anticipation. Ever the gentleman, Sherlock followed, keeping his eyes from smoldering too much, opening the door for them and allowed her to walk in first with an air of chivalry. Kairi just laughed at him.

She kept the pleased grin on her lips when she stepped past him, head held high as she walked through the doorway and went to continue towards her home. No more than three steps in, even before the main door clicked shut, she felt Sherlock's hand wrap around her wrist. For a brief second, she smiled, anticipation warming deep within her chest, the second after that, she was spun on the spot, her mouth aligning with Sherlock's in such precision that she allowed an extra second to be impressed before absolute lust consumed her.

It began almost delicately, Sherlock's lips plying at hers, offering silent suggestions through the tiniest nips on her bottom lip or the ghost of his tongue tracing the upper one. She sighed into him, his taste, his weight against her, it was familiar and centering, a grin forced itself onto her lips though, much to their dismay, it broke the kiss's mesmerizing effects.

Sherlock pulled back hesitantly, gazing at her, his eyes questioning, probing, more forceful than the kiss a moment before. Kairi watched him, taking in his features and honestly surprised to see fear blinking in his eyes. She frowned at him momentarily, wondering why he would be so scared.

In that moment, her heart fluttered a little slower and she let out a heavy exhalation upon the realization that Sherlock was asking permission to continue. The heaviest aspect of this notion was not just the fact that Sherlock cared enough to ask permission when he usually did just about anything he wanted — damn all the consequences and anyone in his way. No, the thing that struck her so poignantly was that in his moment, in fact, the entire day, she had not been fearing her intimacy with Sherlock.

Every other aspect of her life had been so tainted with fear and insecurity before and after Moran, but during that day, she didn't fear Sherlock's touch. His grip on her waist, the strength of his hands around her, were not poisoned by the hands that had been there before. She did not find haunting memories creeping into her mind when his fingers traced along her sides or whispered up the curves of her breast. With Sherlock, his hand resting on the side of her face, his leather-clad thumb brushing gently on her cheek, Kairi did not have any fear. If she cared enough to cry at this moment, she feared she would never stop.

But right now, what she really wanted, was to screw this gorgeously caring man into madness and so she smiled.

Her hands grasped his lapels before he could manage to change his kind gaze to one of predatory delight and she yanked him to her. Her lips landing across his in finality, almost as if signifying that there would be no stopping past this point. She had needed him for a long time and she wouldn't pass up another opportunity.

With a delightful growl, Sherlock ripped off his gloves and tossed them aside, arms shooting around her waist and pulling her tighter into the kiss. His mouth desperate and consuming as he pressed into her. His hands grappled against her, strategically placed on her back to hold her against him completely, not daring to chance another annoying interruption.

They stumbled backwards, giggling into each other's mouths as they managed to somehow entwine their bodies further, still passionately embracing in the foyer of the building, slowly making their way closer and closer to Kairi's home but not giving a damn enough to pay attention to anything except the kiss.

They collided with a wall and Kairi couldn't keep in the small squeal that jumped from her lips as Sherlock lifted her effortlessly while deepening their kiss, to press her against the wall, hiking up the skirt of her dress around the tops of her thighs as he grasped one thigh and pulled the connected leg around his waist. He ground into her then, allowing her to feel exactly how hard he was for her and she moaned softly into the kiss, trying to tip her hips into him despite the disadvantage his height was causing. He tried not to chuckle, though he did enjoy having her at a slight handicap.

One hand's fingertips were digging into her thigh as his hips moved against hers, the heat of her center against his erection was euphoric and his other hand snaked up her side, gracelessly dragging across her breast before losing itself in the silkiness of her hair. She gasped at the movements, becoming more than just needy and frantic as they keened against one another, all limbs and tongues fighting for more and more sensation.

"I hope you are not attached to your hair style." He grumbled against her mouth, rolling his hips with more pressure against her.

Kairi chuckled, nibbling on his bottom lip as she tugged gently at his hair, "Why?"

He chuckled and stepped in closer, attaching himself once more to her mouth and stealing another moan from her lungs before whispering, "I plan to fuck it up."

The sound that bubbled up from her throat was almost inhuman in its amusement, but it quickly turned into another moan as the hand in her hair dropped almost instantly to the hem of her dress and pushed underneath. With speed and diligence, Sherlock moved the flimsy cloth barricade that was once underwear and let his fingertips gently roll across the burning folds, already slick and soft and ready. He growled at the feeling and the heady scent that rose to meet him and pulled his mouth away, watching her attentively as his thick fingers pressed and ground against the sensitive, enflamed skin, covered with slick curls awaiting his lips. She flattened against the wall, frantic for leverage to push against his hand resulting in a throaty moan. He couldn't help but smile, watching the way her body rolled against him and the way she responded so quickly to his attention.

A single digit slipped between her folds and pressed into her opening and Kairi couldn't stop the desperate whimper that escaped her lips. She opened her eyes, hooded and pleading as she looked up at Sherlock who was determined in his quest and almost adoring of her reaction to his fingers. One of her hands seemed to function properly and she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his mouth to hers ferociously, not giving a damn what he wanted because all she needed was him, in every possible way.

Their lips met desperately, fighting to taste one another in completion, each gasping breath cut short because one more second was needed to finalize the kiss.

Sherlock's hand moved against her slowly, curling his finger gently inside of her as she whimpered into his mouth, the heat of her enveloping his hand and the slickness of the skin around his finger clenching gently with each small thrust.

"Sh-Sherlock I ca-," Kairi whined into his lips, tears already forming in her eyes because of the overwhelming sensation that seemed to scald her nerve endings.

Something rustled to their side and Sherlock let out a harsh growl. He stepped closer to Kairi, wrapping an arm around her snugly before pulling his finger from her sharply and dropping the leg in his grasp. Kairi tried to cry out at the sensation, the almost painful halt, until Sherlock's mouth covered hers and absorbed the sound. He pulled her closer to his side, tugging her coat around her waist again and holding her tightly, to ensure she wouldn't drop from his hold.

He whispered as he turned them around, "I'm sorry. Close your eyes and smile lightly." He held Kairi who had no trouble following his directions. Her legs were wobbly underneath her and she leaned into him, her head on his chest while his arm wrapped around her. She had the agency to pull his coat closed across his chest as if she needed it for balance to hide his outrageous erection.

"Oh!" Mrs. Hudson chimed as her door opened fully, "Sherlock you gave me such a fright!" Her voice was muffled, almost nasally as she talked in a slightly slurred speech.

Sherlock turned, Kairi in his arms, leaning against him heavily, "I apologize Mrs. Hudson. We've just returned from John and Molly's and it seems Kairi had too much to drink." Kairi tried to frown, but her entire body was still buzzing, her breathing unsteady, and it took all of her energy just to remain standing in her no-so-faked-lust inhebriation and not dissolve into a puddle.

"Dear!" Mrs. Hudson said gently and walked closer, pulling her dressing gown tight, "I'm so sorry I've missed it, but I just can't shake this cold." To emphasize her point, she sneezed almost violently. "I've just brewed some tea, why don't you come in and see if we can get her to sober up?"

"No!" Kairi blurted out, her eyes suddenly wide and focused. Sherlock tightened his grip on her waist and she slumped against him again.

He chuckled lightly, "No need! I've got just the thing for her." Kairi tried not to snigger.

Mrs. Hudson still looked troubled, "Sherlock," she admonished, "you couldn't coddle your way out of a paper bag! Come now, have some tea."

Sherlock almost snarled, "Mrs. Hudson," he tried to tame his voice and Kairi shook against him with the effort it was taking not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, "You are unwell, take care of yourself first. I shall  _handle_  Kairi."

She gave him a doubtful glare, "Just a minute then, let me grab you a special blend for tomorrow morning."

" _Mrs. Hudson-,_ " Sherlock did growl this time.

"It'll do wonders for her Sherlock - honestly, do you care at all?" She chuckled as she turned and wandered back into her home.

Kairi opened her eyes and looked up at Sherlock with a devious grin, "That's good, I could use some tea."

He scowled down at her, "You  _hate_  tea."

She tried not to laugh at the hateful look in his eyes, "You've been gone a while, all sorts might have changed." She gave him a teasing glance and then feigned concern, "And I dunno, I did have a bit to drink. It might do us both some good to sober up."

He scoffed, "You've only had four drinks and I highly doubt that you're feeling the effects, I started watering them down after the first two."

Kairi gaped at him, "You've been watering down my drinks!" She almost screeched and swatted at his chest. He had the audacity to flinch, "I can't believe you would do that just so you could get la-,"

"Here we are!" Kairi instantly slumped at the sound of Mrs. Hudson's voice as she sang through the doorway, her countenance following shortly.

"Yes, thank you Mrs. Hudson." Sherlock said hastily, ripping the tea from her grasp, "Have some of that medicine I left for you. It will help you sleep. You'll want to take it now, it will take some time to work effectively." He tugged Kairi's slumping form against him, she was going a bit limper just to be a bother now, "Good night!" He muttered quickly and yanked Kairi down the hallway to her door.

"Oh Sherlock, be gentle!" Mrs. Hudson called out after him as he dragged Kairi along, "She's such a tiny thing!" She shook her head at the retreating couple, a small smile playing on her lips as she returned to her apartment and sat to have her tea, turning up the TV a bit louder than usually necessary.

As Sherlock and Kairi stumbled into Kairi's darkened apartment, Toby got up to welcome them. Kairi was still acting boneless in defiance and Sherlock tightened his grip around waist, crouching slightly as he shifted his shoulder into her side, making her sqeak. He huffed out an incensed breath and threw her over his shoulder amidst her protests.

" _Not now Toby_!" Sherlock growled to the ambivalent pup trotting towards them excitedly as he stalked towards Kairi's bedroom and threw her onto the bed with a bounce. Toby retreated to the fireplace, defeated.

She was giggling as she landed on her back, steadying herself up on her elbows and she gave him a very innocent smile, "Yes, do be gentle Sherlock, I'm quite frail." She bit her lip to keep the smile contained, but it didn't entirely work. He was standing at the edge of the bed and he removed his coat with a tug, throwing it to the side before yanking off his jacket while he grinned at her. "I don't know," she muttered faintly, putting a dramatic hand against her forehead, "maybe you didn't water down my drinks enough, I'm feeling quite tired." She added pathetically, watching as his eyes darkened, kneeling onto the foot of the bed and making slow, graceful movements towards her, like feline moving to pounce. "Perhaps I'll just throw on my jammies and have a nap." She jokingly yawned and began to scramble from the bed, but Sherlock grabbed her ankle and pulled her back, splaying each of her legs on either side of his knees.

"You won't escape so easily Kairi." Sherlock drawled, using the soft, deep voice that he knew drove her to madness, "I have plans for you, you see." He moved further up her body, watching with rapt attention as she arched to get just one semblance of his touch. He stopped when his hips were lined with hers and he dipped his pelvis, pushing up the hem of her dress so he could press his erection against her rolling hips, "I shall not be thwarted a third time today."

Kairi grinned wide when his face was level with hers, "So, no gentle treatment?" She watched his features, still and smug as he eyed her lips.

"Absolutely not." He growled and rolled his hips against hers again, her thighs tightening around him. "Not unless you beg me to." He muttered, leaning forward and kissing down her neck, biting her collar-bone.

Kairi's eyes rolled into the back of her head as his teeth cut through her control like a crack of lightning through clouds "God no," she groused with a moan.

He chuckled lightly as his mouth moved across her shoulder, dispersing bites and kisses equally along her skin and she shuddered as his hips rolled into her, "I was hoping you'd say that." He nipped at her jaw and moved slowly to capture her lips, but paused, his mouth barely an inch away as he smiled, watching her breathing heavily and staring at him in a demanding fury. "I believe you and I are wearing far too much clothing," He nipped at her lower lip, the plump skin between his teeth, tasting so very real that it burned through him. "I plan to remedy that, however, the score must be settled."

She gave him a questioning frown and opened her mouth the speak, "Wha-,"

Sherlock's hand snaked between her legs again and pressed two fingers slowly into her opening and her moans escalated with each centimeter he sunk into her flesh, "I believe I owe you an orgasm Ms. Aria." He stated with deadly finality, "I don't want tonight to end too hastily." He grinned wide, watching as she fell back onto her bed, her body easily moving against his hand with heat and slick precision, her thighs quaking as groans rose from the depth of her chest. He curled his fingers slowly and she gasped, her hands shooting up to grasp his shoulders as he held himself above her, a force to be reckoned with. His unadulterated desire coursed through him, so strong and poignant that it stirred something deep and hidden and beautiful. Watching her, passion flushing her cheeks and neck, the pale lines of her throat humming with a quickened pulse, he couldn't help but whisper, "You are beautiful, Kairi." He leaned down with reference, pressing his lips against hers, capturing the small whine that escaped her lips.

His fingers moved slowly inside of her, tasting every moan on her tongue, each thrust adding a small modicum of speed and pressure against her most sensitive spot within. She gasped sharply with each movement, her breathing labored and her hair fanning out beneath her head, a glorious sinful halo splaying around her smooth features, whispers of his name and pleads for more falling from her lips.

It didn't take long until her thighs were quaking around his hand and Kairi was whimpering against his lips, rolling her entire body against him in perfect concert with the fingers thrusting inside of her. Sherlock could barely control himself, watching as she moved against him, her face twisting with pleasure, muscles uncontrolled, and all decency abandoned as she cried out, her lips widening with a moan that could have been his name at one point of another. He felt her heat rush against him, her muscles clenching around his fingers as he curled them even further, undeterred by panting lips, he moved faster as she came, cutting something powerful with her, her body arching up against him and her hands gasping at him in order to hold onto something that seemed tangible through another haze of pleasure.

She sobbed as the pleasure crackled through her, tears leaking out of her eyes while gasping for breath and Sherlock slowed his movements, her legs shaking on either side of his hips, grasping at his hand. He removed his fingers slowly once her muscles had stopped clenching around him and he smiled as he looked down at his hands, drenched with her sweetness. Bringing the fingers to his lips, he licked them slowly savoring her taste and smell, hammering the rememberance into his mind palace resolutely. Kairi shuddered against him, whimpering beneath him, her hands clenched around his arms while he relished in her taste.

Once his fingers were clean, he leaned in closer so Kairi could wrap her arms around his shoulders and he held onto her tenderly, the feeling of her in his arms, lying beneath him seemed surreal. She held him tightly, as if he were her only tether to this world while her body twitched against him, one more tick of sensation to hold onto. He curled over her, holding her closely and kissing her gently. His lips moved slowly over her skin, finding the small tears on her cheeks and kissing the trails they left in their wake. Once her breathing returned to almost normal and she had stopped crying, Sherlock pulled back and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Are you all right?" He said softly, watching her features while she tried to form complete thoughts.

She nodded slowly, "I am." She took in another deep breath and exhaled before placing a lingering kiss on his lips and meeting his eyes, "I really am." She smiled sweetly, one of her hands moving to caress his cheek.

"I can imagine that was a bit overwhelming for you." He muttered, distracted as he tasted the mix of her orgasm and her saliva on his tongue, his lips still pressing against hers between words, "If you want to stop -,"

With a dignified sort of speed, Kairi interrupted him, rolling them over almost instantly. Sherlock, actually a bit shocked as he laid beneath her, suddenly had his arms pinned above his head, a curious eyebrow arching above curious eyes.

"If you finish that sentence I might punch you." She growled and then kissed him ardently. She pulled back, allowing them both to breathe and she smiled,  _really_  smiled for him, watching as confusion etched itself on his features "I've been missing you far too long Sherlock. I really don't want to wait anymore." She rolled off of him, shucking her jacket in a single move, the grace required for such an action actually shocking Sherlock into a seated position as his eyes trailed her. She moved to stand on shaky legs, but steadied herself, smiling back at her detective, "I'm not joking, get naked."

He tilted his head, "Aren't we supposed to undress one another? Isn't that — I don't know, alluring?"

Kairi chuckled, "It can be," she smiled wide as she reached behind her back and began unzipping her dress, "but I don't care right now Sherlock, I need to be with you, without anything else in between us. I can't stand it."

She let the sleeves of her dress fall down her arms, paying him her attention as she removed the rest of her clothing with ease and Sherlock began unbuttoning his own clothing as he watched her move. Her smile was so genuine it almost pained him. As he watched her undress, unharried, unhindered as she bared herself to him, he felt as if his chest might explode from the happiness he felt. He tried to keep it contained, keep in reined in, but he couldn't help the smile on his lips as he stood and they faced one another, removing their last vestiges of clothing.

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, taking in the curves and angles, shadows cast by the moonlight and it was truly perfection. Kairi looked back up at him, smiling, a blush creeping up her cheeks, though not from feeling shy. She reached out for his hand and grasped his fingers in hers, raising it up to the left side of her chest, just above her breast and rested it there.

Sherlock smiled as he felt the thrumming of her heart in the silence. He met her eyes again, grinning, feeling absolutely full in the moment, and he whispered without really knowing it, "I love you."

Kairi chuckled, choking back a few tears, "I love you too Sherlock."

He moved towards the bed and she tried to follow but he stopped her with hands on her shoulders, "Just…" He muttered sharply, glancing at her pleadingly, almost looking nervous. She looked confused for a moment, but then nodded with a soft smile. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her closer, to stand between his knees. "I just want…" His voice trailed off with hesitance.

Kairi silenced him by kissing him gently on the forehead, "It's fine." She stood before him, trying to seem brave as she observed him. Slowly, his moved his hands up her thighs, his eyes closing briefly as he let his fingers trace over her soft skin. She watched as he catalogued every inch of her, letting his fingers trace every outline, every bone and blemish, cherishing her, worshipping her form with his hands just for the sake of touching her.

Kairi's eyes welled with tears as she watched him, his eyes so attentive, full of wonder, as if she were some mystery of the universe that captivated him. The dark voice in her head, the one that told her she was worthless and ruined and hideous, the one that took so much effort for her to fight against, it was perfectly silent in this moment. The urges she had to turn away, to feel shy, to cover herself, were soon replaced with genuine gratitude and peace.

Sherlock's hands grazed over the planes of her stomach. His hands were deliberate, mesmerized as they brushed along her hips and thighs, tracing back up along her sides when she twitched. He glanced up at her, a slightly less than innocent smile on his lips because he knew she was ticklish, but he continued with his path, ignoring the childish temptation so that he could just touch her and see her.

The last few weeks had been so hectic and confusing. He had so much difficulty grounding himself in this world again after carrying so much anger and fear for so long. Watching her in front of him, patiently standing for him, allowing this indulgence to just truly grasp that she was there with him now. They were together, finally, and neither of them were afraid or in pain.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her sternum, his lips trying to communicate the depths of his need for her through their skin. His hands were adoring, moving slowly along her waist, around her back to hold her against him. He listened to her breath hitch as his fingers dug into her lower back and forced her closer. His lips trailed to the side, along the bony expase bathed in warm skin and desire beading through her pores. He dragged his bruised lips along the underside of her breast before licking and nipping towards her nipple with deliberate vaccilation. Her hands lost themselves in his hair, holding him in place and he obliged, chuckling lightly as he took her nipple into his mouth, a swirling tongue pulling it between his teeth to gently bite on.

She shuddered at the sensation a tingling sort of bourn up her spine, his grip on her back firm, but out of need rather than possession. She could lose herself in the ways she could feel the difference of his touch. He always had such a dedication to his movement, his intent clear consuming in the moment. Lips and wet heat streamed from one breast to the next, allotting the same tortuous attention as the other. His mouth was firm, but slow, as if he were committing each movement and breath to memory. A smile crept on her lips, as the tip of his tongue swirled around the nipple and then flattened, dragging the delicious sensation across the sensitive nub and causing her to squirm in his grasp.

He moved lower, taking his time along the plane of her stomach, pressing light lips against the curve of her belly as he made his way towards her hip bone and bit down gently.

"One." He said softly, kissing across to her other hip, his fingers slowly moving to grasp her waist, nudging her slightly to spin between his legs and face away. His hands splayed across her backside, his palms pressing gently into the curves, as he kneaded them in his hands. He followed the curve of her spine with fingertips and kisses, slowly moving, listening to her breath as it became more erratic. He stood slowly, his fingers blazed across her skin, one pulling up with her inhale and the other sinking down, pressing into her as she exhaled, both hands separating, one to grasp her breast and the other falling between her legs and gently rubbing her there.

He kissed up her shoulder-blade while he twisted a nipple in his fingertips. Flush against her, his erection pressed against her lower back, leaving evidence of his ardor along the heated skin, he moaned as she rolled her hips against his hand and bit the nape of her neck, soothing the sharp pain with the warmth of his tongue, "Two."

Kairi shook in his arms while his fingers played along her yearning heat, fingers sinking deep and rocking her against him. Her legs felt weak and she was ever thankful that Sherlock was holding her so firmly against him. Without his support she was sure to fall to the ground and dissolve into a complete mess. She moaned, a strangled, desperate sort of sound as he dragged his fingers across her clitoris, pulling further and further away from her opening, and his hand left her breast, meeting at her hips to turn her again in his arms.

He reached up and held her face in his hands, staring into her eyes, full of uncaged desire and unhindered happiness as he took her in completely.

"Making sure I'm really here?" Kairi said through jagged breaths, her eyes blinking with effort.

He gave her a unique smile, one that seemed almost shy, but absolutely sweet, "Yes. I had to be sure." He leaned in and kissed her softly, "You know me, I require evidence to work."

Kairi chuckled and deepened the kiss, her hand dragging down his abdomen, hard tensing muscles beneath her fingertips as she dragged them further to grip his length. He gasped into her mouth, grasping her hips tightly, and she smiled through the kiss, loving the feel of him in her hand, jerking towards for the friction of her skin on his. Thick enough and long enough just to be a perfect fit for her.

"Kairi." He groaned, the sound chastising and she couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well then, Mr. Holmes, what do you have planned for me?" She smiled into his lips, his eyes shut as he focused on her hand stroking his erection to the tip, his need for her providing a smooth sensation as she moved down towards the base with a firm speed.

"It's most difficult to think while you're doing that." He muttered, his hands moving from her hips to around the curve of her spine, his fingers digging into the skin and sinking lower. "However, you will not sway me."

Kairi chuckled, "Sway you from what? Hm?"

He bit her lower lip and sucked between his, licking along the tender skin, plump and burning on his tongue, "I plan to make love to you first," he growled as she tightened her grip to something sinful, "then, possibly fuck you through a wall."

Kairi giggled, nipping at his lip when he relinquished hers, "Very well, Mr. Holmes," She got up onto her tip toes so she could press her lips to his ear, "I'm yours for the taking."

He leaned forward and bit her neck a little more roughly than before, turning them and pulling his hips away from her hand. He nudged her and she assented as she sat on the bed with a teasing frown playing on her face. He leaned forward and kissed her, urging her backwards as they crawled onto the bed and he settled between her legs while their mouths kept busy.

When Kairi finally laid back against the pillows, her thighs snug around his waist, Sherlock kissed her hungrily and pushed into her slowly, allowing her a chance to breathe and stretch around him, fighting the urge to lose himself in her depths. She was tight around him, tighter than he thought possible and he had to grit hit teeth against the desire to move too quickly as he sunk into her. She moaned, low and long as he fully lost himself and she rolled her hips against him, begging him to move.

Their mouths connected again in a flurry of need, almost independent from the way their hips began to slowly grind against one another, steady and sedate compared to the burning passion that was eating them up inside. Kairi was whimpering against his mouth, sweet little noises that sounded so perfect in comparison to his paltry memories.

Everything about her was smooth and slick and warm, real and tangible in comparison to the past years worth of ghosts and vapors in his mind. He gripped her tightly, holding her so that every movement he made incited a reaction in her skin, her voice a chorus of sighs and groans in his ears as he tasted and felt every available inch of her.

Kairi curled herself around him, hooking her ankle around his knee and thigh, her arms encircling his shoulders and gripping the lush hair at the nape of his neck. She tried to form cogent thoughts, thoughts of peace and healing, but all she could do was feel. He was with her, finally, and everything seemed click into place. Lost inside of sensations, each strenuous length of his thrust pulled forth more and more. His skin was smooth and warm against hers, causing the perfect amount of friction to make her feel so very alive as he pushed into her with lengthened strokes and rolling hips. She felt a heat, pooling in her core, forming screams in her diaphragm and she refused to fight it. She refused to feel ashamed for wanting him and needing his touch, for wanting to feel beautiful and completed when he was inside of her. She loved him. She loved being with him — in every way. She'd no longer hide from that sort of happiness.

Sherlock shifted slightly in his movements, anchoring his arms on either side of her head to kiss her deeply through a few more long thrusts. Straightening his arms and tilting his hips upward as he pushed inside of her, Kairi's entire body shook against the sensation, her legs twitching at his hips as her breath caught in her throat. The orgasm rolled over them both, muscles tightening along every inch of Kairi's body and holding him tightly inside of her, pulling fevered moans from his chest as he moved slowly out against her fleshy resistance. He groaned while she pulsed around him and was happy to hear her finally take in a deep breath, as if she'd been starved for air.

He smiled down at her, through hooded eyes and a mash of hair and his hands moved as he did, grasping her hips and pulling her snug down around him, a sharp, pleasured yelp when he reached her end. Sitting back on his heels, he kept her deeply wrapped around him, her heat delicious and engrossing as he spread his knees to further accommodate her, angle into her with precision. He hooked an arm beneath her knee and pulled her leg up, placing her foot on his chest. Watching her reaction as he swiveled his hips gently, causing just enough friction to keep her moaning and on the edge of desperate arousal. He grasped her other knee and pulled the leg up, placing the feet next to one another. His free arm curled around her thigh and his hand pressed between her warm thighs and buried his fingers into her folds, rubbing firmly on her clitoris as he rolled against her again, long and slow and smooth and she gasped at the overwhelming glory of the moment.

He continued to an arduous pace, his thrusts timed perfectly with each slow stroke across her clitoris. She was keening now, as the heat built up inside of her, while he tortured her with pleasure. The focus in his eyes as he gazed down at her was almost too much. The way he watched her, the way he needed to see her react, the attention to every breath and singular movement — it was beautiful. He pushed into her again, more firmly this time and she gasped, he continued, watching her legs shake and her hips roll up to meet his thrusts while she whined and begged for his body to continue. He obliged and sped up the pace of his fingers, planting his thrusts deeply and she jerked against him, tightening, rolling, and groaning as he pulled another slow orgasm through her body, powerful and tireless in its advance through her muscles, squeezing him tightly while breathing seemed lost to her.

When Kairi's body finally relaxed against him, wetter and tighter than before he moved slowly and she moaned, curling her hips, "Please…" She said breathlessly, needy.

He chuckled lightly as he moved to place one ankle above his shoulder and took the other one in his firm grasp. He pulled the joint to his lips and bit her ankle gently, "Three."

Positioning her legs on either shoulder, he leaned forward and she moaned as he pressed into her. Impossible though it seemed, she was tighter and wetter around him, like a vice used only to torment him unto his utter end. He moved inside of her, groans torn from his control by the way she grasped at him in every way, shaking around him with each thrust, gushing and clenching, causing him to lose control over the speed of his hips.

She begged him now, with kisses and gasps as she came again and again, his body pounding into that delicious little spot that tore all of her agency from her and forced her body to succumb to pleasure. She was grasping his arms, straightened and planted on either side of her while he snapped his hips against her, deeper and harder against the curve of her thighs, cries flooding from her lips in the form of whimpers. He shrugged one shoulder, allowing her leg to drop and he adjusted quickly, never relenting on his pace as he thrusted into her, closing the space between them as he held her head in his hands, holding her in place as he consumed every inch of her pleasure.

The kiss was shattering, pulling forth that dark and desperate warmth from the depths of his consciousness. His orgasm clenched along every muscle, fired along every nerve ending, and screaming along his spine. Arched against her in one last desperate thrust, losing himself completely through moans that he could neither confirm nor deny belonged to his lips. They shared the air they breathed in this moment, wrapped around one another so completely, so close it was burning. He pulsed inside of her, small thrusts of his hips, unable to let go of the sensation as she clenched around him. In these last moments of perfect peace, they fought the darkness that wanted to strangle them with the emotions swirling through the receded darkness of their minds.

They pulled away from one another, Kairi sobbing as she kissed him and a wetness on Sherlock's cheeks that he wasn't sure came from his partner. They were grasping against one another, heaving chests and raw nerve ending as they stared into each other's eyes, absolutely stunned by what they just did, feeling as if time and space had collided in a moment of beautiful cataclysm.

"Jesus Christ." Kairi muttered, higher thought finally returning to her. She pulled in a breath past her tears and settled a little further in their contorted position.

Sherlock adjusted slowly, the stretch of her leg and the arch of his spine making for a delicious sort of pained reluctance towards comfort. He remained inside of her, still hard and pulsing as they sunk into an easier position. "Are you all right?"

"Am I all right!?" Kairi almost yelled and then she chuckled which caused both of them to groan in an odd state of discomfort and pleasure. "I'm perfect you maniac." She smiled and reached up to him for another kiss.

He chuckled against her lips, "Yes, I believe I can agree with you on that."

Kairi rolled her eyes and kissed him again, "You nerd. I guess you get some brownie points for that one."

"Brownie points?" Sherlock asked, completely oblivious and possibly a bit insulted.

"Yeah, like boyfriend points. I get to add and deduct and cash them in when necessary." She smiled mischievously.

Sherlock reluctantly pulled out of her slowly, both wincing because of the strain on their muscles as well as the distinct feeling of emptiness it caused, "Am I allowed this sort of senseless point system with you?" He rolled onto his side and pulled her close.

"Nope!" She chuckled, "You already said I'm perfect. No use in a point system for something that is  _obviously_  off the charts." She snarked sleepily and rolled into his arms, kissing his nose, "I've got to clean up."

Sherlock chuckled and allowed her to leave his grasp for the moment, watching her waddle into the bathroom with a rather pleased grin on her face. He adjusted the blankets and prepared for them to sleep while she busied herself. He gripped himself gently, shrugging at the fact that he was remaining half hard for the moment, unsurprised. He doubted that they would be getting much sleep in the end.

She returned to the bed and curled up into his side, her face clean and bare of make up now as she was ready to sleep. She hummed against his neck and they curled around one another, her leg wrapping around his waist and their arms fitting to hold one another close.

"I've missed you so much." Kairi said softly, kissing his shoulder. Warm skin clung to the other, smoothed by the finest sheen of sweat and effort, muscles begging for just a little more.

"I've missed you too." He muttered into her hair, kissing the side of her head, his hands splaying along her curves.

"Shall we have a nap then? You can wake me for round two in a few hours?" Kairi muttered jokingly, relaxing into his grasp.

Sherlock grinned, rolling his hips gently against her heat and she shuddered involuntarily, "I'm not sure I'll need a few hours."

Kairi tried to giggle but it ended in a slight moan, a sizzling need dragged across her nerve endings, "Jeez, maybe John was right. We might need an IV to keep us nourished."

Sherlock rolled them over so she was beneath him and kissed her smartly, "I've stowed water in your bedside table."

Kairi glared up at him with only half the heat of her words, "Stop breaking into my home." She kissed him again, "And why just water? What if I want a cheeseburger?"

He glared back, "I have it on good authority that the human body can survive without food for close to thirty days. Water is much more necessary than a cheeseburger."

Kairi pouted, "But I  _want_  a cheeseburger."

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "I'll get you a cheeseburger tomorrow, now shut up. We've got much to catch up on." Kairi giggled through the kiss, but it quickly turned into a moan as his lips and tongue trailed down between her breasts, hot breaths and smooth lips soon littering the insides of her thighs, the rest of the world fading around them and thoughts of cheeseburgers far, far away.

What remained completely unnoticed, especially at this late hour was Kairi's silenced phone, now showing that she had a new multimedia message ready to be viewed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FJDKSAL;FJKDL;SAJFKDLS;AJFKDL;SAJFKDL;SAJKFDLS;AJFKDL;SA
> 
> *coughs*
> 
> *adjusts disheveled clothes*
> 
> I mean, erm, A/N
> 
> HELLO EVERYONE.
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was more than a delight to write. About a hadron of delight to go back and edit numerous, numerous times. All in all, I dont have too much to say other than I hope you all enjoyed this. Please, please, please comment and let me know what you think. Its the big reunion! WHAT ALL OF OU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AND BOTHERING ME ABOUT...JEEEEEEZ. Just kidding, I was torturing you all with emotions and feels - thats why I gave you smutlock, cause i couldn't bare not writing smut another goddamn moment - and it was long and patiently awaited.
> 
> Thank you all for your kind, encouraging words. I'm moving forwards and working on better options to help with my issues. The next few weeks will be rough. I may not update for two weeks, instead of just one. I've got a lot going on and though writing really helps me sort through my business, I wont have a lot of opportunity to sit down and write a full fledged chapter. I will work on it, I just don't know how quickly. Thank you again for your support and your patience. Love you all.


	16. Chapter 16

Kairi woke, stiff and sorer than she had felt in quite some time. She also felt outrageously warm for being stuck in London. As she forced her eyes open, trying to roll them to face the right direction as she focused on the world around her, she had the sudden realization that those peaceful movies with morning-afters and fluttering eye-lashes obviously didn't take into account hours of raucous, sweaty sex, nor the idea that pets had not one iota of respect for personal space. She glanced up, faced with a sleeping, slack faced Sherlock on one side and then glanced down to her waist where Toby's head was resting, the rest of his body curled around her lower half. She chuckled softly and pulled a hand from around Sherlock to pat at Toby's head, whose mouth stretched out into a big doggy smile and his tail began to whack the sheets.

Sherlock groaned, his arms tightening around her and moving to nudge Toby's head out of his way, "He's worse than Appa."

Kairi scoffed and slapped his hand from pushing Toby, "Appa was a great snuggler. Toby just likes to snuggle too. I needed a snuggle while you were away." She sank back into their embrace and Toby adjusted, feeling like he was very much a part of their little moment, "I thought that was the point."

Sherlock nodded, pulling her closer, letting his fingers ghost along her sides, "Yes, well, I was hoping he'd realize once I was back he wouldn't be needed."

Kairi chuckled, watching as Sherlock kept his eyes shut during this entire exchange, as if willing everyone to go back to bed, "Well that's a rather dumb notion — even for you." She nuzzled against his neck, "He even joins me in the shower if I forget to close the door."

She saw Sherlock jerk slightly, the notion of laughter tilting his mouth slightly, "That is ridiculous — even for you," he mocked.

Kairi grumbled but leaned in to kiss him softly, "I'm going to shower," she felt his hands grip her waist and his very erect morning visitor press into her belly, "As much as I'd love to help you out with that, I need a shower — alone — I'm sore as all hell and I need coffee and food. Go get coffee ready." He groaned and pulled her tighter against him, but she shifted her hips, causing Toby to move and she poked Sherlock in the ribs, the small spot that he was ticklish in (at least when he didn't expect it) and he gave her a surprised yelp and let go. She rolled away from him deftly, chuckling proudly as she landed on her feet and stood up. It was a bad idea in the end, as her entire body protested — unused to Sherlock's amorous attentions and hours of sex.

While she shuffled into her bathroom, Toby moved into her spot and snuggled up next to Sherlock who had the decency to rub his belly for a few moments. Once the shower turned on, he finally forced his eyes open and looked down to see Toby lying on his back, his head upside down and staring at Sherlock with adoring eyes and a gigantic lolling tongue. He scoffed slightly and withdrew the affection and Toby rolled, lunging at his face and landing in a few good licks. Sherlock glanced around, realizing Kairi was happily humming in her shower and allowed a few moments of boyish glee to peek out as he pet Toby on the belly and allowed him some excited attention.

He gave Toby a final pat, who rolled away and jumped off the bed, yawning and stretching. Sherlock followed suit, glancing down at his current annoyance, an appendage that was now whispering thoughts of joining Kairi in the shower, but he stilled his mind. He went to her closet and pulled out some of his pajamas, using a few moments of strict thought to try and ease his hormones.

They spent hours last night reconnecting, like erector sets using bits and pieces to come together in functional, fun positions. He chuckled lightly at that, ideas now flooding his mind about different ways he could take her as he walked through her home. It was distracting, but he allowed himself a brief reprieve from his usual genius while he indulged in lecherous thoughts.

He padded out to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee — one of the few things he begrudgingly did for himself. He thought about trying to make breakfast, but realized his efforts would most likely end up in some sort of chemical fire. He only allowed himself a few minutes to think about what kind of explosives he could make out of Kairi's household items.

He was jarred out of this line of thinking as he made way back into the bedroom and began picking up his and Kairi's discarded clothing from the night before. Most of the items were a bit soiled from their activities their hasty disrobing, but luckily enough for him, he had clothes seconds away. He draped her items on the bed after he lazily straightened the sheets and he scooped up all of his items, intended to give them to Mrs. Hudson later to take to dry cleaning.

He glanced back over at the coffee maker, taking a second or two to recall that Kairi's machine took approximately twelve minutes to prepare a full decanter and decided that was plenty of time to dash upstairs and take care of his own grooming responsibilities. He called on Toby who followed him about, opening up the door to the street so Toby could go do his business for a minutes or two. When the dog bounded back in, Sherlock sent him off to Kairi's home while he took the stairs two at a time, leaving him enough time to shower and be ready for the day.

An odd smile rested on his lips, more serene and genuine than any smile Sherlock had shown before. All of this was unbeknownst to him of course, but nonetheless, the tightness in his muscles, the warmth in his gut, it all proved to him that he was very much a happy man. The long year they had spent apart had done much for them in both good and bad ways. The pain the endured, the things they had done, had contributed to some sort of twisted healing. As Kairi was still attending sessions with Dr. Sherman a few times a month, Sherlock decided it would do some good to discuss things with the doctor in order to help sort through this new emotional aspect to his mind palace.

With a small grin on his lips and a skip to his step, he made his way upstairs and began to shower.

Kairi finished up, taking her usual time to bathe and added a few more minutes of stretching for good measure. She completed her usual routine and got herself re-dressed in some pajamas. Luckily enough, she had the weekend off and barring some horrible emergency, should be able to spend some of her day with Sherlock.

She made her way out into her kitchen seeing Toby lying in his favorite spot by the fireplace. The coffee was long done and her detective sat at the table, flipping through her tablet, sipping on a cup.

"You know Mycroft would be upset if he saw you looking through my work tablet." She rose a strict eyebrow as she passed, making her way to coffee.

"Oh?" Sherlock feigned innocence and he did so horribly, "I didn't realize it was your work tablet."

Kairi rolled her eyes dramatically, "I'm sure it must have just slipped past your iron clad deduction skills."

"Well, rest assured, I was only trying to look up local news." Sherlock added coldly.

Kairi grinned, "Only because you can't figure out my passwords to the important files." She heard his huff of annoyance that signaled she was indeed correct about her assumption and poured out her cup, mixing in a bit of condensed milk to her preferred sweetness. "Enjoying local news?" She muttered as she sipped and sat next to him, leaning over to peak at what he was doing.

He shot her a dark look, one that wasn't quite true judging by the forced look of it, "Nothing of great importance."

Kairi chuckled, "Well, what do you have in mind for today?"

Still staring down at the tablet, Sherlock's annoyance disappeared and was replaced by a wolfish grin. He opened his mouth to reply, but Kairi interrupted.

"I don't think I can handle having sex all day Sherlock, I'm seriously out of shape." She chuckled at his pout, "Honestly, it's not like I don't want to throw you down on the table this instant, however, I do need some recovery time." She emphasized this with a yawn, "Especially since you didn't let me go to bed until the wee hours of the morning."

His pout twitched slightly, obviously amused that she was thoroughly exhausted from their nocturnal activities, "Well, I have evidence to go over."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Right, well I'm sure John and Molly could use some help with wedding things. Seating arrangements, flowers, table settings, and all that, we could meet up for lunch and then go over there to help?" She tried to smile at him, trying to demonstrate how fun it would be to spend time with their best friends but Sherlock's face automatically puckered in distaste. She reached out and slapped him gently on the arm, "Don't make a fuss. You're the one who decided to decorate the table last night and display your artistic side."

He frowned further, "That was simply my need to exert some sort of paltry control and organization to such a horribly planned party."

Kairi leaned back as she sipped her coffee. She placed it down gently and folded her arms over her chest, laying him with a look of absolute condescension, "Yes, please tell me how you making flower garnishes out of slices of turkey indicates a paltry amount of anything other than you being full of a paltry amount of shit?"

He sipped his coffee delicately, ignoring the scathing tone, "Sarcasm is most unbecoming of a lady."

Kairi snorted in defiance, "You know better than anyone that I am lady-like as fuck when I want to be, so don't give me that." She leaned forward, a teasing glint in her narrowed eyes, "You're the one making turkey flowers."

He tutted her, "Now who is being sexist?"

She rolled her eyes and then just laughed, "I was not inferring anything other than your proclivity for artistic flare in all that you do."

He scoffed, "Artistic flare?" He sounded downright offended at the insinuation.

Kairi sipped her coffee, "I'm sorry, with all your collar-popping-coat-flapping-twirling-every-object-that-you-hold, I could barely hear your weak defensiveness." She shot him a sickly sweet smile and he could barely fight the grin that was itching to get out.

"You're infuriating." He grumbled as he looked back down at the tablet, stiff and unyielding.

Kairi chuckled, "So that's a yes?" He didn't respond and she just chuckled as she stood, going to her bedroom to grab her phone and call Molly. When she didn't see it on the her night table she frowned and looked around her room to no avail. She started pawing through her clothing with no success and huffed out an annoyance.

"What the bloody hell are you doing in there to make such a ruckus?" Sherlock shouted from his seat at the table, "I'm trying to figure out what Mycroft has to do with the conflict in Syria."

Kairi rolled her eyes as she palmed her coat, looking for the familiar lump of glass and metal, "Where's my phone?" She shouted back.

"How should I know?" He grumbled loudly.

Kairi sighed, "Right…" She got onto her hands and knees and started crawling about her floor, peaking under clothes and her night stands until she finally discovered it lying beneath her bed. "HA!" She shouted triumphantly and scrambled to grab the black lump and pull it to her happily, hugging it to her chest as if it were a long lost friend. She stood and grabbed her coffee flipping through her pending notifications as she walked back out to take a seat next to Sherlock.

"So…" Sherlock muttered as she flipped through emails from work and spam mail from everything and nothing.

She arched an eyebrow, tearing her eyes away from some email from a discounts website, "So?"

He cleared his throat and checked the time on the tablet, "Well, it is morning."

Kairi placed her phone down slowly, fully intending to torture him. The bastard was hungry and she had an inkling that he would skirt around the topic until he somehow convinced her to make him some food. She would happily do it of course, but teasing him relentlessly was a staple in their relationship, "I see your detective skills haven't diminished in the last year." She gave him a wry smile.

His eyes narrowed and he ignored that statement, "Last night was quite eventful."

Kairi was desperately trying not to smile, "Once again, astute observation."

He frowned fully now, "We haven't had much in the realm of sustenance since the party."

Kairi dramatically gaped, "You're right!"

Now he leveled his most hateful glare at her, "You're being intentionally vapid."

Kairi gave him an evil sort of smile, "You're being intentionally coy."

He cleared his throat, "I haven't the faintest -,"

"Come now Sherlock," Kairi purred in the way one would talk to a child, "use your words, like a big boy."

He almost lunged at her, "Wretch." He hissed.

"Snake." She spat.

They sat for a few more minutes, glaring at each other. Kairi grinning and sipping her coffee as delicately as she could manage, even popping up a pinky to seem demure. Sherlock ground his teeth for a moment and finally sighed in assent.

"Would you make me breakfast?"

Kairi shot him a wide smile, full of its usual kindness and frivolity, reaching far into her eyes in a way that made Sherlock instantly warm, "I'd be happy to make you breakfast Sherlock." She stood abruptly and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Then what the devil was all that for?" He growled.

She smiled over her shoulder, "Because it's important for you to use your words when communicating with others." He rolled his eyes with disdain, his entire face thrown into the effort to show how desperately finished he was with speaking to her. It only made Kairi laugh a bit harder as she pulled out some nominal ingredients. "How about waffles?"

Sherlock stiffened, "No matter."

Kairi grinned, knowing fully just how much he enjoyed her waffles, flavored with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon that practically incited rebellions in the populace if there weren't enough to go around. As she gathered everything needed, she recalled a few fond mornings, before Moran, when she'd make breakfast for Mrs. Hudson, John, and a morose Sherlock who had such steely control over his body that he seemed to survive without food for days on end. It was always a light affair, colored with happy conversation and maybe a begrudging detective who was more intent on solving murders than eating a full breakfast.

However, she watched him carefully after Mrs. Hudson practically threw a fit over him refusing Kairi's generosity. He reacted as any petulant child would, leaning away from the plate, but taking up a fork and jabbing a chunk of butter and syrup slathered waffle, lifting it to his pursed lips as if he were being force-fed refuse. Once he placed it in his mouth, Kairi easily recalled the look of shock flash across his features for only a second. He recovered easily and managed to pretend to choke down a little bit more as everyone talked around him. If there was one thing Kairi was viciously enthusiastic about, it was gluttonous breakfast food.

She pulled out her waffle iron, a beastly thing she had happily invested in, and allowed it to heat up as she mixed the batter together. She flashed a glance to Sherlock a few times, seeing him pretending to be disinterested in the whole affair, but once in a while she'd catch him watching her as she mixed or inhaling the lush smells of fresh batter being heated into little squares of perfection.

During the moments of cooking waffles, Kairi pulled out the necessities and began making some bacon and scrambled eggs. When she did breakfast, it was always in extremes. She either shoved a banana down her gullet as she ran out the door or she created a full course meal out of the affair. Sometimes, one just needed to be treated to a buttered waffled with high quality maple syrup and freshly whipped cream. All in all, Kairi still loved to cook and she had not had an enormous opportunity (or desire) to cook for people in the past year, so now she'd pull out all of the stops. A celebration of sorts, Sherlock's return, their efforts to rebuild their relationship, and of course the night full of amazing sex they just had.

"What has you so amused?" Sherlock asked as he padded into the kitchen, barefoot and wrapped up in a dressing gown, to grab some more coffee.

"Just musing about life, that's all." She smiled wide as she flipped the bacon in the pan, "I'm glad you're back." She glanced at him, standing against her counter, wrapped in his silken robe, most likely no shirt beneath it. She was hungry, painfully hungry, but another hunger was growing headier by the second and so she turned away from him, mixing up the eggs a bit and turning off the heat, placing a cover on the pan so that they would keep warm.

He chuckled softly and returned to his seat. He had seen the blatant spike of lust shoot through her as she eyed him, but he would respect her desire to eat. He couldn't exactly complain either, the waffles smelled absolutely heavenly and he was quite hungry himself. They had expended quite a bit of energy the night before, so he would allow them some reprieve. He returned to his chair, waiting patiently and watching attentively as she busied herself around the kitchen, he knew better than anyone how disgruntled she could get when someone interrupted her cooking process. He had tried to offer assistance a few times before, but was sorely mistaken in how useful he was in the course of cooking. Now he took to sitting and watching her, helping only when asked, but otherwise staying out of her way. He smiled softly, watching her flit around, managing the waffle iron and bacon and eggs and making it seem effortless and even graceful.

When she plated all of the items, she brought him his share, followed by butter, a container of warmed maple syrup, and of course a dollop of whipped cream on top of the waffle itself. He thanked her with a murmur and a blush and tried not to devour the entire thing in one bite. It was perfectly prepared just as it was the last time she had made this for him, almost a year and a half ago. He watched her eating, a smile on her face as she flipped through her phone again, no doubt checking up on her family in the states, judging by the fond smile on her face.

They finished up rather quickly, little dribbles of conversation here and there about how things were going. Kairi had explained how stressful things had been in the past week or so with her job. She told Sherlock more about her co-worker Henry. He had a sort of strange vibe about him, very nice and all, but a bit off — not all that uncommon in people who work in technological fields. It can be difficult to socialize and be comfortable in everyday situations when attentions are turned towards other things. It really wasn't all that difficult to understand, Sherlock being who he was. He liked to pretend that he was never the difficult one, but everyone else surely knew he was full of shit and quite the diva.

These things caused Kairi to be thoughtful. It was difficult, managing a complex life with complex relationships. For so long, before Sherlock and Molly and John and Lestrade, she had invested so heavily in keeping herself secluded. Her dire need to keep her private life and professional life separate was slowly dying. Now Henry knew she had a boyfriend — it wasn't something she was hiding, but all in all, she didn't want to get into it and have them ask a million questions about her genius beau — he would most likely back off his advances and perhaps they could push past that awkwardness. And with Terrence, the bleeding wound of her parents' deaths was trying to reopen itself and fester all over again. When she'd seen the sadness in his eyes, the pain, well it was all too much. She knew what it felt like to feel outrageously alone, to feel so overwhelmed that you could barely stand, and she just wanted at least one person to know they weren't alone in that — like she had been. Hopefully things would only start to improve now that she was getting closer to completing her software. Perhaps a few more weeks and she could ease the burden on Terrence's shoulders.

"Oh!" Kairi said as her phone sprang to life and vibrated about a new message in her inbox, "Molly wants to meet for lunch!" She glanced at Sherlock who seemed displeased, but she knew better than to believe he didn't like spending time with Molly and John, "They are thinking about sushi!"

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "Aren't they busy with wedding things? I do have other plans for the day, you know."

Kairi grinned, "That's the point, they probably  _need help_  like I mentioned. As best man and maid of honor it's our duty to do so!" He grimaced and she chuckled, "Oh stop it." She muttered and went back to texting with Molly for a moment.

"What a bother this wedding business is." He grumbled, "I don't see why it's so important to make such a spectacle."

Kairi glanced up at him, "Well, some people like that sort of thing or they want to celebrate it with their friends." She narrowed her eyes for a moment, "You know: dancing, drinks, frivolity."

He scoffed, "How tiresome."

Kairi grinned, "We can't all have crimes committed at weddings to make them more interesting."

Sherlock nodded, weighing the option, "That does sound more favorable."

"Of course it does," Kairi muttered drolly, rolling her eyes. "I can't wait to dance! It's been a long while since Molly and I have had time to go out dancing. Between the morgue, my project, and Mycroft, we've been horrendously busy."

Sherlock narrowed his gaze now, an ominous sort of look pulling down his features, "Yes, Mycroft," he spat with distaste, "what has he got you doing now?"

Kairi flashed a grin at Sherlock, "It's classified."

Sherlock groaned at her sneer and he stood up, grabbing their plates with much more brutishness than necessary while Kairi giggled at him. He began rinsing of the tableware, momentarily shocked by the domesticity of it all and felt an itch on the back of his neck, his need for chaos, something adventurous. He shook himself, wanting to belay that desire in lieu of another as he glanced up to watch Kairi, curled up on her chair and texting with Molly.

He chuckled slightly, trying to keep the nagging voice in the back of his head quiet, the one that insisted this was wrong and he was not meant for this. He  _enjoyed_  Kairi's company, she brought an aspect to his life that he had long believed he was fine without. It wasn't a matter of his life needing completion, no, he was quite happy before she came along, it was just that she somehow added something to it. Something else that was unexpected, but now wholly welcome. He could live with that. He was not weak in the sense that he needed  _love_ , it was just human enough of him to realize that maybe he just wanted it.

"JESUS FUCK!" Kairi screamed as she scrambled out of her chair, a loud crash following shortly after her exclamation. Sherlock jolted in surprise, the notion of peace severely disrupted as she bolted over and shoved him out of the way. Her phone clattered to the floor in the commotion as she completely emptied the previously consumed contents of her stomach.

"Damnit, I just rinsed those." Sherlock growled as Kairi wretched, she had enough agency to flip him off.

She was heaving breaths in and out, shaking and weak in the knees as she threw up, trying to force words out through the pauses in her stomach spasms, but it was a fruitless task. She waved her hand over towards where she was sitting and Sherlock rose an eyebrow and followed her gestures as she continued to heave.

He gave her a small pat on the back, to which she swatted at him for and so he walked towards where she was sitting and found her phone on the ground. He picked it up, tapping the screen to life, and felt his stomach tug as he watched the screen brighten. The scene before him was familiar, seedy and soundless with a sole camera set up on a stand, judging by the steadiness of the film. His frown deepened as he watched, with astounding clarity, The Sandman cutting his victim from her pubic bone up, into the Y formation usually reserved for autopsies, with gurgling sort of moans suddenly bubbling up through the haze of silence. He tried to focus on the small screen but was unable to see all of the details he wanted.

Sherlock glanced back up to Kairi, wanting to demand her computer and a moment of nervousness caught him dead in the chest. She was was leaning over the sink, finally halting her task of gagging, shaking fretfully with soft tears. He paused the video and placed it on the table, walking over to her slowly as she cried.

"Kairi…" Sherlock began and she seemed to jolt into action, reaching for the faucet to turn on water and wash away the evidence of her refuse. She took a moment to cup some water into her mouth and swish it around before spitting it back out and coughing slightly. "Are you all right?" He extended a hand, unsure of what to really do in the moment when she turned and threw herself into his arms, quaking like a scared child.

"No," she croaked, "No I'm not fucking all right. That son of a bitch just sent me his goddamn snuff film." Her voice was hoarse and shaky from her fear, "I'm so officially  _over_  psychopaths taking a shine to me, I can't even stand it."

This made Sherlock go stiff around her, a grim sort of cold seeping into his veins, "I-,"

Kairi looked up at him, her face looking freshly ruined from her bout of vomiting and she scowled at him, "You are  _not_  a psychopath, if you ever think I'm insinuating you are again, I  _will_  punch you." She growled, but he didn't look too convinced. She sighed and pushed him away, walking back over to where Sherlock left her phone and picking it up, " _This_  is a psychopath. He wants to  _hurt_  people. He wants people to  _suffer_." She slammed the phone down and walked back up to him and poked him in the chest, "You are not like  _him_." She accentuated this with a jab, "You are not like Moriarty." She poked him harder, "You are not like Moran." She finished with a shaky tone and glared up at him.

He stared down at her for a moment, in awe of her, completely in awe. How she, of all people, this kind hearted person who had suffered so much, tolerated him — it was astounding. A sudden warmth shot through his stomach when he realized just how many people in his life constantly surprised him, every single day. It wasn't that they were brilliant like him, but each of them had qualities that out shined every other person he had met. Molly, John, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, and of course, Kairi, all of them, for some strange reason, believed him worthy of their devotion.

And it terrified him.

He reached out to grab her, to pull her into a kiss, but she stopped him with a hand on his face, "No way, I just puked up everything in my stomach. Waffles, bacon, and coffee are delicious going down, but do not make that assumption for the way back up." She grimaced and pulled herself away, walking towards her bedroom to brush her teeth and Sherlock just stood there, gaping after her.

He glanced down and saw Toby, following his mistress with a concerned eye. When the dog looked back up at Sherlock, he tilted his head as if to question what Sherlock had done to make her so upset. Sherlock scoffed and made his way to the mobile, shaking off the brief moment of emotional instability. He opened up the text again and forwarded it to his own email and went searching for Kairi's laptop.

When Kairi came out of her bathroom after scouring her mouth of a few layers of epithelium cells and rinsing with mouthwash a dozen times, she saw Sherlock on her couch, watching the video. Upon her entrance, he immediately closed the computer and she sighed, walking over to him and sitting next to him.

"Don't worry, I'm not breaking down or anything, it just," she coughed, "surprised me. I wasn't ready for that, I thought it was some dumb promo from my mobile carrier or something."

Sherlock shook his head, "You don't need to watch it. It came from your cell phone and you wont be able to track it. I'll need to contact someone else."

Kairi sighed, "Well, it's not like I didn't already see the aftermath." She pointed to her computer, "That was most definitely the nurse, Lauren Shoehill."

Sherlock nodded and reopened the computer, "Yes, the second victim."

Kairi rolled her eyes at his impassivity and grabbed her phone from the other side of Sherlock. She investigated the message. It only contained the video itself and the number it was from — just ten numbers she didn't recognize. Even the configuration seemed strange. She frowned, "We will have to take this to Lestrade. I could probably trace the IP address, but he needs to know about it."

"Yes, well, looking at the message and the number, I would hazard to say it was most likely sent from some sort of burner phone." He muttered as he watched the video without sound, trying to pick up important movements that he may recognize. He would go back and watch it with sound later.

Kairi frowned as well, "He probably used some sort of application — one of those free text things. I had some college friends who used those when they didn't have unlimited texting. You can send texts over wifi but it always gives you this big jumble of numbers to reply to."

Sherlock nodded, "Very interesting." He paused to video on an innocuous frame and glanced at Kairi. She was staring down at her phone, not bothering to pay attention to the video and she was angry. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at him in absolute confusion, "What for?" She frowned, "Did you send this to me?"

"No, of course not, but -,"

"But nothing," she growled and stared back down at her phone, "you have nothing to apologize for. You didn't send it to me."

He shook his head, "However," he insisted, "I can only assume that you've come to the attention of the killer because of your interaction with me." He tried to keep his voice steady, but it faltered slightly near the end. He tried to keep his face stony and serious as Kairi looked up at him slowly, her frown still in place. "First the bomb and now this." He gestured to her phone and laptop.

She took her computer from his lap and set it on the table and tossed her phone to the side. She crawled into his lap, straddling him and effectively pinning him in place, "Don't you dare say that Sherlock," she hissed out in a pained voice, "please don't apologize for that, because if I am supposed to be mad at you because being in your life means being in  _your world_  then that means —," she faltered, her face fighting hard against the urge to crumble into tears, "—that means that what happened, with Moran, that's  _my_  fault." She finished in a harsh whisper, grasping the lapels of his housecoat.

"No!" Sherlock practically snarled, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him, "That was absolutely not your fault. Never say that. Ever."

Kairi winced at the anger in his voice, "See? See how much that hurts?" She leaned forward and kissed him earnestly, pulling back only an inch, "If you refuse blame me for a psychopath tearing apart our lives then I cannot and will not blame you for the same. You are not  _just_  your work Sherlock Holmes, you are so much more, especially to me."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for another kiss, holding her tightly against him, "I — I wan't to protect you."

Kairi chuckled against him, "Then protect me, but remember that I am my own person and quite capable of handing psychopaths."

He gave her a sad smile, "I'm sorry for that."

Kairi smiled and kissed him softly, "I know, you big goofy martyr. Fact is, being with you and in your world is not something I want to run from. I know exactly what I'm getting into Sherlock, I want to be with you. All of you — and that means accepting corpses and murder and mystery and probably being terrified for the rest of my natural life. As long as you're with me in it, I can handle that. I'm not some prop for mad villains to twirl their mustaches over, I'm a human being and I can handle myself."

He nodded, pressing his forehead against hers, "I know you are and I know that you can." He smiled slightly as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips, "I imagine most villains should be terrified of going up against you in the end."

She poked him in the gut softly, "They better be." She winked and gave him a smile, "I love you."

"And I, you." He gave her a soft sort of smile and pulled her back down for a heated kiss, one full of promises and hope, one that Sherlock wanted desperately to hold onto.

Kairi giggled, "Stop getting all worked up over a murder you nut, we've got to call Lestrade."

He nodded, "We may as well call Molly and John too."

Kairi grinned, "Of course! You need your pathologist and blogger."

He chuckled as a hand graced her hair, "That, I do."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> Hello all, I'm still in a bit of a cruddy place and I hope to get back on track soon. Probably another 2 weeks until the next update, unless I can get a lot of writing done :(
> 
> I'm sorry I'm delaying the story but things are just gumming up the brainworks right now and its annoying. Booooooooooo!
> 
> so things are happening and stuff is gonna start going down soon-ish... Not to fear, remember this is a GOOD ending story... :D Doesnt mean some shit cant go down, but we will be haappy. I hope.
> 
> Please let me know what you think. Please please please :D


	17. Chapter 17

Kairi and Sherlock shuffled into Scotland Yard, hand in hand with confused glares following them. Not many really understood how Kairi, the quiet, American, and downright awkward intern could fall in love with a man like Sherlock Holmes. Actually, most people could never really comprehend that Sherlock was capable of being with someone romantically — especially it  _not_ being John (they still had some hopefuls) — all he ever used to do was insult people who referenced the childish nature of love. Their relationship was something that sort of popped up on the radar and made everyone question their sanity. Kairi often times found it rather amusing.

However, there was a good section of people who seemed to acknowledge that whatever they did have, was something unique and chose to just keep quiet about it — no matter how odd it seemed to see Sherlock genuinely smile at anyone, much less a woman he was romantically involved with.

Kairi was first as she trotted to Lestrade's big office, excited to see her friend as she always was. She regretted that they had spent less time together after Sherlock's return, but in the end it was for the better — at least for now. Things were slightly awkward between the three of them, because of all that happened. But she wouldn't let it detract from the fact that she cared about both men and refused to let them go, unless it was their own desire. She cared greatly for Lestrade and what he had done for her was important and special. It may not have been what her and Sherlock have, but it didn't mean he was any less important. She wanted him in her life and she would accept whatever role he wanted to play.

She rapped her knuckles on the door frame and was delighted to see Lestrade look up, smiling wide around the half of a donut in his mouth. "Hello!" She sang.

He chewed and swallowed quickly, standing up and brushing his hands on his pants as he made his way over to her, "Morning sunshine, how are you?" He smiled and they embraced warmly. Lestrade noticed Sherlock coming in shortly after her and he nodded to the detective, "So I'm assuming I'm not lucky enough to be called out on a lunch date or something."

Kairi smiled in her rueful way, "No I'm afraid not. I've got some evidence for you. I received it sometime last night, after the party." She stepped back and pulled out her phone, handing it over to Lestrade.

His eyes widened as he flicked open her screen and saw the image there, one that was gruesome and dark, "Jesus, he sent you the snuff film this time? Why didn't you bring it in last night?!" Lestrade practically growled at her, more out of concern than actual disappointment.

Kairi blushed wildly, "I — um, we —,"

"We were busy having copious amounts of intercourse." Sherlock interjected.

"Sherlock!" Kairi rasped at him and Lestrade just guffawed.

"Jesus, I don't need to know that, all right?" Lestrade poked at Kairi, "But I'm not too bitter as I, myself was having a bit of a night off too." Kairi's eyes widened to saucers.

"You mean night  _getting_  off!" Kairi gasped and slapped at his shoulder, beginning to speak in her rapid-excited pace, "Who was it? Do you have a picture? I wanna seeeeeeee!" She tugged at his jacket as he pulled away and walked over to his desk to grab his phone.

"I'll have you know that it's none of your business who I decide to bed." He gave her a mischievous grin.

"You wench." She scowled at him playfully.

"Can we  _please_  get back to the murder?" Sherlock growled distastefully.

Lestrade turned slowly, grinning wide at the petulant detective, "Oh I see how it is, you can just flaunt about all the sex you two are having but when  _I_  feel like sharing, you think it's a bit too much, eh?"

"You know how he is, but you and I shall be getting a drink soon so we can talk about this." Kairi chuckled as Lestrade picked up his phone and dialed his IT specialist, then the realization seemed to explode in her mind, "JANINE!" She squealed and Lestrade turned to her, mid-sentence with his tech and gaped with a bright blush on his cheeks. He tried to recover, bless him, clearing his throat and continuing on with his conversation. Kairi just cackled for a moment before Lestrade shushed her and waved her off, signaling Sherlock to grab her arm and tug her out of his office to calm down.

"Honestly, can't you behave for more than two minutes?" Sherlock looked down at her, a playful glare on his features.

Kairi smiled wide, vibrating with excitement, "It worked! It worked! I was hoping they'd get together! She's  _gorgeous_."

Sherlock tried not to grin, "Should I be concerned about your proclivity for kissing Molly and being attracted to women?"

Kairi rose an eyebrow, "Why would it be concerning?"

He chuckled at her sardonic tone and leaned in, pressing his mouth to just below her ear for a quick nibble, "I do not intend to share."

Kairi felt her limbs start to buzz with excitement and arousal and she couldn't help the infectious giggle that bubbled from her throat. She slapped a hand over her mouth and Sherlock rolled his eyes at her and she just grinned back, "I wasn't asking you to."

He gave her a small smile and leaned down to kiss her but paused, his attention finally caught by the discreet sort of silence around Scotland Yard that meant they were being observed. He glanced around momentarily, glaring at a few people who were too idiotic not to stare until the comforting buzz of Scotland Yard built back up. He pecked her on the lips and shot up straight again, not long enough for a lasting memory, but Kairi smiled all the same, reaching her hand down to entwine it with his. A very small grin tickled at the corner of his mouth.

Lestrade leaned out of his doorway, clearing his throat and the blush just now starting to dim, "All right, come on in. IT will be taking your phone and they'll need to ask you some questions about the best way to track this guy. They're good, but we could always use more ideas."

Kairi nodded, "Of course." She turned to Sherlock, "How about you text John and set a time and place for dinner. We will probably be here a while."

Sherlock grinned, "Isn't this much more fun than wedding planning?"

Kairi rolled her eyes at him and followed Lestrade back into his office while they waited for IT and Sherlock pulled out his phone, elated to cancel on the soon to be newlyweds.

* * *

A few hours and some unfortunate news later, Sherlock, John, Kairi and Molly were all sitting at a table, discussing their day. Molly and John were significantly concerned about Kairi receiving the snuff film — a very vivid sentiment that John shared with her. Kairi assuaged their concerns by letting them know that her phone was being kept for if she was contacted again.

"I mean the worst part was phoning Mycroft to tell him about it." Kairi chuckled while sipping her wine, "I mean he had just about as much of a fit as one can have when they have no emotions. He actually sent someone down to disable all of the confidential aspects of my phone. Lestrade was none too pleased about that, but at least I got a fancier new phone out of the deal." She pulled out the glass and metal brick and showed it off.

Molly chuckled, "Trust you to have an optimistic outlook on someone sending a recording of a murder to your phone."

"All in a day's work dating Sherlock." Kairi shrugged, a large grin painted on her features as she flashed a glance to the nearby detective who glared at her, "So tell me Molly, are we going dress shopping for you finally?"

Molly blushed and glanced at John who chuckled, "Right, that's my cue to get some more drinks. Sherlock, come with." He waved and Sherlock frowned, glancing at Kairi in confusion.

"We're going to talk female things. You need estrogen to participate in our conversation." Kairi smiled.

He returned it with a frown, "Men also contain the hormone estrogen, so I have every right to stay here and listen."

Molly rolled her eyes, "It's a secret damnit, now go!"

Sherlock huffed and rose from his chair slowly, eyeing Molly with a bitter coldness. He took his time adjusting his jacket and buttoning the front before walking off with John who laughed and clapped him on the back.

"He can be so ridiculous sometimes." Molly chuckled, leaning in towards Kairi.

Kairi just grinned, "Of course he can. He's Sherlock Holmes!" She laughed, "So tell me, everything going okay?"

Molly nodded, her hands fidgeting around the stem of her wine glass, "Yes, I mean, it's all a bit overwhelming with table settings and color matching and food choices."

Kairi smiled at her friend who was obviously trying to not show her signs of stress, "You know that I can help you with all that. You just need to call me."

Molly sighed, "Well you've got enough on your plate as it is with Sherlock coming back and the way he handles things. I know he's rather impulsive and obsessive when it gets down to certain… _things_ ." She eyed Kairi carefully, who grinned behind the rim of her glass, "I didn't want  to be bothering you too much. I know work and home has been a bit overwhelming as of late."

Kairi frowned slightly, "Molly, nothing would stop me from wanting to help you, okay? Maybe I wont be able to do it right that second, but that doesn't mean I am not really invested in this, all right? I know how stressful this is for you, I want to be there. It's not just my duty as Maid of Honor, it's my absolute privilege as your best friend." She eyed Molly seriously, whose eyes were welling with unshed tears, her lips pursed to keep from smiling or sobbing, Kairi wasn't too sure. "And I'm claiming that title right now. Kairi — Best of Best Friends, with distinction."

Molly laughed this time, "With distinction?"

Kairi gave her a wry sort of grin, "Well I did practically fix you up with your current husband-to-be. I believe I'm deserving of some of that Honor in my title."

Molly just chuckled at her, unsure of what else to do. They sat quietly for a moment and Molly looked up at Kairi who was sipping her wine again, glancing back at the bar to see Sherlock and John in deep conversation.

"So, how are you? Really." Molly muttered and Kairi focused her attention on her friend again.

Kairi shrugged, "I'm all right, I guess." She glanced back at Molly who was unbelieving and sighed, "Things are complex, Molly. Not just with me and Sherlock, but also at work. Things are just busy and frantic and sometimes I feel spread thin over it all. Now, I get this video and it brings up all sorts of unpleasant memories and in all honesty, I'm just  _tired_. I've got yet another psychopath who has me on speed dial —  _I_ _'_ _m fucking fantastic_!" She waved her arms a bit and when she met Molly's eyes, they  were tinted with a bit of humor.

"Feel better?"

Kairi scowled at her, but it only held half the heat that she pretended to have, "Maybe." She crossed her arms petulantly.

Molly just chuckled, "Kairi, we've got this weird life we lead. You're in the middle of not just one, but TWO Holmes' brothers' lives. You don't need a pep talk or anything, but maybe you do need a break from it."

Kairi frowned, "But he just got back, why would I want to leave again?"

Molly smiled softly, "Maybe you two could make a trip of it together? Get a vacation away from the craziness. Just have time for each other."

Kairi considered it for a few seconds and then just laughed, "God, could you imagine Sherlock on a real vacation?"

Molly just chuckled, "Fully suited on a beach in Tahiti?"

"Sipping a virgin daiquiri with a straw hat on and glaring oppressively at the bartender who Sherlock deduced skims off the top of the register because of the way he buttons his shirt." Kairi laughed, "Well, I don't know what would work. I feel like maybe after I finish this Plutus job I can take a breather. Maybe go on holiday, with or without him. I haven't traveled in a while. It might be nice to run around a bit and be off the books. I always enjoyed that about the years before I settled down here. Running around, trying new things. Adventure."

Molly grinned, "It sounds quite lovely."

Kairi nodded, "It was and it wasn't. I wish I could say that I was just doing it to do it, to experience it, but I was running from something else then and it was lonely."

"Well, you aren't alone anymore and you've got many homes to come back to." Molly chuckled.

"Did you say homes or Holmes?" Kairi responded cheekily.

Molly rolled her eyes and smiled affectionately, "Well you'd be right either way. Mummy Holmes is expecting all of us for Christmas this year."

Kairi grinned, "Oh  _that_  will be an adventure!"

Kairi and Molly chuckled heartily at this, their humor enlivening the restaurant around them and making it seem like a much brighter place. It was only disrupted when someone laid a hand on Kairi's shoulder and she turned, honestly surprised.

Sherlock and John stood at the bar, awaiting the bartender to pay them some attention.

"So," John started, a bit nervously, "So, uh, how are things?"

Sherlock eyed him suspiciously for a moment, "To which things are you referring?"

John rolled his eyes, "You're so bloody difficult. I'm not good at personal talk anyway Sherlock, why do you have to go and be a git about it?"

Sherlock seemed amused by the outburst, "Well, it seems you're the one with things that are being difficult. Wedding problems?" He added sarcastically.

John scowled, "Not precisely," he cleared his throat and adjusted his stance at the bar, leaning over and looking worn, "I'm just not very good at all this — wedding planning. It's not that Molly is difficult, there's just so much to handle and neither of us really  _care_."

Sherlock narrowed his eyes, confusion lacing his tone, "So why bother?"

John looked up at him for a moment, "Why bother with what?"

It was Sherlock's turn to roll his eyes, "Why bother getting married at all?"

John scoffed, "Because I love her."

Sherlock scowled, "That's not adequate reasoning for doing something you dislike. I love Kairi and we are not married. The logic isn't sound."

John looked taken aback for a moment, "You l-love her?" Sherlock just scowled in response which of course meant John heard him properly, "Well, have you asked her about it?"

Sherlock froze, "Asked her about what?"

John tried not to smile, "About weddings and plans and, oh I don't know, your future together?"

Sherlock turned slightly, opening his mouth and unsure how to respond. Of course Kairi and he had minimally discussed weddings but it was never something that was in reference to their future. It was always a vague sort of conversation, either directly related to Molly and John or referring to what "other people" want out of it.

His mind was empty at the moment, unable to form a cogent thought. Was Kairi the type of person who  _wanted_  to be married and have children and grow old peacefully in the country? Like his parents? He felt his stomach roll at the idea — becoming his father who would lose his glasses every ten minutes and Kairi being his mother, with the constant nagging and tone of superiority. He blanched, "No, I don't believe we have discussed it."

John chuckled, "All right, well, just breathe first then." Sherlock exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding, "It's not that you have to be married to have a real relationship. Actually it can be the opposite for some people. I had to sit down with Molly and talk to her about it, see what she wanted out of life. I realized I wanted some of the same things really. Marriage, home, a family… Everyone is different though."

Sherlock gulped back the thoughts that were now racing through his mind: Kairi in a wedding dress, Kairi, pregnant and cooking waffles, and a very poignant memory struck him, shooting an abrupt pang through his nervous system. He vividly remembered Kairi when he first saw her after their separation, holding a dark-haired infant in her arms with errant curls and pale skin. The idea of the future grated against him, on every fiber of his being, and he was so very  _unsure_.

"Let's get back on track, shall we?" John cleared his throat, hoping to get Sherlock to bring himself out of his own mind before he ruined  _something_.

"Yes, of course." Sherlock coughed out as well. "There were some things that I needed to discuss with you in reference to my utility as Best Man."

John eyed him suspiciously, "Oh?"

Sherlock cleared his throat again, "It has come to my attention that other than my duty to make sure you show up at the right time and place for the wedding wearing clothes, I am also in charge of your last night as an unwed bachelor."

John frowned, "What does that mean exactly?"

Sherlock scowled, "I'm in charge of your bachelor party."

John blanched, "Oh — is — are you— yeah, uh…"

Sherlock's scowl deepened, "Isn't that a general duty of the Best Man?"

John could barely fathom the idea of Sherlock throwing a bachelor party, so he just shrugged.

"Well, as long as all my efforts unfold, it shall be a quite enjoyable night." Sherlock said, only half believing his words.

Both men sort of stared off into the distance for a moment before the bartender finally approached and John placed their order. They went back to a stony sort of silence, both far too much inside their own heads to carry a decent conversation. John, trying to imagine what the hell they could get into during a bachelor party thrown by Sherlock. Sherlock, trying to dispel the image of Kairi holding an infant in his mind and him actually feeling… well…

"Oi, you know that bloke talking to Molly and Kairi?" John finally intoned.

Sherlock shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked back over to their table where Kairi was conversing with a man standing at their table. Bright red hair atop his head. Sherlock fumed slightly.

-

"Henry?" Kairi muttered almost nervously, but mostly just shocked. Kairi turned in her chair as he stood next to her, smiling in his shy way and blushing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner, I just recognized your laugh and thought I'd come over and say hi." He finished his sentence with less security than he began it with, while looking down at Kairi who had an odd smile on her face.

"Well, hi!" Kairi tried to seem friendly, despite Henry's awkward reasoning, "This is my best friend Molly. Molly this is Henry an IT specialist."

Henry turned and nodded to Molly who reached out a hand, "Pleasure, so you work with Kairi?"

Henry nodded, "Yeah, I'm the head of IT at Plutus and she's consulting."

Molly nodded to Kairi and added a bit dramatically, "Ah yes, the consulting developer."

Kairi chuckled at the insinuation, "Oh, that's good."

"She's brilliant really, even better than the guy I got the job from at Plutus. That guy could practically program his way out of anything, but Kairi here is something else." Henry smiled at Kairi who was fighting the urge to blush.

"Thanks." She looked back up at Henry shyly.

Molly cleared her throat, the obvious doe-eyed look Henry was shooting Kairi was more than oppressive, "So, head of IT? That's an immense opportunity - especially for someone so young. What happened to the guy before you?" Molly smiled.

Henry sort of snapped to attention, remembering Molly was still present no doubt, and blushed, "He retired about a year and some ago. Fucked off to some beach somewhere and is living it up from what I hear." They shared a small laugh at that.

"So what are you doing here?" Kairi smiled, "I know you live in London, but this is the first time we've ran into each other. Do you live around Brentford?"

Henry seemed shocked for a second, as if he forgot, "Oh! No. I'm running some stuff over to Terrence. We had to work late on a few things and I told him I'd pick up dinner."

Kairi nodded, "That's very nice of you. Nothing wrong I hope?"

Henry shook his head, "No, just doing some routine maintenance with client history. Terrence likes to be part of it so he can keep everything under wraps. He's a bit of a control freak, that one."

Kairi nodded, "Don't I know it. Mycroft has his panties in such a wad most of the time he's unbearable." She smiled at Henry when he snickered, "Be glad you don't work for him."

Henry nodded, rocking back on his heels a bit, "I'm sure it's at least interesting."

Kairi and Molly chuckled knowingly, "At least." Kairi added.

He stood there for a few more awkward moments. Kairi and Molly both unsure of what to say or do. Technically they were on a double date, technically Henry had somewhere he should be, but he seemed to be insistent on chatting it up, while Kairi and Molly wanted to get back to their conversation without seeming outrageously rude.

"Mr. Givers." Sherlock muttered behind him and caused him to jump.

"Oh, Mr. Holmes, it's a pleasure to see you again!" Henry nodded, his face awash with excitement and fascination.

Sherlock grimaced slightly, "Yes, I would think so."

Henry gave him an odd sort of look and John stepped forward, reaching out a hand, "I'm Doctor John Watson."

Henry's face lit up like a child at Christmas time, "Wow!  _The_ John Watson! What a treat!"

John chuckled at that, "Yes, well sometimes." He gave Henry a wink and then walked over to his seat next to Molly.

"So do you guys have a case then?" Henry watched Sherlock move over to Kairi and sit next to her, reaching an arm around her shoulders.

Kairi looked at Sherlock, out right indignation on her face — he was never one to be publicly affectionate on purpose. John and Molly were simply along for the ride, watching attentively as Sherlock seemed to bristle at the young man's mere presence.

"That would be confidential." Sherlock muttered condescendingly.

Kairi laughed at him, "Since when are your cases confidential? Dragging about an IT specialist and an Army doctor and palming evidence?"

John sputtered into his drink and Sherlock scowled at her, "That depends on the severity of the case and whether or not the police are out of their intellectual-puddle of perceptive depth."

" _Which is always_." John added in a mocking voice which caused everyone, even Henry to snigger.

Sherlock scoffed, "How is it that the police are not the ones being mocked here? They are insufferably inadequate."

Kairi scoffed in response, laying a gentle hand on his thigh, "Will you relax? He's just interested in your current case."

Sherlock slumped slightly, John was grinning ear to ear. "It's an ongoing investigation with Scotland Yard and it shouldn't be discussed."

Henry nodded, "Wow. So  _ongoing_? That means you haven't caught the killer yet have you?"

Sherlock bristled at the implication, John's teasing grin was threatening an almost painful expanse. Instead of lashing out at his blogger or his girlfriend who was holding back laughter, he glared back at Henry, "How do you know I'm searching for a killer?"

Henry stiffened, "I just — you're — uh — cases are always so high-profile… I just assumed —,"

Molly raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you always?"

Sherlock huffed his response, barely allowed to be pleased for the moment he made Henry uncomfortable, "No." He pulled his arm from around Kairi and crossed them before his chest.

"Yes." John added softly and Kairi giggled.

Henry shifted nervously, "Well, I wont ask anymore questions if you're uncomfortable with that. I was just curious. Sorry." He turned more towards Kairi who was watching Sherlock closely, "Will I be seeing you at the NSPCC charity ball in a few weeks?"

Kairi finally shifted to look back up at Henry, "Oh! Uh, no, I wont be attending." She reached over and grabbed Sherlock's stiff fingers as he unwound himself, he was obviously upset and she felt a little guilty about how they teased him so, "We've got a wedding that weekend."

Henry blanched, his gaze flickering to Kairi's hand holding Sherlock's, "Oh! So you — I didn't realize — sorry — congratulations!" He smiled a little hesitantly.

"Wha —," Kairi started, frowning, and then realizing what she had implied, "Oh, god no! Not  _us._ " She almost shouted, pointing at Sherlock and herself, causing everyone to stare at her, a bright red flushing up on her cheeks. She glanced at Sherlock whose face was completely stony and impassive, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She cleared her throat and looked away, feeling horrible for reacting so violently to oppose Henry's assumption and she didn't quite know why, "No, it's Molly and John's wedding!" She corrected with a nervous smile.

"Oh," Henry sounded relieved which made Sherlock glare at him again, but he was busy nodding to Molly and John, "that's lovely, congrats."

Molly gave him a small smile, a little more than uncomfortable for the moment, "Yes, thank you."

Henry finally cleared his throat while he shuffled his feet, "I should be going, sorry to interrupt your dinner. Have a lovely weekend, yeah?"

Kairi nodded, "Sure, you too." She finished half heartedly. She glanced back at the surrounding table, everyone obviously uncomfortable with the direction the night took. Kairi had a sinking feeling in her gut, one that only heightened by the way Sherlock removed his hand from hers the second Henry turned to leave. She glanced at Molly pleadingly and Molly just shrugged, unsure of how to even remotely address what just happened.

Sherlock picked up his menu with a flourish and began to inspect it, everyone else followed suit. Kairi sighed and picked up her menu, staring aimlessly at the words printed beneath plastic, but not reading a single thing.

Why had she reacted that way when Henry implied Kairi and Sherlock would be getting married? She wasn't exactly opposed to the idea — perhaps just the pomp and circumstance that surrounded it in certain circles. She loved Sherlock, deeply, but was he marriage material? Did he  _want_  to be marriage material? Was that something she was looking for already?

She wasn't old by any means, but the idea of marrying  _anyone_  made her feel so… _matronly_. She kept this absurd notion to herself, seeing as how Molly and John would be married soon. She didn't think Molly would be matronly or old now that she had settled down with John, but for Kairi, it just felt so  _odd_. She still felt like the freshly graduated student, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and running from adulthood as fast as her stupid legs could carry her. Upon meeting Sherlock and John and Molly, it all  whirled around in her head, just how untrue her previous life had been. Now, she was settling in, making friends, having  _relationships._  Thinking on it more, would Sherlock ever really  _settle_? Did she even want him to?

All of these thoughts seemed to flood her mind and it was becoming oppressive. She reached out and grabbed her wine glass, downing the rest of it in a large gulp, ignoring everyone's curious glances. She stood sharply and excused herself, muttering to Molly about sharing a dish and wandered outside to have a cigarette.

She grappled for her cigarette case and lighter.  _The future_. Something she had never really planned for. She  was supposed to think about it and do things and make effort to keep it all from becoming tiresome. She was supposed to want to lay out plans and think of flowers and babies but she was having trouble at the moment. What was it that she really wanted?

As she inhaled on her cigarette, the delicious sort of buzz rolled through her limbs and brought some clarity to her thoughts. She loved Sherlock very much. Very, very much. She knew that in reality she could survive without him, be happy even, but she wanted to be with him. She adored him, no matter how testy he could be. She admired him, even if he could, on occasion, be slightly back-handed or deceitful. He never went around actually trying to hurt people unless they deserved it. He wasn't truly violent and not entirely ill-mannered. He was strong and smart and interesting and was almost painfully loyal to the few people he trusted. He made her equally happy and frustrated on some days, but she could always talk to him and learn from him.

There were always reasons to walk away from someone, but with Sherlock, she felt as if she'd be turning away from the sun. She didn't want a boring life, she didn't want normalcy, she just wanted Sherlock and whatever that entailed.

Looking back on the way he stared at her after she contradicted Henry made her stomach sink. Had she hurt his feelings? Was  _he_  thinking about marriage?

She stubbed out her cigarette and returned to the restaurant amidst the murmurs of the crowd all wholly consumed in their own lives. She sat back down in her seat and the waiter came by to take everyone's order.

She was practically vibrating with unease, her brain fuzzy and her chest tightening. She hated all of this, suddenly things just  _changed_  and she wasn't incompetent, she could adapt. She could handle change, but  _this_?

She almost jumped when a hand reached out underneath the table, long spindly fingers spread across the top of her thigh and a gentle thumb brushed across it. For a moment she was stunned, but she let her eyes travel up the arm, connected to her detective. He wasn't looking at her, but he had a small smile on his lips, barely perceptible, but the effort to do so and to touch her was flooded with meaning.

In this moment, it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me even though I am horribly uninspired and still going through a bit of a rut. Things have been tough, moreso internally than externally. I'm still pushing myself to write, so I apologize if its starting to get super weak :( I dont want to go on hiatus because I have no idea if I'll come back to it. I'm still devoted to my characters and the fandom, but I feel distinctly uninspired. blaaaaaaaaaaaah
> 
> I still have everything mapped out, I still know exactly where its going. So the story itself is not dead or lacking - its literally just me. I feel like I cant focus and its making just about EVERYTHING difficult. I feel like once I reach a certain chapter I may be more excited about writing the "meat" of the story. The beginnings of the major plot arch and such. I sometimes bore myself with the inbetween scenes... I mean there's important stuff in them, but the main conflict is always the most exciting to write!
> 
> Anyway, I apologize if my writing is suffering. You can be honest. If you think its too weak, let me know and maybe I'll be smart and take a hiatus until i feel more inspired to finish. It makes me sad to think of doing that, but I don't want to be disappointing to you guys either!
> 
> I'm posting early because this weekend will be terribly busy! So please enjoy! Two weeks will still probably be my posting schedule unless I get lucky and can burn through the rest of my chapters. If that happens, I'll probably just dump them all on you.
> 
> Please leave me reviews. I could honestly use some encouragement!!!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature things ahead :D

Kairi stripped off her coat as she stepped inside her home after taking Toby for a walk. Thankfully, Terrence had called off their meeting today, as he was tending to his mother in the hospital after some sort of fit — something he felt comfortable sharing with Kairi it seemed, and it made her slightly uneasy. Though it tugged at her greatly that he was going through something so akin to her own torment, she did her best to remain positive and supportive, instead of delving into depression. She wanted to be there for him, but not over step boundaries. Terrence was horribly nice and it was almost painfully unfortunate how awfully pretty he was. She didn't want any more problems erupting in her personal life, but she also didn't want him to feel alone. He had lost a lot of his family already and she knew that sort of sadness. Befriending him was no sin, finding him aesthetically pleasing was also acceptable, being supportive and kind, these were all things that she could do, but betraying Sherlock's trust — especially emotionally — was something she was horrified of. As long as she remained amicable without being flirtatious she would be fine. It's not as if she has had a lot of experience in being remotely flirtatious, but she needed to be wary when being a decent human being so often became blurred with sexual invitation. She had decided to take Toby on a lengthy walk to clear her mind.

The last few days had been oppressive to say the least. She had been running around between Terrence's home and Plutus Inc. in the heart of London. Going back and forth between the two was difficult, but traveling so often, sometimes hours out of town each day, was starting to wear on her. At least she was traveling in style, either carpooling with Terrence and Henry in one of Terrence's magnanimous vehicles or hitching a ride with Mycroft in the city. She couldn't complain that life had its little comforts.

She let her thoughts stray for a moment when she thought of Mycroft. The man was as unyielding as stone — though she could barely make that metaphor since he seemed to be even more resilient than that. He always appeared unfazed by the chaos that shrouded his secret organization and being intimately involved in some of his day to day functions made Kairi appreciate that he was who he was. She admired him, but she'd never tell Sherlock that.  _Ever_. He was a decent man and funny when he wanted to be — he had a way of arching an eye brow or staring at someone patronizingly that made him seem like he almost had a sense of humor. He appeared to have little time for personal attachment, but Kairi thought that he liked her. He hadn't killed her yet, so that had to mean something.

She got distracted from her tirade of Mycroft-centric thoughts by the absolutely chilling music that was coming from upstairs. She threw all non-essential belongings on her table and ran to her room to change into something more comfortable, a simple wrap around sweater dress with buttons down the side, plus her trusty slippers, before practically sprinting up the stairs taking two at a time, which was quite a stretch for her stumpy legs. If she had an opportunity to listen to Sherlock play the violin, she'd pounce on it like Gollum on The Ring.

There was nothing so beautiful as watching an artist at work. Even harried, disjointed talent had a sort of symphony to it. A good comparison would be watching Sherlock doing his deductive work. It was usually explosive, erratic, but somehow blending back into something uniquely beautiful and cohesive. It was surprising, difficult to really follow when you were an outsider, but in the end it all sort of ended up woven together in this lovely little tapestry of observations. He was blunt when he worked that way, always a little bit scathing and grumpy, but it was still amazing to behold. He had no time to waste, his untethered mind going at full speed while he was solving a case, almost like watching neural synapses connecting and forming cogent thoughts right in that exact second. It was jarring.

The opposite end of the spectrum was watching Sherlock play the violin. How that man was so mutable always seemed to amaze her! He could go from cold and distant, to warm and enlivening so quickly it could cause whiplash. She had known him a decent amount of time to understand how he was — that was an interesting fact about him: once he let a person in, they were in and had little choice in the matter unless one fucked it all up somehow. His changeability was one of the things that made him so great. He was diverse and different and always interesting.

Watching him play the violin, it was positively erotic. He was all smooth lines and fluid movements, accentuated by the haunting music that seemed to just exude from his pores. When you watched him play, he seemed to transcend all earthly wants and needs and everything was just a symphony of senses. The way his eyes closed so delicately, as his hands glided across strings, it was like watching the stars move across the night sky: peaceful and so humbling. He was marvelously talented, his fingers perfectly dexterous from years of practice, his frame unyielding to the stress of holding his instrument perfectly in place. It was an out of body experience to watch him flow through a piece of music that was meant to be almost impossible to perform. Though his face remained mostly impassive, there were always tiny ticks in his physical performance, the slightest frown or the purse of his lips that seemed to resonate with the notes he was playing. Kairi was thrilled to watch him at it again, it had been some time since she'd enjoyed that experience to its fullest.

As she reached the top step, she hopped over the creaky board and thrust herself through the always unlocked door to 221B and froze.

Kairi gaped at the scene.

Sherlock and John were standing impossibly close within the confines of the living area, all furniture pushed aside. John was standing with his arm slightly extended, hand in hand and chest to chest with Sherlock, his other hand positioned on Sherlock's waist. His lips were a thin line, his eyes wide in horror and a slow blush was creeping up his neck. Sherlock was standing at his full height, graceful as ever, one hand in John's and the other resting upon John's shoulder, lying comfortably against John's relaxed frame. He stared at Kairi, glaring at her slightly, seeming unmoving and undaunted by her presence — except of course for the tiniest muscle spasm in his jaw to show his unease.

They stood in a silent stillness, all staring at each other while violin music played heartily in the background. Kairi couldn't stop her smile from widening further and further through the silence as she discreetly pulled out her phone and let it rest at her side.

"HA!" Kairi screeched pointing at them with her other hand and unable to say anything else.

The boys practically jumped apart and Sherlock raced over to his stereo to stop the music from playing. Straightening and standing stiff, far away from John, who began pacing slightly, unsure of what he could do in the moment to dispel his unease.

The silence that ensued was positively inelegant.

"HAAAA!" Kairi screeched, now shaking her finger at them and practically jumping up and down as Sherlock approached her.

"I was —," Sherlock began.

"We were just -," John sputtered out.

"You were  _dancing_!" Kairi squealed with glee. She grabbed Sherlock by his shirt collar and pulled him in for a short kiss, frowning slightly as she pulled away, "And I wasn't invited?"

Sherlock's eyes widened in the moment, obviously keen on something. He grinned — which was always slightly unnerving — and grabbed her arm, tugging her at his side until they stood next to John, still utterly flummoxed.

"Dance with her." Sherlock shoved Kairi at John, who thankfully caught her as she stumbled over her slippers.

"What?" Kairi and John both muttered staring back at Sherlock.

" _Dance._ " He intoned, flitting his hands at them, "With  _each other_." Sherlock spat, rummaging around his flat for a moment in search of his violin. "Kairi is Molly's height, John. It will be easier to learn how to lead someone closer to your partner's body ratio —," Sherlock paused, staring back at Kairi and John who were still standing with their arms around one another, "however, Kairi's body proportions are variant to your lovely fiancé," he chuckled, "Kairi's breasts are larger and therefore more appealing…" he began, seeming like he would be tallying off her finest points.

"Sherlock!" Kairi hissed and then blushed vibrantly, taking a step away from John and trying to covertly cover herself.

"Christ!" John spat wiping a slow hand down his face, "You know, people do have different tastes you prick."

Kairi frowned and glared at John for a moment, "What I'm not your type? What's wrong with my breasts?"

John blushed this time, his speech coming out in halted spatters for a second before he finally steeled his lips and shot Kairi a cross look, "I just so  _happen_  to be an ass man, myself."

Kairi's joking glare crumbled quickly and she couldn't help but giggle at how riled he got, "Well, Molly does have a fantastic ass."

John sighed, utterly relieved that  _that_  conversation was now over and he finally chuckled, "Yes, she does."

Sherlock rolled his eyes, throwing his whole body into the ordeal, "If you two are  _quite_  finished…"

Kairi just laughed at his impertinence and turned to John with a wide grin, holding out her arms, "All right then Dr. Watson, show me what you've got!"

John shot her a lopsided grin in his dashing way and reached out a hand, "I don't know," he seemed coy, "what if I ruin you for all other men?"

"I highly doubt it." Sherlock interjected as an aside — but with a tad too much venom in his voice — and Kairi just laughed.

"Very well, ruin me." She smiled, stepping forward to take John's hand and they adjusted their stance.

Sherlock approached slowly, sizing up Kairi and John standing together. Her short bob seemed to bounce with her hearty laughs, holding John so close and tenderly. He admired her for that, how open she was to almost everything — especially when it came down to helping people. He continued to circle them, tapping on John and Kairi's hands with his bow to place them in a proper closed position. "This is the waltz, not some mangy night club grinding." He grumbled.

"All right grandpa, calm your tits." Kairi muttered and John let out a giggle that surprised all of them. He was never one to actually giggle — but it was rather adorable.

Kairi was still trying not to laugh at John's outburst while Sherlock shot them both a menacing glare. "Proceeding." He almost snarled and his hand shot out, flicking Kairi across her backside so she would square her hips to John's, she responded with a yelp and much less snickering. "Now, the waltz is a complex dance -,"

"I thought you just swing about the floor -," She began sarcastically.

Sherlock shot Kairi a disproving look and she shut up for the moment, giggling again with John over Sherlock's surly attitude. "As I was saying," he emphasized with a whip of his bow, "the waltz is a complex dance. Basic figures usually carry one step per beat, three steps per measure. The song  _I_  am composing -,"

"You're composing?" Kairi interrupted, excitement obvious on her features.

Sherlock cleared his throat, trying to ignore the look of childish delight pulling at her features, and shot her a cold stare that indicated he refused to be interrupted further. She would have almost taken it seriously aside from the tiniest blush rising on his cheeks, "The song I am composing is a standard waltz, artistically complex, however delicate enough to measure out a decent beat for even the most paltry lead."

"Hey-," John spat, but Sherlock continued, as if he hadn't spoken.

"Now, usually, advanced dancers will couple four to six steps per measure, the addition of turns and dips is often —,"

"Sherlock…" John pleaded, sounding like he was in positive agony over the subject, "I don't have the skill for anything fancy. Just help me not look like an idiot on my wedding day."

Sherlock scoffed, obviously disappointed and Kairi grinned. His enthusiasm for the movement and the music was absolutely endearing. When he saw her smiling wide at him, he adjusted his pose, seeming indifferent and continued.

"Very well, just practice what I have taught you then. One step per beat." He raised his violin to his shoulder and nodded to Kairi and John and began to play.

Kairi did her best to be patient with John. He was decent enough, but she did have to shuffle here and there to keep from getting her toes stepped on. He was adorable though, whispering funny little things in her ear about the times he lived with Sherlock and he'd walked in on him playing the violin in various stages of dress. It could be any hour of the night that he would play, but it would always be beautiful.

The adoration John showed to Sherlock was amazing. Even John could recognize the absurd beauty of Sherlock Holmes, probably  _especially_  John. On top of all of the things they had been through together, the poor man had suffered through living with Sherlock for so many years. He still somehow loved the tempestuous detective and it was wonderful. A relationship built upon mutual understanding, need for companionship, an odd sort of affection, and of course, solving crime.

While they spun slowly in each other's arms, Kairi could barely keep her eyes off of Sherlock. His entire body moved with the music, his arms perfectly braced and his hands fluid as they glided to and fro. His fingers played across the strings like a ballerina across the stage, graceful and tragic all at the same time. It was numbing and inspiring to watch just how effortlessly he played. It made you feel so insignificant, like staring out into galaxies, but then one would just feel so supremely special just to be able to sit there and have each note lap along their senses.

As they moved, John began to improve. He was more fluid with each step and less nervous — his hand no longer gripped Kairi's hip as if it were a lifeline, but sat relaxed, sliding to her back. She would see Sherlock peek out through thick lashes every few measures to observe them, an impertinent sort of sneer would rise on his face before closing his eyes and losing himself in the music all over again. It was hard to focus on John at all and to be honest that's probably why she kept getting stepped on.

Kairi grinned at John who was focusing intently on their steps now, trying to feel the music, to move his body easily, but he floundered very slightly. Kairi snickered, smiling encouragingly at John, who seemed a bit unnerved. She squeezed his hand and winked and he blushed with a nervous laughter.

Their moment was broken by Sherlock's shout "No! No! No!" accompanied by a screeching from his violin that causing both Kairi and John to bolt apart and cover their ears. "Stop!" He growled again and placed his violin on the nearest surface. "Your timing is atrocious!" He spat at John and Kairi, who cringed, "Your footwork is ghastly and your frame is pathetic!" He directed this just at John this time, "Dear God man! How did anyone ever trust you inside of an operating room!?"

John was slowly turning red, brimming up to the tops of his ears as he scowled at Sherlock, "I'm  _quite_  good with my hands, you lanky piss pot!"

"He really is…" Kairi muttered a little too knowingly. Probably all those saucy talks she had with Molly all the time bubbling up in her memory.

The crack it caused between the two feuding friends was instantaneous. John scoffed and Sherlock just scowled. Kairi smiled wide, hoping to keep Sherlock from lunging at her.

His features shifted, a disdainful smile creeped onto Sherlock's lips and made Kairi's blood run cold, "Allow me the  _pleasure_  of demonstrating how dancing with your woman is  _supposed_  to look." He walked past John, shooting him a cold glare as he shooed him. John simply shrugged and walked over to the stereo and turned on new music.

"Grant me the pleasure?" Sherlock said stonily to Kairi and extended his hand as the music began to play.

Kairi tried not to grimace as she reached out her hand, ever so slowly. When she placed her fingers in Sherlock's grip, his own hand curled around hers and he tugged her sharply into his arms. With a huff of air, she collided with his chest and he stared down at her, haughty and patronizing with a single blink. She tried to shy away from him, but his other hand curled around the small of her back and pulled her in tighter, pressing her hips flush against his and causing a slight stirring in her gut.

He pushed one of his legs in between her thighs, adjusting them slightly and raising his arms while squaring his shoulders. Kairi followed suit, easily pulling herself into frame so that they stood cohesively, a poised fluidity in the way he held her.

When the beat to the music reached the appropriate measure, Sherlock took his first step, his hips pressing into Kairi's and leading her first and following steps. His long strides were difficult for Kairi to follow at first, but once they started moving, she was able to easily keep up.

"You're quite a good dancer." She muttered with a teasing grin on her lips as he turned them to the beat.

Sherlock's lip twitched in a small smile, "I've always loved dancing, however the opportunity for my talent to flourish and be implemented has yet to arise during a case."

Kairi grinned widely at him, disbelieving, "Well, let's see, you somehow managed to dress up as a clown, a cab driver, an arab assassin, a gypsy, get yourself addicted to drugs, then there was that security man, and, oh! Let's not forget a clergyman — how is it that  _dancing_  has yet to come up?" She beamed up at him and he seemed almost displeased that she remembered the stories of previous cases so vividly — some even from before he and John became friends. "I'm sure you could have tried to fit in a strip-o-gram or a stag party at some point. God, that'd be brilliant to see, wouldn't it? You and John as male strippers." She paused for a moment, deep in thought for a few seconds and then she laughed, "Yes! The blog title would be  _The Doctor and The Inspector!_ " She giggled, "It sounds like a bad porno movie."

Sherlock cleared his throat, "Yes, well, I think  _that_  media disaster should remain avoided."

Kairi chuckled dryly, "Well, I guess."

"Now then Kairi, that you're warmed up and accustomed to a proper lead," he shot John a cold sneer and John scoffed, "would you bestow me the honor of a true waltz?" He had the tiniest grin on the corner of his lips, one that she knew meant he was hiding something up his sleeves.

Kairi pursed her lips, giving him an unaffected sort of glance, "You're welcome to try and ruin me for all other men."

He smiled mischievously, "And women?"

Kairi rolled her eyes, "No promises, but I'd like to see you try."

With that, Sherlock grinned wide and tightened up his frame, pulling Kairi closer, and then they were off.

Much to Sherlock's amusement, Kairi began to pick up the footwork rather quickly. He began to intersperse turns and elongated steps, adding in a tiny bit of difficult footwork he had learned growing up.

He couldn't help feeling a little thrilled at the way she felt in his arms. He was surprised by her gracefulness and how quickly her demeanor adapted to their dance. She had the demeanor of classic beauty that seemed be lost among the common populace: full lips framed by high cheekbones and wide, honest eyes. She was striking and so moldable in his grasp as they turned about the flat that it almost took his breath away. He had to admit it was a wonderful feeling to dance with her.

Kairi of course, was lost in the moment. The music playing seemed to cocoon around them. She spent the entire time watching Sherlock as they moved, never letting her eyes break from his and she had to admit that she was truly mesmerized. He was an absolutely spectacular dancer and a terrific lead. She didn't have a lot of experience with classical dance, but she'd had enough nights out spent salsa dancing or swinging around with partners to big band music in college to know how to follow a decent lead. His command and presence was enough to give her something to follow, but his hips pressed up against hers and his feet gliding across the floor almost seemed to possess her. Each flexing arm lead hers to bend, each wide step of his gave her foot a path to follow. Her back would arch through the dips and her shoulders were strong through the turns. She was his marionette and it felt divine.

He began to slow their movements, engaging in a simpler series of steps as they slowed and Kairi finally was able to find her voice.

"That was…" She began, but paused when he stopped them abruptly.

"John…" Sherlock rumbled, his eyes never leaving Kairi's.

John was rendered speechless during their dance, so graceful and intimate he felt like an interloper. Now that attention had been called back to him, he cleared his throat and shifted, "Yeah?"

Sherlock was still as stone, his grip still tight on Kairi as he stared down at her, watching her breaths deepen as he observed her, "Leave. Now."

John scoffed, "What? I've still got thirty minutes -,"

"Now." Sherlock insisted coldly.

John simply smirked, watching the two practically eye fucking each other to Brahms over the speakers, it was completely indelicate and completely unlike Sherlock. So of course he couldn't resist the teasing, "Now wait just a minute, you promised me an hour for this lesson and I've still got half of it to go."

Now it was Kairi who spoke and her voice was eerily calm when she directed it at John, "John," she began, her tone low and even, "get the fuck out or so help me God I'm going to post the photo I took of you two dancing on every single social network I know to exist with the hashtag  _Johnlock_  — I hope you remember what happened when I showed you some of that. Do you want to relive it?"

John's eyes practically bugged out of his head and he stood abruptly, watching them stare at each other and waiting desperately for his absence, "Uhhhmmmmmmmm no." He gathered up his things quickly and then paused at the door, turning about face to see them still standing there, their hold on each other shifting from tense to outright desperate.

"What?" Sherlock snarled at him, his eyes flicking to John at the door what seemed like for the first time since they started dancing.

He tried not to smile in response, "I leave now and you promise to keep this, uh, fiasco between just us?"

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Pinky promise! Now fuck off!"

John just laughed as he rounded on the door and made his way out of 221B with a goofy grin on his face, shaking his head at the suddenness of Sherlock Holmes engaging in human behavior and the petite brunette who pulled it out of him.

"Pinky promise?" Sherlock mocked her as the door swung shut.

"Can it." She growled, shooting her arms up around his shoulders and yanking his lips down to hers.

He responded in turn, a growl deep in his chest as he surged forward and wrapped his arms around her frame. They held each other close, kissing ferociously as all of their pent up lust began to bubble to the surface, like two teenagers tasked with keeping the Holy Ghost between them, despite their raging hormones at a high school dance. Luckily, there was no etherial shade betwixt them, as there was barely any space at all left when Sherlock's hands dropped to her backside and squeezed, lifting her up effortlessly. She took the cue to wrap her legs around his waist as they deepened the kiss. Her skirt hiked up, leaving her backside bare except for her underthings.

Another growl escaped Sherlock's lips while his hands trailed up the smooth expanse of her thighs, allowing his finger tips to dig into the soft flesh of her backside while she groaned into his mouth.

A fire shot through him then and he lowered them clumsily to the floor, hands and knees clamoring about the hardwood to lay her down on her back. Not sparing a moment, he lowered himself on top of her. He leaned up slightly, his hands trailing up her sides and then yanking at the top layer of her dress and tugging it out of his way. His mouth descended upon her chest, kissing across her sternum and across the swell of her breasts, biting against the thin material that ensconced them. Her nipple puckered beneath the attention of his teeth and tongue and he was delighted by the gasp that seemed to ripple through her as he bit down a little more than gently. Her hands were in his hair, fingernails scraping across his scalp and she moaned gently while arching her back to meet his mouth.

A slow hand snaked down between them and he began rubbing circles through the damp underwear between her thighs, relishing in the heat that bathed his fingertips. She rolled her hips against him, more soft sighs and gasps for air escaping her plump lips, inciting within him some sort of furious rebellion of his mental faculties.

Another groan pulled itself from his lips as his fingers moved her underwear to the side and he slowly tested her, his fingers enveloped by a warm, wet heat. She gasped against him again, his curling fingers making her thighs shake around him as his mouth continued its assault upon her breasts.

He enjoyed the feeling of her tightness around his finger, pulsing muscles and slick heat gliding around his small, curling thrusts that seemed to drive her into madness.

She was gasping, a blubbering sort of noise escaping her lips when he bit down again on her nipple, moving his other hand to grip her breast tightly, almost claiming ownership of the flesh within his grasp.

She keened again and he abandoned her swiftly, causing her to shudder as she relaxed against the floor, her entire body buzzing with desire. He did not take his time undoing his pants, yanking at his belt and practically ripping the zipper before pushing them down his thighs. Kairi smiled up at him while she reached down and wriggled one leg out of her underwear just in time before he slapped her hand away and laid himself against her without preamble. She had the audacity to giggle lightly before he positioned himself at her entrance, teasing her slightly while rubbing the head of his shaft against her clit.

She yelped, pleased by his roughness, as he pushed into her swiftly with a deep and adoring groan. They curled around each other almost instantaneously, Sherlock's mouth against her neck, his hot breath and anxious lips attacking the skin there as his hips pumped himself inside of her with a luscious wickedness.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, tilting her entrance so that his thrust met her end. He groaned again, his speed and ruthlessness increasing as he held her firmly in place, one arm wrapped around her lower back, grasping at her clothes and the other gripping her shoulders, holding her tightly against him. His fingertips dug into flesh, wishing to sink inside of her completely and clothes were long forgotten and far too unimportant to remove at this moment while he lost himself, ripping pleading gasps from her lips.

He never could quite get used to the grip she had on him. Those seemingly timeless minutes where absolute need clouded every fiber of his being and pleasure spiked through his nervous system. She was consuming and addicting, the scent of her, the touch of her, everything he deemed important, his logic, his intelligence, seemed to simply shut down to focus completely on her and it was maddening. She pulled something so primal from him and he didn't dare resist it any longer, he wanted to spend every waking moment, flesh against flesh, allowing himself to feel — if only for her.

When times called for sensuous, slow moments, he would greedily devour hours while inside of her if she desired it. But in this moment, it was all frantic and spastic and desperate. Limbs and hands grappled for purchase, trying to pull the other closer, hold them harder.

It was a speechless moment, the snapping of hips, the sounds of gasps as skin collided with skin, heat devouring heat, were all symphonic to the music playing in the background and enlivening their desperation to something fierce and timeless.

Kairi's cries seemed to lengthen with the crescendo of the music, he could feel her trembling around his length, the beginning of her orgasm apparent in the way her hands gripped at him with a sensuous strength and her muscles all seemed to tense as he held her still and pounded into her with uncontrolled thrusts.

A yell tore through her, pulling with it a sharp orgasm that seemed to elongate with each forceful thrust that he pushed into her. Her wetness gushed against him and he bit his lip as he burrowed his face into the soft skin of her neck, inhaling her and absorbing the cries from the very thrusts that were pulling them both apart.

With ragged breaths and a stunted groan, Sherlock came while Kairi shook around him again, her legs clasping around him tighter, her ankles locking at the small of his back, and holding him deep, her back arching up to meet him and holding still as she crumbled around him through a choked sort of sob.

He groaned with her, tiny pulses in his hips, a movement of their own accord, as they both began to calm from the hazy pleasure that now replaced the desperation in their veins.

His fingertips gripped her still, unwilling to let go, his eyes were still closed and relishing in sensation while her hands snaked beneath his shirt, desperate to touch his skin with her fingertips while she littered kisses across his shoulder and neck.

They stayed that way for a while, until Sherlock began to soften and he needed to remove himself from her embrace. He finally opened his eyes and his body began to relax, he fingers finally unlocked from their grip on her, finally able to let her go from the force of his grasp and he braced himself above her, staring down at her content features, with gently closed eyes and the softest, sweetest smile on her swollen lips.

"Are you all right?" He whispered and she only smiled wider.

"Social cues, Sherlock," She muttered softly as he began to pull from her, they both grimaced. "I'm smiling and if you cant tell, still quite within the throes of bliss, so shut your silly mouth and hold me."

He grinned softly and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers gently, "As you wish."

She couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up from her diaphragm and Sherlock didn't bother trying to stop her as he chuckled along, laying down with her, and placing soft kisses along her jaw and neck.

They stayed that way for a while, giggling and half clothed on the ground of 221B, kissing each other gently through their smiles.

Eventually they showered.

Eventually they ate something, pleased grins and blushes on cheeks when they glanced at the spot where their previous encounter occurred in harried need.

Eventually, they received the phone call from Lestrade.

Another body had been found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN
> 
> HELLO! Hope you enjoyed this lovely little fluff bit. We are getting back to the case again which I am obviously excited about. We have less than 10 chapters left I think. And its gonna get intense, but never fear :D
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I'm still a bit fuzzy minded but there is every possibility some issues snuck through, so if you see any call me out! enjoy enjoy!


	19. Chapter 19

The Musical Museum at Kew Bridge wasn't an enormously imposing building. It didn't have too many floors, nor was it gaudy in its design. It stood on High Street, not quite off the beaten path in Brentford, at its nondescript design refused to make it stand out if you didn't know to look for it. It was a modest sort of size for a museum that held the history of the finest self playing instruments in the world. It wasn't precisely a huge tourist spot, but for any music lover, it was a genuine place of interest.

As Sherlock walked through the halls, rife with musical history and instruments from the time before the advent of recording devices, he was filled with a very sharp sense of fascination. There was very little sentimentality within him, but music definitely held a decent sized chunk. He had grown up surrounded by music — one of the only entertainment medias that his mother vivaciously approved of — and he felt almost bitter, as if this place was now profaned by the body he was summoned to investigate. It was an odd sensation for him.

He had left Kairi in her home, albeit a little sullenly, to come to the newest scene that Lestrade had assured him belonged to The Sandman. He had rung up John, it being a few hours after his dance lesson and asked for his assistance, knowing better than to try to drag a post-coitus satiated Kairi from her dwelling after she had showered and got comfortable. So the infamous pair walked through the silent halls, closed for the past few months due to renovations required on a building that was soon to be fifty years old.

Everything had that stale sort of smell. Due to its fiftieth anniversary, no life had been passing through the halls for a few weeks now as they handled the restyling of the old museum. The grand re-opening would hopefully not be forestalled because of a desiccating corpse. At least that seemed to be the attitude of the now nervous owner who was talking with some police officers.

As they approached the scene, the smell of putrid flesh struck both John and Sherlock so abruptly it caused them to falter. For a moment, Sherlock was happy that he did not bring Kairi to this particular scene. As hardy as she pretended to be, the smell wafting through the enclosed space would be too much for her rather delicate sensibilities. He also had no desire to push the visage and the olfactory knowledge of a decomposing murder victim into her already jaded mind. The stench of a corpse was offensive enough, but this, this was the foul sort of fetor that crept into your bones and stayed there for a few days. This was not the smell of a fresh corpse.

This caused Sherlock some pause in his thoughts.

Lestrade brought them into the scene where the smell of decomposition was painfully odious, so much so that even John's skin went a little pale. Sherlock charged into the room as he was wont to do and he actually stopped short.

The body of a woman was lying in the center of the room, pegged down with railroad spikes and sliced up the center just like all of the previous victims. The organs were arranged in The Sandman's usual patterns, artfully and precise, though they had all started to wither from their time spent outside their intended vessel.

Above the victim was the display for the Mighty Wurlitzer, a fully restored theater organ attached to a grand piano. One of few still fully functional. It was a grand sort of vision, the body lying beneath the elegance of one of the most impressive hand crafted musical instruments, as if to pay homage to the delicacy and intricacy of its majesty.

However, in this case there was one oddity, despite the exact replication of The Sandman's crime scenes, the body was already a few days into decomposition. The longest they had ever found a corpse from The Sandman had been close to ten hours.

This was  _new_.

Something was changing.

"How long?" Sherlock snapped at Lestrade, whose eyes went wide at the ferocity of Sherlock's tone and he was actually shocked into a moment of silence.

Lestrade shrugged a little lamely, "We were saving it for you."

John shuffled up, finally accustomed to the corpse's presence and began to poke around. After a few minutes of John and Sherlock's examination, they squared towards each other with a serious sort of look, "Well, rigor has passed."

Sherlock frowned gazing down at the body, "Putrefaction is taking place. The body is passed the stages of pooling blood and waxy skin. It's already somewhat bloated despite the thoracic and abdominal cavities being essentially emptied." Sherlock knelt down and pulled out his magnifying glass and began to inspect the open gut, closing in on an almost invisibly small larvae, "Blowfly larvae, already edging into the third instar." He glances over to John with a raised eyebrow, "Why so late? The Sandman usually prefers to have us find the body in the initial stages of decay."

"My best guess, I'd say it's about 36 - 48 hours old. Renovator found her and called it in." Lestrade muttered.

"Yes," Sherlock snarked, "Thank you for giving us information we have already determined."

Lestrade bristled, but John intervened, "Identification?"

Lestrade shook his head at Sherlock's ire, "Not yet, but we are working on it. Missing persons will start combing through possible victims, but we need some basics here. We know it's The Sandman, she's been piked and gutted and all those glorious things," he spat with disdain, "but it usually doesn't take us this long to find him and it's starting to make me worried."

Sherlock glared at Lestrade, "Yes, obviously."

"Listen —," Lestrade growled.

"Boys," John snapped, "This is obviously getting to everyone, but this is not the time."

Sherlock stood to his full height, frustration bubbling within him, "Why, John?  _Why_  would he wait for the body to be discovered? Usually he sends us a very distinct message." Sherlock paced further from the body, knowing better than to disturb the scene. "Why is that? Why would he delay his gratification? Why delay us his artistry?"

John scowled, "Three to four days ago was Saturday. They wouldn't be renovating on a weekend would they?"

Lestrade nodded, "Most likely not, but I'll check with the proprietor."

"Something came up. Something stopped him from notifying the authorities or someone stumbled upon his work." Sherlock closed his eyes and began to think.

"Well, maybe he has a day-to-day job. Maybe something that would require him to be on call?" John questioned.

Sherlock shook his head, "It's a possibility. As well-educated as he is, he must find funding someway for his extracurricular activities."

John scoffed darkly, "So something big enough had to pull him away from his usual procedure?"

Sherlock scowled, "It also lends us to less evidence now that the body is putrefying."

"Was this on purpose? Are we getting too close?" Lestrade intoned.

Sherlock frowned, "No." He turned sharply away from Lestrade and John and delved into his mind palace. He was thinking back to the weekend, realizing that he was not far from the scene in question while having dinner with Kairi, Molly, and John. A sort of static charge went up his arms, thinking about how close he was to the actual killer. His own predatory edge beginning to creep up to the surface of his mind in a bitter sort of rage over this simple fact. He was missing  _something_  and it was gnawing at him.

The retired officer, the head nurse, and now this woman. He didn't seem to have a pattern towards gender and none of the victims knew each other, except of course for the possibility of this victim who was still unidentified. He doubted it though, The Sandman had a strict sort of schedule: priorities for victims and their disembowlment.

The Sandman was now officially a serial killer.

"He's hit three now." Sherlock frowned while he paced, his fingers tapping out a rhythm on his lips between each step he took.

"An official ruling." John muttered sadly. "Wait a minute, if something went wrong, he got pulled away from whatever this all is, does that mean he's got a video for this or not?"

Lestrade frowned, "Let me call evidence and see if Kairi's old phone has gotten anything." He pulled out his own mobile and walked out into the hallway for the short call.

Sherlock felt himself begin to seethe when he heard John speak up, "We still have no idea who this is."

"I know that." Sherlock replied in a hiss. He closed his eyes again and began pacing, "We will have to wait for Molly."

"Right." John muttered and pulled out his own phone and rang her up.

That moment, Sherlock's own mobile began to ring and he pulled it out of his pocket and spotted Kairi's name on the read out. His gut clenched as he swiped to answer the call and brought it to his ear. "Kairi." He stated tentatively.

"Sherlock…" Her voice sounded thick and trembled slightly.

"He's sent you another one, didn't he?" He strode from the crime scene, pushing past John and Lestrade who watched his steps lengthen and speed up. John nodded to Lestrade and took off after him. No one wanted a repeat of last year, they kept solid tabs on each other these days.

He heard Kairi's soft sob, "Yes."

Sherlock bristled, an ugly sort of rage swirled in his gut as he made his way outside and found a cab with John nipping at his heels. "I'll be there momentarily. Did you watch it?"

Kairi sniffled, "No, I didn't."

Sherlock sighed, "Good, don't." He hopped into the cab and John followed. He glanced to John who looked nervous and Sherlock nodded to him. John seemed to crumble with a restrained despair. "We're twenty minutes away. We will be there as soon as we can."

"Okay." Kairi muttered softly, her tears finally breaking through. "Why Sherlock, why me? How did he get my number again?"

Sherlock held in his growl. He was utterly inept at containing his emotions when it came to Kairi. "I don't know but I will uncover who is terrorizing you."

She chuckled a little bitterly, a sad sniffle tainting her words, "That would be awfully kind of you."

He gave her a small laugh, "I promise to protect you Kairi." His voice was soft, unsure because John was in the car with them.

Kairi let out a ragged sigh, "I know you will."

When they arrived at Kairi's home, Sherlock let himself in, the phone still to his ear, unwilling to hang up with her through their lengthy drive to their home.

"Where are you?" Sherlock said loud enough so that it echoed through the receiver. John remained at the door, not sure if he would be welcome at the moment.

"I'll come out." She muttered softly and hung up the phone.

Sherlock heard the sound of her closet opening and the soft padded foot falls of her bare feet accompanied by the soft clatter of nails on the floor by her side. He strode towards her bedroom and met her as she came out the door, wiping a long sleeve across her nose as she looked up at him.

The tears began to fall again. Sherlock reached out to pull her close, wrapping arms around her and trying his best to be unabashed by John's presence and his deliberate public display. She seemed so small in his arms, curling into him through her sniffles. Once again, a molten wrath pooled beneath his skin and Sherlock wanted nothing more than to be the one to show The Sandman the benefits of his morbid technique. He gripped Kairi again, his fingers curling in her oversized sweater, fingers brushing along the nape of her neck to supply some sort of affirmation.

"Perhaps you should call Dr. Sherman." Sherlock whispered in her ear, his hand reaching down to his pocket and pulling out his phone for her to use. Wordlessly, she swapped out her phone for his and retreated to her bedroom, closing the door. Sherlock watched her slumped form move through the room, sitting on her bed and hugging a pillow against her as she dialed a familiar number.

He turned sharply, his breathing finally becoming unhinged as he began pacing in her front room, an anger so sharp and severe clung to his insides, burrowing deep within his mind and lacing itself with a sordid sort of heat that curled to his fingertips.

"Sherlock…" John started softly.

Sherlock barely acknowledged him, his mind racing as he grasped at facts that began swirling in his mind.

"Sherlock, look at me." John commanded.

Sherlock paused and glared at him, gritting teeth and a harsh breath slipping past his lips, "What?"

John sighed, "You don't function like this. You need to calm down."

Sherlock's frown deepened, his features morphing into something positively demonic, "I am calm."

John shook his head softly, "You need to take a deep breath and refocus. You can't shoot off on this one. You need to be controlled, you need to be precise." He paused, noticing that Sherlock was bristling for a scathing response, "For her, Sherlock. You need to keep it together for her. This isn't like the last time. This isn't Moran."

Sherlock blinked, his demeanor shifting as he shook his head sharply, trying to disengage the swelling panic rising in his chest, "I -,"

John nodded, "Focus Sherlock. We need facts."

Sherlock nodded slowly, "We need to know who the victim is."

John nodded, "Go upstairs while she does a session with Dr. Sherman. Watch it. Figure it out."

Sherlock nodded and pushed past John to go into his home and think.

John sighed and weaved his way into the kitchen, preparing some of the paltry tea Kairi kept for guests. He tried his best to remain unaffected, to be unshakeable in this moment. He couldn't say he understood Kairi's fear and Sherlock's rage, but he could feel it, he could almost taste it, it was so thick in the room.

He disliked this aspect of the job, seeing Sherlock ruffled, seeing him shaken. It was terrifying to see what he believed to be such a constant in a state of flux. He glanced towards Kairi's room, she sat in semi-darkness, wrapped around her pillow and crying into the phone with Dr. Sherman, looking so hopeless.

He wanted to believe that Kairi and Sherlock could survive all this, but he was afraid. He was afraid of what would eventually break them. It was unfair to subject people to a life-like this — normal people. With Kairi and Sherlock already so unsteady because of their past experiences, it just seemed like pouring salt in the wound to watch them be together. But he thought on it, he watched them and he saw how genuinely they felt for one another. Perhaps it was unfair and cruel to suffer so much, but perhaps, they did share something together that made it worthwhile, that made the pain bearable. That was not something he ever wanted to watch come apart.

He sat at the table, tea in hand and stared at the wood, lost to the world around him for a very long time. He had decided to stay, to be supportive to Kairi while Sherlock began to pull into himself and go into investigative mode. It seemed, with these impending sort of threats, that Molly would be needed for Kairi at this moment. It wouldn't be terribly inconvenient, Molly and Kairi did have just a bit left for wedding plan finalization. Perhaps they would be able to pull together and put their agitation to a good use.

His thoughts came to a stop when Kairi's door opened and she walked out, looking absolutely drained, but far better than when they arrived.

"Hello John." Kairi muttered softly.

"Hello Kairi, I made you the tea you like and I found your whiskey inside an oven mitt by the kettle." He smiled and she chuckled.

"Heather knew I wouldn't look in there. I barely ever make tea except when Molly comes around." She padded to the kitchen and prepared a cup, pouring a decent sized dollop of whiskey into her cup with a sigh. "Molly says I don't make tea right. I can't tell the damn difference, but she usually insists on making it herself."

John laughed at that. Kairi made a slow path to sit at the table next to him and sighed, staring down at her cup as if it contained all the answers to the questions swirling in her mind.

"Do you want to talk about it?" John said, a little unsure as he sipped his tea.

Kairi's lip twitched in a lopsided smile, "The corpse?"

John shook his head sharply, "Absolutely not. I'm talking about whatever it is that is bothering you — outside the corpse — that's an odd statement I never thought I'd say."

Kairi's grin stretched wider, "I'm just scared."

John nodded, "That's all right. If you weren't scared, I'd be worried."

Kairi glanced at him finally, her finger still tracing absently on the cup, "Is it always like this?"

John smiled at her, "Yes, it usually is."

Kairi nodded and stared back at her cup, biting her lip, "I love him, you know. I just fear that I'm holding him back. I don't want to have this target on my back. I don't want to be the bullet hole or the knife wound or the broken corpse that finally kills Sherlock Holmes." Her voice was soft and tinny, it sounded empty to John's ears and he sighed. He knew that sort of pain.

"That's not your decision, really." John began softly, "I mean, you can leave if you want, you can break up with Sherlock and walk away from this life, but it wont stop him loving you. Instead of this impending doom and you believing you'll be killed — which I don't think either of you are willing to let happen — instead of that image breaking Sherlock Holmes, it'd be your back, slowly disappearing into the distance." Kairi shot him a sharp look, one of hurt and sadness, "It would break Sherlock so much more knowing that you are choosing to walk away from him." He cleared his throat, "I dare say, he'd be even more empty than when I first met him. I don't think you would like to see him like that, would you?"

Kairi gulped down her tears, a quivering lip her only response before she shook her head.

"I'm not trying to guilt you Kairi, if you _don't_ want to be with him, that your business, you and him. But if you leave simply because you believe you are a weakness, you won't be doing any of us any favors." He admitted, his voice a little too cold for his liking, but he needed to get the point across. "You  _saw_  what Sherlock is like when he dives into that emotionless sort of madness that can consume him. Kairi, the people that he loves, they are not a weakness, they are sometimes Sherlock's best attribute. He  _needs_  us. Just like, for whatever reason, we need him."

Kairi crumbled then, her features dissolving behind her mask of tears, "I love him John, I am just afraid of all of this. Of corpses and madmen and murder, but I'm also just so fucking terrified of loving him like I do. I feel like it could shatter me if I let it. It's so strong, but it's so fucking delicate. It's horrible."

John reached out a slow hand and placed it on the one gripping her cup, "I know it is, but that's what love is. When you love someone like you love Sherlock, or how I love Molly, it seems like stone and smoke all at the same time. It's so real and yet so intangible."

Kairi nodded, choking back her tears and trying to speak calmly, "I just can't bear to think of him getting hurt again because of me."

John rubbed her hand softly, he had become accustomed to showing Kairi small amounts of affection while Sherlock had been away. She had become important to him and not just as Sherlock's girlfriend or Molly's best friend, but as his own friend, as a deeply wonderful person. "Sherlock will get hurt, we all will. We cannot predict the future, we cannot adjust for every single possible tragedy that may fall on us. We just have each other and each day that passes. What do you want to do? Do you want to be afraid and run away or do you want to love someone who desperately needs alignment in his life?"

At that moment Sherlock strode through the door and Kairi jumped up and ran at him, colliding with him and wrapping her arms around his body and holding him tightly, her eyes closed and just breathing in his presence. It was dangerous, loving Sherlock Holmes, but not for the reasons one might think. She cared for him so very deeply, it seemed that fear could not win out. She wanted to be with him and she would be. As long as he kept her.

"Are you all right?" Sherlock said tightly and Kairi finally released her grip.

She glanced up at him, her eyes sad while she smiled half-heartedly, "I will be."

His hand traced up her jaw slowly, cradling her face in his fingertips, "I'm glad." He said softly, "I'm sorry—,"

"No!" Kairi said sharply and John couldn't help but smile, "You don't be sorry for another person's depravity. You just catch the asshole, all right?"

Sherlock gave her a small grin and leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I intend to."

John stood slowly, turning his back on them for a moment while they shared their own twisted experience while he went to the sink and rinsed out his cup. He grabbed another one for Sherlock and poured out the remaining tea, adding up his ingredients to his specifications. He placed it back on the table and turned back to see them holding one another.

He cleared his throat softly to remind them of his presence, lest they do something embarrassing for all three of them, "I'll take off. Contact me tomorrow about the case Sherlock and take the phone into Lestrade."

Sherlock and Kairi pulled away from one another slowly. Sherlock directed a nod at John, "I will."

"Goodnight Kairi." John nodded to her and she smiled.

"Goodnight John, and thank you." She replied. He gave her a quick quirk of his lips and then made his way around them and out of the flat.

When the door closed, Kairi sighed heavily, "I think I'd like to sleep for a week. Will you join me?"

Sherlock nodded and she began to walk towards her room, he followed, slowly peeling off his layers of clothing, "I will at least attempt to do so."

Kairi shot him a soft grin over her shoulder as he unbuttoned his shirt and her smile widened, "How about that bath?"

Sherlock paused his disrobement, "You want to bathe right now?"

Kairi chuckled sharply, "No, I'm talking about the city in England —  _yes,_ I want to bathe right now and I'm extending you an invitation dammit."

Sherlock grinned and returned to his previous task while Kairi rolled her eyes and detoured into her bathroom to get the water started. He hung his clothing with care in her closet, finally getting into the habit of putting some of his things in Kairi's home while she did the same to his. When he strung up his pants, he padded over to her bathroom, barefoot and in boxer briefs as he strode into her bathroom, she glanced up at him from her seat on the side of the tub and just smiled.

"Oh!" Kairi shouted as Toby tried to shove past, using the full force of his elated brute strength to make his way into the bath tub with Kairi.

Sherlock reached down and grasped his collar quickly, Toby turned his head back in shock and stared at Sherlock with what looked like lost and betrayed eyes. "Just us tonight, I'm afraid." He smiled at the dog who still seemed forlorn. Sherlock tugged softly on his collar and redirected Toby out of the bathroom, closing the door to incensed sort of huffs at the crack of space near the floor.

Kairi chuckled softly, "I told you so."

"I didn't  _not_  believe you." He retorted sharply and she snorted at him as she began to undress. He climbed into the tub first and reached out a hand to help her in and she smirked at him. He rolled his eyes, "If you don't want me to behave like a gentleman then I don't have to. I'm doing this for  _your_  benefit not mine."

They sat together and got comfortable, Kairi leaning back against him in the hot water, their slick limbs entangling, "Well it is to your benefit. If you treat me like an asshole then I won't want to stick around."

"Oh, is that the secret?" He added nonchalantly and Kairi giggled at him.

"You're adorable." She smiled and kissed the arm that wrapped around her.

"Yes, I believe I am." She rolled her eyes at his response and he couldn't help but smile. He did love her, it was painfully obvious now that he had finally admitted it. It wasn't about attraction or attachment sometimes, it was just how severely she made him feel. It was simple to shut off when he wasn't near her, but being close to her drove him to madness some days. Some small remnant of his bitterness still wanted to be angry about that fact, but more and more Sherlock was learning to cope with the alien notion of emotions. He realized that feeling was not always such a weakness.

These thoughts dredged up the past weekend and his discussion with John and Kairi's reaction to the implication. He wanted to understand. "What are your thoughts on marriage?"

She froze in his arms, absolutely still, "What?"

Sherlock sighed, "I'm not proposing if that's what you're worried about. As much as the notion disgusts me, I recognize that you are a romantic person and would probably be upset with my lack of effort." He spat out and she still sat frozen in his arms, "I am asking because I discussed marriage with John. He was telling me about how difficult it all was — wedding planning and such — I asked him  _why_  he was doing it and he said it is because he loved Molly. That marriage was something that some people want." He paused and she seemed to relax a little against him and he continued, "Ergo, because of my  _affection_  —," He stated this snidely and Kairi looked up at him purely lacking amusement, " _fine_ , because of my love for you," he stated that just as snidely but Kairi snorted in response, "I wish to understand your thoughts on this…" He gulped back the tendril of fear curling up from his gut, "On our future."

"Oh." Kairi stated simply, "Oh. The future." She turned slightly, looking a little lost, "I've not much planned for the future Sherlock. I'm not really used to that idea — planning ahead."

Sherlock nodded, "Yes, I'm aware."

Kairi continued, "Well, it's not that I haven't thought about it — marriage, kids, picket fence and all that —," he frowned at her so she explained, "American dream and all that, ignore it. Fact is, it's always something that I wanted, but I was never sure I was going to get." She gave him a pleading sort of shrug.

Sherlock inhaled tightly, "Why become attached to something if you can't know you'll have it."

Kairi nodded, "Yeah, basically. I mean, I had those fancies growing up. Meeting the right person, falling in love, you know — wait you don't know." She chuckled and he smiled, while she continued on a sadder vein, "But when my dad died, I don't know, I shut off. It was hard to want anything after that."

Sherlock sat up slowly, "And do you still feel, unattached?"

Kairi shrugged and gave him an unsure smile, "Not unattached Sherlock, but maybe a little confused. I know that I love you, but I'm paranoid about planning for the future. I love you and I definitely want to be with you, but that's a big concept for me — permanence — I am working on it. I mean that."

Sherlock nodded, "Well, I will admit that I have conflicting opinions on the matter. Like you, I have not had much need for making plans. When I was growing up, I had little need for personal attachment and even less of a need for romantic association. I used to never want it and I'm not sure if I'll desire it with anyone else. It does not seem worth much to really try and discover it either. I care for you, unbeknownst to how really," She socked him softly for that, "but I do. I feel no need to profess my feelings for you in front of the world. I do not believe that it makes it any more or less real to either of us. I understand the legal implications of marriage, especially when in reference to progeny, however, legality is no reason to eschew our personal opinions on the matter."

Kairi smiled at him widely, "I love when you talk like a computer."

He frowned at her in distaste, "I am merely trying to represent my thoughts on the matter."

Kairi nodded, "Well I understand." She turned and leaned back against him again, "My feeling Sherlock is that I love you and I want to be with you. I am devoted and that won't change barring some sort of emotional dissonance either you or I suffer from. You are special to me. You aren't replaceable. I am an emotional creature, I'm not afraid to admit that," he poked her in the side sharply and she chuckled, "what I'm trying to say is that, I'll take you as long as you'll have me."

"And," He gulped back the tremor in his voice, "family?"

Kairi shrugged, "What do you think?"

Sherlock sighed unevenly, "I don't have the slightest idea. When I saw you with William, and I thought just for a moment —," He paused and swallowed again, she rubbed his arms gently, her skin gliding across his and pulling warmth back to him, "For a moment, I thought he could have been ours."

Kairi bit her lip softly, "And?"

Sherlock tightened his arms around her, "At first, believing that I had missed your pregnancy, the birth, and then however many months," he sighed, "it  _stung_." He was quiet for a while and Kairi didn't push him further, "I never believed that I would have children, except of course to further the Holmes family name — but even then, I wasn't quite taken by the idea of having a relationship and a marriage. It's honestly a bit…" He didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"Terrifying?" Kairi chuckled weakly.

Sherlock nodded, "I am barely decent around the humans I deal with on a daily basis — and thinking of my interactions with family — I doubt I could be a decent father."

Kairi turned and looked at him, a severity to her eyes she hadn't had before, "You don't think you could be a good father?"

Sherlock stared back at her, unsure how to answer. The blankness of his mind terrified him.

"You love me right?" Kairi asked and he nodded, still looking quite vulnerable in his state of emotional shock. "So you admit that you are capable of love, yes?"

He frowned at her, "With you yes, but I cannot be sure that would translate to another human being, even if it did come from our genetics."

Kairi nodded, "Sure, I can understand that. I fear it too. Whether I could possibly love someone enough to willingly take their life into my own hands until they can do it themselves. Could I ever deserve that much power?"

Sherlock nodded slowly, "So you are unsure as well?"

Kairi shrugged, "It's a big deal Sherlock. It's important to think about that kind of thing." She glanced at him sadly, "I think I would like kids one day, but if you absolutely didn't want them, I think it's best to know that now, don't you?"

Sherlock sighed, "Yes, I understand what you mean." He took to his thinking stance and tried to recall the sharp sort of emotions that he felt upon seeing Kairi holding an infant he thought was his own. He could clearly envision her holding the child close, her slender arms wrapped around him, cradling his soft form against her chest. He tried to think about Kairi sitting with her nieces, her sitting in their possible home with older children, playing games and laughing and talking to them about inane things. He tried to envision himself there, sitting with them, smiling and cheerful to be on the receiving ends of their affectionate touches and warm expressions. He didn't think images like this would ever grace his thoughts. He definitely didn't think he could feel  _proud_  about that possibility. "I think it's… possible. Children do have a unique ability to observe and learn."

Kairi chuckled, "Well, any hypothetical children in our hypothetical future are not allowed to be science  _or_  social experiments."

"Well, when you take all the fun from it, child rearing sounds dreary." He rolled his eyes.

Kairi laughed and then the silence stretched on, both of their thoughts swirling. They sat in the tub, affectionate and comfortable but deeply rooted in the confessions recently uttered. They did have a lot to think about, to discuss, to possibly plan for and neither of them were really sure what to make of it. All in all, they still felt  _good_  and that's what really mattered.

"Well,  _that_  was interesting." Kairi let out a soft chuckle into the silence and Sherlock responded with a low rumble in his chest, full of amusement.

Sherlock nodded, "I have to agree."

Kairi bit her lower lip while leaning back against him, "But not right now, we don't have to worry about all of that right this minute. We've just gotten back together, I think it's wise to be flexible at this point."

Sherlock nodded, leaning his head down to rest on top of hers, "I concur."

"Good." She smiled wide, adjusting her position and reaching her hands slowly behind her back, dragging along his thighs, "Doesn't mean we can't keep practicing though."

Sherlock groaned when her fingertips brushed along his length, "Yes, well, I would believe that would be the best course of action. I'm an avid proponent of being exceptional in any given field of study."

Kairi snorted, "Yeah, okay." She muttered softly before dissolving into sighs and sensation when his fingers trailed beneath the water and brushed between her thighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *maniacal laughter*
> 
> Man I feel like its been ages since I updated. I've been sick lately and dealing with some stress, so I'm sorry for my continued and lengthy absences. I do hope you'll let me know what you're thinking. I'm still getting notifications for follows and favorites (for some reason I wasn't getting them at all before!!) and I cannot tell you how much that means to me. Truly. You being here and reading my words - man, it just makes me so happy. Which is hard to come by these days. I'm going to try and put myself on a schedule, to see if I can actually get through this. At the end of august, I'll have a bit more free time and hopefully I can get through the rest of this story. We do have the crux of the conflict approaching, but not before some hilarity. Not to mention I will be attempting to write up the Hooper/Watson wedding which I totally hope I don't completely destroy.
> 
> If there's something that you WANT to see happen at the wedding, I'd love to hear it. This story is just as much as it is for you as it is for myself. I definitely have ideas, but in the end, I know you all have thoughts on it. So lay them on me!! 
> 
> Thank you again for being part of this with me. I love hearing about your reactions and thoughts. Thank you for allowing me an opportunity to make you feel (even if you slightly hate me for it).


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not ashamed to admit that this entire chapter was just for shits and giggles. Back to our regularly scheduled emotional torment in the next few weeks :D Also adult bits at the end of this chapter (if for some reason you aren't into reading smut.)

 

The amount of bass that was currently buzzing its way down John Watson's spine was something that seemed ironically comforting. He was never a club type man, always insisting that it was far too busy for his sensibilities, but tonight, he had to admit, he was having one hell of a time.

The night originally started out horrendously awkward — which really was no surprise when one's stag party consists of a consulting detective, an actual detective chief inspector, a retired army doctor/blogger, and one of the most important figureheads of the british government. All of them, out of a sense of affection, duty, or both, were semi-willingly getting sloshed as scantily clad go-go dancers served them varying amounts of alcohol in a different assortment of bars.

At first, the alcohol was generally consumed in order to stave off the painful sort of silence that exists between men who sometimes barely like each other. However, what began with desperation, eventually sort of dissolved into general amiability. Lestrade, of course was the most genial of the group, trying in vain to converse with the Holmes brothers despite their almost dizzying levels of animosity. John was second to him of course, somehow able to calm the virulent glares the brothers' kept shooting at one another — especially now that the alcohol had really started flowing.

At first there were some beers, all amounts ingeniously calculated to achieve the most stable level of coherent intoxication for each attending stag member. This was approximately monitored by an application Kairi and Molly whipped up for their respective bar crawls. Next, there had been some sneaky subterfuge on the side of Lestrade and John, unable to bear the absolute stiffness of the Holmes brothers, who had flat-out refused to speak to each other after one of them brought up some childish affair from their past. Lestrade and John had taken it upon themselves and started ordering things like boilermakers to speed up the jovial processes and get the party going. Luckily, the Holmes brothers were not only woefully inept at social constructs such as getting smashed, but they also didn't pick up on John and Lestrade's evil plan because their refined palates couldn't differentiate between shit beer and spiked beer.

They were currently at their third bar, the theme of which was still rather unclear to John, but Sherlock had insisted it held some sort of inane significance. At this point, John was a little bleary eyed and ready for a nap. Lestrade seemed to have the giggles. Sherlock had become some sort of raging diva (but John would admit that Sherlock was already quite a prima donna in the first place). Then, of course, there was Mycroft, who had a cheerful smile on his face, which was probably the most concerning of them all. They all sat in a dilapidated booth at the back corner, far enough away from the sad dance floor of the current bar, sipping on their augmented drinks and mumbling on about random topics. Eventually amicable debate ended up in furious tirades over said mundane subjects. In a fit of silence, John finally looked around himself, one eye open, the other eye squinting, and wondered aloud.

"Sherlock, where in the hell are we actually?" John hiccupped.

"This is the bar symbolizing your relationship with Lestrade." Sherlock grumbled, attempting to fold a paper napkin into some sort of sad-looking, lopsided bird-like thing.

"I've never been here before." Lestrade intoned, looking at John and shrugging with one shoulder. "Have we?" He looked around suspiciously, as if his memory was altered.

"How is this place significant to me and Lestrade?" John shouted and held back a burp, the whiskey and beer edging up inside his stomach, "It's kind of a shit hole."

"Oi, thanks!" Lestrade hissed and swung a hand at John, but missed terribly.

"What is it that those fairy tales all say? Beauty is fleeting?" Sherlock looked up from his depressed paper crane and up at the cheap spinning lights on the ceiling, momentarily distracted like a cat gazing after a laser pointer. There was an odd sort of awe in his eyes as he gazed after the spinning lights, as if the universe were revealing something profoundly poignant through patters on the cracked ceiling.

"It's what's on the inside that matters?" Mycroft muttered, dreamily.

"Adorable." John exaggerated this with a shrug and a gasp, Mycroft simply sniffed hard out his nose and took another sip of his drink.

Sherlock nodded, waving a hand at Mycroft as if he said something important, "Yes'm, that, but erm, the opposite."

Lestrade frowned, the corners of his mouth drooping sharply as he stared off in the distance, "It's whats on the  _out_ side that counts?" He finally spoke, fearing a tongue lashing by the detective or his brother.

"Yes!" Sherlock shouted, throwing his hands up in the air, elated and grinning at the inspector, "Yes, quite!"

John just giggled again, "But it's a shit hole out there too."

Sherlock frowned deeply in response, swaying slightly as his hand reached out for his drink but didn't quite grasp it on the first or even the third try, "It's not a  _shit hole_. Its named Gavin's and that's important, because that's his name and he's your friend."

Lestrade stared, seconds ticking away until he understood the meaning of Sherlock's words. With gusto, he gave a full body sigh at this, his arms flailing out as if throwing in the towel, "I give the fuck up!" He shouted and then with great dexterity for his BAC, he lashed out at Sherlock, grabbing the tired looking paper bird out of his hand and crumpling it into a ball that he then chucked in Sherlock's face. Sherlock sat there, looking like Lestrade had just kicked his puppy on Christmas, "My name is  _GREG_  you tosser! G-R-E-G — How is that so  _difficult_  for you!?"

Sherlock sniffed petulantly, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arm like a testy teenager, "I don't see the need for violence — or your tone, for that matter."

"I've known you almost ten years, you git!" Lestrade put his face into his hands, "For God sakes do you even have any idea what day it is or is your head so firmly shoved up John's arse you can't see the light of day!?"

Mycroft actually let out a fierce snort at that. His hand immediately jumping to cover his mouth while leveling an evil glare at John who was gaping at him, Lestrade who was practically shaking trying to hold back laughter, and of course Sherlock who was staring at him as if he were made of lollipops and pixie dust. After regaining his composure, Mycroft cleared his throat and resumed taking dainty sips of his drink while the others erupted into laughter.

"As you can  _well_  see, my head is not lodged in any of John's orifices." Sherlock spat, adjusting his coat. "I'm perfectly aware that today is Thursday."

John let out a burst of laughter, "It's  _Friday_  you tit!"

Sherlock frowned and stared down at his fingers, counting slowly while his mind tried to process through the haze of intoxication, but quickly gave up, "No matter. I was close."

Lestrade just laughed and leaned back, "This is ridiculous, even for us, I have to admit."

John just shrugged, "I'm actually having a decent time, go figure."

Mycroft sipped his drink with delicacy, "It has yet to become completely abhorrent." John and Lestrade stared at him, ridiculously pleased that Mycroft actually managed to say something even remotely positive about the night.

Sherlock, gripping his drink turned painfully slow to face Mycroft, his entire face twisted in a deathly scowl, "What makes you think it  _will_  become abhorrent?"

"Well,  _brother mine,_ " Mycroft intoned with the same sort of scathing inflection he used that somehow indicated a level of affection for his brother, "you did manage the planning and we are all well aware of your track record."

Sherlock rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair, blowing a raspberry towards his brother who looked outright indignant towards the gesture. John and Lestrade continued to giggle so viciously that they almost fell over and Sherlock squared his shoulders with a wide shit-eating grin that his brother found reproachful.

"Absolute children, you lot." Mycroft spat and then sipped on his drink, pulling a face that clearly signified the beer was of sub par quality — as if he had only just noticed it.

John just guffawed and leaned forward, resting on his elbows and waiting for them to start bickering again, like old crones. Lestrade sat patiently, his fingers fiddling with a coin from his pocket as he smiled fondly at some thought.

"So where are the ladies tonight, then?" John chuckled.

"Hey, no talk of ladies. That's not what tonight is about." Lestrade chuckled and then let out a low whistle at the arse that strode by carrying drinks.

"Hey, mind out of the gutter now!" John chastised him, "You're a taken man, I hear." John elbowed him roughly.

Lestrade shrugged with a lopsided smile, "Not quite taken. Just having a bit of fun, mutually agreed fun. It's nice finding a bird that is pretty straightforward about what she wants."

Sherlock shot him a scowl, feeling like that statement could have some sort of negative connotation towards Kairi, but he valiantly disregarded the sour feelings, trying to remember that Lestrade cared deeply for her and wouldn't ever think of her in such a way. "Yes, Janine is quite… unique." He added

"Dr. Hooper's cousin?" Mycroft chirped in slight disbelief.

John scowled at him, his face a bit droopy from drink, "Yeah, how'd you know her?"

Mycroft's eyes cleared momentarily and the small smirk he usually wore returned in full force, "It pays to be well-informed Dr. Watson."

John gave him a small, wry smile, "You know, we've known each other for long enough, I think you can actually call me John."

"John." Mycroft said quickly, his face screwing up in distaste at the sentiment. "Pleasantries are a bother." He sighed.

Lestrade laughed, shaking his head, "My God, you two."

"Well, Janine does work in the media. Mycroft would be sure to know all of the important players in the journalistic, uh…." Sherlock began but trailed off, his attention caught by the lights again.

"Field?" John finished, questioningly.

"Yes!" Sherlock shouted gleefully, one finger on his nose and the other shooting out to point at John, symbolizing he was correct. "Also he met her at the party."

John gave a wide, smug grin and raised his hand to Sherlock who immediately had no idea what to do. John stared at his hand with a frown, lips fully turned down and then shrugged and turned to Lestrade who gave John a hearty high-five. They laughed and Sherlock frowned.

"No, wait, try it again, I want to do it again!" Sherlock whined, tugging at John's sleeve.

John and Lestrade tried not to laugh and they both offered up their hands and Sherlock dutifully slapped his palm against theirs and smiled widely, they tittered like proud children completing some arduous task successfully while Mycroft dramatically rolled his eyes — something he perfected long ago.

"So, erm, where  _are_  the girls?" John asked again and Sherlock shrugged.

"Out at some Judy bar, I think, Kairi mentioned something." Sherlock muttered, his hands flapping to denote his opinion on their location's insignificance, staring down at his cup while he tried to think straight.

"Judy bar?" John questioned, "Wait, like… Like a lesbian bar?"

Sherlock shrugged, "It's possible. Kairi has mentioned her distaste for most night clubs because male patrons tend to be a bit too  _handsy_." His face twisted with disgust at the word. It was outlandish some of the stories he had heard from her.

Lestrade nodded, "It's really ridiculous. I've gone out dancing with her a few times and almost knocked a few teeth out. One guy practically put her in some sort of weird shoulder hold trying to get her to dance and I almost had a fit. She managed to get out of it, but I was steaming."

There were a few beats of silence as everyone stared at Lestrade.

" _You?_ " Sherlock practically gasped, "You went  _dancing_?" He spat incredulously, setting his drink down with a thunk of utter disbelief.

"I sure did." Lestrade smiled wide, sipping on his drink like he held onto some secret.

Sherlock harrumphed and crossed his arms across his chest, "I'm sure it was sub par."

Lestrade smiled a little wickedly, "My, my, my, aren't you the jealous type?"

Sherlock opened his mouth with a wicked insult on his tongue, but John shushed him, "Stop it you too! Are they really called  _Judy_  bars?"

Mycroft finally let out a huge guffaw after watching them for a few minutes, his mind already deducing what Sherlock had meant despite his inability to remember what Kairi had actually said.

"What's so damn funny?" John growled, turning to glare at a  _giggly_  Mycroft.

"It's — it's not a  _Judy_  bar you absolute imbeciles," Mycroft was seriously on a peal now, he was hugging his midsection and trying to contain the laughter that was bubbling up, "It's a  _nudie_  bar! As in exotic dancing — men and women who remove their pants for money."

Lestrade stared at Mycroft and began cackling, while John and Sherlock's faces went blank and they glanced at each other.

"Can they  _do_  that?" John muttered nervously.

"I don't see why not." Sherlock shrugged, shooting John a very sinister grin, "Are you afraid she will find a more attractive Doctor to replace you? One that may actually possess an ounce rhythm?"

John scowled deeply at that, sputtering through his anger, "Well, Kairi could do a lot better than you, you jerk! I heard her and Molly talking about her boss — he's got a wonderful arse, if Kairi's giggles could tell you anything about it. Deduce that you prat!"

Sherlock bristled at the implication, sitting upright in his chair and Lestrade intervened, "Now, now children, both of you are saying not nice things. I think it's time you apologize."

Sherlock looked miffed and sniffed a hard breath out his nose at John who had his devious smile tickling his lips. They stayed that way, in a potential stalemate for a few moments, while Mycroft watched on cheerfully. Sherlock slumped a moment later, looking crestfallen.

"Did she  _really_  say he had a nice — erm…?" Sherlock muttered, looking a bit defeated.

John, feeling sympathy rising in him sighed heavily, "Oh, I don't know Sherlock. She's a woman with feelings and things. Everyone has impulsive thoughts, men and women, she'd never act on them. She'd never hurt you like that."

Sherlock bit his lip and nodded, "Yes, I suppose you're right."

Mycroft chuckled slightly at his brother's discomfort, "Yes, if she hasn't already left you, then be happy, dear brother. In all honesty, she didn't leave you for Dr. Watson or DCI Lestrade, so why would she bother with Mr. Wentworth? I dare say you may have been in more trouble if he'd have stuck with his original intent to become a doctor, but thankfully, he's only a brilliant financial mogul who is practically a genius and overwhelmingly attractive."

"Not to mention filthy rich." Lestrade muttered behind the rim of his glass.

Sherlock scowled at his brother sharply, "Yes, well you  _would_  say that."

Mycroft frowned as well, "And what is  _that_  intended to mean?"

Sherlock opened his mouth again to say something devastating, but John interrupted — yet again, "All right, I think we're getting off topic here."

Sherlock and Mycroft continued to glare at each other.

"Boys…" Lestrade started, reprimanding them with a single, exasperated word and a sideways glance between the two.

Sherlock's scowl deepened before he looked away, pouting sufficiently while crossing his arms. Mycroft simply sniffed his distaste and returned his focus to his drink.

"Right…" John cleared his throat, "So where are we going next exactly?"

Sherlock's frown vanished almost instantly and he sat up bolt straight with a twinkle in his eye usually reserved for murder and mayhem. He smiled widely at John and Lestrade, it tapered into a sneer as his eyes rested on Mycroft, "Oh, I think I know just the place." He grinned wickedly while his brother gazed into his own glass. Sherlock devised a cunning little plan to make Mycroft most horribly uncomfortable and it required attending a nudie bar.

* * *

Janine hooted so valiantly while Molly and Kairi swallowed their shots, they almost choked on the enthusiasm fusing with the liquor. She was waving her arms, cheering loudly, while Molly's face contorted into something that was positively hateful.

"Oh my  _Lord,_  that is disgusting!" Molly seemed to slur while wiping at her mouth.

Kairi was chuckling, her hand resting on her chest where the burn of liquor seemed to resonate the most violently, "Fuck me, that was awful. What the bleeding fuck was that called?"

"Uh," Janine thought hard for a moment, "A wet pussy, I think." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Molly shook her head violently, her entire body wracked with shivers from the foul drink, "It tasted like it should be called  _Gonorrhea and Shame_."

"Well it was free, wasn't it? No complaining now." Janine tutted like a mother hen.

Kairi sputtered out a laugh, choking on air as she leaned forward and placed a hand on the table in front of her, trying desperately to keep a hold of herself.

"Kairi's choking on a ghost dick!" Janine yelled over the music and Molly went red-faced and began laughing hysterically.

Kairi slumped in her chair, physically in pain from all the laughing that was going on that night and waved Janine off, "Stop, stop, I can't take it, you're killing me. My lungs stopped working, I can't —," she descended into a giggle fit that seemed to shake her entire form.

The three girls sat at the edge of a long catwalk, brightly lit with shining decorations littered all over. For the life of them, they couldn't remember the name of the club they ended up at, but they were uncommonly happy, sitting in comfortable chairs and sharing shots of liquor while scantily clad med danced around on stage to techno music. Though to be honest, they were too busy laughing so hard together that they barely noticed the mostly naked men at all.

The ladies were gussied up as pretty as they could be, Janine was in a deep red dress that draped low over her cleavage and had no back to speak of, a ruched skirt that hugged her thighs and showed off her glorious figure. Kairi was wearing a simple black dress, but it had a very low cut v-neck that stopped beneath her sternum and the same sort of v-cut on the other side dipping into her lower back, her legs were bare and smooth and her arms were covered by a very sheer lace that extended down to her wrists. Molly, of course, looked radiant in a white, lace dress that barely cut under her arse and clung to her like a second skin, looking like the glorious hussy she was, with a sweetheart neckline that seemed to plump up her small, but perky breasts. She also had a tiara upon her curled head and a bright red sash around her torso that clearly indicated she was in dire need of shots because she would soon be wed.

They laughed for a few more minutes until the hostess came back with another round of drinks. The ladies cheered her and thanked her graciously as the next song began to play and a man walked out in a long black trench coat and presumably, not much else aside from a cap on his head.

"Jesus Christ!" Janine seemed to scream along the resounding intro music, " _Holy_   _fuck_!"

Kairi followed her line of sight and caught the stage act and gasped in abject horror at the sight before her.

"It's Sherlock 2.0!" Molly screamed in glee as the man strutted forward to the heady beat of the music and whipped the deerstalker from atop his head and threw it into the screaming crowd of women. He revealed shaggy black hair, curling ravenously along his forehead, while his fingers slipped through it and he began to dance with a wide swing of his probable scantily clad hips.

"This  _cannot_  be happening!" Kairi yelled and shook, an odd sort of fascination, tainted with disgust and hilarity, creeping along her limbs and into her gut. She finally let out a guffaw as he whipped open his long black coat to reveal nothing but a small banana hammock with a looking-glass emblemized on the crotch. "NOHMYGOD." She bellowed over the bass.

"Oh, I flat-out  _refuse_  to miss this opportunity!" Janine shot up from her seat, waving a few notes in her hand as Molly squealed, clapping and snorting uncontrollably.

Kairi couldn't even begin to reign in her laughter, watching the man gyrate on stage, coming over to dance in front of them while Janine shoved some money into the straps of his thong. "Sherlock's been working out!" Janine shouted at Kairi who was so red-faced she felt like she might melt.

"Oh No!" Molly screeched and it was soon Kairi's turn to cackle.

"Oh yes!" Kairi piped up when someone else walked on stage, a chorus of cheers surrounded them in response to the new dancer, clad in a white lab coat and a stethoscope around his neck.

"Did someone call for a doctor?" The man shouted up on stage and everyone in the establishment absolutely lost it.

"Fuck!" Molly cried, tears streaming down her face as laughter bubbled up inside of her.

Janine was hooting again and waving notes at the dancers as they made their way along the catwalk. Kairi and Molly were having absolute fits over the fact that their boyfriends were famous enough that it was deemed appropriate for them to have stripper alter egos.

"We need pictures with them!" Janine cackled as she sat down and threw some money at the girls. Kairi laughed hysterically and grabbed the singles reaching out to place a well positioned note in the thong of the doctor.

Molly positively dissolved into uproarious laughter and reached out to grab some money and put it down the pants of the detective look-alike. "I'm ashamed to admit, I may have had a dream of this a long, long time ago."

Janine sat by, smiling deviously behind the lens of her cell phone camera.

The girls hooted and hollered for a few more minutes, until the end of the set, throwing as much money as they could feel comfortable with losing towards their faux-boyfriends. Janine absolutely thrilled, sat back and waved down another waiter to ask for a few more rounds while Molly and Kairi tried to remember how to breathe.

"Oh dear Jesus," Molly chuckled, fanning herself, "They'll never believe us."

Janine smiled wide, "Oh they'll have to." She shook her phone at Molly who blushed immediately.

"Oh God…" Molly couldn't stop the giggles from taking her over and Kairi just sat back, smiling wide, drunk and ecstatic that she was having such an amazing night out with her friends.

"Well, there's evidence now so even Sherlock can't refute it." Kairi sniggered, holding up the deerstalker the stripper had thrown off the stage.

"I've got to say Molly, if the dancer was any indication of Dr. Watson's physique, I'm a bit green-eyed." Janine giggled and Molly blushed.

"Well if we're being honest, he didn't do him enough justice." She slurred out and then realized what she had just said.

Silence ensued, tainted only by the thump of the intro music for the next dancers.

Kairi stared down into her glass, her eyes wide and glassy, "Oh my god… Dr. Watson has a huge dick."

Janine simply just gaped at Molly who had a hand firmly planted over her mouth to keep in any further outbursts.

"John Watson." Janine gaped, "Has a large penis." She whispered, as if testing the words on her tongue.

"Well," Molly began meekly, a voice they hadn't heard for a while, "That's why he walks so funny."

Kairi and Janine stared at Molly, bright red and vibrating with repressed laughter and they just broke. Their table practically shook with such uproarious laughter while a server placed down another round of, hopefully, more delectable drinks. The took their glasses, raised them up and Kairi smiled wide, shaking her head and trying to cope with the pain in her gut from laughter.

"To Molly, the sweetest, most brilliant coroner in the whole world!" She shouted over the din of the music, "It's a sad, sad day that Dr. Watson beat the rest of the universe to getting into her panties — however well endowed he may be. With much dismay, I say, I shall miss our nights entangled in sheets and snuggling until sunrise."

Molly sat up, looking almost enraged, "Oi, I'm to be married, I'm not dead! We can still snuggle!"

"Put it in the prenup!" Janine cackled, raising her glass.

"I love you dearly, Molly and I will happily snuggle with you until the end of time." Kairi raised her glass, "To nefarious snuggle affairs and a happy marriage!"

"MAWWAGE!" Janine and Molly chimed in and they all threw back their drinks.

The girls sat down and leaned into one another, laughing and cheering throughout the next set of dancers, Molly, emboldened by drink and encouraged by her friends, got pulled up on stage by one of the dancers and adored by the entire club, despite her modest dance ability, cheering their congratulations over the booming music of the speakers.

While Molly was taught to work it on stage, Kairi's phone began to ring. She excused herself and retreated to the restroom where the music was sufficiently dampened for conversation. She smiled at a few raucous ladies emerging from the loo and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She shouted, her own hearing severely impacted by the thundering bass of the club.

"Hello!" A cheery and oddly familiar voice chimed on the other end of the phone.

"Sherlock?" Kairi chuckled, plugging one ear in order to hear better.

"Yes!" He seemed to shout gleefully.

"What are you doing? Is everything all right?" She tried to listen over the din of the music outside and the cheers, probably for Molly.

"Yes, everything is just —," He paused and Kairi closed her eyes, checking the phone to see if the line was disconnected, "— peachy!"

" _Peachy_?" She slurred, astonished and giddy.

"Yes, well, mostly." He cleared his throat, his voice far more singsongy compared to normal, "I seem to have landed myself in quite the perdicle—ment— _predicament_ , yes that's it."

Kairi put her head against the bathroom wall and then immediately regretted it when she felt a foreign substance against her skin. She reigned in her squeal of horror and pushed off the wall, "What in the hell did you do?" She spat while swiping the back of her hand against her tainted skin.

" _Nothing_." He replied testily and then was silent for a moment, "Well, it wasn't  _all_  me."

"You got arrested didn't you?" She persisted and she could practically hear him quietly hemming and hawing.

"Not  _exactly._ " He muttered a bit pathetically.

She glanced down at her phone again and grumbled bitterly. He was not calling from his own phone, he was calling from somewhere else. More than likely, a police station. " _What. Did. You. Do._ _"_

"It was Mycroft!" He insisted, his voice fast and desperate, like a child trying to redirect the blame. If she wasn't so drunk and annoyed, she might have found in endearing.

"How?" She growled, trying to quell the pounding head ache behind her brow.

She barely heard some more shuffling, "There was an incident." He muttered.

"Yeah I'm gathering that." She snarled, "Look, I'm having a night out with Molly, this is her special night, Sherlock! Whatever you boys did to get yourself in trouble will have to be mitigated on your own time. I'm not coming to bail you out."

"But I love you." Sherlock murmured softly.

Kairi let out a peel of laughter, "Yeah, right. I'm not going to just pick up and leave because you try to get all sappy on me."

"Damn." He growled, sounding much more like himself. Kairi couldn't help but smile.

"Is there an officer nearby?" Kairi added calmly.

"Well, yes, but why —,"

"Let me talk to them please." She interrupted.

There was a slight commotion, a bit of confused sounding murmurs and then a female police officer came on the line, "Yes?"

"Hello! This dumbo is trying to get me to bail him out and I'd like to know why he's being held." Kairi paused, "He'll most likely lie to me."

"Oh," she began, "well, the incident in question occurred at a local, erm," She cleared her throat and lowered her voice, "strip club."

Kairi had to slap a hand across her mouth to keep in the laughter. Despite the fact that she was currently in one such local club, she never thought that Sherlock, let alone  _Mycroft_  would ever be caught dead in one. The laughter was slowly bubbling up, from her diaphragm, uncontrollable and violent as it burst through her vocal chords and she gasped for air, dying to tell Janine and Molly that the boys were in lock down and it was —

"It's barely even ten!" Kairi screeched, her voice gargling through the laughter.

"Yes, well…" The woman started. It seemed the phone began to shift and she muttered something to someone nearby. Judging by the vitriol in her voice, Kairi assumed she was talking to Sherlock again.

"Tell her I want to go home." He shouted on the side.

"Well, you shouldn't have punched that bouncer then." The officer hissed back.

"Oh jesus, this is great." Kairi muttered softly. She added as an afterthought, "So have charges been pressed?"

"Kairi save me!" Sherlock whined again.

"Not as of yet. Him and his brother are being held for the moment." She paused thoughtfully, "These two are right pricks, I'll tell you that."

Kairi chuckled, "Yes, I'm well aware."

"I barely nicked him with the drink platter!" Sherlock piped up again.

"Okay, put him back on." Kairi chuckled and there was hasty shuffling once more.

"Please come and bail me out." He whined again.

"I shan't," Kairi laughed, "You got into a fight Sherlock, and by the sound of it, chucked a drink tray at some poor bouncer. What could have possibly got into you to make you do that?"

Sherlock grumbled something.

"Say it again?" Kairi said a bit testily.

"My brother and I were deducing…" He mumbled.

"Deducing  _who_?" Kairi spat.

"The dancers?" He added tentatively.

"Oh, you prick." Kairi spat, "Those ladies are just doing their job and you have to come in all high and…pricky!"

"I understand that it's their chosen profession for whatever reason!" He sounded indignant, "Mycroft and I were simply trying to best each other and he ended up getting slapped. A bouncer came to grab at him and I defended him —,"

"D'awwww." Kairi mewed.

"Shut up," Sherlock hissed, "Now  _please_ , come and get us."

Kairi finished chuckling, "Where are John and Lestrade?"

Sherlock sighed, "Still probably yucking it up at the bar." Kairi thought she heard a hiccup.

She howled with laughter, John and Lestrade would most definitely ditch the brothers for a few moments of peace, "Right, well. It wont kill you to wait for them. I'm quite busy sticking singles in vivacious young gentlemen's under garments. I'm sure you'll be fine and continue on with your night once they catch up."

"But—,"

"Remember Sherlock, we must all take our lumps now and then." She chuckled.

" _Buuut_ _—_ _,_ _"_

"Goodbye, I love you!" She sang loudly and hung up. She made her way back out to the club, the music pounding in her ears as she rounded the corner and spotted Janine and Molly up on the catwalk, surrounded by male dancers, everyone obviously having a very decent time. With a giggle she bounded towards the stage and helped up by the faux-Sherlock, now dressed as a police officer, and continued her night with drinking and frivolity.

* * *

Kairi rested fitfully, too much to drink, too much dancing. Her entire body ached and her head felt like it was splitting up and down and all over. She groaned heavily and rolled onto her side, coming face to face with the shaggy fur of Toby. Then, she sharply remembered that Toby's fur was quite smooth and not the least bit shaggy or curly… or so wonderful smelling.

"Wait —," she grumbled herself fully awake.

"Mmmmph." Someone seemed to groan and Kairi shot straight up, sickness welling up in her throat. She began batting at the body, half-knowing and half-not caring who was cuddled up in her bed while she was stark naked and more than half in the bag. "Stop. Stoooooop. STOP." He responded in muted grumbles, his face plastered firmly in the pillow.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Kairi screeched, "You fucking nightmare of a man, you  _terrified_  me!"

"Mmmph." He protested with a weak batting of his hands which quickly and pathetically turned into grasping at Kairi's limbs and attempting to pull her back down.

"You should have called me Sherlock." She growled and let him tug her down and curl around her. "God, you smell like an ashtray and beer pee, go shower and then come to bed."

He seemed to wriggle around her for a moment, settling in like a dog trying to get comfortable, "No."

"Get out of my bed or I will bite you." She moaned, irritable, exhausted, and despite her own shower a few hours earlier, she still felt like she had been scraped off the barroom floor before finally turning in.

"Mmmphhhhhh—FUUUUUCK!" Sherlock bellowed as Kairi's teeth sunk into his clothed bicep. "Christ woman!"

"Get the fuck into the shower and hurry up." She grumbled and began pushing him away, "You'll stink up my sheets like this, you wino."

He clumsily rolled from the bed, grumbling bitterly about not drinking any wine as he clomped into her bathroom and began to disrobe. Kairi let herself get comfortable, a half-smile on her face, while she waited patiently. She heard the water turn on and a tentative patter of nails across tile.

"No!" Sherlock shouted again, "Damn dog!" He snarled and then there was a clamoring of nails against the tub, the curtain of the shower being wished about, and then the sound of wet feet splashing against the tile. The door slammed and Toby whined slightly at the crack by the floor while Kairi tried to contain her laughter.

What felt like a few minutes later, but possibly longer because Kairi had most definitely fallen asleep again, she felt warmth cozy up next to her, a nose, most likely not a dog's, nuzzling into her neck while strong arms wrapped around her. She hummed lightly in response to the comfort that surged through her when she felt fingertips begin to trace along her skin.

"I'm rather cross with you." Sherlock grumbled into her skin, his lips mushed against the column of her neck and despite the odd sensation, she could feel arousal broiling beneath her skin.

"Oh?" She replied rather innocently.

"Yes," he growled, pulling her closer against him, "you abandoned me in jail, left me to rot. That's not the behavior of someone devoted." He added bitterly.

Kairi chuckled lightly, feeling his body curling up closer behind her, his hands slow but explorative as they roamed along her skin. A drunk Sherlock was a touchy Sherlock. "Well, you seem to be fine now. How long were you _abandoned_?" She added sarcastically.

"Another hour or so after our conversation." He added softly, his words morphing into kisses across her skin. "It was a tortuous endeavor. I was locked away with Mycroft."

Kairi giggled, "And The Almighty couldn't even get you out?"

Sherlock grumbled, "Well, they knew who I was and him only by association. He was rather powerless and didn't want to call for help." He inhaled deeply, his nose pressed against the crook of her neck, "We were unfortunately stranded."

She chuckled again. "Oh, the horror." She replied blandly before yawning.

"It  _was_  horrible." He muttered petulantly, nipping at her neck and relishing in the way she arched back against him, "I must admit, it's been so long, I seem to be severely bereft of a woman's touch." He said slowly, his voice rumbling through his chest and down her spine. "Remind me?" He added quickly, yanking Kairi onto her back. He rolled on top of her and pinned her beneath him. The blanket was still between them, thin and simply annoying, and Sherlock's bare backside almost glimmered in the moonlight as he straddled her, pressing his pelvis against hers.

Kairi was giggling uncontrollably now, "Oh I see how it is then! Tortured in our penal system! You, an upper class white male, had such a  _difficult_  time in  _prison_ ," she ridiculed, "that you are seeking the comfort of the first woman you come by?"

He leaned in, taking her mouth with his in a fervent kiss, only pulling away when Kairi was breathing heavier and had a heady look in her eyes, "Well it was either you or Mrs. Hudson."

Kairi frowned heavily, jabbing her small, pointy fingers into his ribs and he let out a huff of air as he spasmed atop her and she rolled him to the side and effectively pinned him. She smiled wide, mischievous and entertained all the same, "Prick."

He feigned offense, a flighty hand against his chest, "Dearest, you wound me."

Kairi rolled her eyes and leaned in, kissing him earnestly upon the lips. "Damn you and that stupid mouth of yours." She growled playfully, leaning in and licking at his lower lip.

"Stupid," He began, surging up to kiss her heatedly while rolling them so they were side by side, entangled in sheets and limbs, "that is not the word I would use." He growled and kissed her heatedly, trailing kisses down her jaw and the column of her neck. She sighed softly as his lips continued to trail down her chest and pushed the sheet out of the way before pulling a nipple between his eager lips. She gasped this time, his mouth a little rougher, his teeth more ardent in their assault on her skin and she relished in it.

The fact that he did not treat her like something breakable was refreshing. He held her tightly, fingertips digging into her heated flesh, his mouth unshakeable in its onslaught. He treated her like something tangible and real, not like she'd wisp away with the slightest hint of strength.

Sherlock sat up sharply, surprising Kairi with the absence of his warmth and his touch. He whipped off the sheets, uncovering her totally and he paused. The simple light coming in through the windows was enough to illuminate the scene before him. He gazed down at her, bathed in the soft moonlight, her pale skin luminous and contrasting beautifully with sharp shadows that cascaded across her frame. The breath caught in his lungs for a moment, a soft smile spreading on his lips, reflected in the adoring smile that Kairi returned to him.

"Well?" She titled her head, the mischievous glint back in her eyes almost instantly.

Sherlock smirked and grabbed her arm, flipping her onto her stomach with her squealing response. He dove down again, hovering over her, letting his fingers trace along the lines of her sides, up again through the dip of her back and across her shoulder blades. His lips followed his fingers earnestly while she writhed beneath him, sighing and gasping between the presses of his lips and nips of his teeth.

One hand snaked down her side, pulling up her hips and slipping between her and the bed. His long fingers pushed against her folds gently, teasing the heated skin while she arched her back, her backside pressing into his erection and opening herself to him. Fingers pressing in deeper, a single digit teased her clit in small, heavy circles that had her grinding against him for even further friction. A growl rose into the back of his throat, emerging against the soft skin of her shoulders when his teeth took the skin between them and applied a vicious sort of pressure.

Kairi let out a sharp cry, her body incensed, possessed by the sensation of him against her, everywhere, filling up her senses and blocking out all logical thought. As his fingers moved against her wetness, teasing her opening slowly, almost brutally in the deliberate way they dragged through her, she felt her legs shake against his weight in response.

He growled again, positioning himself closer, pressing every inch of his skin against hers as he kissed down her spine, letting her wetness coat his fingertips as he pushed his erection against the curve of her backside. She lifted her hips, allowing him more space to maneuver his hand and he slipped a single digit inside of her, the fingertip naturally curling and causing her to moan deeply, the sound resonating between them both as he relished in her.

"There we go darling." He whispered against her skin and she unsuccessfully held back a whimper as her hips canted against his hand.

"Sherlock…" She sighed, his finger curling deeper and she spread her thighs further.

With a pleased sort of growl, he adjusted his stance, placing his knees inside of the spread of her legs and rooting himself. He scooted down, leaning in and kissing down her back. His teeth, sinking into the curve of her backside and she yelped, jumping slightly as his fingers moved slowly from their teasing pace to grip and tilt her hips towards his lips. His mouth descended on her inner thighs, her body arched perfectly so that his tongue could tease the lips of her vulva and she shivered again, pleasure spiking through her body.

He held her thighs firmly, his tongue lavishing her taste and nibbling at the heated flesh. Her back arched against him, her face firmly planted against the bed, her moans and sighs dying in the softness of the pillows. He reveled in her sweetness, her cries incensing him, a vibrant need now coursing through his veins as she rocked back against his mouth.

He ceased his onslaught, sitting back onto his knees and pulling her hips towards him. She gasped in surprise, his fingertips digging into the flesh of her hips for a moment before he positioned himself at her opening and pushed in with a deep groan.

She moaned in response, her upper body pressed flat against the bed, her fingers gripping the sheets as he began to move inside of her, her hips desperately tilting upwards so that each thrust drove into the one place that seemed to send shock waves through her senses.

He could not get enough of this feeling. The perfect sort of heat that spread through him and tore at his awareness. She centered him so perfectly when they were together. He was always so aware of his own being, consumed and alive while he pressed into her and only wanted more and more.

She could barely breathe due to his pace, she could barely think because every thrust drove into her perfectly. Her face pressed into the sheets and mattress, muffling her cries as his hips snapped against hers. She felt him lean forward, his stomach pressing into the curve of her back and his hands reached out to grasp the fingers that were clenching the sheets beneath her.

His fingers entwined with hers, his mouth firmly planted along her neck, back, and shoulders. His teeth ravaged the sensitive skin as his hips ground into her, pulling moans and sharp screams from her lips.

The fire that thread through him was stoked by her cries, by the way her hips rolled back into his so he could lose himself inside of her. The sounds only spurred him further, holding her in place with the force of his hips, the weight of his body, and the grip he had on her hands. She moved beneath him, as much as she could, and he smiled wide against her neck, heaving breaths against her skin, inhaling the smell of her arousal, and committing all sensation to his perfect memory.

He released one of her hands, urging her wordlessly to reach beneath them and touch herself through his movements. She obliged of course, as his arm wrapped around her shoulders and he pressed himself further against her. He held her so close, despite his strength and determination, he could not, would not, force her movements. The way she ground against him, her mewling cries so desperate, were symphonic to him. In this moment it felt like the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Their bodies were a mixture of heat and perfection, a need so strong that it rippled through them both as they ground into one another. Kairi's fingers circled her engorged bud, feeling the way that he slid into her, fluid and determined. An orgasm rippled through her only a moment later, when Sherlock sunk his teeth into her neck, right below her ear.

The muscles squeezed him, intensely, beautifully, as he thrust inside her. Every muscle in her body seemed to seize while she came and a strangled cry, muffled by his weight and her mouth pressed against her pillow, accompanied her body's release.

He pushed further, his arm removing itself from its grasp on her upper body, snaking between them and finding her wetness pulsing around him, using the pressure of her own fingers and a stringent force applied with his own, he began circling her clit once again and she shook beneath him, whimpering and desperate.

He had the audacity to chuckle slightly, tapering off into a moan as she continued to come, muscles and pulses pulling him deeper, more desperately into sensation and heat. He groaned, unable to hold back his need as he pushed into her harshly, clinging to feeling of her completely enveloping him as he let go with a deep groan.

They moved together slowly, coming down from the sharp sort of high that culminates from two bodies in perfect synchronicity. Gasps and sighs from both lips, two bodies heaving against one another and relishing in the comfort that their physical love supplied.

He pulled back slowly, allowing her space to move, allowing time for her muscles to relax and to fall back down into comfort. He slowly stood on shaky legs, like a newborn fawn learning to walk, as he went to her bathroom and to relieve himself and retrieved a damp towel for her to wash herself with. A funny sort of thing in his mind occurred, his decision to do such was because the last thing he wanted to do was disturb her post-coital bliss.

"Come now, darling." He muttered sleepily when he returned and prodded her side. She grunted her response which was indicative of her desire to remain still. "Kairi…" He chided.

She rolled slowly and he sat on the bed next to her, smiling fondly at her slack features, blissed out and grinning, "What?" She replied petulantly.

He held out the towel, "Clean up and let's go to bed."

She groaned and rolled her eyes, "Stupid men. You don't have to deal with the clean up now do you?"

"I had to deal with condoms when we used them." He replied smartly.

"Yes, well that's a convenient little package isn't it?" She snarked.

He rose an eyebrow, "Well the vagina is, in fact, the intended receptacle —,"

"Oh my god,  _shut up_." She groaned and grabbed the towel, "Thank you," she began with a small grin, "for the  _sentiment_ , but I've got to go to the restroom too."

He rolled his eyes, "Well, that was pointless."

She winked, sitting up slowly and pressing a quick kiss to his lips, "It's the thought that counts you adorable little muffin." She stood quickly and waddled into the bathroom, thankful for the evolution of Kegel muscles.

When she returned, she found Sherlock sprawled in her bed, on his stomach and his rounded backside shining like a beacon in the pale moonlight. A wicked smile graced her lips, accompanying the evil thoughts inside of her head, but she was dog tired and it seemed that Sherlock was too.

"This is slightly poetic." She murmured to herself, climbing into bed, over Sherlock's snoring form and tried to get comfy as she adjusted the sheets, covering him and herself.

A moment later, after she was happily situated, Sherlock's sleeping form rolled over, a snort escaping his nose, and he curled into her side and relaxed, his arms wrapping around her and his legs curling into hers. She couldn't help the smile the itched across her lips, the feeling contentment and safety was so very vibrant for the first time in a while.

She had to admit, though only the second bachelorette party she had attended, this one was shaping up to be the best so far.

Though she'd never tell Heather that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> That was just silly... I hope you enjoyed it. I mean I really did. I just giggled the entire time. This wasnt necessary and I almost removed it from my original outline of the story but I just sat down and started playing around with it and this emerged... I hope you enjoy it all.
> 
> In the next few weeks, I'll be having some appointments to discuss my current health. I am doing all right, but still having some issues, so I'm going to be mapping out a care plan for myself with the aid of Doctors and my family. I'll still be around, but in the hecticness, I ask that you afford me some leniency as I may not be able to update again for two to three weeks while I adjust. I was already late this week and I do apologize. A lot of stuff has been going on and between my issues and my husband's work we haven't been as productive as we like to be.
> 
> So dear friends, I hope to update within the next few weeks. We are getting closer and closer to the end. I can't believe it! Thank you so much for being so lovely. I'm already having difficulties, so I only ask that if you have anything to say about the story or the chapters that is constructive, please let me know how I can improve. Love you all!


	21. Chapter 21

The days were closing in on when Terrence needed his home network up and running and Kairi was exhausted. Within the last few weeks, her world had been a tizzy of computer code and wedding planning. To be truly honest, it was weighing on her heavily. Every day was busy so far, whether she was doing a last minute dress fitting with Molly; chauffeuring Sherlock around to make sure he was completing last minute Best Man duties; running all over London and Oxford to complete the code; and lastly, getting about thirty minutes morning and night to walk Toby and maybe, just maybe, eat some goddamn food. She didn't have any time to spare, but dammit if she wouldn't run herself into the ground to make sure Molly got her perfect day.

Her fingers were currently thumping against the keyboard, no longer fluidly stroking the keys with her usual delicate rhythm. Within the program, she was trying her best to work out all of the kinks that existed in the code. So far, things were going rather smoothly and she was happy for the assistance that Henry had provided during the entire process. He had been more than willing to stay late with her and review her code. Since he had the best knowledge of Terrence's systems at Plutus he was least likely of all the programmers at said institution to fuck it up completely.

This was one such night that she was hanging out late at Terrence's home. Luckily, Henry had disappeared a few minutes ago or a few hours ago (she couldn't recall), probably running out for food or energy drinks so that Kairi and he could finish their work for the night. Too many nights had been spent here at Terrence's brushing off Henry's awkward flirtatiousness and eyeballing a computer screen for hours and not home curled up with her mutt and a glass of wine or even better, sleeping off the stress with an amorous detective. It was vexing.

She had sent a text to Sherlock hours before, letting him know that she would be home late. Despite The Sandman's fascination with her, it had been a while since he had tried to contact her and she was ever thankful. That did not stop Dr. Watson, DCI Lestrade, Mycroft and Sherlock Fucking Holmes from being overwhelmingly protective. As much as she appreciated it, it was still exhausting fielding all of their concerned contact. Mother hens, the lot of them.

She realized that she had been staring at the same line of code for the last however many minutes and she sighed. As much as she wanted to keep working, she realized she probably should get some rest and come back in the morning with fresh eyes. She stood slowly, stretching fully, her shoulders and back popping and crackling like rice cereal as she groaned. Henry was long forgotten.

Wiping a slow hand down her face, she plodded towards the door of the study so she could make her way to the restroom. As her project was finally waning, she was only just starting to comfortably find her way through the labyrinth of Terrence's home. Right now, being so dark and almost completely empty, she walked through the halls, trying to contain her yawns and resisting the urge to scrub her face clean from the accumulated hours of work and static sitting.

Finishing up her call to nature, she washed her hands and resisted the urge to splash water on her face. She'd call Mycroft for a car when she got back to the study, realizing she could get in another hour or so of work before she needed to leave. There was probably some small tasks she could complete in the home terminal to make sure the program would run seamlessly. She'd done it a hundred times before, but alas, there was always  _something_  that could go wrong.

Dragging her feet, she finally sat back down at the computer and reached for her phone. Her eyes were caught by the computer screen and she let out a frustrated growl. Slamming her phone on the table in anger, she quickly apologized to her precious piece of technology and then reached for the keyboard. For whatever reason, possibly an edit on Henry's part, the port into the Plutus system did not automatically sign out after fifteen minutes. Because of security concerns, she had told Terrence that after a certain amount of time, the port would close itself while saving any recent work. Though she had first hand experience in knowing things were getting saved and the port would close successfully, she knew that it had been longer than the desired time. This was a huge mistake that could cost her hours of work. However, she knew of a way she might be able to make a quick fix and get home in time to eat a pathetic dinner before falling asleep.

Frustrated as ever, she pulled up the console and ran a recursive search for the time out code. Because of the nature of a recursive search, she would have to sort through everything within the 'egrep' command that showed code relative to a time out. She glanced at her watch and winced, but she knew the port must have been open for more than fifteen minutes while she sat staring at blurring code on the screen before resigning to using the bathroom. She typed in a search for a twenty-minute timeout and scanned through the almost limitless results.

She glanced at her phone for a moment and reluctantly reached for it, shooting a quick text to Mycroft and Sherlock for a pick up. When Mycroft replied first, she could only imagine the annoyed look on Sherlock's face, but she thanked Mycroft for his offer anyway and agreed to being picked up in about an hour.

She turned back to the search and began combing through lines of information, her eyes vibrating through it and just about as focused. Groaning, she pulled off her glasses and rubbed her eyes furiously, ever thankful for the make up she invested in being relatively smugeproof. It was dark anyway, so what if she gave herself raccoon eyes? She was sure Henry had just gone home without her at this point and Terrence was probably asleep in one of fifty-or-whatever rooms of his manor. The creepy butler hadn't been seen since after dinner, so she assumed that he had gone home as well.

Growling again — obviously professional and mature — she pushed her glasses back on and faced the screen that felt like it would be the death of her. She told herself that she'd give it a good twenty minutes to find what she needed and if she missed it somehow, she'd return to it all tomorrow and try harder. Right now she was desperate for sleep and solitude, perhaps even a beer if she were feeling special.

She shouted in glee when she found the mistake, hurrying to cover her mouth after her outburst, as it was only getting later and later into the night. She clopped her fingers along the keyboard and fixed the error that had occurred in the code both in the home network and Plutus' that rendered the time out function essentially useless. It could have been something as simple as an accidental keystroke or a sneeze making your fingers spasm on the space bar, and though disastrous undiscovered, it was easily remedied.

She pushed the new changes and sat back, waiting the allotted fifteen minutes, her eyes flitting between the computer screen and her inactive phone, half conscious, half asleep. Sherlock must be busy if he didn't respond to her text, he was so flippant at times. When the terminal shut down, she did her best not to leap into a freeze frame pose of success, instead she just gave it a smug smile and let out a few whispered words declaring her own supremacy. She reopened the port, checking to make sure all of her files saved properly and felt a huge wave of accomplishment roll over her. She definitely deserved that beer.

Her eyes strayed to the open terminal from Plutus where her recursive search parameters were set and she went to close it, until something caught her eye.

She sat forward, squinting at the screen and reread the line of code that caught her eye.

She glared at it for a second, something itching at the back of her mind. She couldn't recall a file she had created with that name, but it was bothering her that it seemed familiar. She leaned back, glancing around the dim, empty room and then scooted forward again, clicking on the file and wondering why she suddenly felt all the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

She ignored the code itself for a moment and pulled up the information on the file, finding it authored by Henry's predecessor. She checked the history of the file, the last edit made over a year ago. She thought she had gotten rid of all nonessential files. She went back to the code itself and began reading.

Slowly, confusion began to cloud her thoughts. She had no idea what this code's purpose was and how it could possibly be beneficial for the Plutus system.

This code was engineered to count down, but to what, she wasn't precisely sure. She had seen a lot of code, messed with a lot of programs, but this, this was something entirely new to her - this alone was enough to make her intensely curious. She had messed with Mycroft's secret projects, she'd been in on some shady dealings and cyber attacks on deserving people, but for some reason, this code was making her stomach churn, like it was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

That was of course until she fell upon the embedded script.

_/_ _Mr. Sandman,_

_/B_ _ring me a dream_

_/_ _Make_ _her_ _compaction_

_/Like peaches and cream_

_/Give her two lips_

_/L_ _ike roses_ _on clover_

_/_ _T_ _ell me that my lonesome nights are over._

_/_ _Sandman,_

_/_ _I_ _'_ _m so alone_

_/_ _Don_ _'_ _t have nobody to call my own_

_/Please turn on your magic beam_

_/_ _Mr. Sandman_ _wants to hear you scream_ _._

"Oh…" Kairi gasped, her lips trembling heavily, "oh-oh-oh my  _god!_ _"_ _s_ he squealed and slapped a hand over her mouth.

She stood quickly, her chair scraping backwards and ripping through the silence of the night. She turned when the noise startled her, grabbing at the chair and fitfully attempting to silence it with shaking hands. She took a few steps back from the computer and glanced around again, listening for anything that signified anyone cared about her making a whole bunch of noise for no good reason. When the silence remained her only reply, she took a deep breath and tried to steady herself.

Staring back at the code, she did her best to gulp back her urge to throw up and she reached for her phone with shaking hands, but before she could figure out who to call — Lestrade? Sherlock? Mycroft? — she stared back at the open file and her thoughts began to whirl.

The author of this code was now "living somewhere remote" for at least a year and a half. Glaring at the screen, she felt another wave of nausea crash inside of her stomach and she felt herself falter slightly.

How? How could this file be in the Plutus mainframe? Why would it be there? Who on earth could possibly and  _successfully_  hide this file without anyone accidentally stumbling onto it? Didn't Henry do recurrent system checks —

Henry.

 _Henry_  had access to all of these files.

Henry had been the one to tell Kairi about the head of IT randomly retiring and how  _he_  benefitted from the man's absence. No one else had heard from the man since, it seemed. If the retiree had put this file on the computer, if he were guilty of trying to blow up Kairi and Sherlock, why would he leave it when he retired? Wouldn't a meticulous, need driven type of psychopath want to make sure he covered all of his tracks before disappearing into the night?

Kairi began to pace, shaking her head fitfully. She had watched too many crime shows, read to many weird books, slept with such a morose and murder-focused man. Her whole life was permeated by mystery and murder and she was tired. Dragging leaded fingertips down her face, she stared down at her phone and knew that she had to tell someone about this, but who?

Sherlock would no doubt storm the scene and tear Henry and possibly Terrence's life and home apart. Not to mention Henry — a false accusation could absolutely bury him and his life. He was so young to put everything at risk like this. He seemed wrong somehow, always, but the last thing she wanted to do was ruin an innocent man's life. She  _had_  to be sure. She couldn't just hand over this information she found with half-cocked, insomnia induced deduction skills and obviously frayed emotions.

She was unstable, at best. Would anyone even believe her?

Sherlock would.

She stared at her phone and typed in a simple message.

_I think I may have some information about The Sandman. Mycroft_ _'_ _s man should be here very shortly so I will meet you at home._

She sighed and went back to the computer and began copying the file to her phone. Granted, this was horribly unsafe behavior and absolutely unprofessional, but she needed to be able to show Sherlock what she found.

Despite the fact that she had discovered this murderous gem on Plutus' system, she couldn't really be  _sure_  it was Henry — especially if it was authored by the previous IT Specialist. He had moved away, but who knows what that meant? Perhaps he was in hiding. Maybe he retired so he could pursue his life long dream of cutting people into bits and being a homicidal maniac.

Kairi continued to shake as the file took its sweet ass time getting copied to her phone, she tried to pace, to stand still, but everything was unsettling. She just wanted to be gone. The timing itself most likely had nothing to do with the fact that Kairi could barely type or plug in her phone, let alone see straight after something like fifteen hours in front of the stupid monitor.

Gnawing on her fingers, she tried to think. She was no Sherlock Holmes, but she wasn't exactly an Anderson either.

Then, she stopped dead in her tracks.

The night she had gone out with Molly and the boys. When they sat at dinner while the guys got drinks, Henry had approached them. Henry had talked to them. In Brentford.

Brentford was where the last murder had taken place. That night was when the third murder had happened.

Henry had been right there.

Was that coincidence or poor planning?

Kairi shook her head again. She didn't want to be making connections that weren't there. She just needed to focus on the facts which was incredibly difficult to do considering she was absolutely terrified. She began wringing her hands, glancing at her watch while the file stalled. She let out a horrified sort of noise and ran to the computer and tried to reattach it and started the upload again. She didn't have much longer until the car would arrive, but at least someone would be there with her in case Henry materialized.

Everything would be okay. She'd get the file, she'd get out, she'd present it to Sherlock and Lestrade and then she'd wash her hands of it. It was her duty, as a human being, to provide any and all evidence that may contribute to the identity of a murderer. She  _had_  to do this. She couldn't let London continue to be terrorized by such a monster. A monster that she probably knew quite well by now.

She froze again, thinking about Henry, thinking about The Sandman. Could they really be one in the same? She had been around this man almost as much, if not more than her own boyfriend, for the past few months. Aside from the fact that he was a bit awkward, she couldn't quite convince herself that he was capable of  _that_. However, that's what people always say, isn't it?

But if there was anything that Kairi truly knew and understood, it was that humans, all humans, are capable of dark, horrible things. Every. Single. One.

She paused again, her thoughts racing around and she did her best to pluck the most prominent one from the haze. The Sandman was brutally eviscerating his victims with almost surgical precision. The Sandman must know something about cutting and gutting people which meant he had to be in a field where it was useful. Well, either that or a hobby.

 _Hunting_.

Henry's father had been a hunter  _and_  a taxidermist. Both of those were areas where anatomical knowledge would be not only useful, but downright necessary.

Henry would have had her contact information and been able to send her the videos of the killings even after Mycroft changed her phone and gave her an unlisted number.

She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling violated and sick, squeezing her upper arms and began to pace again. She tried to restore some balance to her thoughts but they were too disjointed. Everything she knew about the case, everything she knew about Henry, it was all flooding her brain, absorbing all of her focus.

Coding. Hunting. Presence at the locations of the murders. Possession of her personal information. Obsessed with Sherlock and John. All of it was, at best, circumstantial, but damn if it didn't scare the shit out of her.

As she paced she tried to think, she tried to remember the facts of the case. She had worked so diligently to stay away from most of the gory details, but she had been there when discussing the autopsy, she had seen the first murder and accidentally watched some of the other ones. She was  _in_  this now and if she wanted to help Sherlock, she'd need to think.

The autopsy. The supposition of drugs used to subdue the victims. How could Henry have access to the drugs?

Kairi stumbled into the table and stood herself back up on shaky legs.

 _Terrence_.

Terrence had a practical hospital set up in his home for his infirm mother. He had a pharmacy worth of medications up in her bedroom needed to make her transition home easier. Could any of those medications used in the Sandman cases to subdue victims be used for a person with ALS?

She turned back to the computer, something flashing on the bright screen, and realized that the file had finished transferring to her phone. She yanked the connection out in haste, for the first time in her life actually stopping in horror because she didn't eject it properly from the computer. Digging through the files on her phone she found it and sighed in relief. Thankfully, since it didn't ever seem to matter, the file transfer was not damaged by her inability to eject the storage device before unplugging it.

But back to her terror, she tried to sort through the thoughts that plagued her. Henry had almost everything that they were looking for in a suspect, except of course the drugs. She was sorting through what she remembered of the conversation she'd had with Molly and Sherlock about the paralytics. The most salient thing she could remember was the fact that one of them succinylcholine, she thought, was used for emergency intubations.

She wracked every corner of her mind for information. ALS was a degenerative disease that attacked parts of the nervous system controlling muscle movement. In late stages of the disease, it could very well affect lung function and lead to respiratory failure. In which case, a paralytic like the ones Sherlock suggested, might actually be necessarily for intubation. It's very possible that the room upstairs held the information she needed to know.

Her entire body went cold and she turned slowly, facing the empty room. One of the worst parts of her entire personality was her insatiable need to know things. This was not likely one of the times that she really wanted to be battling with herself over this urge, but she felt beyond compelled. The more information she could give Sherlock and Lestrade, the easier it would be to catch The Sandman — to catch Henry.

She groaned softly, grabbing her phone to type a quick message to Mycroft.

_If I_ _'_ _m not outside when your man arrives tell him to come in for me._

She tucked the phone into her pocket and shut down the computer, clearing as much evidence of her presence as possible before walking to the door of the study and opening it slowly.

She tried to look nonchalant as she shut the door behind her. She strolled through the marble halls, trying her best to not shake like an incontinent chihuahua with each step she took further down the halls.

When she first started, Terrence had tried almost hopelessly to show Kairi around so she could navigate these halls safely. She was painfully bitter at herself for focusing more on Terrence's shaggy hair and beard scruff than which hallway led wherever the fuck. She was infuriated with the fact that she allowed herself those distractions.

She walked slowly but seemingly with purpose, thankful for the soft soles of her flats instead of clicking heels. The entire home seemed almost abandoned and she was even more thankful that Henry didn't seem to be here any longer.

Hopefully, Terrence was asleep. Hopefully, even if he wasn't, he'd understand the gravity of the situation and he'd help her and the authorities with whatever they needed. Either way, The Sandman was very likely one of his employees and possibly involved with the previous IT Manager's quick retirement and disappearance.

She rounded a corner, head first in order to see if anyone was coming. The area looked familiar, but then again, everything looked relatively the same in these halls. However, if Kairi could recall properly, the room they were preparing for Terrence's mother was on the first floor somewhere nearby. She had tried to find the restroom that one time when she ran in on Terrence arguing with a doctor — though, she was far too embarrassed to completely recount her surroundings at the time — so this could be it. It had to be.

She approached a large set of doors and opened them with trepidation, thankful for the rich and their absolute obsession with keeping a home in perfect condition and therefore lacking in squeaking hinges and floorboards. Upon peeking in, she noted that she must have found the right room and actually felt pretty proud of herself.

It seemed that the room was in the final stages of preparation. Comfortable, yet replaceable sheets lined the reclining bed and monitoring equipment that she recognized from her own hospital stay surrounded it. She tried to fight the shiver that rolled down her spine as she took tentative steps forward, walking over to the walls lined with cabinets full of medical equipment.

She tried to trace back the moments when Sherlock discussed the options for The Sandman's drug choices. She tried to remember anything that could help her find them. She knew it had to be injected, which means it would be a liquid. She ran slow fingers over the clear paneled cabinets, her eyes barely dusting over most of the medications and equipment arranged just perfectly for ease of use.

She paused at a smaller cabinet, one that was far more insulated and sturdy than the others. She touched the corners of the glass and recoiled slightly. It was a refrigerated unit and the coldness seeped into her core. She looked around the dim room and assured herself that she was alone and then crouched, opening up the small refrigerator and taking a glance at the items all sorted inside.

There were medications she could just barely recognize, things like antibiotics that she'd come into contact with through her travels and run ins with doctors, some pain medications, and of course other things she had no clue as to their purpose. Her fingers traced along the names of the drugs, three or four times before she finally found was she was looking for.

She pulled out two vials, filled with solution. She turned the vial in her fingertips slowly, reading the names carefully, Anectine and Zemuron. Both were non-generic forms of succinylcholine and rocuronium respectively — she only remembered because Molly had mentioned they sounded like planet names from Star Trek. She shut the door slowly and stood, moving to slide the medications into her pocket.

"Kairi?"

Kairi screamed and turned, hands flailing out in front of her in a defensive position. She wanted to start swinging wildly, bash Henry's stupid face in for flooding what seemed like the last innocent part of her life with the filth of humanity's dark deeds.

"Kairi, what are you doing?" Steps moved forward to her and she began to relax, instantly recognizing the voice and calming.

"Oh, jesus! Terrence!" Kairi squealed and ran to him. She practically jumped into his arms, thankful he was not the suspected murderous psychopath. She sighed her relief and pulled back, his hands still confusedly wrapped around her waist where he held her steady. She gripped his shoulders, staring him down seriously, "Look, I don't have time to explain —,"

His thick brows furrowed as he watched her features and felt her shake in his arms, "The hell you don't, you're shaking. What is going on?"

Kairi took a calming breath, adrenaline starting to level out within her nervous system, "Look, it's complicated. Have you seen Henry?"

Terrence shook his head, "Not for a while. His car is still here though, in the garage."

Kairi's eyes went wide and her fingers reflexively gripped the soft and expensive material of Terrence's shirt, "We need to get out of here. Now." Her fingers glided down his arm before she finished the sentence and latched onto his hand. She turned to run, trying her hardest to pull him along, but he was obstinate. She turned, noticing he was firmly rooted in place, staring at her with an unreadable expression, "Terrence, I mean it,  _now._ " She yanked on his hand, desperation obvious in ever cell of her body.

He tugged his hand back and almost looked offended, "Tell me what is going on! I find you up here snooping around in my home, acting erratically, and sorting through my mother's medication — Kairi, you are not only behaving horribly unprofessional, but I'd even venture to say you're acting like you're some sort of drug addict! Tell me what is happening!"

"You're right — I'm sorry, I'm just…scared." Kairi sighed heavily and moved closer to him, "I think we've been duped, Terrence. Do you know anything about the killer the news is calling The Sandman?"

Terrence narrowed his eyes at her, "Yes of course, it's all over the place."

Kairi nodded, "Sherlock is working the case. He has been since the first time it all started over a year ago." She sighed and dug one hand into her pocket to check to see if the vials were still there and unharmed. "Look, I know this sounds insane, but I found a file on your Plutus network. This file contained code used in the first interaction Sherlock had with The Sandman — well, also  _my_  first interaction with him. It was a complex computer program that ran an impenetrable dialogue that essentially counted down to the CPU exploding and almost seriously injuring us. We obviously escaped unscathed, but I found  _that_  exact code on Plutus' computer, authored by the previous head of IT."

"What?" Terrence stared at her, absolutely confused and looking somewhat terrified.

"Now, your previous head of IT has been gone for over a year right? He worked for you for ages, but does he ever try to contact you?" Kairi muttered, glancing around the room and watching the door, keeping her tone low as to not arouse suspicion.

Terrence shook his head, "No, he moved somewhere remote. Haven't heard from him since his resignation letter."

"Okay, so — wait, what? A letter?" Kairi replied.

Terrence nodded, "Yes, a letter. Telling me he needed to retire because of ill-health. He even recommended Henry for the position."

Kairi let out a small, cold chuckle, "I can't believe it." She shook her head and stared up at Terrence in utter disbelief, "It  _is_  Henry!"

Terrence shook his head, "What in god's name do you mean?"

Kairi pulled away from him and paced, keeping her voice in a harsh whisper, "Henry is The Sandman!"

Terrence almost laughed, "He can't be—,"

"Listen!" Kairi insisted, "I don't want to believe it either. He kept trying to ask me out and I said no! I could have easily ended up disembowled!"

"Kairi," Terrence breathed heavily, reaching out to ground her, "I didn't realize he was making you so uncomfortable, but accusing him of that —,"

Kairi interrupted pulling back from his grip, "But there are some factors that point to him!" She began ticking them off on her fingers, "One, he has access to your Plutus systems and he either created the code and lied about his experience or he got someone else to do it - I bet you can guess who. Two, he was the only one who benefitted from getting rid of the previous IT Head, whether killed or bribed, the man is  _gone_. Three, he has extensive skills in hunting and taxidermy, giving him the knowledge needed to eviscerate, inject, and whatever fucking else he does to his victims. Four, he has access to the drugs needed to paralyze his victims." She then reached into her pocket and pulled out the vials, showing them to Terrence, "He's stolen them from your stocks. I don't know how he got them all a year ago, but he's stolen the medication intended for your mother."

"How —," He stared down at her hands, holding the slim vials in her quaking palm. When he glanced back up at her face, he swallowed heavily, dropping his head into his hands.

"Terrence," She said tentatively, taking a step towards him, "We need to go, we're in danger if we stay here and he's with us."

He looked back up at her, focus and determination in his eyes this time, "Fine, come with me. We'll take a car."

"I've got Mycroft's man coming to get me, he should be here soon —,"

"It's better if we get out of here, now. I'll send a message to Mycroft, let him know I've got you." Terrence insisted and reached a hand out to her.

"Right." Kairi nodded, "Okay, let's go." She placed her hand in his and he tugged her out of the room. She tucked the vials back into her pocket and went to grab her phone, but saw Terrence typing something on his.

She couldn't help but feel a little less terrified now that she had someone she could trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack and horribly sorry for the delay. I've been struggling pretty bad with some of my issues. Back in therapy thats a bit more intensive and I'm trying not to backslide. *sigh* Because of my awefulness I'm posting two chapters today, so enjoy!
> 
> We are literally so close to the end. Between life and my husband's side work, since he's technically my beta, we are trying to power through these last chapters and get them released to you ASAP. Things are written but they must be edited and gone through a few more times before I feel comfortable posting them
> 
> Soon though, my loves, very soon!
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this chapter. It's my birthday this weekend so I might even resort to begging for pity reviews, okay?
> 
> Love you all


	22. Chapter 22

Sherlock was sitting in Lestrade's office, pouring over case files and autopsy reports when he got Kairi's first message about being late. Though the last few weeks were tenuous and he was becoming very hopeful towards the coming nuptials. Almost everything was under control, except of course the beloveds themselves, who had turned from self-sufficient adults into infants in the wake of their ceremonial profession of love. With list after list of things to accomplish, he could barely wait until the damned thing was over with. Though he was genuinely happy for John and Molly, he had to admit the fuss being made was horribly tedious. If Kairi ever agreed to marry him, he was adamant that they would most likely elope — neither of them were comfortable sharing their most personal feelings with the public.

He decided to distract himself from those thoughts and it wasn't until hours and hours later and he was still nostril deep in the case when Lestrade blundered in with the piss poor coffee of Scotland Yard.

"Any luck?" Lestrade motioned with a coffee cup in hand, leaning in to peek at what Sherlock was working on.

Sherlock reached out and took the proffered cup, ignoring the DCI's question and sipping on the scalding liquid. He winced and looked at the cup with vehemence, "I take sugar." He scowled at the detective.

Lestrade frowned, "Oh, sorry. This is yours." They switched cups and began sipping, happier with their desired brews. "So, recap?"

Sherlock sighed, exhausted, "Very well. The Sandman has killed three people now. First, the retired officer. Second, the trauma nurse. Third, the social worker." He ticked them off his long, slender fingers and stood abruptly. "What we know about The Sandman and his methods, is that he is efficient and brutal. He abducts people, specific people, in the night hours in order to remain unnoticed."

"And that helps us how?" Lestrade muttered.

Sherlock glowered and sipped his coffee, "The man is a sadist —,"

Lestrade snorted softly which interrupted Sherlock's speech, "Kairi making you watch  _Criminal Minds_  now?" Lestrade interjected, humor heavy in his voice.

Sherlock scowled, "Where I learn my information doesn't matter, but for your information, I did just happen to know what a sadist is prior to that," he snapped and Lestrade tried not to giggle, "the knowledge we have comes from the murders and how he takes his victims. We haven't been able to connect the victims, but they were all murdered just the same, with barely any deviation to his process — aside from the last killing. This means he is methodical, trained, a perfectionist. He has a steely control over his life and everyone in it — if he has anyone at all. The last murder must have been interrupted by something of great import if it derailed him from his usual routine."

"Okay, so how does that help us? His crime scenes are clean. We need evidence to link him, not conjecture." Lestrade sat sharply and stared at the files littering his desk.

Sherlock practically snarled at him, "Lestrade, you are being incomprehensibly idiotic."

Lestrade smiled wide, "That just happens to be my best division."

Sherlock rose a cold eyebrow, "Yes, I'm well aware of that."

Lestrade gave him a tight, appreciative smile, "Right then, what else?"

"His victims are eviscerated, skillfully and without hesitation," Sherlock glanced at the autopsy report again, smiling, "We know he has some sort of training, something that prepared him for this. People, even psychopaths, don't tend to just jump into murdering a bunch of people and slicing them up with such finesse and no hesitation."

"Right, well, that's true." Lestrade sighed and found a chair, "But you ruled out anyone in the medical profession."

Sherlock nodded and sighed, feeling dejected, "Correct. I did."

Lestrade shrugged, "Okay, well that's a significant dead-end. If not a medical professional with training, where on earth do you hone the skills to cut people up like that?"

Sherlock focused intently for a moment, something tickling at the back of his mind. He sat forward, leaning over the open files, scattered papers filled with, as of yet useless facts. Photos littered the expanse of the great wooden desk, painting a gruesome black, white, and blood stained picture.

He reached for some of the photos of the bodies, his fingers skimming the lines of the incisions, the boundary of the emptied body cavity, as if his fingertips would pick up some distinct fact his eyes had missed before. He closed his eyes, resting his hands on top of the photos with a deep breath and began to think.

_Not a doctor. Uses medical grade tools._

_Uses highly monitored drugs._

_Training necessary._

_No hesitation in incisions._

_Confidence._

_Hatred. Brutality._

_Bitterness._

_Anger._

_**Emotion**._

His eyes abruptly opened, "He targeted victims who helped people in their daily lives. Police, nurse, social worker." He began paging through reports again, "That has to be significant."

"He targets do-gooders? Is he an anti-vigilante?" Lestrade replied, pausing for a moment and muttering to himself with a smile, "Vigil-anti?"

Sherlock frowned deeply at the horrible pun, "I doubt it. He hasn't made any appeal to the public, he does not seem to court chaos or seek attention."

"Other than you, John, and Kairi, of course." They both sighed, "So you think it's personal?" Lestrade said thoughtfully, "You think we may have actually already interviewed him?"

Sherlock shook his head, "Doubtful. None of the victims' lives connected."

"Right." Lestrade spat and they remained silence for a few moments, staring at the photos on the desk with somewhat detached, thoughtful stares. "So?"

Sherlock shook his hand at Lestrade's words and began to think, "Dead end, ignore it." Lestrade simply nodded and leaned back into his chair, observing Sherlock's process.

Sherlock began to focus on the kill. Something about the kill was significant. It wasn't about the display, it wasn't about the brutality, all of that was forced down the throat and nose of anyone who came into contact with the body. The spectacle was for the killer himself, to show his prowess and power, to challenge a like-minded person to contest. No, there was something, something small in the details of the kill, something he caught but had yet to register, something that would hold some  _significance_.

"Give me your mobile." Sherlock commanded and held out his hand.

"Use the phone on my desk." Lestrade replied a little curtly in response to Sherlock's tone.

Sherlock scowled and then reached forward, grasping the phone and dialing the familiar number of Molly's mobile. It rang only twice until Molly picked it up, obviously frazzled.

"Sherlock!? What's wrong?" Molly muttered sleepily.

Sherlock glanced at the clock on the wall and rolled his eyes. Molly and John had certainly turned in early. Boring. "I need to discuss the body."

Molly yawned, "Don't you have my reports?"

Sherlock practically snarled, "I need to talk to  _you_  about the body."

"Oh." That seemed to wake her up. "Right then," she cleared her throat, "so, what is it you want to discuss?"

"Was there anything unique about how the body was dissected?" Sherlock replied.

Molly hemmed and hawed for a moment, "No, not really. It seemed rather standard procedure for removing organs — except of course the whole still being alive part."

Sherlock scoffed, "So you don't seem to think it was surgical?"

"No, not that at all. It was very reminiscent of a surgical procedure." He could hear Molly sigh, the quiet, soft sound of a painfully positive person weighed down by dark thoughts, "Clean cuts, sharp instruments — obviously the process itself was brutal, but it took finesse to not kill them straight away. It's impossibly easy to nick something in there that would cause a quick death if one wasn't careful."

"Right, so you think he's absolutely had to have some sort of experience or prior knowledge to accomplish this?"

"I'd venture to say at least medical school, or rather, some of it. He knows his anatomy and he knows his pharmaceuticals." Molly added with a yawn.

"Why do you say that? Medical school?" Sherlock was recalling something. Something else was grabbing at his thoughts.

"Well, he most likely didn't graduate otherwise we would be able to find him." Molly added, "Plus, despite the fact that what he did was done effectively, does not mean it met surgical standards. In medical school, you're trained on cadavers ad nauseum until its almost reflexive movement. Moving onto a living patient is a terrifying experience, no matter how good one is."

"Right." Sherlock added softly, doubt shadowing in his own ability to discern this puzzle . He pulled the phone from his ear, about to hang up on Molly, but his movement halted when all excess functions paused so his brain could process at its fullest power.

Images of the body, freshly discovered began to flow through his mind. He recalled every single wound, every curve and straight line the scalpel followed in exacting detail. He began to sort through various medical texts that he was familiar with, all of his own experience with dissections and something, something was  _there_.

Somewhere distant, he heard his name.

"Sherlock!" Lestrade finally shouted, gesturing at the phone that was halfway between his face and the handle. The strangled voice of Molly on the other line, suddenly afraid because Sherlock had stopped talking and she was assuming something bad happened.

"Molly?" Sherlock began, bringing the phone back up to his ear right as she began to shout his name.

"Oh, yes?" Molly replied, not missing a beat.

"Is it at all possible that the abdominal incision originated at the pubic symphysis?" He said quickly.

It took a moment for Molly to respond, which felt like an eternity to Sherlock, "Well, yes it's possible, why?"

"Is there anyway to tell for sure?" Sherlock asked.

"Yes, the skin around the incision site would be dimpled slightly, looking like a puncture because of the pressure involved —,"

"Yes, I understand." Sherlock muttered quickly and hung up the phone even faster. He grabbed all the autopsy photos and pulled them close, laying them all out so that he could inspect them. His fingers danced over individual photographs while Lestrade watched on, fascinated and a little afraid at Sherlock Holmes in his element. It was like being witness to the sort of humbling wrath of Mother Nature.

"What is it?" Lestrade almost whispered after an extended silence.

"The incision." Sherlock began, seeming distant, far off in thought. "The incision is a y-structure, much like that of an autopsy or some sort of invasive surgery. It is not common though, to open up the entire torso unless absolutely necessary. In most cases, though all doctor's end up adjusting their methods to their needs, the incision is commonly started in the upper part of the chest."

"Right." Lestrade added, sounding official, but it quickly withered, "And?"

Sherlock glared at Lestrade and tossed a photo at him, which Lestrade had much difficulty catching against his pant leg, "These incisions start in the lower abdomen, just above the pubic bone of our victims."

"That's significant?" Lestrade muttered, staring down at a photo where he didn't have much of an idea of what he was looking for.

"Of course it is!" Sherlock shouted and pulled out his phone to begin a smattering of research. He paced, back and forth in Lestrade's office, ignoring the detective's rambling sort of questions. He began typing in some information into a search engine, but his thoughts jolted to a stop. His eyes started blankly at his phone, consumed for the moment in the pixelated light that blurred in his vision. "These cuts…" He began softly, the words catching in his throat, "these are the cuts of a hunter." He looked up at Lestrade who was concentrating fiercely on his words.

"So we are looking for someone who has experience cutting up animals?" Lestrade sighed, "I mean, maybe not so frequent in London of all places, but hunting roots trace back generations, Sherlock. There are probably a lot of people who got taken out to the countryside during the summers to hunt with their families."

Sherlock shook his head, "No, this is an experienced, methodical hunter. This man not only stalks his prey but he completely annihilates them. This isn't the behavior of an impulsive maniac on a tirade — no, this is the artistry of a brilliant mind. This is a mission for him. These people are his prey, these people are the objects of his… _emotion_."

"You're mentioning emotion now?" Lestrade sounded indignant.

Sherlock swatted at him, "No, you don't understand, these killings are  _personal_ to him."

"So you think that he  _did_  know—,"

"Shut up! I need to think." Sherlock hissed. He grabbed his coat and pushed past Lestrade who was left sputtering and confused.

He made his way out to the streets of London. Without consciously deciding which direction to go, he began to walk. He handed over his steps to his automatic nervous system while he began to sort through this new development.

First, the victims and their abductions: the victims were long-standing members of the community, dedicated to serving the public and especially those in need. They were almost martyrs in the sense of their duties, as most people intimately involved with jobs serving society knew that dedication to the job sometimes became far stronger than dedication to family and self. These were devotions, lives offered freely to assist those in need. The Sandman  _hated_  them and Sherlock, for once in his life, needed to understand  _why_.

Second, their subjugation and immobilization: the victims were quietly overpowered, drugged and subdued. Once drugged, they were tied to the ground and paralyzed like animals preparing for slaughter. This was evidence of the need for utmost control of the situation. The Sandman had power and he used it - this would lead to them searching for an able bodied male.

Third, their ultimate death: Victims died due to the interaction of the drugs and probably a healthy dose of blood loss and shock. The Sandman had extensive knowledge of not only anatomy, but also drug interactions and the effect on the human body. Though research was readily available, why go to all the trouble of learning a new way to kill a person if one already had the means to complete it in an anonymous, yet fulfilling way?

Thus, the sandman would have to  _know_  that the drugs would keep the victims adequately immobilized, still, transfixed, as if already dead.

Ah.

He  _needed_  them to be kept still because he was more familiar with an immobilized subject. He  _wanted_  them alive during the process because he wanted to watch them suffer.

This was a man experienced enough to slice, dissect, and disassemble a body in an efficient and brutal way; a man that must have access to the victims; a man that would have access to drugs; a man that would have access to  _Sherlock._

And that was when Sherlock stopped.

The Sandman must also have access to  _Kairi_.

A hunter. A psychopath. A different sort of breed than Sherlock normally sought out.

He turned on his heel, automatically logging his location and formulating the quickest route back to Scotland Yard, before pulling out his phone and dialing a very familiar number.

"We need to get to Kairi." Sherlock growled into the receiver as he began to stride across the street, easily maneuvering around the sparse people still left out in the night.

"What has she gotten into now?"

"I'll explain on the way. We need to get to her quickly. She's in danger and —,"

"All right." Was the only response.

Sherlock's voice seemed frozen in his throat, he was scared and he was  _angry_. He swallowed down the emotion, he would not put Kairi in a position where she could be threatened again. He would not let her fall prey to this new breed of hunter. He shut his eyes tightly and muttered a quick thank you before hanging up.

His last act before he started sprinting back to Scotland Yard was to send a very short text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
> 
> love me pls.
> 
> updates soon :D


	23. Chapter 23

Terrence was pulling Kairi along through too many twists and turns for her to keep track of. She couldn't help but keep glancing around, waiting for Henry to jump out around the next corner wielding a cleaver or machete. It didn't help that this entire situation was like something out of a horror film — giant, shadowy, silent manor and all. Thank god she had kept her pants to herself or else they'd both be so absolutely dead. Of course, she was hardly a virgin, but she was pretty sure that adage was out dated anyway. Her slight attempts at reassurance were not completely successful and she still had a steely grip on Terrence's hand, all thoughts of impropriety long gone and overrun by absolute terror.

The last thing she ever wanted to do, ever again, was end up toe to toe with yet  _another_  absolute psychopath. She didn't think she'd be able to survive another round of something like that. She sighed heavily and was utterly thankful that Terrence turned up when he did. At least she was not alone. This terrifying moment, holding on to Terrence and running through the halls made her think back to Sherlock. She  _couldn_ _'_ _t_  die, after all they had been through, this surely couldn't be happening like this.

She was having a hard time breathing at this point and it wasn't because of the pace they were keeping. Her chest was wound like a drum, her breathing was shallow and sharp and her stomach broiled almost violently. She was sure in the next few moments that she would most likely throw up the paltry amount of food in her starved stomach. They continued to wind through shadow filled halls, Terrence pausing every few steps, listening for something Kairi was too terrified to hear. Every vein seemed to be pumping acid through her system. She felt like she couldn't focus, couldn't breathe, her mind was a violent sort of static that made her ears want to bleed. The world was contracting and expanding around her so rapidly, it felt like matter itself was beginning to cease to exist.

"Terrence…" Kairi managed to beg through her gasp. He turned back to look at her, confusion in his eyes rather than concern.

He stopped in what he deemed a safe place and Kairi dropped to her knees and wretched up whatever acrid bile was left in her stomach. She dry heaved for a few moments, anxiety twisting every fiber in her being and choking her. She was frozen and vaporized all at the same time, her body was going into sensory overload, the trauma, the fear, everything was so familiar and there was that poignant feeling, a sickening familiarity to the fear flowing through her veins. This compelling cataclysm that raged within her just brought back so much untempered agony.

"Kairi," He whispered, "We need to go."

Kairi hacked in some air and shivered at the sensation of it filling her lungs, the exhale came out as a sob and Kairi was just so afraid, "I can't."

"Shit." Terrence spat out, Kairi would almost call it angry. "We need to go,  _now._ " His voice was firm.

Kairi couldn't look at him as she rocked back onto her heels. Her arms wrapped around her knees and she hugged herself, "I can't, I can't, I can't…" She continued, softly, like a child seeing a monster in the shadow of her bedroom closet.

"Well, fuck." Terrence rasped and grabbed on to the forearm wrapped around her knocking knees.

"Wha-?" Kairi managed before being yanked to her feet. Her knees wouldn't follow the same path as her hips and she leaned heavily on Terrence who was gripping her arm fiercely, to the point of pain. She tried to adjust but he wouldn't let up on his pace, so she stumbled along, her shoulder stretching and her ankles rolling on themselves. The effects of the panic and the resulting outburst had her in a muddy haze. Eventually, she got the sort of brain reboot that happens after adrenaline pumps through the body twice before there's even time to complete a full sentence. Her limbs felt ultimately spent and she almost couldn't stay awake, until she felt the sharp pang of nails digging into her flesh.

Something instinctual surged through Kairi. An all too familiar pain, something that registered at the base of her brainstem and bellowed  _FIGHT_ into her bloodstream. She was finally able to dig in her heels and slow them down to a stop. Terrence seemed incredibly agitated, nervous even as he glanced around.

"Kairi." He urged, his voice strained, angry.

Something was nagging at Kairi's mind, exhausted, burnt out and stretched too many directions for too long. It burned her though, forcing her to pump a little more blood into that big brain of hers and straighten herself out. She didn't feel safe, she felt scared, her head hurt and she was starving. If she ate anything she'd be sick and she hadn't slept a full night in weeks. She was generally pissed off, but mostly she was just terrified. Nothing surmounted that fear in the moment, it was like she couldn't escape the monster chasing her.

But there was one thing, one single thing that seemed to reignite Kairi's failing system and it was the look in Terrence's eyes. He appeared agitated, gnawing on his nails in a very ungentlemanly fashion. He was definitely nervous, glancing around in all directions and trying to keep her quiet. But there was one thing, one tiny, yet obvious detail that previously evaded her: he did not look  _scared_.

Kairi attempted to take a step back but Terrence held fast to her wrist. She grit her teeth as tears pooled in her eyes, "Let me go." She ground out.

Terrence narrowed his eyes at her, "We need to move."

"Let me go, now." She forced out, past the knot in her chest. "Mycroft's man should get here soon and he can help us."

"Help us?" Terrence looked as if he were about to laugh, "How the hell is he going to help us against a maniac who overdoses people and slices them to bits!?"

"He'll have a gun. Mycroft will already have men on the way because you texted him." She added, pulling back gently to test the ironclad resistance of his grip. "We don't need to outrun him, we just have to hide. You know this place better than anyone don't you?"

"Yes." Terrence nodded.

"Good, then we just have to stay out of his way until the Calvary comes." Kairi added softly, "Now please, let me go."

Terrence shook his head as she turned to pull her down the hall, "No, we stay close."

With his back turned, Kairi let the tears she was holding in begin to fall. She did her best to control her breathing, hoping the clumsy nature of her feet would dampen the sound of her sobs. Terrence of course, didn't seem bothered by Kairi's emotional exploits, somehow already familiar with the way a person reacts when they face a gruesome death.

No matter how painful the realization was, she could not refute the evidence. The news had never released that The Sandman had been overdosing his victims to intentionally cause their deaths - only that he drug and maimed them. Now that she thought on it, Terrence had just as much going against him as Henry did, but Henry was not here now, gripping her arm and digging his nails into her skin. Hunting, psychological stress, means of access for the paralytics, anonymity through a busy lifestyle that was highly and effectually monitored; Terrence could just as easily been the one to hone in on Sherlock during the first investigation — did he not know the elder Holmes brother well? Kairi got mixed up accidentally, but getting drawn back in through Mycroft, Terrence had every available resource to taunt both her and Sherlock with only half the effort. Life just seemed to line them up only to find the purest satisfaction in knocking them back down.

Her fear rebounded on her now, but it was no longer debilitating. She may have been a sobbing mess, but every fibre in her being prepared to fight. She did not die when she faced off against Moran, the ultimate monster under her bed, so she would not die here.

She resolved not to fall prey to the likes of him, Terrence Wentworth the somethingth. The Sandman.

When Terrence moved to turn a corner, Kairi dug in and planted herself firmly on the floor. She threw Terrence off-balance slightly and as he readjusted, she placed almost all of her weight on her back foot. He turned and saw the ferocity on Kairi's face, the outright determination she held in her eyes and his glance suddenly went cold with realization.

"Kairi…" He began, his voice all sugar and honey and poison to Kairi's ears.

She swung out the arm that was free and managed to land the fatty part of her palm close to Terrence's temple. He jolted back, stunned for only a flash before he swatted her hand away with a growl.

"Kairi." He snarled and yanked on her arm.

Kairi did her best to dig in her heels, pulling back as hard as she could manage, her soft soled shoes refusing to provide purchase as she slid in jolts along the marble floors. He smiled grimly, tilting his head infinitesimally with fascination in his eyes as he watched her struggle against his grasp, but it was quickly replaced by a cold glare. He pulled even harder on her arm, using his brute strength to overpower her.

This forceful tug on her arm was precisely what Kairi had been waiting for. Using the strength of his pull and every ounce of her opposing momentum, she launched herself at him, driving her knee into his gut and successfully knocking the wind out of him as he fell backwards. Without waiting for his body to drop, Kairi twisted her arm out of his grip and ran in the opposite direction of Terrence's gasping form.

She did her best to focus on running, creating distance, not bothering with side doors from the main hall. She tried to retrace her steps, to piece together the fragmented thoughts from her moments of absolute dread not so long ago. She had no idea why everything looked exactly the same in this damned home, but she'd be happy to burn it to the ground if she ever got out of it.

Her leg ached as she ran, her knee feeling like it was bone grinding against knives ever since she landed the blow to Terrence. She didn't care if she could never play ball again, she was glad she got him in the gut and was sure she hit a rib — if she could believe the pain in her knee, she'd done as much, if not more damage to him. Hopefully this would slow him down some.

As she turned a corner, she barely slowed to pull out her phone, staring down at the black screen and speaking softly, "Alarm4867— FUCK!"

She ran straight into a statue of human, bouncing off him slightly with a rush of air and a pop in her shoulder. Terrence, gripped her upper arms and threw her against the wall, all hardwood and marble cracking against the back of her skull and ripping the breath from her lungs. She gasped through the shockwave that rolled through to her toes and she slumped against the wall, knees knocking and the adrenaline rush and terror finally eclipsed by pain.

"Damnit Kairi!" He snarled at her, waving his arms as if he was upset that she'd made him do such a thing.

Kairi gasped in a breath, her vision swimming, "Terrence…"

"You know, Mycroft was right damnit, you're too smart for your own good." He snapped and knelt next to her. His hand raised slowly, touching the side of her face with fascination and regret, "It really wasn't supposed to be you."

Her shoulders slumped and she felt a pang in her shoulder where she'd collided with him, "Fuck," She breathed in. "You." She rasped out through clenched teeth.

He chuckled slightly at that, "Too damn smart and too damn good. You found all that evidence and pieced it together so brilliantly." He shook his head, "The mistake was, of course, believing that this was all Henry's doing."

She tried to bring in a shaky breath, but she was still dizzy and felt like bile was creeping its way back up again. She opened her mouth to add-on to her witty comeback from before, but he shushed her.

"Now, now," He grinned, "It's really a shame that it came to this," He held something in his hand and Kairi tried to focus, but it was too dark and too disjointed for her to put together. She tried to focus on what she thought was his face, glaring at him and hoping that she could at least muster a concussed sort of evil stare before he decided to kill her. "I was hoping you could be a friend during all this."

Kairi tried to look disgusted.

"No, not the murder bit," He started jokingly and sobered, "I thought you'd be a friend to me while I took care of my mother. You understand me that way." He smiled almost ruefully and he yanked a bit at Kairi's arm to keep her sitting up. "It was all finally turning around, I was going to help her, like I always wanted."

Kairi tried to focus on the words but nothing was making sense. She wasn't sure if she had even understood him.

"Unfortunately, we don't always get what we want, do we?" He stared into her eyes, willing them to focus for just a moment.

She narrowed her glare at him and focused in, catching a dark sort of glee in his eyes as she felt something on her arm pinch harshly.

"Now I don't want you to worry yourself too much now," He smiled and stood slowly, "You shouldn't really feel a thing in a few moments."

Kairi gasped in a breath, her entire frame rocked by terror. He'd injected her with something, one of the paralytics most likely, and she'd lose control of her body in moments. She did the only thing she could think of and she lashed out with the last bit of strength she had left and pounded the side of her fist into his nose.

He let out a blood curdling scream at that, somehow more frenzied than the one from his bruised rib. Kairi did her best to scramble away, rolling beneath his arms and using his thigh to help push-off of to get her more distance.

She scrambled to her feet and turned a sharp corner. Doing her best to choose randomly, she was trying to get her more and more distance, away from the madman, all the while screaming for Mycroft and Sherlock as she tried to run down the hall. Her legs was barely functional and she leaned more and more heavily on the wall with each step, her voice going from a shout to barely a hum. Her lungs seemed tight and heavy as she tried her best to gasp in a breath, but between her size and the running, the adrenaline, it had pushed the paralytic into her system faster than expected. She fell to her knees and tried to crawl, her arms giving out, unable to take the full pressure of her weight. She rolled onto her back and tried to scoot further away, but her arms were rubbery now, no longer under her control.

She managed to snake herself up to sitting, well, more like leaning halfway against the wall, her body twisted in an awkward desperation to just  _get away_. Her breathing was easier sitting up than it had been on the floor, but at this point she wasn't sure that it mattered. If he'd managed to slip her the regular dosage for his victims, she'd mostly likely be dead within the hour anyway from a heart attack — which, to be honest, sounded much better than suffocating from the weight of your own lungs or possibly being eviscerated. If he didn't manage to slip her the regular dose, she might be able to move within just a few minutes. She just had to stay quiet and stay hidden until then.

Her eyes were heavy and she was losing steam, her breathing was difficult and shallow. It felt like she could only muster up the strength to suck in a breath when she was literally on the brink of suffocation. Unfortunately, this also made for a very loud gasping sound that felt like it echoed along the marble halls to every square inch of this damned hell hole. Kairi swore to herself she'd never read Austen again if she ever got out of this.

She saw a shadow down the hall and something came out of her mouth that would be akin to a whimper. For a moment, she prayed that it could be Sherlock, but visibility was almost impossible. She couldn't move her head and she couldn't really focus her eyes in a functional way. Everything seemed to just swim around her.

"Now that was devious." The horribly familiar voice sang to her, "I'm really disappointed in you, in this." He sounded upset now, his breathing labored. She could hear him and she could almost see him, but she only had a very vague sensation of his presence in front of and around her. It was almost as if she was packed behind layers and layers of insulation that kept her just barely out of touch with reality.

He was in front of her now, maybe grabbing her face, her vision shook and she realized he was trying to get her to focus, but it was difficult. She was just so tired and it was so dark.

"Look at me." He snarled but it came to her as a purr. "I want to see you Kairi. I'll make sure its quick and painless."

Kairi tried to sob, she tried to scream. She wailed and thrashed inside of her mind, fighting with everything inside of her, but it didn't matter. She couldn't move. There was another pressure suddenly, on her face? Maybe her neck? All that she knew was that she could hardly breathe again. It was all tightness and darkness. She wanted to claw at this unseen force that gripped her and pulled her further and further down into a dimming void. The darkness was cold and it was burning her, like her skin was too tight on her frame. Her lungs were bricks now, cold and still, and she couldn't feel a thing.

There was darkness for a few fleeting moments. The pain was gone and she just felt like she was floating. There was just a serene sort of nothingness that surrounded her. She felt like she could hear the rapid beat of a heart, thumping and pumping, almost erratic, but strong. It got warmer then, comforted by the heartbeats, by the stillness. The beats began to slow into something rhythmic and almost peaceful and it soothed her.

She was sort of bathed in this perception, a warmth, spreading out all around. She couldn't say she felt it in her veins because it just sort of flooded her, a sweet, slow bathing of sensation that coated everything about her. It felt wonderful. It felt peaceful. She could handle this, if this was death.

And then, she felt coolness. She felt expansion. She felt  _stiff._

A crescent of dim light filled her vision and it surprised her, especially because she could still hear the heartbeats, she could almost feel them right out in front of her.

And that is when her eyes opened and she sucked in what felt like the biggest breath she'd had in months.

The heartbeat she focused on was nothing like a heartbeat at all, but rather a sickening crack and slush, that assaulted her senses. She tried to focus her vision, but her ability to function felt like it was returning at a snail's pace.

She sucked in another breath and let out a soft groan. Stiffening muscles felt like she'd been missing them for years, she shifted slightly and let her head loll to the side, causing her vision to blur and frantically readjust. This sudden movement sent a violent wave of nausea down her throat to the deepest pit in her gut.

What she saw shocked and saddened her. Terrence was on the ground, barely holding up his arms as he tried to refute the expertly animalistic blows being leveled at his face. He was a mask of blood and bone, bubbling breath and pathetic pleas between each landing of flesh on flesh. However, seeing him weak and subdued was not the part that disturbed her. It was the shadow that overtook him, all black and filled with brutality, unmasked by the faintest slash of pale skin buried beneath the rage on his distorted features.

"Sherlock." Kairi tried to say, but she wasn't quite sure what she got out. "Sherlock." She tried again. "Please."

She watched as Sherlock gripped the front of Terrence's shirt in hesitation, gritting his teeth with a righteous fury in his eyes that screamed of his inner battle. After exhaling a shaky breath, he slammed the man back down into the marble floor and a thundering crack shot through the pervasive silence. Sherlock dropped the limp form of Terrence to the floor where he stayed, motionless.

Sherlock clambered to his knees over the prone body and crawled over to Kairi's slouched form, blood from a cut on his head dripped down the side of his face to the corner of his lips where he nonetheless smiled wide, "Kairi, I'm here. They're coming." He said quietly, scooting closer, but not touching her.

"We," She gasped to voice each word, "need — to stop —meeting — like— this…" And she managed to crack a small smile.

Sherlock actually let a laugh bubble to the surface, "It appears, my dear, that we are a magnet for chaos."

"Shit — storm — lightning — rod." Kairi gasped out, with a little more control.

Sherlock smiled at her fondly, he reached up a hand, tentatively. He paused before he laid his hand against her skin "You wont hit me if I touch you, will you?"

Kairi grinned weakly, tears leaking out of her eyes now that she had the control to shed them, "Cant." She exhaled.

He grinned and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "Can you feel your legs yet?"

"No." She managed to whisper without choking on air, her head bobbed with faint control.

"Well, look at that, you moved your head. Does that make you happy?" He muttered unhelpfully with a twinkle in his eye.

She tried to scowl at him and opened her mouth to reply with something scathing before Lestrade turned the corner, gun and flashlight drawn, with police and paramedics in tow.

"Back here!" Sherlock shouted and the men all started jogging over.

Lestrade walked right up to them while holstering his weapon, he knelt next to her and almost jostled Sherlock from his place. He reached out slowly, his eyes wet as he placed a gentle hand on Kairi's splayed legs. "Are you all right?"

Kairi simply nodded, trying to reign in the joyous tears that streamed down her cheeks.

He shifted to look at Sherlock, "You?"

"Fine." Sherlock grumbled in response, not taking his eyes or hands off of Kairi's randomly twitching form.

Lestrade adjusted again, looking back to see what was left of The Sandman, "What the hell happened to him?"

Sherlock shot a sideways glance at the detective, "I haven't the faintest idea what you mean. I found him like that." Kairi twitched with a chuckle and then she let out a choked groan.

Lestrade deadpanned, "You mean to tell me you found him like this — and her? She's what, paralyzed? She managed to kick his arse here to sunday before her body became completely immobile?"

Sherlock's most adorable smile presented as his response.

Lestrade ground out an exasperated groan and looked at Kairi who was now able to slump forward, leaning on Sherlock who was close to her.

She pulled in a deep breath and managed a much better intonation this time around, "Self — defense."

Sherlock put a hand over his mouth to cover his laughter disguised as a cough and Lestrade rolled his eyes with overwhelming drama.

"Jesus, you two are hopeless." Lestrade muttered and looked down at them, Sherlock gazed at Kairi as if she were the sunrise and Kairi, smirked back at him with a half paralyzed smile, their eyes meeting in some sort of thankful mischievousness. He was so absolutely happy for them in that moment. They had finally found each other and he doubted much would ever get between them again.

Just then, Mycroft turned the corner, the strict level of concern written on his features when he encountered the scene was quickly squirreled away behind a glare a moment later.

Sherlock stood abruptly at the sounds of the familiar footsteps and Kairi attempted to reach for him, but it was mostly an uncontrolled flail.

"Sherlock…" She breathed, but he put out his hand, asking for her silence. She nodded and he paced towards his brother.

"Brother mi—," Another whip crack sounded through the halls as Sherlock punched Mycroft heartily in the jaw.

"Oh shit!" Lestrade yelled and the rest of the officers and paramedics on the scene gave a collective gasp as Mycroft and Sherlock went after each other in only the way brothers can.

"Sherlock!" Kairi shouted and let out a soft cry at the effort.

Rather than continue their scuffle, both men stopped short, glancing around at the room. Sherlock yanked his coat back into place as he turned his back on his brother and walked back towards Kairi with the shocked paramedics in tow. Mycroft wiped at the corner of his mouth with his pocket square and adjusted his hair and cuffs. As he tucked in the pocket square, he allowed himself a roll of his shoulders that accompanied a cracking sound in his neck.

Sherlock did not look back at his disheveled brother, but his lip twitched slightly in approval as he walked back over to Kairi and knelt next to her while the paramedics administered care.

"Shouldn't — have — done — that." Kairi breathed out.

Sherlock smirked while someone measured her blood pressure, "He shouldn't have thrown you at a serial killer he probably was suspicious of, like some sheep — to the, to — to the,"

"Wolves?" She smiled weakly and opened her hand for Sherlock's.

"He's lucky I didn't kill him." He grumbled when he ran his fingers over her pale knuckles.

"He — needed — me." She almost whispered but then leaned forward to his ear and spoke in a soft growl. "But — he's — mine."

Sherlock grinned fully this time, letting his other hand brush some of her wrecked hair out of her face.

"We need to take a look at you sir." One of the paramedics added as they got Kairi situated on a gurney.

"Please." Kairi breathed out, squeezing Sherlock's hand to let him know that she meant him.

He rolled his eyes and grumbled out an affirmative-ish answer, "Only if I can stay with her."

The paramedic shrugged and agreed with his compatriot that they did not mind that in the least.

"Right. Time to get your better." He muttered to her as they began rolling her down the hallway, "Molly was practically in fits."

She let out a long groan that sounded a lot like  _fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hooray! The conflict is DONE! I'm pretty proud with this chapter and finally giving Sherlock the opportunity to save the day! Though Kairi was in and out of fluid consciousness, I want you to know that Sherlock snuck in there all James Bond like and tackled Terrence which resulted in them engaging in fisticuffs and Sherlock beating the piss out of him... Yay for badass Sherlock!
> 
> And onto the next and final chapter - the wedding!
> 
> please please please pleeeeeeease leave me some reviews. I'm gasping.


	24. The End of the Beginning

"How's my hair?"

"Your hair is fine."

"Are you sure? You didn't even look at it."

"Yes, I'm sure. You make a ravishing bride."

"Piss off."

"You asked."

"I'm serious Sherlock, do I look, er suitable?" John said, turning to face the morose detective with desperation plainly on his features.

Sherlock sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. He stood and made his way over to John, walking around him slowly with a keen eye. He traced over every line of the rented tux and how it shaped to John's form, he checked the accessories, and was even happy to see that John had taken Sherlock up on his gift as the best man, and gotten himself a proper straight razor shave.

Sherlock paused in front of John who was gnawing on his thumbnail for the moment until Sherlock slapped his hand away, "Oi!" John growled.

Sherlock just huffed out some air and stared at John intently, "You meet and exceed all expectations Dr. Watson. Dr. Hooper will be ecstatic."

John, grumbling a bit, but trying to hide his smirk nodded his thanks, "I'm sure they're busy this morning, don't you think?"

"Yes," Sherlock replied with a certain weight to his words, "Yes, I do believe they will have their hands full," he sighed and then straightened, "though Kairi was making every single effort to ensure Molly's perfect day would not unravel."

John smiled warmly, "You know she really is something. She's done so much for us — even when you were away and she was hurting, she still did so much for me and Molly."

Sherlock nodded, a tightness to his throat his logical brain found distasteful, "Yes, she happens to be…well,  _something_." He finished with affection.

John smiled fully this time, "Do you think you'll get up here next?"

Sherlock shot him a narrow eyed look, tilting his head in contemplation, "What do you mean?"

John waved his hands about the dressing room to the old church, "All this," he smiled, "a wedding, a family at some point —  _domesticity_." He teased.

Sherlock's lip curled in revulsion for a moment, but thoughts of Kairi bathed in a flowing white gown, sharing a home with her, and the eventuality of giggling, floppy hair children running about his feet registered as something warm deep in his gut. He didn't allow himself to display this emotion and instead just shrugged, "We are taking things slowly."

John chuckled and clapped Sherlock on the arm, "You've taken that from a magazine or something."

Sherlock glared this time, "Well someone important must have said it at one point or another, doesn't matter if it's from a magazine." He turned towards the mirror as a dismissal and began to fiddle with his tie, "Besides, today is not about  _me_ ," he began with an exaggerated sense of annoyance, "it's about the  _lovely couple._ _"_ He looked up in the mirror, back over his shoulder to where John reflection was, his lips pressed together to stifle his laughter. Sherlock allowed himself a small smile.

"Well, you're right, I'll give you that. Today is all about me and Molly, so don't get any funny ideas about murder or beheadings or terrorist cells, you understand? They can wait a day — until we are on holiday and you go back to doing whatever it is you do." John chuckled, waving a warning finger.

Sherlock just sighed, allowing his body to aid his dramatic resignation, "Very well."

John grinned as Sherlock turned, they stood only a foot or so apart, both facing the one thing that brought them out of the initial darkness. For John, Sherlock had reminded him of purpose, of duty, of acknowledging your gifts and doing all you can with them. To Sherlock, John was the very essence of bravery, loyalty, and friendship. He did not know where he would be today without John Watson.

"This has been quite a journey." Sherlock began, flinching, the cliched words tasting like sick on his tongue.

John just chuckled, "Oh, don't you do that. Don't start acting like all this is over."

Sherlock gave him a sad sort of smile, "Your duty is to your family —,"

"And that includes you, you big git." John grabbed Sherlock's arm and squeezed, "You and Kairi and me and Molly, we're all a family. We have been for ages. Molly and I marrying just means we'll be having kids and we love each other, but it doesn't negate the fact that you and very much Kairi are a staple in our lives. None of us have huge extended families that we are close with," Sherlock practically snarled at the mere idea of it, "all of us need each other and despite it being woefully codependent, it doesn't really matter because it  _works_."

"So," Sherlock began, a smile twitching on his lips, "To family then?" He replied, lifting his head to meet John's eyes and he allowed John one of his most genuine smiles.

"Brothers." John replied and stuck out a hand.

Sherlock nodded, "Indeed." He added softly and took John's hand to shake it.

Once the grip tightened, John yanked him in for a tight hug and Sherlock seemed to lose all the air in his chest at the sensation. He tentatively wrapped his arms around John and they held on for a moment, misconstruing their sensitive nature and their deep bond as something shameful rather than something to absolutely celebrate. Neither of them were very good in the end with talking of such things. But today of all days, as they pulled away from the hug, a bit watery eyed and with tight smiles on their faces, they realized just how important they had become to one another.

"Thank you." Sherlock spat out as they pulled away, their hug only a whisper in the moments before.

John smiled, shuffling his feet, "For what?"

Sherlock bit at his lip, "For all of this. Your friendship, your trust."

John exhaled something that resembled a shaky breath and nodded, not sure if he could keep the emotion out of his voice. He cleared his throat and nodded again, "You're welcome, Mr. Holmes."

As they stared at each other in companionable silence, there was a knock on the door.

Sherlock just grinned, "Well then, it seems someone is in need of a doctor."

"You're deplorable," He chuckled and then exhaled heavily, his breath shakier than before as he nodded to Sherlock, words completely lost on him through the excitement.

"Wouldn't want to keep the missus waiting, would we?" Sherlock chuckled and John just gutted out a very frantic sort of laughter. "Everything will be perfect."

John shot him a sarcastic sort of scoff and then shrugged, "Well, I know that. Look at us."

Sherlock just laughed.

* * *

"I'm going to throw up."

"You are not."

"Am too! Look, I'm shaking!"

"It's because you haven't eaten."

"I'm not hungry! I just told you I was going to throw up!"

"You need  _something_  in your stomach."

"Yes, something to hork up all over John's shoes!"

"Come now, just have a bit of this smoothie, I promise, you won't puke."

"How do you know!?"

Kairi just giggled, "I'm an expert puker. If its genuine puking then your body has a way of shutting it down, plus you look too pretty to puke!"

Molly shot her a frown with her delicately curved brows, her eyes vibrant beneath the dark wing of her eye liner and above the warmth in her cheeks. "Am not."

Kairi just grinned from ear to ear, "Are too." She punctuated the point by poking Molly on the nose and then handing over the cup full of pulverized juice and veggies. "Drink some of it, not all. Just so you have something in your stomach. You won't puke, but if you don't eat, you  _will_  pass out, you gorgeous thing."

"Oh stop." Molly flushed as she wrapped ruby lips around the straw of her drink.

"It's your wedding day, I'm pretty sure I have a legal obligation to tell you that you're pretty." Kairi harped back as she busied herself around the room. "Finish that up and we will get you into your dress."

Molly rolled her eyes, her only reply as she sucked down more of her drink.

They went through the arduous process of putting on finishing touches for the bride back at the hotel. Now that hair and make up were complete and touched up, Kairi and Molly soaked up the opportunity for one on one time. Most of it was spent building up Molly and trying to get her to relax. Even enough to just take a sip of water and help her breathe. Molly's excitement and anxiousness were always so wound up in one another. Despite the fact that she was overwhelmingly excited to be married to one of the greatest men on the planet, it was still such a nerve wracking thing to face.

Kairi just smiled at her as she began to clean up, sorting through make up and clothes and hair products used for the final preparations. In a long garment bag, hanging up on the door to Molly's private suite (that she shared with Kairi the night before on their last "single girls" sleep over), shining like a beacon in the afternoon sun beaming through the windows was  _the_  dress. Kairi stared at it in awe, she loved the fact that it was just so absolutely perfect for her pathologist.

Molly let out a tiny burp that threw the girls into a fit of giggles as Kairi rushed back to her to sit, holding each others hands and just smiling back at one another.

"I'm just so happy for you." Kairi began but Molly shook her head vigorously, waving her hands at the programmer and trying to shush her.

"Don't you dare, don't you dare make me cry when I'm finally all done up. I will cut you!" Molly teased and Kairi just beamed. "I know how to do it and make it look like an accident!"

"Trust me, that shit on your face is like industrial strength lacquer. Nothing short of a typhoon will mess up that make up." Kairi chuckled and helped Molly to stand.

"Trust me, if those tears start falling, I won't be able to stop. Say nice things about me later, when we are pleasantly buzzed and dancing like idiots." Molly chuckled and began to unwrap her plush white robe.

Kairi squealed in excitement at the lingerie Molly had on. An absolutely gorgeous silk slip of a thing that managed to hold her up in all the right places and smooth over everything else like water over river stones.

"Oh Molly, you'll kill him." Kairi muttered tearily.

"Don't jinx it all!" Molly chuckled as Kairi ran off to grab the dress, bounding back over with the garment bag in hand.

"All right, all right, let's just get you buttoned up in this lovely thing then." Kairi chuckled.

As they re-robed Molly, in the long lace brocade, her skin seemed to glow, her cheeks flushed perfectly, and her eyes reflected back at Kairi gazing in absolute awe.

"You are beyond perfect." Kairi managed to choke out.

"No, no, no…" Molly tried to whimper in response, the tears she was fighting back were over powering her. "You can't cry — if  _you_  cry,  _I_ _'_ _ll_  cry! Stop it!" She croaked out.

Kairi waved her hands at Molly's face, trying to dry the tears in a futile attempt at helping, "It's fine, we're all fine, we don't need to be babies about how much we love each other."

Molly let out a sob and a giggle, "I do love you so much. Everything you've done… You're so important to me."

Kairi nodded softly and gripped Molly by the upper arms, "You are my best friend Molly Hooper and I am so beyond happy that we found each other. You are beautiful, you are brilliant, and you are so, so,  _so_  wonderful."

Molly smiled wide, her eyes glancing up to the ceiling because of the tears pooling in her eyes. Once she calmed, she raised her hands to grip Kairi's arms in return, "If I weren't afraid of ruining something, I'd hug you."

Kairi just laughed, "How 'bout a kiss then? For old times sake?"

Molly smiled and nodded, holding back her tears and her laughter as they leaned forward, pressing their cheeks against each others' and kissing them gently.

"Thank you, love." Molly whispered in a strangled voice.

"Thank  _you_." Kairi replied.

Then there was a knock on the door.

* * *

After lining up and joking around, the procession was ready to begin. Friends and family filled the small church to the brim. Its possible it was a little more populated on Molly's side compared to John's — simply because of the general magnitude of the Hooper Family tree. The decorations were muted but elegant, with a small smattering of flowers lining the walkway down the center isle with lit tea candles to provide a forgiving sort of light to follow down the path.

The flower persons and ring bearers were up first when the song began to play. Kairi peeked out of the door her and Molly were hiding behind to spy the last few stragglers that came wandering in. Janine had turned to see them and shot them a thumbs up, signaling everything was ready to go.

"Okay, this is it sweetie!" Kairi smiled wide and turned on Molly who was looking pale.

"What if I trip?" Molly squeaked.

"Lestrade will catch you and toss you over his shoulder, striding down the isle like a Knight of the Round Table to return the fair maiden to his king." Kairi rebuffed.

Molly smiled and then she frowned, "So wait, in that scenario, did I run away?"

Kairi shook her head, "No, you were captured, duh!" She swooned slightly, placing the back of her hand against her forehead and continuing in a very passionate baroque tone, "Overwrought by despair and all of your escape attempts against the wicked wizard, you lost your strength at the last moment. But your king will nurse you back to health."

Molly scoffed, "Are we really having this conversation at my wedding?"

Kairi straightened with a devilish smile on her face and nodded, "You bet your sweet tits we are!"

Molly chuckled, "Okay, okay, go. Send Lestrade back here. I'll annoy him for a bit while you walk."

Kairi just grinned, "I will." She leaned in for another lipless kiss on Molly's cheek and then opened the door just a crack to slip out.

She wandered over to where Lestrade and Janine were whispering something that looked suspiciously lecherous and tapped him on the shoulder, "The bride needs you." She smiled and Janine just winked and made her way to stand at church's entrance.

"Right," Lestrade grinned and leaned into Kairi, kissing her gently on the cheek, "you look amazing love."

Kairi grinned and returned the kiss, "You don't look half bad yourself."

He twisted his grin slightly and nodded, "I do clean up nice. But wooo, you should see good old John and Sherlock up there. Gussied up and looking sleek, I might say."

Kairi just chuckled, "Duty calls gorgeous, take care of my girl in there. I told her you'd throw her over your shoulder if she trips, so make sure you at least try to make her look good and don't steal the show."

"Oh, that may be difficult." Lestrade muttered, adjusting his tie in a smug way. Kairi laughed and he just winked and shot her his signature dashing grin, "It's hard being this pretty."

Kairi rolled her eyes, "Oh, what a burden your life must be."

He chuckled and turned to walk away but stopped himself. He faced her abruptly and rested his hand on her bare shoulder looking quite serious, "You know, now that you and Sherlock got another crazy off the never-ending list, it might be time to start working towards," he mused for a moment with a slick grin, "happier things."

Kairi narrowed her eyes at him, "Oh really? What kind of happier things?"

Lestrade just shot her a smug sort of grin and turned to walk away. After he got a few steps out, he paused and looking back over his shoulder, he smiled, "You knock him out, you hear me? If he doesn't propose within the year, I may think about getting down on one knee myself."

Kairi blushed furiously at the implication, Sherlock,  _proposing._  And then of course, the thought of Greg doing the same. It was too much for her primitive lizard brain to handle, "Oh you will?" was her incredulous reply.

Lestrade just shrugged and rolled his eyes, "Seemed to work out okay last time, didn't it?" He gave her an impish sort of smile and then jogged away to Molly, leaving Kairi slightly annoyed and slightly breathless. Greg Lestrade wanted Sherlock to propose to her.

What an odd sort of life she led.

She positioned herself at the entrance doors. She would be the last to walk before Molly made her way down the isle. The soft music was playing, a peaceful, warming sort of tune for the piano that Kairi had suspicions of being written by a certain mop haired detective. She waited for the church assistant to give her the go ahead and she nodded. Smiling softly, she began taking her steps down the isle with the small bouquet of dark blue bolero pansies and baby's breath wrapped in a white ribbon. Each step coincided with a beat and it took all her courage to glance around at the surrounding family and friends, nodding and smiling as she made her way down an isle that somehow held a force of foreboding.

When she finally looked up and she saw him, she just about died.

Seeing Sherlock, with his unruly hair, grumbling about trying on the suit had been an experience to say the least — he'd looked good, but every so often that talking of his would get in the way and annoy her. But on this day, he had deigned to comb his hair for once and it curled to the side instead of falling down over his forehead in a mess of curls. No doubt within minutes of the ceremony's end, it would be back to its usual gnarly style — at least if Molly didn't have anything to do with it. He was clean, shaved, and actually looked rested, his eyes focused and present on what was happening around him. Until that moment he probably had been deducing everything he could about the people who had arrived — no doubt looking for the mysterious Harry they had heard almost nothing about. But once she had started walking, his eyes were firmly planted on nothing other than her.

It was an oddly intimate moment to share at their best friends' wedding; the happiness, the love, the meaning behind the day always did seem to enchant some people. Who would have known it would have enraptured the heartless Sherlock Holmes most of all?

Kairi breathed, trying to focus on other members of the group. She looked at Janine for a mere few seconds, but the smug, stupid grin on her face as she glanced at Sherlock and back to her was enough to make her stomach roll.

It wasn't that she didn't want to marry Sherlock, she knew she wanted to spend her life with him, but she had this weird sort of compulsion to never do what people always told her she  _should_  do — and whatever else was there to most people? Women were made for marrying and babies, no place in the working world with all of their  _feelings_  and such. That was enough to make her want to vomit on its own, but for goodness sake, she couldn't help but  _want_  to see just what Sherlock would look like if it was her sauntering down the isle in a beautiful gown.

Perhaps that is what free will was then? Getting to choose one's path, despite the fact that what one want may also coincide with some of the more banal societal expectations. It was an odd realization, but nonetheless a comforting one.

Then it was to John. Oh, John looked  _perfect._ His tux fit him like a dream, a bit old-fashioned but ultimately dapper. It squared his soldier's shoulders, standing straight and tall, proud as he ever could be as he watched Kairi walk down the isle. Soon, his bride would make her way down that very path and all of this, today, it would be the culmination of months of work and stress.

And every ounce of it was worth it. All of the fragmented pieces of life and love and pain, it all came together in such perfect moments like  _this_. It was beautiful.

Kairi choked back her tears and happiness. She made her way across to the side with Janine. She glanced back over to Sherlock who was still gazing at her, a gentle smile on his lips as he looked her up and down. She tried desperately not to blush in front of the large crowd and she prayed that Janine could keep in all the jokes until the end of the ceremony. The Chaucer sort of whispering Janine had perfected could not be tolerated in church on such a day.

The music silenced and the entire room was quiet. It was eerily calm, looking around at everyone, poised and holding their breath as the doors to the church slowly closed in preparation for Molly to take her place.

Everyone seemed charged in this moment, held still in anticipation and excitement. Kairi looked about, watching family and friends whisper and smile to each other. Hands were being held, tissues were being dispersed and everyone was  _ready_.

The music coincided with the slow opening of the doors as the congregation came to stand and there was Molly in all her glory. The entire church froze and an mild gasp rolled through the crowd closest to the bride, all the way back up to where John was standing, gazing back up the isle at the vision that would be his wife. Kairi watched him, his mouth popping open gently in disbelief, a small huff of air escaping his lips, and his eyes widening with unshed tears. He just looked so perfectly  _happy_.

Kairi could barely contain the tears that wanted to escape, but she managed. She watched carefully, flickering between John and Molly who were holding so tightly to their emotions just so that nothing got in the way of them just gazing at each other. It was perfect.

Kairi straightened up and turned as Molly and John came together with Lestrade at their sides. He had given Molly over to John with a squeeze of hands and teary kisses and then shot a wink at Kairi before retreating to the groom's side. As they turned their back on the congregation and everyone sat down, Kairi caught Sherlock's eye again and he smiled at her.

 _I love you_. She mouthed as discreetly as possible, with a blush rising on her cheek.

 _I love you too._  He replied with eyes that she swore looked slightly teary.

As they turned to face the priest, all moves rehearsed and accounted for, Kairi couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Hours upon hours later, the reception was in full swing. The bride and groom had their first dance, with Sherlock playing the violin for the whole room, hauntingly beautiful and driving absolutely everyone to tears while the blissful couple held on tight and waltzed around the dance floor with the biggest smiles in human history on their faces.

People were at varying stages of drink and undress now, but at least everyone seemed to be having a good time. Lestrade was cutting a rug nearby Janine and Mrs. Hudson — who flat-out refused to be left out of the frivolities, damn her hip to hell and back! John was standing at the bar, chatting with an old army buddy and sharing happy stories of days gone by. Kairi and Molly were writhing on the dance floor doing something that was supposed to resemble dancing, but they had naught a care in the moment as they laughed and spun around each other in exaggerated movements.

Sherlock watched on from the corner alone, a practically untouched whiskey in his grip and the cravat from his tux lost somewhere in the decorative shrubbery.

"Brother mine."

Sherlock gripped the cup in his hand to a painful degree upon hearing those words, white knuckles and creaking glass between his fingertips. He turned slowly, eying Mycroft carefully and smiling briefly when he saw the bruise along Mycroft's jaw.

"Brother." Sherlock replied, using the same inflection one would use to say  _feces_.

Mycroft's lip twitched in amusement, "Glad to see you letting loose, enjoying yourself." He nodded to the glass in Sherlock's hand and glanced at the errant curls now escaping the captivity of their stylistic chains, and lastly, the missing tie.

"Hardly, dear brother." Sherlock almost hissed. He was still quite livid with Mycroft. His brother, the devious mastermind who most likely knowingly put Kairi within the grasp of a serial killer — all because of a hunch.

"Are you still upset?" Mycroft seemed nonplussed, almost joking.

Sherlock turned slowly, facing his brother with the full brunt of his rage, "If not for Kairi finding out about the file, he would have killed her because you put her in his path."

Mycroft smiled gently, "That is grossly over generalized. Rather, because Kairi found the file, she was put in harms way and it was evaded by your  _brilliant_  detective work." His tone sarcastic and almost cruel.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes, "If not for your impromptu reveal of Terrence's medical background, I never would have even deduced it. His behavior was completely incidental — Henry is a perfect example of how this could have gone wrong." He let out a feral sort of growl, "That man was absolutely intent on murdering people in service industries! He viciously gutted three people because they were  _nice_." Sherlock scoffed, absolutely affronted, "Kairi is one of the most genuinely helpful people who you or I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. She is ruthless with her loyalty and  _you_  put her in the way of a psychopath!" He scoffed, "To me, he would have been just another wealthy, miserable despot, with too many carcasses as trophies in a big phony house on a hill who just happened to employ and most likely murder the woman I am devoted to." Sherlock tried to steady the wrathful tremors that started in his gut, "Your arrogance almost killed her!"

Mycroft chuckled bitterly at that, "If not for Kairi finding the file, he would have continued to behave as he was wont to do. I have it under good authority he was going to stop once his mother was in his care."

Sherlock gripped his glass tighter and turned away to refrain from tossing the damn thing in Mycroft's face, perhaps to even out the bruises, "What after that then, hm? Do you believe he would be at peace once his mother finally withered away into nothing? You don't think his bitterness and rage over a life he despised would have haunted innumerable innocent people for as long as he could hold a knife?" He laughed outlandishly at Mycroft and finished with a very familiar, patronizing smile, "You claim to be the smart one and yet you don't realize that because of your own sick, twisted curiosity, you would have put a person you  _care_  for at risk simply to find an answer."

Mycroft sneered, "Come now, don't pretend you wouldn't have done something similar, if not the same, if you had known who Terrence was." He finally spat out, obviously scathed by Sherlock's speech and Sherlock clenched his jaw to keep from shattering the glass in his hand.

He turned, his anger level soon reaching apoplectic as he glared at Mycroft with pure hatred in his eyes, "I would not be so foolish as to endanger a person I care about in order to uncover the truth."

Mycroft sniffed out a laugh, "Wouldn't you? How many times have you put doctor Watson in the line of fire in order to achieve a means to an end? You are no saint, brother dear. She was the best person for the job and you of all people should know that."

Sherlock bristled, "What John has done to aid a case has usually been of his own free will," he insisted. "Kairi is not a — a — a  _soldier_." He hissed, his eyes leaving Mycroft's pedantic glare to watch her swirl around the dance floor with Molly.

Mycroft only smiled, a coy set to his lips as he rocked back on his heels, enraging Sherlock further before he finally spoke, "Is she not?"

"No!" Sherlock snarled, glaring at his brother.

Mycroft simply rose an eyebrow, "She has weathered far more hardships than almost anyone I know. She is stronger than I think even you expect, baby brother."

Sherlock's lip curled at the sarcastic endearment, "I have no desire to test the limits of her strength, Mycroft. If you place her in danger —,"

Mycroft chuckled, "It's not likely your choice, Sherlock. She has every ounce of control over her life and you have none. You have no say in what she does or who she sees."

Sherlock scoffed at the backwards implication, "I have no desire to  _own_  her Mycroft, I'm  _well_  aware of her autonomy. She has every right in the world to do as she pleases, but  _you_ ," he growled, facing his brother and closing the distance between them, "you have no right to put her into that sort of situation without her consent. She is not a spy and you are not God."

"I think there's a few people who may argue with that."

Sherlock and Mycroft turned slowly to see Kairi standing before them, a foot smaller and barefooted on the edge of the dance floor. Her skin was flushed and her hair was pulled out of her face for the reception, a thin sheen of sweat accumulated all over from hours spent dancing and laughing.

"Both of you need to stop acting like pricks." She stepped forward and pushed between them to make them step back. She placed a hand on Sherlock's chest, "Listen, if Mycroft would have come to me and asked for help, I probably would have if it meant saving someone's life. That  _is_  my choice." Sherlock nodded solemnly, but not before shooting Mycroft a cold glare. Kairi turned to Mycroft, "Look, I love working for you and all, but I think I've got too much intrigue in my life as it is with this one." She flicked a thumb towards Sherlock who smiled.

"Kairi —," Mycroft began, but Kairi raised a hand to silence him — everyone present was surprised that he actually stopped speaking.

"I'm putting in my two weeks Mycroft. Your work gives me a lot of challenge, but I need to branch out. I need to find something  _I_  connect with." She finished, "You've got two weeks for a replacement. I can help with that, but after, I'm gone."

Mycroft seemed defeated for the moment but he squared his shoulders and glared at his brother for a second before addressing Kairi, "Consultation?"

Kairi shrugged, "On a case by case basis, perhaps."

He nodded, "Very well Ms. Aria. I find this regrettable, but it seems that I have no choice but to acquiesce."

"You bet your fancy-ass pants," Kairi chuckled, "And don't think you're getting off Scott-free for all this." She waved at her body which was thankfully back in working order after the resulting weeks worth of stress and of course, the near death experience. "Mummy will be rightfully disappointed when we come by for Christmas."

There was a widening to Mycroft's eyes that she'd never seen before — panic maybe? He hid it quickly enough, back under his seemingly effortless exterior of nonchalance. He rolled his shoulders and cleared his throat, "I hate to imagine nothing could be done to —," he paused, thinking of something diplomatic no doubt, " _alleviate_  the possible tensions that knowledge would create during the holiday season?"

Kairi bit her lip to keep the smile from forming, "Sorry, seems Mummy already knows — don't know how that happened —,"  _Sherlock_ , "but she had sent me a get well basket while I recovered. So you're already neck-deep."

Sherlock watched Mycroft's reaction as if Christmas had come early.

Mycroft frowned, sighing heavily, "Now it seems there is another threat status I must upgrade." He eyed Sherlock and Kairi heavily for a moment and then just flitted his hand at them before walking away, obviously done with the situation, but no less entrenched in it.

"Aw, did you hear that? He called me a threat!" Kairi squealed as she turned to a smiling Sherlock. "It's almost like he thinks he's human."

Sherlock chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him so he could place a gentle kiss on her head. "I love you." He muttered against her silken hair.

Kairi laughed and leaned into him, "I know."

Sherlock pulled back, looking suspicious, "Did you just Hank Solo me?"

Kairi rolled her eyes and wriggled out of his grasp, "First of all, its  _HAN_  Solo, not Hank." She glowered, pointing an accusatory finger right in his face, "Second of all, you bet your sweet ass I did." Then she poked him in the chest with a stiff little finger and he winced, "Third, look at you with all of your pop culture references and public displays of affection." She eyed him up and down, a raised eyebrow and disbelief on her face, "Are you drunk?"

Sherlock let his eyes roam over her for a moment, slowly trailing along the arc of her breasts and hips, then the hem of the dress that clashed so perfectly with her pale skin. She was radiant and commanding for such a small, barefooted creature. He could easily imagine his fingertips along her spine or possibly tracing the bow of her lips with his own. Watching her, the coy smile, the devilish gleam in her eyes, the way she cocked her hip just so when she was expecting an answer from him. She was perfection and he concluded that he had been altered, viscerally, chemically, from the day that he began to bond with her.

"It's possible." He shrugged, finally bringing the whiskey to his lips for a sip.

She bit her lip and grinned, "All right then, I have an idea." She reached out a hand to him, "Trust me?"

Sherlock shot her a playful glare and stayed silent for a moment, but he quickly conceded, "Yes, of course."

Kairi beamed at him, a smile so bright it shone vividly through every single room of his mind palace, forever ameliorating each and every space with her general  _goodness_  to him. "Suck that down, I have a plan!"

He quickly gulped the whiskey down, ignoring the burn, and she tugged at his arm so hard that he barely had time to place the cup down before she was sprinting along the edges of the room with him in tow, heading for the exit of the ballroom.

He followed her, weightless and childlike as they maneuvered themselves through the groups of well wishers and drunken family members. Kairi had swung back to their table to grab her shoes and coat while the DJ played some generic wedding song that required audience participation.

And Sherlock just trailed along behind her, in the moment and happy.

She brought him outside, to a smoking area and pulled out her pack of cigarettes — thankful that most of the party refrained from the abominable habit so they could have a moment's peace.

"It's been a while since we've shared a cigarette." She smiled as she walked into the open expanse of the patio, lit with twinkling lights and warmed by heaters. She opened her arms and turned slowly in the brisk evening air, closing her eyes and hearing the music floating through the windows and walls. She stopped herself, turning to face Sherlock with a smile on her face and a heady look in her eyes.

"I would think that's a good thing." He followed her with measured steps.

She chuckled and pulled out her case of cigarettes and favored lighter, "Not to someone with a nicotine addiction."

He grinned and held out a hand where she placed her smoking gear. They both lit up in silence, inhaling and exhaling into the cold night air.

"You know," Sherlock began, "you and I…" He started but wasn't quite sure where to go with it.

Kairi smiled, "Go on." She was encouraging and not teasing, flashing a genuine smile as she watched him carefully through the haze of smoke.

Sherlock sighed and turned to face her, "You are… integral to me."

Kairi raised an eyebrow, "That's a new one for romance." He rolled his eyes at her and she tried not to laugh, "All right, I'm sorry. Go through your process and figure out what you want to say, okay?"

He seemed agitated but exhaled his frustration, "I find myself questioning more and more how well you fit into my life. It is confusing to say the least, but not surprising. I care for you, and I do so with every ounce of my being." He looked back over to her, watching her intently as she absorbed his words. "I don't quite know what to do with you — or myself."

She smiled in response.

"I feel as if we are at a crossroads," he stated firmly, placing the lit cigarette between his lips, "and I don't wish to be separate from you."

Kairi took a step forward, "Me either, Sherlock."

He nodded, "There's something, something I want to do, something I want to try, that I've never done before."

"Okay, what's that? In regards to our relationship?" Kairi replied, a little confused.

"Yes," He muttered, looking as nervous as ever, "Yes, and I don't quite know what to say."

"Spit it out." Kairi urged, a little desperately.

"I'd like to take you somewhere, just you and I. Away from London, away from cases, just… us." He finally managed to choke out, a hidden betrayal in his logical brain causing a war within himself.

Kairi grinned, "We can do that." She exhaled heavily, "For a minute there, I thought you'd propose."

Sherlock flashed her a devious grin, "You think I'd be that thoughtless? To propose to you at our friends wedding?" He scoffed, "How dull."

Kairi scrunched her nose at him and moved in closer, sidling up to his arm and curling herself around him, "So that means you've thought about it?"

Sherlock froze for a second and looked down at Kairi who was simply looking up at him, curious, not expectant. He cleared his throat, and added with an air of nonchalance, "Hardly."

Kairi burst into laughter, leaning on him heavily, "You're a romantic idiot, I hope you know that. Deep down inside that mind palace of yours is a gigantic, hopeless romantic who makes flower crowns and sings Celine Dion in the shower." She tugged his coat slightly, flicking her cigarette to the ground and stomping it as she went to make her way back to the reception, "Let's get back to the fun then."

Sherlock dropped his finished cigarette and stomped it out as well. On the exhale he muttered, "I thought that's what we were having. Fun. Away from all those  _people._ " He sounded so utterly disgusted.

Kairi spun in his grip and wrapped her arms around him tightly, pinning his arms to his sides and he just sighed heavily.

"These sort of emotional displays must be stopped." He added without really meaning it.

Kairi took in a deep breath and exhaled in a dreamy fashion, "You love it."

Sherlock only chuckled and leaned in, kissing the top of her hair and smiling, "Perhaps."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Wow... I finally finished it. I cant believe it, it feels SO WEIRD. This story was a struggle for me to complete during this last year. I went through a lot of stuff and changed in a lot of ways and spent a good amount of time just hurting. Writing this story, no matter how difficult it was, has helped me in so many ways. It helped me stay somewhat focused and driven through depression and I could always come back and read it and your comments to bring a little light to my day.
> 
> It doesn't matter if you were here for my first chapter of born in black and white or you randomly found me and devoured my stories in a matter of hours. Every single time I'd see people reading it or get a notification for a comment or PM, I was just so absolutely floored. It made everything so much better knowing that not only did people see my story, but they cared about my characters and their paths.
> 
> For those of you who were there for me during BiB&W and sort of got to witness everything I was going through, I can't thank you enough for completing this process with me. This has been a huge driving force in my life and its been so necessary for my healing process.
> 
> As for Sherlock and Kairi, I doubt this will be the last story, but for now, I'm taking a break from the wild world of Sherlock Holmes. I left things pretty open for ideas, so if you have any one shots you'd like to see, do not hesitate to send them to me. My writing moods vary greatly and even though I might be in the midst of writing a different, unrelated OC, I wouldn't mind stopping back in if an idea strikes me as particularly wonderful. I keep a list of every one that gets sent to me, so it could even pop up long after you requested it. So maybe put me on author alert, or follow my one shot story The Softer Sides of Insanity, for any character related updates.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr as SaraRoseUrBoat, so find me - if you have anything remotely related to fandoms on your blog, Its a pretty sure thing I will follow you back.
> 
> Thank you again for everything. This has meant so much to me and I'm so proud and excited that its complete.
> 
> Best of luck my Holmies.

**Author's Note:**

> AN
> 
> HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> 
> I've missed you all greatly. I am working on this story and hope to keep you steadily updated. I make no promises, but I'm trying to stay ahead of the curve this time so you'll have more steady updates :D
> 
> Also, credit goes to flaming-amber who gave me inspiration for the title! Also more thanks to Elianna who coined the term Kailock in the first installment! I'm hoping to see some familiar faces to chat with - you know how I adore talking to all of you, so please don't hesitate to ask questions. I refuse to spoil things, but I can clarify and discuss things as always. The cover art is a place holder right now, I'm still working on it.
> 
> This is a very short first chapter, catching up a little bit since we left off at the epilogue six months ago. I'd love to hear what you think and I hope to get the next chapter to you within the week. Please leave comments, favorite/alert to stay updated :D We will have Sherlock and Kairi reunited VERY SOON :D :D
> 
> Much love my Holmies...


End file.
